Down End Road
Chapter 49

Denial.

I spent my days in denial. Wallowing deeper down the rabbit whole of confusion. It had been two weeks since I read the journal. I knew the truth.

So why wasn't I happy?

My nightmares had gotten worse. They were different and new and utterly twisted. Every. Single. Time. Sometimes, I woke up just before the worst of it, other times I didn't.

I was less keen to see others now. Less inclined to have any social interaction. I was QUIET. Not a single day in my entire life had I been quiet. I didn't raise my hand in class, didn't start conversations during the duration of lessons. The only time I felt remotely normal is when I was with Alex. Even Ally couldn't get me out of my newly found shell.

Every time I looked in the mirror my haggard appearance stared back at me. Ocean blue eyes dulled to a misty Saphire. Curls dry and frizzy. Face pale and wan. The purply-blue bags under my eyes didn't help either.

Turns out sleep is vital to your health, and I will never take a good nights rest for granted ever again. I thought, as I stared in the mirror of the girls bathroom.

Whispers wafted through the air, as I turned to dry my hands. They only increased when my back was fully turned. "Isn't that monster girl." One girl said in a hushed voice.

"I heard she goes out every night and... talks to them. Like a psycho." Another voice said.

"Look at her, she looks like she's dying or something. So sad she looked pretty awesome when she first showed up." That was my breaking point.

"Two things-" I began. The click of stilleto heels on white tile floor shut me up. I turned to the door and saw Heidi walking toward us from the other end of the bathroom. Her other half absent.

"Listen up wannabe Regina George's. This girl here, single-handedly beat our opponents in a blind folded hand to hand combat on her first year of training, during the annual games. Not to mention she tied with the Alexander Griffin during her first fencing lesson at Hamilton. Now I don't know about you Sophmores but when you were freshers I didn't see you running around, kicking butt like Myra. So back off." Heidi defended.

I kept my mouth tightly shut -even though it was about to fall off it's hinges- and stared at her in wonder. I couldn't believe she was sticking up for me. She flipped her dirty blonde hair over one shoulder before waving a dismissive hand toward the girls cowering behind each other.

"Now run-along and start telling people to quit that Washington awful nick-name. It is very unoriginal." Heidi shooed the girls away, and they practically ran out of the bathroom. Pink skater skirts flying around them.

"Thanks." I say, beyond stunned.

"Anytime, any girl who decided to wear matching colours with her friends is automatically on my hit list" She joked. I mustered a weak smile as I forcibly laughed at her joke, my heart not feeling it.

"Look Myra, about what happened in the woods." I prepared myself for an oncoming onslaught of questions and accusations just like every other time I was without Alex as my shield. He would glare at every person who would ask about me.

"It's not my business, it's yours and I know people forget that sometimes. I just wanted to let you know, you did great, even if it took an utterly strange turn of events." She said. I looked up at her with grateful eyes.

I bit my lip before giving her a hug. I felt tears prick my eyes but let out a shaky sigh instead. Heidi stood completely still, before she snaked her arms around me, awkwardly patting my back.

"Thank you." I whispered into the shoulder of her nice blazer.

"Anytime. But I will make one suggestion, go see your parents on Saturday, they're doing parents day here then and I think it would do you good to see them." She suggested, with a shrug of her shoulders. A knowing smile crawled to her face as she bit her lip. "Maybe you could introduce Alex to your parents."

I laughed at the idea of Alex, a six foot something boy, with hands probably twice the size of mine, sitting next to my five foot something mother and making small talk with my gruff father. The idea startled me but at the same time, gave me a glimpse of a future I wanted. "That's not a half bad idea." I said.

"I don't know whats going on Myra. But I do know Alex is outside that Bathroom entrance, patiently waiting for an explanation." She gave me a sympathetic smile. "Might be a good idea to talk with him." Heidi unraveled another sage piece of advice.

I gave her another tight squeeze before trepidatiously walking out of the bathroom. I rung my hands together when I saw Alex leaned against the adjacent wall.

I walked over to him and jutted my head for him to follow me. He fell into step beside me, the silence that engulfed us less comfortable than our others.

We walked to our training spot in the woods, the somber disquiet still hanging around us. I sat down on a gnarled tree root while Alex plopped down on a hollowed out log. I opened my mouth to say something -an explanation perhaps- but no sound came out.

I took a deep breath and relaxed, my blue eyes focused on his chocolate ones. "I get that, I've been acting weird lately," I began. "And I want you to know that it's not your fault... or anyone else who is currently alive's fault." I clarified cryptically. Alex's brows knit together in confusion but I cut him off before he could say anything.

"I read the journal. I read it. All of it. I learned a lot. And now I'm scared. And Mildly confused, but can see things more clearly." My chest started to heave as my explanation began to unfurl. "I keep having these nightmares about the shifters. All I can think about is how everything is starting to crumble." I continued.

"I'm trying, I am trying really hard to keep it together, but I haven't slept for more than half an hour -in peace- in two weeks. I feel like the whole of the society is built on lies. In history class I asked about the order of Adams and why it was shut down and they said it was because John Adams had been conspiring with the British monarch. But when I read the journal belonging to him, he said he didn't.

"It said that the portal was full of dragons. That his wife was like the queen. How the portals would almost obey her and how every fantastical creature saw her as their leader. She would get these episodes where her eyes glowed and she would go completely crazy and try to kill anyone who posed a mild threat. She had nightmares and was always on edge." I said, no longer able to continue with the tears pricking my eyes.

Alex contemplated my rant in silence, his eyes unfocused as the thoughts race through his head. His mouth was set in a firm line, a tense bunch in his shoulders.

"Myra... It's just a book, it might not even be historically accurate. We haven't been able to replace John Adams' journal." Alex explained, his revered silent stare broken. I felt tears spill down my cheeks as I shook my head.

"I don't think that's true. I think something is happening, and I think it has something to do with the order of Adam's and it's legacy bloodline." I stated. my fearful tears cascading down my pink cheeks.