Listen to the whispers of your soul now,

no matter how quietly they’re sung,

so you don’t have to hear them scream later.

—Addie’s Secret Thoughts

I wake up in the middle of the night, alone on the couch, tucked under a blanket I know wasn’t on me when we turned on Leo’s favorite Christmas movie. The television has been turned off, the only glow coming from the warm white lights of the tree, and Leo is nowhere to be seen. If his sneakers weren’t kicked off next to the couch, and his ring wasn’t on my finger, I may have thought I dreamed him up, but I didn’t.

He’s real, and he’s here, somewhere.

And for as long as this thing between us lasts, I’m pretty sure he’s mine.

My husband . . .

If only that thought didn’t scare the shit out of me.

After a quick sweep of the first floor, I hear the distinct creak of hardwood that comes from Lennox’s room and make my way upstairs, not at all surprised to replace Leo standing in front of my baby’s big window seat, overlooking the lake behind us. The ethereal glow of the moon bouncing off the ice and snow outside bathes him in a beautiful glow, as he sings what sounds like a softer, slower version of the world’s most inappropriate Christmas song.

When I snicker, he turns to face me, red cheeks and all.

He’s embarrassed.

Maybe he’s human after all.

“I keep replaceing you holding my baby.” I force my voice to sound stronger than I feel.

His big hand takes up her entire back, and he holds her so delicately as she sleeps snugly against his chest, and I swear something in mine cracks.

“Sorry,” he starts. “I heard her and didn’t want her to wake you up.”

“Leo . . .” I step into the room and move in front of him. I let my eyes trail over this man I’m going to marry in a few hours and want to know everything there is to know about him. “Where’s your favorite place in the world?”

“My parents’ beach house,” he answers without skipping a beat. “Every year, our entire family goes down for a week in July. After hockey season ends and right before football preseason starts.” The smile on his face while he thinks about it is enough to make me warm from its presence alone. “My entire family. Aunts. Uncles. Siblings. In-laws. Nieces and nephews and cousins. It’s chaos and laughter and arguing. It’s my parents’ generation trying to sneak around to get laid without getting caught, which is always funny because we get to torture whoever catches them. Cooking and surfing and playing in the sand.”

He brushes his lips over Lennox’s head and so incredibly carefully lays her down in her crib. “I can’t wait to take you and the girls there this summer.”

Holy shit.

My heart stops beating.

And before I can say anything at all, he’s got my hand in his. “I can hear you thinking, Addie. We’re going to be together next summer.”

I push down the nerves and try to quiet my fears. “How can you be so sure, Sinclair?”

“Looks like you’re gonna have to trust me.”

“Yeah . . . I’m going to try.” I lace my fingers through his hand and try to act like the thought of trusting him isn’t so scary. “Will you come to bed with me for a few hours? Just sleep,” I add before I chicken out.

“Yeah.” He squeezes my hand. “Sleep. We’ve got a big day.”

Understatement of the century.


Are you sure we shouldn’t go back and get⁠—”

Leo cuts me off with a squeeze of my hand in his. Thankfully, he hasn’t let go the entire drive to his parents’ house. Meanwhile, my nerves have been dialed up to ten as I listen to Izzy excitedly chatter on about how Leo and I getting married is the coolest thing ever because now Molly and she are cousins. If I ever do anything right in my life, it will be protecting these kids and keeping that innocence alive.

When we sat Izzy on the couch and told her we were all going to the courthouse and getting married, my sweet, caring, smart little girl looked at Leo and me and asked if he was going to live with us.

Leo squatted down in front of her and asked if that would be okay, and what did my girl do? I was scared she’d ask something about that making him her daddy, which thankfully, she did not. No . . . she asked if he knew how to make pancakes. That was it.

She’s more excited to see Molly tonight than she was to go with us this morning.

Me, on the other hand, I feel like I’m about to walk the green mile.

Marrying the man was the easy part. Say the words. Sign the paper and kiss the man. That may have been my favorite part because when Leo kisses me, the noise in my head quiets. Nothing has ever done that for me before.

But now, we’re parking in front of a beautiful house, lined with twinkly white lights and tons of cars, and Leo’s entire family is inside. Well, not entire, entire. Because apparently, that will happen later. This is just his immediate family, which counting us, should be somewhere around twenty people.

No pressure.

My car door opens, and Leo reaches across and unbuckles my belt, then pulls me out of the car and shuts the door. “Addie . . .”

“What are you doing?” I ask, too stunned by his actions to ask anything else.

He wraps his hands around my face, the way I’m realizing he likes to do. “I’m relaxing my wife.”

Leo’s lips cover mine, stealing the breath from my lungs as his hands grip my hips, and his body presses mine against the cool car. All his hard planes and solid muscle make me feel small and delicate.

I anchor myself with the collar of his wool peacoat and hold him to me. Loving the feel of him. His erection presses against my stomach, and a moan slips past my lips, leaving Leo an opening to push his tongue into my mouth.

And my God, my entire body wakes up for the first time in years.

Years.

Leo’s hands slip down to my ass and squeeze, and fuck, I don’t want him to stop.

I whimper when he pulls his face back. “Don’t worry, wife. We can pick this up later. Now let’s get the kids and get inside before it starts snowing again.”

“Leo.” I glare. “What the hell . . . ?”

“Are you less nervous than you were before?”

“I can’t even think straight now,” I whisper back, and the wicked grin he gives me is infuriating.

“Oh, baby, just wait until I put my mouth everywhere else,” he whispers his promise, then kisses my forehead and leans in the car and unbuckles Lennox from her car seat. “You ready, ladies?”

“Ready,” Izzy answers.

“Addie . . .” He nudges me as he stands back up.

“That was mean, Leo.” I keep it quiet, so Izzy doesn’t hear me.

His lips pull into a wolfish grin, and my belly quivers. “I’ll be really, really nice when I make it up to you later, wife.”

Damn, I like the sound of that.


Leo

My little distraction may have been for Adelaide, but it worked for me too. A little too well, considering I’m walking into my parents’ house with my new wife and a raging hard-on. Fantastic.

I hadn’t planned to let it go that far, but she felt so fucking good under my hands.

My fucking wife.

Yeah. I like that.

Laughter and conversation are loud as we walk inside, and I hang up our coats.

“Leo . . . it looks like a Christmas movie in here,” Izzy announces in awe.

“Yeah, short stack, it kinda does. My mom’s favorite holiday is Christmas, so she goes a little overboard.”

“I do not,” Mom argues as she walks in and smiles at Addie and the girls. “Don’t you look pretty,” she tells Izzy, who grabs her mother’s hand. She’s a little shy with new people, I guess.

Mom’s eyes follow Izzy’s hand, and I know the second she sees the engagement ring and the matching diamond band on Addie’s finger because they dart to my hand, then up to my face. “Well, Leo. It looks like you’ve had an exciting Christmas.”

She throws an arm around my shoulder and kisses my cheek. “You have some explaining to do,” she whispers harshly before she hugs Addie. “It’s so nice to meet you.”

Well, this is going great already.

“Addie, this is my mom, Annabelle.” I press my hand against Addie’s back. “Mom, this is Adelaide James.”

My mom waits with knowing eyes.

She wants me to say it.

She already knows. She’s smarter than all of us, and I guess any hope I had of telling everyone together just went to hell.

Fuck it.

“My wife.”

Mom’s smile is slow and measured and fake as shit.

She looks between the two of us as my Uncle Tommy walks into the room. “Leo, you’re here. Everyone’s been waiting.” He looks at the girls, and his smile is real when he grins. Uncle Tommy has autism. Mom and Dad have been his guardians since Mom’s parents died when they were kids. I talked to Izzy and Addie about him on the way over. He’s the sweetest, most innocent nearly forty-year-old you’ll ever meet. “Who are you?” he asks the girls, and Izzy sticks her hand out like a little businesswoman.

“I’m Izzy James. Nice to meet you.”

She wants to shake his hand, but Uncle Tommy takes her small hand in his bigger one and pulls her with him to the family room. “Come on, Izzy. There’s presents and cookies, and all the kids are back here.”

Izzy looks over her shoulder at us and smiles, then asks him, “Is Molly back there?”

Addie looks nervous as Izzy disappears out of sight and adjusts Lennox, while Mom stands staring, no doubt still in shock.

“Come on, Mom. We might as well get this over with once instead of ten times.”

The hurt in her eyes upsets me, but I know she’d understand if she knew the truth of it all.

“Wait—Leo . . .”

I stop and wait because when Annabelle Sinclair speaks, you listen.

Her watery green eyes dance from me to Addie and Lennox. “Are you happy?”

“Mom . . . We just wanted to get married. We didn’t want to wait. We didn’t want some big thing. Just us and the kids.” I wrap my arm tightly around Addie’s waist and hold her close. “We’re happy.”

After a long, uncomfortable minute, my mother sighs and cups my cheek. “You always were my most impulsive child. You lead with your heart and leap before you look.”

“Mom—”

“Let me finish.” She drops her hand and wraps her arm around Addie. “But you know your heart better than any of my children. You always have. Welcome to the family, Addie. Buckle up. We’re a loud, opinionated group.”

“Emphasis on loud,” I mutter.

“Pot meet kettle,” Mom snarks, and I can’t even argue. “You two getting married is going to shock everyone, but your father and I had only been dating for two months when we got married. Thirty years later, and I couldn’t imagine my life without him or you kids. Maybe we could do lunch one day, so you and I could get to know each other.”

“I’d like that a lot,” Addie says softly and nervously runs her hand over a sleeping Lennox’s back.

“Maybe we could include your parents as well,” Mom adds, and I cringe.

Addie stiffens next to me. “My parents are both dead.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry. I know what that’s like.” Mom takes Addie from me and walks into the family room with her and Lennox, like I’m not even here.

Everyone quiets as she walks ahead of me, and Mom raises her wine glass. “Now that everyone’s here, I think Leo has an announcement he’d like to make.”

She turns back, and the look on her face leaves little doubt she’s pissed at me for eloping, but the way she stands next to Addie is just as strong a show of support.

I guess I’ll take it.

I don’t have much of a choice.

“I’d like to introduce you all to Adelaide . . . my wife.”


Snow falls outside as we huddle under the roof of the back porch while Cross passes out cigars to Ares, Nixon, and me.

“You know he got married. He didn’t have a kid, right?” Ares laughs at Cross as he lights his cigar.

“Yeah well, Everly didn’t want to tell everyone she was pregnant tonight. She was dreading it. Just didn’t want to be the center of attention. Her hormones are all over the place, and she was crying half the day about it. This dumbass getting married and not including the family sure as shit worked out for me. Now she’s pissed at him instead of at me for knocking her up. Her words, not mine.”

“Didn’t you have a vasectomy?” I ask, shuddering at the thought.

“They’re not always effective,” he groans.

“Yeah,” Ares laughs. “Make sure to wrap that shit up. You Sinclairs are fertile fuckers.”

Nix and I gag.

“Dude. Sisters. Don’t fucking go there,” I groan.

“Can’t believe you got married without telling any of us.” Nix takes a drag of his cigar, then blows on the cherry, circling the conversation back to me.

Thanks, asshole.

“Leave your brother alone,” Dad announces as he joins us outside. He takes the cigar from Nixon and glares at the guys. “Your women are looking for you.”

They all leave me like scared little shits.

Dicks.

“Just getting a Christmas present, huh?” he asks, and I nod. “When I said get her something nice, I didn’t mean engagement ring nice, Leo.”

Some guys grow up hating their dads.

They’re never there for them, or they try to relive their youth through their kids. They’re abusive or absent or just utter assholes. You pick it, there’s a million reasons to hate your dad as a man. And a fuck-ton of the guys I know have ’em.

They didn’t grow up like I did.

Loved. Supported. Safe. Encouraged.

And by the greatest man to ever wear a football jersey and set foot on a field.

You’d think a guy like Declan Sinclair would be a hard-ass who’d force his boys into playing football. But he didn’t. Yeah, we all tried it. But once Nixon picked up his first pair of hockey skates, Hendrix and I followed, and we never looked back. It was all we saw. And Dad showed up to every game he could. If he was in the state, he was there in the stands, cheering us on. Early morning rink time—no problem, he was driving us. We wanted to get better, so he built us a rink in a pole barn at the back of the property so we could practice year-round.

He’s always been the GOAT, and I’ve never wanted to disappoint him.

Nix used to worry about living up to him.

I only ever gave a shit about earning his respect.

And right now . . . I’m pretty sure I’ve lost it.

He puts out Nix’s cigar on the stone, then takes mine and does the same. “Those things will kill you.”

“Yeah . . . I guess.”

“You made your mother cry.” Yeah . . . he never raises his voice either.

“Sorry. I wasn’t trying to hurt her,” I offer, not sure what he wants to hear.

“Always so impulsive, Leo.”

“It wasn’t impulse, Dad. Mom wasn’t my first priority. Addie was . . . is. And she didn’t want a whole big thing. Her parents are dead. She has one sister, and that’s it. No other family. All of this makes her uncomfortable. So, I’m sorry I upset Mom. But I did it for my wife. And you always made sure we knew Mom was our mother, but she was your wife, and wife trumps everything else.” Part of me wonders if I should feel like a fraud saying this, but I squash that part like a fucking bug because Addie’s worth it.

“And the student becomes the teacher. Touché, kid.” He leans back against the paver wall and crosses his arms over his chest as he looks out at the snow. “So, this is the real deal?”

“As real as it gets,” I tell him and look through the glass at the woman inside talking to my sisters. “She’s it. I knew it the minute I met her.”

“Yeah . . . that’s how it happens.” He pushes off the wall and moves in front of me. “Can I give you a piece of advice?”

“Always.”

“Talk to her. When you think you’ve talked enough, talk more. You travel half the damn year for work. Build the basis for that solid relationship because that’s what’s going to keep you solid. And show her how you feel every day. Never make her question it. Make sure she knows.”

“That why you and Mom have always been so solid?” I clap him on the back as we walk to the back door.

Dad stops and looks at me before he grabs the door. “That and a lot of sex.”

“Fucking gross. Jesus Christ. What the hell is wrong with you?” I yell, fucking disgusted, wishing I could unhear his words as he laughs.

“Don’t ask if you don’t want the answer.”

Well shit. I didn’t want that answer.

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