Divorced, But Not Broken
Divorced, but Not broken Chapter 63

I was heading towards my small office, ignoring the stare and obvious smirks I was getting from coworkers that was in the back. making me fasten my pace, going up the small stairs to the closet that was called my workspace, cursing over my hair and outfit, I looked like a mess when I stopped seeing James sitting inside, just staring at me when I looked at him like a dear caught in the headlights, oh shit. He looked pissed as hell when I took a deep breath, I was so going to get fired wasn't I?!

I walked inside slow and just stood there, my head bent down and didn't look him in the eyes, I was a coward, and I knew it, but could he blame me? It wasn't my fault Jonah had gone all protective over me. he loved me, and he was like that. I couldn't stop him even if I tried.

"Andrea." He made me look up hearing my name, sounding serious and I swallowed again, shit he was looking really grim, nowhere from the happy James that was having fun with me, sharing about him missing his mother and just being a good guy, nope. This was my boss James, the hard stare and distance frown that was just waiting to scold me, f**k!

"James.......I'm so..." I didn't get any further when he just raised his hand and I stopped, he didn't want to hear my sorry or excuses and I didn't blame him, I really didn't after what had happened this last week.

"You are late, and what the hell are you wearing?! This is a place of business, and you know that. I told you that I think you have potential and I still do, but honestly, this guy you are.... dating.... well, you need to separate your personal life from work." He was frowning even more talking about Jonah and I just nodded, I did because he was right, that was totally unacceptable. Jonah was just being himself, but that didn't help right now when I stood before James looking like he still was wondering if I was f*****g worth the trouble of having me on the payroll, shit, my heart was going faster again. I was just holding my breath, pleading him with my eyes not to fire me, yes, I was f*****g begging James, and I would do it every day if he kept me as an employee.

He sighed and just got up making me feel the slightest better, he didn't look like he was going to fire me, but I was not in his good graces anymore, oh how the table had turned fast since I met Jonah.

"Just don't show up late and maybe not in that." He gestured at my clothes making me blush, I had sweatpants and Jonah's shirt and I just realized that I had no bra when James eyes was stuck on my nipples for more then was appropriate, just a second too long making my stomach get a cold stone in it, he told me he liked me and I just found a boyfriend that was rude and territorial, this was never going to be pretty between us.

"Got it." I didn't have the strength to argue, it had been a long fucking morning and I was not ready for round number two with James when he just gave me a sad look that he wasn't suppose to show me, making my heart clench from the ache of me just turning him down, I felt bad, I did, but I loved Jonah and nothing would change that, and he was my friend... or he was.... Oh god I really hoped we still was friends even after this.

"I expected better from you, that's all." He had a disappointed tone making the small anger in my stomach light up, why did he say that!? I didn't want to argue with him, and he was making it so hard when he sounded like my dad. that he was disappointed in me, well maybe I was f*****g disappointed in him too, for just having a shitty attitude just because I didn't like him back!

"You don't have to expect shit from me James. You are not my dad or my boyfriend, and not my friend either since you can't fucking accept that I don't like you back!" He was just about to go out the door when I heard myself starting to speak before I could stop, making his body get tense, the shoulders pulling up and fingers that was clambering the doorframe, he was angry and so was I, he didn't need to say that shit about being disappointed, I knew that I was for everyone around me, f**k him! "No... that's right.... I'm none of that. I am your boss Andrea, lets just leave it at that from now one, make it easier for the both of us." His voice was calm like I couldn't hear the trembling in it, the anger just waiting to lash out at me, I made a snort, well there it was, at least now he was being honest, he just wanted to f**k me like everyone else, like Austin and I was not going to fucking take that from him of all people.

"Yeah, lets just leave it at that, you know what!? lets just pretend that we never were friends, and we can just go back to glare at the other one from across the hallway when we pass, suited me just fine before and I can do that again!" He looked hurt when I smirked, oh I wasn't going to be silent when he said shit that wasn't f*****g working for me, He didn't control me, I just worked for him.

"You hated me?" He sounded even more hurt when I nodded, yes. I hated him before, and he knew that so why the hell was he looking so hurt like this was some damn news to him when I was holding my ground. the anger pumping around my body and crossed arms and a mean look over my face, he had no idea how fucking bitchy I could be if I wanted to.

"Yes! You where on my case every fucking second! I'm not blind you know, you were always being hardest on me, and instead of just telling me why, like you did in the car before I told you I had a boyfriend you where just acting like a bastard, that is not the way to f*****g reach people James, its not f*****g cool, and that's why women don't get you!" I was done yelling at him when he looked like he had lost the air in his lungs from me just telling him what I felt, the fucking truth and it hurt, I know it did.

I had enough. Let him fucking fire me when I started to rush out from the office, not giving a shit that I brushed him on the way out and he was just staring at the same spot I was standing in when he seemed to snap out of it, feeling the small bump of my body making contact with him and started to walk after me, fast and determined when I was out in the warehouse and just going for the exit.

people sneaking peeks since we were both looking like we were about to kill someone when I slammed the door open and walked out in the backside parking lot going for my car, feeling his hand on my arm when I snatched it back again like he had burned me, He wasn't f*****g allowed to touch me, nobody was except Jonah!

"Don't fucking touch me! You hear me!? fuck you!" I was snarling at him when he just looked at me like he didn't understand why I was being so aggressive, and I started to cry and I didn't know why. I just wanted to when he didn't say a word, just staring at me like he was feeling bad and so was I. f**k I was a mess just crying in front of my boss that had every reason to fire me but he didn't, and he didn't deserve my anger I realized, he wasn't the bad guy here......f**k....

"Andrea.... Did something happen?!" His face had changed completely. he wasn't angry anymore, just worried when I shrugged, nope, nothing had happened, just a crazy guy that was after me and wanted to f**k me against my consent, otherwise I was cool. "I ...I just had a bad day...and you know what...its not your problem James... I'm sorry for yelling at you and being the worst employee ever, if you want to fire me, then just do it." I looked up from the ground, my eyes red and nose running from the bursts of tears just attacking me when he had his arms crossed just trying to get me, well good luck, I didn't even know myself.

"It is my problem Andrea.... I don't want to lose our friendship... you're right you know... I am fucking bad at telling people nice things, and I did it only because I liked you... f**k..." He made a small guilty smile that I was too drained not to answer. he was trying, and I was just exhausted from all the emotions that was going around me, it sucked.

We both just stood there, awkward and still not, fuck I hated this, being on edged when he was being nice back, I almost had a better time dealing with him being an a*s instead of just giving me a smile that I know was because he cared for me. I was not used to that, not with Ryan just leaving me behind in our life and Kayla being a bitch... f**k... I still hadn't found her....my guilty conscience sneaking its way inside, I didn't need that too, not right now.

"Look.... I just want to go home and change, you can take this day from my paycheck, I just can't be here standing in no bra and crying like a freakshow..." I knew that people were staring at me, at us. oh God the gossip after this was going to be a nightmare, more than it already was, slowly wiping my eyes with my arms, this sucked.

James made a sigh and started to walk over to his car and opening it, me just standing there still not moving just watching him when he came back and handed over a hoodie that made me laugh when he smirked, I couldn't even believe he just did that, he was being nice again and I was just being a bitch, it was my natural state these days it seemed.

"Go home, and you know what? just go on that vacation. you need it. don't come in tomorrow, I got you..." He smiled genuinely now, and I wanted to start to cry again, he was the best friend ever, he really was when I just walked over the last steps and hugged him, feeling him tense up, my boobs pushing at him, but I didn't care, I just wanted to say thanks, for what he did for me.

"Thanks...." I was just whispering it when I pulled back and he gave me a stiffer smile that I knew was because he was having a hard on but who cared, he was not Austin and I was not going to give him shit for a natural reaction, putting the hoodie on and zipping it. It was blue and had a baseball logo on it, he smirked when I had my arms in my side, showing it off for him, feeling much better then just five minutes ago when I wanted to start killing people.

"Go Vikings!" he made a smirk when he had his arms crossed and just stared at me amused, it looked older and I was going to return it as soon as I got home, I was a lot of things, but I didn't steal people clothes.

"It was mine during high school." He just said that, and I nodded, yeah, I got that, so he was into baseball, that was pretty cool...

"Where you any good?" I was making a teasing smile, still red cried and he made a huff like he wasn't going to answer that, making me even more curious, now he had to tell me.

"Yeah, I was decent.... I mean I got a scholarship but... well let just say the bigger league don't mess around and I just didn't cut it..." he went silent, and I stopped smirking, fuck maybe that was his dream? playing baseball and not being the manager here in this shitty place, God know that he was too good for it, he really was.

"I'm sorry James... fuck I am a bad friend and I know it.... I didn't used to be like this... aggressive I mean... when I was married to Ryan.... Well, I wasn't like this...." I trailed off when he smiled like he believed me, and I sighed.... it was embarrassing telling him that I was this stupid housewife that didn't know her husband was f*****g his intern and only going public about it when she moved across the Atlantic.

"Don't worry about it... its kind of nice, see you just telling me to go to hell, not many people do that, especially when I pay them." He chuckled when my cheeks turned bright red, oh shit I deserved to be fired, ten times over and I knew it.

"Yeah, don't worry, there will be more times...." He smirked when I was grinning, I did feel good, knowing that we were friends again.

"I'm holding you to that and remember, I want my sweater back, its not yours!" He was shouting it after me when I already was walking over to my car shrugging to him and making sure that he was me snuggle the sweater closer, it smelled like James. it was kind of funny because it was nothing like Jonah, but I didn't hate it when I got into the car and started to drive home, thank God for James.