Divorced, But Not Broken
Divorced, but Not broken Chapter 23

I snuggled closer into the pillow, frowning that it wasn't as soft as it was before, and when I fluttered my eyes, feeling the arms around me, I realised that it wasn't a pillow, it was Jonah.

He was sleeping when I looked up at his face where I was lying on his chest, he looked so relaxed compered to when he was awake and smiled at him. God I was so lucky, I didn't even care that he was rude and hard to understand sometimes, he was here, holding me and made sure that I was comfortable and secure when I felt the pillow under my right hip and smile more, he still was the sweetest guy I ever met, nobody had ever cared for me the same way he did, nobody.

My parents tolerated me, as long as I didn't do anything stupid, they didn't care, and that's why they were so disappointed in me, I never seen them happier them when I married Ryan and I had thought that they were happy for me, but in reality, they were happy for him, that they got him and not me. come to think of it, he did visit them a lot, leaving me home, making excuses that he was already on his way, and he didn't think to stop, and pick up me. f**k them.

I smiled more at him, Jonah. My neighbour that did more than Ryan ever did for me, and he was my husband.

I reached out slowly and touched his face with my trembling fingers, afraid to wake him up, I just wanted us to stay like this forever, just like this, close together, no talk and no barrier between us about what we were or weren't, just him and me.

He made a small sound when I smiled even more, he was adorable sleeping, even from this angle when I had to look up at him, he really looked like the twenty-year-old kid he was, and I didn't care, I wanted him, everything, I wanted it.

I caressed over his nose and cheekbones, they were really sharp, sharper then mine in the hard features he had, a strong jawline and high forehead, he just screamed perfection to mine more ordinary face, I mean I wasn't ugly, but I wasn't a beauty queen either like a certain w***e that used to be my best friend was. f**k I really hated her still, and Ryan, he was speaking about soulmates and still he was f*****g more girls than that stupid girl he had fooled into marrying him.

He shifted suddenly the slightest like he was afraid to hurt me by changing position and my heart melted even more.... oh god... I really was getting it bad for him and I knew it.... f**k again... he had told me that I had to control my feelings and I did... it was just hard you know... being around someone that you cared for and not getting stupid ideas in your head, especially not with a guy like him, that helped me, cared when nobody else did....

He took a deep breath and I got still since I knew he was about to wake up and I pulled my hand back down carefully and just closed my eyes.

my heart beating faster for so many reasons, him waking up and me just getting high on being here in his arms, and the hard to kill feeling inside my chest that he maybe was feeling something more for me too, not just friends that f****d, God I really hoped that.... he shifted the slightest again, taking his arms tighter around me making me whine the smallest from the pressure being on my hip and I felt it when his eyes snapped open, and I swore at my own body for betraying me.

"Andrea baby, are you okay?" he didn't seem really awake yet with a husky voice when I made a small gasp from him calling me baby, he only had done that once, when I was trying to get away and I didn't really think about it being in panic mode, but now he was calling me that, here in the middle of the night, holding me in his strong arms, s**t he really was making it hard for me not to have feelings for him.

"Yeah Jonah... I'm good...don't worry baby..." I know I was pushing it, but he just gave me a pleased smile back still eyes closed, and I had to stop myself making a big shriek of joy that was pushing hard thru my chest, he didn't hate it when I said it, he didn't flinch or anything, so maybe he did feel something for me too?!

He snuggled his face into my hair and took a deep breath making me even more ecstatic, he was smelling me and he liked it when his smile was still on his handsome face, he had to feel something, he just had to, I mean he was here holding me, calling me baby and smelled my hair, I know I wasn't a love expert, but that check some boxes even I know was in the right direction.

Maybe, just maybe we could be... something else, I really wanted that, I don't know how and when it had happened, but I only wanted him, no one else, not some other guy my age, not Ryan, just him, the stern young guy that was protecting me, made me feel safe for the first time in years

I opened my eyes again, expecting myself to be cuddled inside of Jonah's arms again when the sharp feeling of coldness hitting me when he wasn't here in the bed and I was alone with the pillow being underneath my hip even more, making me groin... s**t... and I really, really needed to pee, I didn't want to wake him up last night, not when he had been so close and called me baby, I would have rather peed my pants then be woken from that.

"Jonah?" I was almost afraid to call him out when I was in his bedroom. I was sleeping in his bed and I heard the small voices from the outside the door, one was him and the other one I didn't recognise but made me not call out again, whoever he was talking to, he didn't answer me back so that meant that he didn't want me to draw attention to myself and I just fiddled with my fingers waiting for him to be done with whatever he was doing and looked around the room.

It was bigger in here, bigger than my bedroom and he only had two small windows, placed higher up, only for small light sources to get inside and not to look out from.

The bed I was in was bigger too, everything in here seemed calculated and looked more like an interior design magazine then a crappy apartment complex, he did seem like the type though, he wanted stuff where they were supposed to be, I liked that, he was neat and seem to have his s** together, even more than I ever did.

I was crossing my legs the slightest, I really wanted to pee, and I looked stressed at the bedroom door, please God let him be done soon enough.

I was closing my eyes, making small faces of the pain and uncomfortableness that moving my hip around did, I needed more drugs and I needed them now when I decided to just get up, I know that I wasn't supposed to, but I just couldn't take it anymore when I was going to pee on his amazing bed if I didn't when the door suddenly open and I looked up like I had been caught red-handed doing something I wasn't supposed to do.

"Were the f**k do you think you are going?!" he was fully dressed in a sweater and jeans, compered to mine naked body, I hadn't even realised that I was that before he was staring at me angry and hungry at the same time.

"I need to pee..." I just mumble the words when his face lighted up like he got what I wanted and just gave me a small smile, coming forward and I snaked my arm around his neck when he lifted me up, not missing a beat when I just stared at him, picking me up like it was nothing, like he wasn't helping me to the bathroom when I couldn't go there on my own.

He smelled so good, and I smiled at him, a big dumb smile that I couldn't help myself from doing and he smiled back putting me down on the toilet, his eyes were warm, and my heart made me flustered again when he just stood there, watching me like he had forgotten why he even carried me in here.

"Jonah..." I smile more awkward when he just stood there and seemed to wake up from me talking to him and just laughed like he got it again and walked out, closing the door on me.

I called him when I was done and almost got a small heart attack from when he opened the bathroom door, naked and hard when I gawked at him, s**t he wanted to f**k me and I had no idea how it would happen, or if I could even do it.

"Jonah... I'm sorry but I can't f**k you, my hip still hurts too much and..." I didn't get any further when he just scowled at me, like I was being stupid and walked past me, turning on the showerhead above his bathtub, that was bigger than mine too for the record and I just fell quite... oh s**t he was showering, and I thought in my stupid head that he had wanted to f**k me.

"Yeah, I know, I'm not stupid or blind, and since you couldn't sleep last night, I'm guessing that you were in pain then too..." he shifted his eyes to me when I just gasped, was he awake last night? When I called him baby and touched his face? I just stared back at his unreadable face with my own desperate one, if he wanted to tell me something, he could do it, and I wouldn't be afraid, not one second of me was afraid of anything he could say to me.

He seemed to be thinking and I just held my breath, like I always seemed to do when I waited on him to decided something, even standing here naked with a hard d**k didn't take away the power he had over me, making me do whatever he wanted. He seemed to have made up his mind and just sighed like he didn't want to talk about last night, whatever he remembered, he sure as hell wasn't bringing it up, no matter what I thought of it.

"Andrea... lets just do this okay, its f*****g hard as it is seeing you naked and not getting to f**k you, its killing me over here as you can tell..." he smirked in the end when I just swallowed the disappointment in my chest and smiled back, he was hard, like really hard and I giggled making him smirk more, oh he was proud, of himself and his d**k, and why not? He should be, he was stunningly hot and hard standing by the bathtub listening to the water filling it up in the background.

"Oh, I can tell..." I smirked back and he chuckled, feeling the tension fade away between us, I didn't want to be weird with him, like I said, I trusted him, no matter what happened, I knew that he was not trying to hurt me, even if he did sometimes because he was being honest with me.

"Alright baby girl, I can't f**k you but that doesn't mean that I can't touch you and trust me, that is what I'm going to do, every inch of that beautiful body that belongs to me and only me is going to feel my hands." He smirked more when I cough from the sudden change of his voice coming up the last step and lifted me up again and I felt his hard d**k being moved against my ass making me bite my lip.

this was going to be just as hard for me, if not harder when I was already feeling my core tightening and my fingers running over his naked chest making small sighs of pleasure when he took the last step over the bathtub and sat down with me still in his arms carefully and I just stared at him when our faces where close, our breaths mixing together making me smile before kissing him first, the taste of sweet mint made me moan, he tasted great, every damn time we kissed.

not that it had been that many times, but man did I love it when he pushed his tongue inside me, taking my whole mouth hostage when I leaned back more, giving him more room to get a better angle and I shivered when he was biting my bottom lip and I just moaned again, I wanted more, of everything when the deep dark chuckle was coming from my neck and I knew somewhere that he was doing something that I was going to be mad about but I didn't care when his hands where following my body, strong and firmly, just enough for me to feel him.

*f**k, I really want to feel you Andrea, just a little bit baby, that's all, just push your pretty legs apart for me and I will give you what you want." I was already losing my words when his hand was down at my stomach, just above my p**ty, like he was waiting for me to comply and I shifted my legs apart, not by much but enough for him to snake his hand between my thighs and I immediately felt the throbbing heat when his fingers where inside me, it wasn't that bad in the water, my hip wasn't having pressure the same way when I pushed myself down on his fingers, wanting more, that he would give me what I wanted.

"Stop that, right now!" I stopped and looked up at him confused, I was already out of breath and wanted to come, and he just told me to stop moving, that was torture, and he knew, especially when he twisted his fingers the slightest making me do small sounds and I looked at him begging, he couldn't just leave me like this, that was just being cruel to me!

"I never said that you could do that, I just said open your legs to me and you did like a good girl so Im not going to punish you for disobeying me, this time..." I hitched my breath from his dark threatening voice, and I knew he was serious, and I didn't like it, not one bit, no matter how he was going to punish me, I knew that I was going to suffer, making me beg him in the end.

"You better listen to me, next time you do something that I didn't tell you, I'm going to punish you and trust me baby girl, you are not going to like it..." I nodded before I corrected myself fast staring innocently into his hard eyes.

"I'm going to listen to you Jonah, I'm not going to do something that I'm not supposed to!" I hurried to tell him that when he just smirked at me, knowing that I was afraid that he would change his mind and punish me, but most of all, I didn't want him to leave me hanging here in the bathtub with his fingers inside my p***y still clenching around him.

"Good girl." I swear the he felt me getting tighter around him when he smirked more and I gulped, s**t, he really got it that I got turned on when he said that, I didn't know if I was ashamed of relief when he kissed me again making me breathless when he started to move his fingers slow and I whined back at him when he ignored me this time and squeezed my right b****t with his big hand, making me fall back with my head when he released my mouth again and made me jolt from the light pinch that came from my n****e making me clench even more around his fingers, I was lost to him and I knew it, he could do whatever he wanted to me and I would say yes every time.

"I love your t**s so much Andrea, big and beautiful, like a real f*****g woman, I just want to take my d**k and rub it between them, rub my c*m all over them.." I gasped again from hearing him talk like that, making his fingers move again when he had stopped and I moaned wanting to push myself back down on them only to remembered that I couldn't, f**k!

"Do it, rub your c*m all over my t**s!" I didn't even know I had said that out loud when he stopped and looked at me surprised for a couple of seconds before looking pleased again and I screamed from his fingers going fast now, making the water trash around us and I closed my eyes when the powerful tightening erupted making me shake, bucking my hips the slightest against his fingers before mellowing down the motion, finally stopping when I stared into his eyes that where pleased and turned on from seeing me come on his fingers, s**t that was sexy as f**k for me too.

I was still panting when he had the same hand he had inside of my p***y was on my face, caressing it and made me smile, god I loved how he just knew what I wanted, like he could read my mind, or maybe I was just that f*****g obvious, or maybe it was because he was the first one I had ever met that paid attention, the possibility where endless.