Divorced, But Not Broken
Divorced, but Not broken Chapter 83

I was walking inside the butchery that was quite busy seeing Tom behind the counter, he had on a t-shirt and an apron, making every girl and woman inside just gawk at his big arms that made me smirk, because I knew that he loved that, every second of being

watched just flexing around and being flirty, he was just like that, fun and playful.

I took a number seeing that he was busy helping an older lady, taking his time and he didn't mind that she was touching his arm and just made a big smile at her when she was paying. I swear that the old woman was blushing when she walked out from the shop making me smirk more, he was so great, a real nice guy. When he didn't make people bleed.

"Hi Tom." He was lighting up when it was my turn and I know that he didn't recognise me, not right away. I did look different I had started to realise, not only my hair and weight. I had my nails painted and I just took better care since Jonah. I didn't even know why; I didn't want to think it was because I didn't want people to see how broken I was but that was probably closer to the truth then I wanted to be comfortable with.

"Pretty?! Holy f**k!" He made a deep chuckle and walked around the counter and just hoisted me up, making every woman inside the store just frown at me, jealous bitches, he was my friend, and I missed him.

He was making it harder to breathe when I made a slight cough and he let me go, still smiling like crazy again seeing me, like we hadn't spoken for years and not six months.

"It's really you, look at you! omg I need to call you something else these days, you are still pretty but...." He made a smirk that I just rolled my eyes at, yes, most men did appreciate the way I looked these days, especially guys like him, eager and flirty. "Yeah, I know.... I don't look like I did...." I didn't mean to sound sad when he lost his smirk catching my sadness and just dropped his arms that he had crossed checking me out, oh he did, he still was Jonah's friend and mine, but he did.

"Ma! I'm taking my break, come and take over!" He was yelling to the back when a woman that was shorter and had the same light brown hair colour as Tom came outside and made frown like she taught he was going off and f**k me instead of working. "Tomas, you better think with more then just the other head. You are just like your father...." She made a complaining noise when he just smiled back at her charmingly, like he knew that and just made her do a small smirk back when he to my surprise pulled me closer to her and I just stared at the woman that was scrutinizing me, from head to toe, seeing that she thought that I was going to do something with her son, shit.

"Ma, this is Andrea, she is Jonah's girl... or she was..." He stopped and I felt sick when her eyes shifted from annoyed to feeling sorry for me. what the hell, did every person in the world know about Jonah and his addiction when I didn't?!

"I see... she didn't say more before she reached out her hand and I took it out of pure shock, expecting her to start chewing me out about what happened, me being older, all that shit....

"Hello...." I tried to sound nice, and why the fuck did I want her to like me? she was not Jonah's mother, that clearly hated me with all her might.

"I'm Mary, and yeah I know about what happened, and I'm sorry." She patted my hand and I looked at Tom in panic, he just smirked back when I remembered he said that his parents where nice people, maybe he wasn't lying about that part.

"Jonah... oh he is such a stupid boy, look at you, gorgeous and if Tomas likes you, then you are a nice girl." She looked prod at him making him even taller. I was smiling at them, it was adorable. seeing a parent that was proud of their child, no matter if they made mistakes or not. I was complete and utter jealous.

"Thanks..." I didn't want to say something, but it would be awkward if I just was mute, I had been that enough time of my life.

She made a sigh, a big one and just watched me when she looked over the store, there was three more people here and she pointed to the back making me confused when Tom just grinned more as he steered me back there, having no chance in hell of escaping even if I wanted to feel his hand on my back, giving me a encouraging push.

It was colder in here, when the loss of body heat and sunlight disappeared, and I saw the big freezer and cold storage that explained why I was freezing my ass off even with my coat on.

He pointed to a staircase, and I just started to walk upward, replaceing a door and walking inside, seeing the big apartment that was upstairs on the shop, I mean it, freaking huge compared to mine I had next to Jonah's, they must make serious money to afford this, or did they own the whole freaking building?

"Holy shit... Tom... this is great!" I made a small giggle just walking around even if I didn't know if I was allowed to or not, I just wanted to look around seeing that it was beautiful in here, not modern but classic, I liked that, I really did.

"Yapp, my great-grandparents started this shop and made good money during their time, bought the building for far less what its worth today...." He was proud, standing tall and just letting me walk around. I smiled big at him, well he should be, his grandparents were smart for doing that, I wish I was half a smart as that.

"That's so awesome, good for them, and for you!" I turned around when he was still smirking and walked up, helping me take my coat off seeing that it wasn't cold up here, nope it was warm and cosy, like there was separate worlds that was in the same house.

He showed me into this big living room area, it was pleasant and still looked like it could host any party, I was confused, why the fuck did Tom spend all his time at Jonah's apartment when he could be here? I know that If I lived here, I never leave. "Yeah... yeah..." he just said that, and I sat down when he nodded to the sofa and I crossed my legs, sitting in the pencil skirt I had on. it was lunchtime and I had spent my break on replaceing Tom, but honestly, I was already done. Angela only had four clients and I had been working late yesterday on purpose, making me be able to replace my friend.

"You really look different pretty...." He made a small chuckle leaned back making me smile at him when I knew that too since everyone keep telling me that.

"Yes, half a year on a Caribbean Island will do that to you..." My smiles disappeared and he just looked as lost as me right now, I just wanted answers. what the f**k had Jonah been up to and how the hell did he know that I got back so fast?

"He knows I'm here Tom." He looked up surprised for one second before he got this look over his face that he should have known that Jonah would pull that shit.

"So, I guess he already have been talking to you then?" he seemed slightly pissed making me frown, what did that matter? He was my boyfriend.... Or he was.... F**k.... I just wanted him to be like he was in the beginning, sweet and kind, still a bastard but not acting so f*****g awful against me.

"Yeah.... I saw him, he followed me, right from the airport...." I fell down with my head when he just looked like he had enough of me and Jonah's shit, always making other people's life more difficult, not just our own one.

"Fuck! He just can't stay the fuck away from you, can't he?!" He seemed more upset, and I started to regret coming here, I should have known that Tom would be on Jonah's side, he was the one that told me to f*****g go, leave Jonah and I believed him that it was the right decision.

"You know what? Maybe this was a mistake, coming here and making you leave your work and make your mother upset..." I was already up from the sofa when he made a frown and made a gesture of his hand to sit my ass down again and I obeyed. "No, no its not like that.... Andrea... I'm not mad that you are here, I told you that I like you, and you make Jonah better... I'm just thinking about your safety...." He looked guilty now making me stop breathing, my nails clawing into the plush sofa's fabric, whatever he was telling me, I was not going to like it.

"What?! You fucking tell me already, what happened to Jonah?!" I was leaning forward, pissed already when he made a deep sigh, falling with his big body back and just looking defeated at me making me even more nervous.

"He got worse." He just said that making me feel the anger giving into my body, he fucking what!? I was standing up already, looking accusing at him, he told me he could f*****g handle it and now, Jonah was even worse?!

"HOW!?" I was demanding answers now, not even caring if his mother heard me when he just fiddles with his hands, that big stupid bastard! I had trusted him when he told me that me leaving Jonah was the best decision, clearly it wasn't!

"He just stopped talking, to me, to Joey. Everyone." He looked just as powerless I felt sitting down on my ass again, just feeling numb. he stopped talking to his best friends, and he felt like he was all alone in the world.... he was right, I had betrayed him, not the other way around.

"He told me that I betrayed him Tom.... fuck.... fuck... I did.... I fucking did...." I was having my hands over my face, rocking slightly back and forth, trying to handle the overload of emotions that was all over me, just drowning me in shame and frustration over what had happened. I wished that I could have gotten a time machine and just stayed, like I wanted too.

"Andrea, no... no don't say that... he still did the fucking shit, and he was going to drag you down along with him... fuck you were always bruised in some way when I saw you, that was fucking hard because he is my bro, we known each other are whole life and... " he stopped and swallowed, he was sorry for what happened and I just gave into the crying, fuck my makeup and people seeing it, I was trying so hard to get on with my life when in reality, I didn't want that. I just wanted him back, my Jonah.

"He was just not being himself anymore, he was always a bossy fucker, but he never snapped like he did the last months before you left, almost killing Brandon, I'm serious Andrea. I was the one that dropped him off at the hospital, if I had just left him there, Jonah would have f*****g killed him, over some shit that didn't matter, He was a nice guy you know, just didn't know when to f*****g shut the hell up.... And that's on me. me Andrea...." He was making a hurt face that made me sick.... I didn't realise that... he was suffering too, over what happened, I just never thought about it, seeing that he always was so fucking cheerful when he saw me.

"Fuck." He made a hurt smile that he got what I was saying, fuck everything right now.

"Yeah..... fuck......." he was looking down, looking nothing like the guy that called me pretty and just was this nice guy that was happy all the time, and was the best friend of Jonah.

We didn't say anything more. It was hard, it really was knowing that he had lost him too, not just me, Jonah had pushed everyone away, even the people that cared for him.

"He told me that he was clean..." I looked at my hands when Tom scoffed like it was the stupidest thing he had ever heard, I looked up annoyed, it could be true, couldn't it?

"How? He only has me and Joey that's not some fucking junkie, who the hell has made him stop taking that shit?" he was looking at me like I knew, he was angry, and I just shook my head, I didn't know, I really didn't.

"Maybe he made it on his own?" I know that it was stupid as soon as I said it, I got it. that it was fucking hard kicking an addiction, just look at me, fucking stress eating before and not being able to control it, I was in no position to point fingers at anyone. Tom just looked at me and made a sigh like he wanted to believe that too but just couldn't.

"Maybe.... He is a stubborn fucker, that's for sure...." He seemed lost for a second and just staring into space, like he was remembering something because he had a faint smile on his lips now.

"He told me you know, that he loved you. Almost made me choke on the energy drink I was having." He smirks when I started to smile at once, I loved that about Tom, he always knew how to make me feel better when everything was shitty.

"Right about after I talked to you, when he just broke down and finally just gave in, that wasn't f*****g easy for him you know pretty, he has some serious shit bottled up, more then what he lets on."

I didn't know what to say to that, but I had started to get that. Jonah was definitely keeping me out of the loop of lots of things, not just him having a drug addiction.

"I know.... I just want him back..... Is that so bad?" I looked at him when he made a face like he didn't get me being so goddam naïve when I was older, but I was. Me loving Jonah was never going to change.

"Well.... let's just take one fucking step at the time, he still doesn't speak to me or joe so just if he comes back, call me, I know he loves you, but I don't trust him Andrea, and you shouldn't either." He got up when I followed and just nodded sad. Yeah, he was probably right, about Jonah, that he was still using, he did look like shit when I saw him.

He walked me back to the shop and held the door for me, a big smile on his face that I didn't know was for me or the customers, but it was nice seeing a friendly face, it really was.

"See you around then?" I made a smirk when he just nodded, he was going to keep tabs on me and I already knew it, no matter if Jonah asked him or not, he was just a good friend like that.

"Yeah, lets go get some food, I bring the trench coat. he misses you too." I jus made a roll with my eyes, sure he did.

"Just snap me, I'm working over at a small law firm, over on Main Street." He raised his eyebrows that he didn't expect that making me feel even better, that I did something more then just pine over my stupid ex-boyfriend.

"That's great pretty, I knew you were smart, I like that about you." He winked when I giggled and just waved goodbye when he shut the door and I started to walk out on the busy street feeling good for the first time in months.