Divorced, But Not Broken
Divorced, but Not broken Chapter 77

I was walking outside the gateway from the plane when the cold hit me hard making me shiver right away, seeing that I wasn't dressed for this weather at all coming back from a tropical Island that I had spent the last six months on before decided that it was time to come home, that.... and I didn't have the strength to apply for the necessary papers that was due to me not being an illegal immigrant on the island of St Vincent where I had been held up, living in my parents newly bought house that they got after learning that Ryan and Sky was staying.

I made a deep sigh inward. That was the worst time of my life, really, worst f*****g time coming over and just pretending not to die, that I was in fact still dying on the inside when I walked slow and ignored the glances men gave me. I was wearing a dress and it was cold outside, it would probably snow soon and here I was just strolling along in a summer dress and a small suitcase and purse, the only thing that I had to my name since my cheap ex-husband was still not willing to give me more than just his half of the mortgage and the rest I had to pay, scheming bastard.

I was just looking around, I know that James had come to pick me up, he was the only one that I was still talking too, I couldn't talk with Tom or Joseph... I just... I couldn't... that would make me suffer even more then I already did when saw the man that was looking around and I stared at him, omg, was that James?!

He was looking more fit, and he just stood there like he didn't catch the eye of every woman around us, he looked confident and happy when he still hadn't seen me making me just start to walk over faster, glad to finally see a face that wasn't going to frown at me a soon as I showed up in a room, like my parents and my stupid ex-husband and his new wife did.

"James!" I was finally getting his attention when he saw me and just dropped his jaw when I was over, and he stared at me like I was crazy for even walking up to him of all people in the world.

"Andrea, is that really you?!" He sounded so surprised when I made a small shy smile, yes it was me, the unfaltering dying feeling in my chest could confirm that, I just didn't want him to know that when I made my smile bigger seeing his stunned face over me almost making me worried, did he really think I looked so different?

"Your hair is blonde... and shit... Andrea I'm not going to lie...you are skinny, what the hell happened to you?" He was getting a frown when my smile disappeared, didn't he like me being blonde and skinny? Every other guy out there did, couldn't move a step without someone asking for my number these days, even got an offer on the plane back.

"Nothing... just wanted change... just like you it seemed James... you have filled out well, doing CrossFit these days?" I made a teasing smile that he blushed at when I was giggling at his cute way of being embarrassed over my words.

"No...dance classes actually..." He made a small, sly smile making me burst out into laughter, that was great!

"Oh, let's go dancing then, you have to show me your skills!" I made a teasing step that made him start to chuckle from my spontaneous playfulness, I was trying, I really was or else, I would just stay inside my room like I did the first two months and just cry my eyes out.

"Are you even ready for that Andrea? because you know, you can't handle all this." He was making a gesture against his body that I just smirked at, he was still the same guy that microwaved pasta and was a hardass, I could handle him.

"Bring it on..." I made a giggle when his eyes got a small sparkle in them seeing me laugh and I knew that he had missed me, just as much as I had missed him, he was my f*****g best friend after all.

I just hugged him, hard and long when he pulled me closer and I was taking a deep breath, this was fine, I was fine, James was helping me and I was going to make it, being back here and not give into just riding over to Jonah's apartment the first chance I got and plead him to take me back, to forgive me for just walking away from him, from us.

"Did you have a nice Christmas then?" he was clearing his throat when he let me go when I just scoffed, fuck no I didn't have a good Christmas seeing that I was stuck with my parents and every other stranger there ever was at the stupid Christmas party that Ryan and Sky was hosting in their new big f*****g house on the beach.

"Nope, and you?" He had taken my bag and we were walking together, him holding onto my arm when I was grateful for him to take the lead, I was not feeling like I wanted to do anything when we were moving and dodging people that wasn't moving out of the way walking back to the exit where he had his car parked.

"Nope." He didn't say more making me sad, fuck he was alone, wasn't he? I stopped seeing the snow that was starting to fall making me do a small sigh, right, this wasn't a tropical Island I just remembered, and I had no jacket, great.

James saw my face drop and before I had time to say no, he had taken off his jacket and was putting it around my shoulders making me smile at him, he was such a gentleman, wasn't he? How the hell he didn't have a girlfriend was beyond me, he wasn't gay since I know that he liked women seeing the way he stared at me that night I dressed up for the f*****g date with Austin I just wanted to forget.

I looked up and made a grateful smile that he returned when he opened the door and I was already freezing my ass off feeling the cold unwelcoming blizzard that was telling me that I was back, home again.

I was slipping around in the snow making me reach out and grabbed his arm so that I didn't fall on my a*s when he was making us run the last part to the combi he still had and opened the door for me and I got in, grateful when he started the heater right away, shit it really was snowing hard right now wasn't it?

I looked out through the windshield when I was grabbing my seat belt and James was busy getting the car started when I looked up seeing people running around like crazy and my eyes stopped on a guy that was just standing there, and I swear that he was staring at me, being so far away when my heart went cold and I just stared back not being able to get my eyes away from the tall man that was not moving when he suddenly shifted and disappeared making me still grip my seat belt hard where I had stopped. Jonah. "James, that was him...." I was still staring at the spot where the man had been standing when he leaned over me and just watched at the same spot too, we where too far away from the main building to see anyone's face, just people moving around like ants when he made a frown, his glasses where slightly foggy still from getting inside the car.

"I don't see anyone, are you sure? You want to call the police, tell them what you saw?" He sounded serious, car was running, and he was just looking at me like he wanted me to do it, call the cops on a guy that may or may not be Jonah, standing far away in an airport, that was just as ridiculous as it sounded.

"No... just... no he wasn't him, just someone that looked like him, he doesn't know that I'm back...." I made myself swallow the hard tears that was pushing up and was going to ruin my makeup more than the snow already had, f**k! "He better not show his face around you anymore, I'm serious Andrea, he is a fucking drug addict and he hurt you! I'm not letting you be with that kind of guy, and had I known what he was doing to you, I would have taken out my dad's old gun when he came and got you back." He was sounding so dark when I made a small gasp, was he really saying that he would shoot Jonah, no! No that's not what I wanted! I wanted some f*****g peace and quiet, was that too much to ask?!

James was the only one that knew, everything. The full story, my parents just knew that I broke up with my boyfriend before I came to the wedding and that was it, and they didn't care to be honest, they had been happy I was alone I think, seeing me miserable was their favourite pastime.

"Just let it go James... it wasn't him and he is not coming around...." I was looking away out my window to the right when he made a sigh like he knew how hard I was trying not to burst out into tears when I felt his hand on my back, patting me like that was the only thing he could think of right now.

"I'm sorry you know... for whatever its worth, I'm sorry that things turned out to shit, I just want to see you happy Andrea, you deserve to be happy..." He was panning out when I looked back at him, tears already pushing out and made a small pathetic smile, did I really deserve to be happy? I had given up on Jonah, I had left him when he needed me the most.

"Yeah... let's just go home, okay?" I was searching for a napkin to wipe my eyes when he made a warm smile at me when I was still sniffling from the hard ache inside my chest, everything just felt a hundredth times worse than before, being back here again and I couldn't even pretend that I was okay as soon as a saw some guy that reminded me of Jonah.

"Its going to get better Andrea, I promise." He was finally starting to drive out into the hard snow that was coming down when I didn't answer him and just stared ahead into the distance, I didn't believe that for a second, I still loved Jonah, not even me being away for six months and on a freaking tropical Island could change that.