Divorced, But Not Broken
Divorced, but Not broken Chapter 81

"What the f**k is this!?" I made a small jump of fear when a big pile of papers was slammed on my small desk, and I stared surprised up at the fuming Angela. She was in a bad mood today seeing that she was frowning when she had her coffee and that usually was the only time of day that she didn't have a scowl on her face. "It's the papers you requested on the Kellerman case...." I just said it and already knew that she was going to chew the shit out of me when Carl was smirking, just enjoying the show, a*****e.

"I know what it f*****g is! What I don't understand is where the f**k your last braincells went when you gave me the wrong application, did it crawl up and die underneath all the f*****g bleach you use!" she was sneering when I touched my hair, why the f**k did she bring that up, I liked having blonde hair! Just because she had black hair and looked so goddam boring didn't mean that she was better than me!

"I'm sorry Angela, I'm sorry that I like to take care of my looks, and I'm sorry that you need to take out your self-hate on me, every f*****g day!" I was looking up at her, my eyes hard and voice venom, I had enough of this shit! She had been on my case the last three weeks, and it was getting old real fast. She just wanted to bring me down, every chance she got she was complaining about the way I looked, just because she was the most boring woman in the universe!

She just made a deep gasp, like she didn't expect me to bite back at some point, and believe me, I was being f*****g polite as it was seeing that I could have said so much more shit to her face!

"You are fired." She just said that, and I made a sneer, well she was a bitch anyway and she made me work like a freaking slave compared to the slacker behind me, I bet he f****d her or something like that seeing that she didn't give him half as much shit as me and he was a fucking attorney!

"Great! Don't call James no more, seeing that he only was nice since you took me in, that train has fucking passed Angela, so don't fucking come around my friend again!" I was growling when I snatched my coat and scarf, I was going to f*****g storm off and she was not going to stop me!

"Oh please, we all know that the only reason he helps you is because he is fucking you, look at you Andrea, you are a fucking skank, and you look like one too!" she was hissing back, I bet she wasn't this childish in court, but right now, she was hurt and emotionally involved, just like me.

"Yes, he is fucking me! fucking jealous!?" I just sneered back making her face loose her smirk and every ounce of colour in her stern face, that would shut her the hell up!

I hadn't fucked him, even if he offered me, and I was getting tired of people just assuming that I did to get what I want, trust me, living with James and having a shitty boss that was mean to me was not what I wanted, I wanted Jonah!

"Goddam whore..." She was muttering it when I walked out the door, leaving Carl stunned and probably turned on seeing that I had some claws on me even if I hadn't used them since I started on the firm, I wanted a fresh start, not be treated like some goddam whore that opened her legs to anyone!

I was walking fast nowhere, the anger still boiling inside me. it didn't matter what I did, she was never going to give me a chance making me regret all that f*****g job that I had done for her, all down the f*****g drain, f**k!

I stopped and looked around, it was midday and people were moving around seeing the snowing had stopped and the sun was out for once, probably shining to celebrate that I got fucking fired..... fuck again!

I took out my phone and called James, he didn't answer making me curse again, why the fuck was everything going not my fucking way today?! It was like I was being punished by the universe......I made a complaining noise feeling sorry for myself looking up again and decided to go back home... or to James's house... home was not that place, and I knew that too....

The burning was coming inside my eyes when I made small steps, forcing myself to walk and just not lose control and start to bawl my eyes out again when I saw a shadow that was coming up behind me in one of the windows, I was passing making my heart stop and my blood turn to ice in my veins, who the f**k was following me?!

I didn't stop, afraid that it was someone that wanted to hurt me, I had enough of guys making me bleed and cry, I was done with that when I made my way around a corner and just stopped, holding my breath and just waiting when I saw the tall guy that was walking fast and determined forward, not noticing that I had made a turn and was hiding behind the wall and I just stared at his backside.

Jonah.

Why the fuck was he following me!?" was he even drugfree by now, it had only been six months?

I started to walk behind him, seeing that he was searching for me when I just barely held his speed, he was so goddamn fast and tall, making me do small steps of almost running after him when he suddenly stopped like he had realised, that someone was following him.

"Jonah." I just said his name making him do a slight flinch that made my heart start to bleed, was he afraid of me? didn't he want to see me anymore, was I the worst thing to ever happen to him? Because he was the best to me.

"Jonah, I know it's you, just turn around and look at me." I was talking slowly when he hadn't moved yet and I was getting angry, he had two f*****g seconds of spinning around and showing his face, or I was going to call the cops on him for stalking me. "Just turn around, before I call the f*****g cops on you!" I was making a hissing voice now that he seemed to relax the slightest hearing that I would call the cops, just like he asked me not to do from the first time I met him.

"Fine, I know you would do it, wouldn't you Andrea?" He had turned slowly, saying my name in a way that made my heart start to beat fast and my core to start throbbing, fuck he was still so fucking handsome, even when he looked like he hadn't slept for days and I need of a haircut from his hair coming out form the hoodie that he had up over his head and face, he looked like a drug addict right now, scruffy and on edge when I didn't answer him, to afraid of what I was going to say.

"How did you know I was back?" He just smirked at that making my knees go soft, fuck he really just smiled like he knew everything in the world, like he had everything under his control when he didn't, seeing that he looked like shit and was stalking me.

"I know shit, told you that lots of times....." He just made a secretive smile, and his eyes was looking longingly at me, like he didn't want to say more but he still wanted me, just as much as I wanted to be with him. "Jonah... you are still using, aren't you?" I made a face that showed him that I wasn't going to stand for that, he needed to get clean, and I wanted to help him, but I didn't know how or even where to start.

"Nope. Been clean for three months, almost died, was a close call too..." He smirked when my heart dropped and he saw the pure horror that flashed over my face, he nearly died!? Why the f**k didn't Tom call me or anything like that, he knew that I loved Jonah, what the f**k was he thinking?!

"You son of a bitch! I'm going to fucking kill you! Do you know that?!" I was screaming at his stupid face, just standing there and telling me that he almost died looking like he was talking about the weather, I hated him so much!

"Yeah.... Just make it happen, not like you can do any worse to me, dropping me and just f*****g living away for six months, f*****g betraying me with my bros!" he sounded angrier, and I didn't get it, he was mad at me for leaving him? He was the one that snapped, all the f*****g time at me, he was smashing the f*****g window with his fist when I last saw him!

"I didn't betray you! You fucking betrayed me Jonah! not telling me that you were on f*****g drugs, me, your f*****g soulmate!" he flinched at the last word, but he knew that too, why the hell would he buy me a necklace that meant just that, he was just being stupid and hard-headed, like always!

"You are not my soulmate, just some old desperate woman that I wanted to fuck." He sounded so cold that it made me want to just start to cry, why was he acting like this? He was the one following me and now he talked like nothing mattered, that he never said he loved me and just wanted to get rid of me.

"Fine, I'm old and desperate! Does that make you feel better?!" I was screaming again making the bypassers take out their phones, ready to call the cops when I was breathing fast and furious staring up at him, looking like he didn't know what to say, he always was such a bastard when he was angry at me, and I wasn't going to take it anymore.

"You look like a goddamn whore, fucking look at you, disgusting!!" He was sneering at me when I raised my eyebrows, hurt and angry at his words, I did not look like a whore, I just had a different hair colour and was skinny, and he knew it.

"I'm the disgusting one, funny...." I made a mocking smirk, if anyone that didn't know us, they would see me that was dressed properly and him looking like a goddam bum next to me.

He knew that too making him even more angry when he took a step towards me, my heart starting to pound even harder, seeing his green blue eyes that was pinning me down and just making me out of breath was hard when I knew that he wouldn't do more, too much f*****g pride in the end.

"oh you are! you fucking disgust me Andrea and I wish I never fucking took pity on your stupid ass, and you getting skinny and dying your hair doesn't fix anything, you still look just as stupid and fucking desperate as the first time I saw you..." the sound of my heart being broken, for which time by him was making me loose the small confidence that I had been building up since I left him, I thought that I could match him but standing here feeling my defence just being teared down, everything I had built, gone in a blink of an eye, I was f*****g stupid.

I didn't say a word back, just pressed my lips together, trying not to start to cry here right on the street when he saw it and just smirked, he smirked that fucker when he knew that he had hurt me and that made me even more sick, he was enjoying this wasn't he?! "What's the matter babe, can't take the fucking truth? I thought you loved when I did that, I promise that I'm never going to fucking lie about anything ever again, not about you being stupid and so f*****g easy to manipulate that its almost boring, I mean you saw me f**k another girl and just did what I told you, that was when I knew that I could do whatever I f*****g wanted to you and you would just take it, like the good girl you are..." He made a small chuckle when his angry eyes were roaming all over me when I gave into the hard sniffle that I was making, not being able to hold back at his horrible words, this was the worst fucking day of my life.

"Why are you doing this to me?" my voice was filled with tears, I felt so fucking small again when he was towering over me, making me feel like I was nothing. like he always did when he lashed out at me, and he was right. I was stupid and easy to manipulate, making the shame that I was carrying around burn even deeper, I wanted to die.

He was right in front of me now and my whole body was shaking when I made a slight flinch feeling long fingers lifting my chin up, meeting his hard angry eyes that was staring me straight into the deeps of my soul, because I already had let him inside me, it was too late.

"Because I fucking can." He made a sadistic smirk and I whimpered when he let my chin go, the burn from his finger on my skin was making me even more disgusted of myself, I wanted him to touch me, and I hated myself for it.

"Hey you! Stay the fuck away from her! I'm calling the fucking cops right now!"

He was still smirking when I heard a hard angry voice cut through the people passing, making both me and Jonah look up confused and him slightly scared for a second and taking off, leaving me standing there shaking, not knowing what to do anymore when my eyes was following him walking away fast, my heart and soul that hated me.