Divorced, But Not Broken
Divorced, but Not broken Chapter 68

We ordered and ate. Everyone kept the talking to minimum after the blow-up between me and Jonah's mother making me feel worse when she didn't look at me once after she just kept quiet. whatever understanding I had hoped for, well. It was all gone now, just an illusion, and I knew that my parents wouldn't be any better, worse since my dad wouldn't be as cool with me and Jonah as his was.

When it was time for dessert I just wanted to go, mostly because of Jonah was quiet too, just pushing everything around being pissed. He was hurt and I got that, maybe he believed that his mother would understand and when she didn't, he was just as disappointed in her as she was in him for loving me.

I tried squeezing his hand a couple of times under the table but he just pushed me away making me even more irritated at him, he was acting like a pouting kid that his mother didn't like me and I was stuck in the middle of it, just like his father that was having the fortune or planned placement of being able to see the big tv screens over by the bar, I wished I would have thought of that.

"So... thank you for a lovely evening. Jonah." Fiona was on her feet, pulling her husband along with her that just gave me a smile and I returned it, taking everything I could get right now, God knows I needed it after this disaster of a night.

I just looked at Jonah that was drinking, not even trying to stop his mother making me sigh. he was so goddam stubborn and she seemed to be the source of that, making me believe that this was not going to change anytime soon.

I got up when he looked up at me surprised, still drinking from the glass in his hand and I just wanted to go home, that was it, we tried and failed, I wanted to go back and lick my wounds of being hated by his mother, I was just a human in the end. "Where the fuck do you think you are going!? sit your ass down again, I'm not done and I'm not letting you go alone!" He just said that and put the drinking glass to his mouth again making me frown at him, was he starting to get drunk already? We been here for like an hour and a half, seeing that his parents just walked off as fast as his mother could leave us.

"I want to go home, Jonah please." I wasn't begging him, I was just annoyed making him stop and make a small chuckle like I said something funny when I just stated that I was sick of seeing him being here a looking like he wanted to smash something, or someone. "Home?! And where the fuck is that, huh Andrea?!" he was making the slightest slur to his voice when I got cold, f**k. I knew what he was talking about, me staying at his place, the same one that he didn't want me in the first place.

I didn't answer. he was being ridiculous right now and drunk when I just crossed my arms and looked away. I was going to start yelling soon if he didn't stop being a d**k to me, I didn't fucking deserve it and he knew that just as much if he had been sober. "Its so fucking funny how you always go f*****g deaf when I ask you something, like you are trying to make me mad when you know I hate that!" I jerked back when his fist banged the table making my heart go faster seeing that he was having dark eyes now, the ones that I didn't trust when I made a small sound of being pathetic, like I always did when he got like this.

I should have known that whatever he had been acting towards me the last week was too good to be true. He was always having the darkness just luring underneath the surface, waiting to come out and scare me.

"Andrea!" he was growling my name making me jump again, my heartrate spiking and just trying to take deep breaths not to start panicking like my body wanted to do when he got like this, in every way capable of hurting me if he didn't catch himself doing it. "Yes, what!?" I didn't even remember what we talked about when I felt the cold sweat getting over my backside and started to look around the room, nobody paying attention to the angry young guy beside me and me just looking like I wanted to leave, great service for the record.

"Don't answer me like that, don't fucking ignore me just to snap at me! I'm your fucking boyfriend and not some sucker that wants to fuck you but can't because he is a fucking pussy!" I stared at him, eyes still dark and face scowling. oh right, he couldn't be mad at his mother so now he was going to be angry at me instead, talking about James, for the hundredth time since we became a couple, jealous bastard!

I just pressed my lips together. I was not doing this again, no fucking way was I going to fight over me and James, that was not what he had promised me when we were getting ready, he told me that I would be laughing, not being scared to death that he was going to snap and hurt me like he always did when he was like this.

"Typical, you like to cry and bitch about everything about me and what I did before, but as soon as I bring up that f*****g simp you go all f*****g protector on him! he is not a f*****g friend Andrea, and you are just fooling yourself if that what you think he wants from you!" He was getting even more upset from the thought that James was having feelings for me when I just stared at the table, I knew what he felt for me, and that he was trying to stop. we were trying to be friends and that was far more then what I could say about him and his whores!

"Shut the fuck up! I don't want to hear a fucking word more about James! You got that Jonah?!" I was standing up now, my heart racing and I felt even more like I wanted to just kill him than scared now that my own anger had kicked in, he just couldn't let this f*****g thing with me and James go, couldn't he?!

I didn't have time to think about what I just had said when his hands where on my arms, yanking me down hard again making me do a small, surprised sound of pain when he hadn't let me go and just stared at me, his face completely dark and he was taking deep breaths, the alcohol making him even more dangerous when I just held my breath. waiting for him to start doing something when his drunk eyes seemed to have caught my fear and sneered, letting me go like I had burned him with my skin and just got up, leaving me sitting down at the table still.

"I FUCKING HATE WHEN YOU LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT!" He was screaming now making the whole place look our way when I just sat there and felt even more stupid than before, I couldn't stop Jonah even if I wanted to, he was lost in whatever feelings he was having and acting out on them like a caged animal trying to break free.

"Don't you get it Andrea!? I love you! Do you know how many girls before you I loved?! Fucking zero, none and I got stuck with you! a thirty-three-year-old woman that gets scared every fucking time I raise my voice! I told you so many times, IM NOT GOING TO HURT YOU!" He was leaning forward, screaming in my face like he really wanted me to get it when I just closed my eyes, trying to endure the storm that was named Jonah.

"That's enough, let her be man, you clearly had plenty and I'm not going to just stand by and see you act like that to a woman!" I looked up scared seeing a guy, he was around my age when I just was shaking my head, wanting him to leave when Jonah got that smirk I didn't like, the one that I knew was trouble and that he had been looking for it when he started to scream at me.

"Its fine. Just leave." I said it begging making Jonah start to chuckle, giving me shivers down my back and not the good kind when he straightened himself up, making me even more scared when he was looking like he was going to enjoy this. I wanted to call the police, but I didn't at the same time, getting Jonah arrested was not what I wanted this night to end in.

I snapped to Tom instead, begging him to rush over here, He could make Jonah listen, and if he didn't, he couldn't just take him out like he could do with me.

"She is my woman, so I can do whatever I f*****g want with her, or what? Are you into her too, is that why you are here and trying to play some f*****g white knight?!" Jonah was looking so f*****g mean and arrogant that I wanted to throw up when the man just looked at him like he didn't even know what the hell he was babbling about, but I did. He was f*****g jealous, just like he always was.

"You sure got a funny way of showing that. you should show some goddam respect for her, not screaming at her when she clearly just wants to leave you!" I was shaking my head again, no I didn't want that. I just wanted him to not act like this, being drunk and all. this wasn't the Jonah I loved, this was just the jealous asshole that couldn't handle his emotions and lashed out at everything.

"Leave me?!" He started to laugh now, loud and menacing making me feel like I just wanted to crawl into a ball and hide when the man's eyes were on me and I was just begging him to stop this, nothing good would come out of keep pushing Jonah when he was like this, dangerous.

"She can't fucking leave me! don't you understand that!? nobody f*****g does it seems, she is mine and she is not going anywhere!" he was saying it dark and gritty making the man clench his fist standing there, getting even more pissed over Jonah's shitty attitude, and I had to admit, when he said it like that, it wasn't doing him any favours.

"Alright, but right now you need to back the fuck off man, or I'm making you do that." the man was sounding so calm when I was shaking, not from fear that Jonah would hurt me, but injure the man just trying to be nice and help me when Jonah was moving out from the table, already having his jacket off rolling up his sleeves almost making me want to start to laugh. was he serious about this?! why did it feel like I was part of some absurd fight club right now seeming that nobody, and I mean absolutely nobody was trying to stop him, not even his uncle that f*****g owned this place?!

"Okay motherfucker! let's give it your best shot, I even give you a free one for being so fucking ballsy talking back to me." I was still sitting down looking just as confused at the man that was almost smirking over Jonah standing there and just smiling like he wanted the man to hit him. f**k he was swaying the slightest, so he was even drunker than I thought making me believe that maybe I needed to start to worry about him getting his a*s kicked instead of the other way around.