Divorced, But Not Broken
Divorced, but Not broken Chapter 30

He drove us home, fast and silent, not saying one word more than for me to get out when I didn't have the courage to even move when he opened the door and got inpatient and pulled me out making me yelp for his hand being around my already bruised wrist

when he let me go giving me the slightest glint of regret before it disappeared, and he got cold again.

We got into the elevator, and I didn't close my eyes, it wasn't that scary anymore, not when he was with me, what scared me was the darkness that was luring over his face and posture, just waiting to get inside the doors and start doing whatever he was planning. My body was trembling when the doors opened and he was still holding onto my arm in his firm grip and pulled me along, I looked surprised when he walked towards my door instead of his and my heart sank, he was done with me. sick of me when I watched in surprise when he opened the door not even looking at my stunned face, he had keys to my place, what the hell was that about? Did he have that all along and why didn't I know about it?!

"It's your keys." He must have seen me gawking at him when he got us inside and closed the door locking it behind us.

I just stared around the apartment, the last time I was here, was when Chris had hurt me, and I hated every second of this, being here and not being able to escape the hurt and anger that I was feeling from being back.

"I don't want to be here." I just said that, the anger still not being big enough for me to start fighting back when he just huffed at me taking of his west and hanging it on the chair I had in the small hallway pointing to me to get further inside and I complied taking small steps, feeling him behind me when I felt my zipper on my dress being pulled down and I made a small scared sound from the sudden movement, what the hell was he going do to me?!

"Take it off." I just turned around slowly, my eyes begging him not to do whatever he was planning when I got nothing back, no smirk and no mercy, shit he really was mad at me this time wasn't he?

"I know that you are not deaf Andrea, just take off the f*****g dress before I do it for you!" I flinched when he sounded irritated, his words going out like whiplashes when I just started to slide out of the dress, I was still naked underneath it and looked at him desperately, standing bare in my own apartment, feeling so fucking vulnerable that I wanted to start crying.

"don't give me that look, you did this, and I had warned you long enough, I been fucking nice, and you just take advantage of that, I don't like that Andrea...." He was making a low voice again when I just gulped and he pointed to the bedroom, making me even more nervous, I didn't know shit about what he had been planning to do, was he going to pin me down at the bed again and watch me cry? The horror in my chest started to claw its way out and I know I was sniffling when we got inside my bedroom and he stopped and walked past me, sitting down on the bed and I stared at him, staring right back at me with his young hard face.

"Come over here, right now." He had his legs wide apart when I was shaking now and just shook my head the slightest, no I didn't want to, whatever he was going to do, I didn't want it.

He looked up at me, giving me a frown like he didn't expect me to say no and got up from the bed just as fast and I made a small, scared sound when he had his arms around me, shutting my eyes hard just waiting for him to do something that I know was going to hurt."

"Hey.... Andrea... what are you doing?" I didn't open my eyes or stop shaking from the horror that was holding my body hostage not making me able to move when I felt his arms around me, his hand on my back that was caressing me, making me shivers from the way his fingertips were making small circular motions on my soft skin.

I didn't answer, just made a sobbing sound into his chest that I was hiding in, I didn't want to be punished, not like he had done in the bed earlier, holding me down, scaring the shit out of me.

I just gave into the hard cry that was pushing inside my chest and was shaking in his arms when he held me tighter, finally getting that I was terrified, of him and what he was going to do to me, I really hated everything right now.

"Wait.... Just wait baby.... What are you crying over, I'm not going to hurt you, I already told you that..."? I looked up when he seemed really worried seeing my destroyed face, my scared eyes and overall helplessness I was feeling, knowing there was nothing I could do to fight back if he was really planning on hurting me.

"I'm not going to hurt you Andrea." I just stared back into his dark eyes that was serious and I made a small whining noise that I did believe him but still didn't, he was so angry, and he had hurt me, scared me and it was like now that I seen that side of him, I was scared to see it again.

"You did hurt me...." I looked down at my wrist and he followed my eyes with his own before getting real guilt plastered over his face, he knew that whatever had happened in his bedroom, he wasn't the same guy he seemed to be right now, in control or ever thinking of hurting me, threaten me like he had done in there.

"Yeah, I did... and I'm sorry, I really am... I never meant to hurt you... I just... lost fucking control for a few seconds and I promise, that will never happen again, you hear me?" I was still having my head tilted up and just watched his face, he was pleading me now, wanted me to believe him that he wasn't going to do it again, and I wanted to. but a small part of me knew that he would do it again, when I least expected it, and it was already killing me.

"I just.... Need you to trust me...I need that, I really do Andrea..." I was confused but my crying had started to fade away when I just did small sobbing sounds, he needed my trust. For what? I still was blinking at him not knowing what to answer him when he just exhaled and pulled me closer, holding me like he never had been angry and made me calm down against him, the scent of him against my nose and the small kisses he was planting on my head was the best thing in the world, I needed him, and I knew it. "I do trust you Jonah..." my voice was a whisper, that made him stop and look down at me, giving me a small smile like he was relieved that I had finally said something back.

"Good.... Because if you don't... we can't do this and that would be fucking painful for me, I care about you Andrea, more then you know...." He stopped again and I just made a small sigh, yeah, he had told me that. He cared for me, but did he have feelings for me? Like the way he had been showing me, not in words but in actions.

I wasn't going to push it, not right now, not when I knew that he was not going to change his answer, not for me or for anyone asking the same question.

I smiled the slightest when he stroked my still naked body with his warm hands, I was getting cold, and I just wanted to get dressed and leave this place, I really didn't like being here since Chris hurt me, like the feeling of being a worthless whore was still soaked into the walls of this place. It was just probably me going crazy since Jonah didn't seem to mind at all being here.

"Can't we just go back to your place? I want to get dressed and watch Netflix...." He raised his eyebrows when I made another trying smile, so we didn't work when we were outside these walls, maybe we should just be inside, do our thing and don't give a shit about the rest.

"Not going to happen, I'm still going to punish you for what happened earlier." He sounded so sure when I looked shocked back at his calm face, he was what?! But he just told me that he was not going to hurt me, I didn't understand anything?!

He just made a deep chuckle that I felt right down to my core when I stared at him going back to the bed, sitting down again and I just watched him looking at me, his dick being hard again and I knew for the way his eyes were having a gleam of being pleased, just like his face a smirk that he did when he was turned on by me.

"I'm going to spank you, now. Get over here." I made a sharp intake from the way he was grinning at me, that bastard, so he was going to hurt me! I crossed my arms, feeling a lot more confident when he looked amused at me defining him, knowing just as much as me that I was going to give in, somehow, I did.

"No, that is hurting me, and you promised that you were not going to do that Jonah!" I made a small huff in the end too, he promised me things and then he just said the opposite in the next sentence, made no sense to me.

His smirk just got bigger when he leaned back more just watching me, not giving me an inch that he was changing his mind, having my body give away just how much I was getting turned on by what unwavering confidence that only he had, sitting here like a goddam king in my smaller bedroom.

"Last chance, do you trust me or not?" he sounded serious underneath the amusement when I just watched him, was he going to leave if I said no? I did trust him, but spanking me? What the hell was that about? I nodded when he frowned, and I remembered that he didn't like when I didn't use my words when he asked me questions.

"I trust you Jonah, with my life." My voice was sincere and honest when his smirk was dropped from the heavy words, I did trust him, more than I ever imagined I ever do to a guy that I only known for a short time.

"Thank you for trusting me Andrea." I walked over the last steps, already drawn in from his warm luring eyes that was promising me everything, and like I sucker, I just stood Infront of him, giving myself over completely to his mercy.