Eros (Contemporary Mythos Book 4)
Eros: Chapter 19

I tried several times to fall asleep through the night but didn’t want to miss a single moment of the living fantasy Eros built for us. Every time I’d open my eyes, he’d look at me with a smile. Did gods need sleep?

“Tell me a story,” I cooed, curling against his side.

We lay naked by the fire, surrounded by a wide assortment of fluffy pillows conjured by Eros from thin air. He trailed his finger down my arm, following the “S” curve of my waist and hip.

“What kind of a story?”

I bunched a pillow under my chin, beaming up at him. “You, silly. I’m sure you have dozens of them.”

“I’ll be brutally honest with you, Elani. I wasn’t always like this.” His gaze moved to my shoulder as he drew lazy circles on it with his finger.

“You’ve not always been conceited, over-confident, and amazing in bed?” I bit into my smile.

He nudged my arm with a playful grin. “You haven’t seemed to mind any of those things.”

“What were you like?” I trailed my fingers through his chest hair.

“I used to toy with people. And could be easily persuaded by other gods to carry out—ridiculous requests.”

“Such as?”

“Are you familiar with Jason and the Golden Fleece?”

Intrigue bubbled through me, and I sat up, resting the pillow in my lap and scooting closer to him. “Yes.”

“The only reason Medea fell in love with Jason in the first place was that Hera commanded it. I’m indirectly the cause behind so many deaths.” His jaw tightened, and he couldn’t meet my gaze.

“What do you mean?” I rested a hand on his knee.

He turned his attention to the fire. The flames danced in his eyes, turning their blue color muddy. “My spell didn’t work properly. They were supposed to be together until the end, but Jason left her for a king’s daughter.”

I cocked my head, watching Eros’s features harden, a scowl forming in his brow.

“Medea killed the daughter, the king, and all of the children she had with Jason.” His eyes lifted to me with such anguish flickering in them. “Because of me.”

Lifting to my knees, I pressed a palm to his cheek. “You can’t blame yourself for that. You know as well as I do, the gods’ interference only goes so far. We are humans with free will. At some point, we make the decisions. We choose our path.”

His face brightened. “Spoken like a true goddess.”

Soulmate. He’d called me his soulmate.

Clearing my throat, I sat on my heels and wrapped my arms around his knee, resting my chin atop it. “The important thing is, you no longer carry out petty gods’ requests and now make people genuinely fall in love.”

His lips brushed my cheekbone. “Very true. Still doesn’t mean I don’t regret past actions.”

“Don’t we all?”

“Oh? What’s something you regret?” He gave my mouth a peck.

It alarmed me how easy the question was to answer.

“When my parents divorced, it drove this huge wedge between my sister and me. We’d already had it rough given our ten-year age difference, but it made it worse.”

He stroked my hair, letting strands fall through his fingers.

“I should’ve made a better effort to stay close to her, and then I moved to Canada for my business. She tries to see me all the time, and I’m always busy with this or that. Always making excuses.”

“It’s never too late to reignite a relationship, Elani. Never.”

I offered a warm smile and moved myself to his lap, straddling him. “I don’t want this night to end.”

The calluses on his fingertips made light scrapes up my spine. “It doesn’t have to, you know. You could have this forever.”

By becoming an immortal goddess.

My body stiffened, and I pressed my forehead against his to avoid him seeing the fear flushing my face. “Is it true?”

He tilted his chin up to kiss the tip of my nose. “Is what true?”

“We’re—soulmates?”

With gentle care, he pushed me back, willing me to look at him. “Yes.”

Tremors pulsed over my shoulders and moved into my arms. “But how do you know? How long have you known?”

He kept his touch fleeting but firm, not moving a muscle as if he knew one false move would send me spiraling. “I could tell you anyone’s soulmate. My own, however, hasn’t always been so easy. The universe conjured my fate the moment Aphrodite gave birth to me. I’ve known what it was to be and when I accidentally inhaled the vapors from my mother’s potion…I thought Psyche was that fate.” He circled my elbow with his thumb. “But I’m not wrong about you. As soon as you walked into my bar, I knew in my soul you were it, but fear crippled my power. The entire reason I made that bet, Elani, was to have the chance to spend more time with you. I never intended on actually messing with your code. I just knew you’d hate the very idea of it—knew you’d agree to the bet to prove a point.”

My eyes rapidly blinked.

“And I’ve known with absolute certainty right before you left the bar to go to the MMA fight with Graeme.”

I remembered that night. He’d looked at me with a flash of surprise and gone quiet—highly uncharacteristic of him.

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“You didn’t know I was a god then, nor were you even close to believing in such a concept.”

I pressed my elbows into my sides, sinking to the floor. “I—I need some fresh air.”

“Hey.” He curled a finger under my chin. “Just because we are what we are to each other doesn’t mean I have some sort of claim over you.”

I nodded and rose to my feet, wrapping my arms around my trembling limbs.

Eros frowned but quickly replaced it with a neutral expression as he stood.

“If you’re pulling away because of what we are, I’m pleading with you—don’t. You were so close to replaceing yourself again, Lani. No one is asking you to do anything. Free yourself first and see where the pieces settle.” He touched my arm, making my clothes appear as well as his own.

“I’m sorry.” I held my head low.

He kissed my forehead. “You have nothing to be sorry about. I just don’t want to see you getting lost in your own head again.” He held out his hand with a weakened smile. “Let’s go somewhere. Anywhere you want.”

I slipped my hand into his. “Take me to Arthur’s Seat?”

As I lay cradled in Eros’s arms for the second time as he flew us across the Scottish sky, I closed my eyes and kept my ear nuzzled under his chin. Concentrating on the steady sound of his breathing, the occasional flap of his wings, and the current passing over us, I let myself relax. I’d hurt him with my sudden change in demeanor, letting the thought of having a soulmate—a true soulmate, paralyze me with fear.

“We’re here,” he whispered against my temple, placing a feather-light kiss on my head.

He lowered us to the grass, keeping me in his lap as we gazed over the cliff’s edge. The sun partially peeked from the horizon, and my heart thrummed in anticipation, knowing the light show from this view would be majestic. It’d been ages since the volcano nestled beneath us erupted and had since gone extinct, but envisioning the molten lava claiming the hills as it flowed seemed so catastrophic yet beautiful in its own right.

As patient as he’d been since the day we met, Eros kept quiet, not pressuring me to talk about any of it. He curled his arms around me, gently rocking us back and forth, and we sat in silence, peering at the sun slowly ascending. As the orange rays spilled over the nestled buildings of Edinburgh, I pushed further against Eros’s chest.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered, trying desperately to keep my voice from cracking.

“You have nothing—”

I pressed a finger to his lips, silencing him and sending a tingle down my arm. Pushing the thoughts of those same lips between my legs away, I took a deep breath. “You asked me to tell you how I felt when you first kissed me. I think I can now.”

His thumb dragged down the inside of my arm.

“It started as physical. Weightless. At a loss of breath. But then—”

The sun halfway greeted us, casting shadows within the darkened alleys between buildings, painting the sky with a swirl of yellow and purple.

“I was home. It didn’t make sense at the time, and it probably wouldn’t have even if I’d known you were a god. But as you kissed me, everything I’d been compelled to do, everything I’d feared to explore—for that brief moment…settled and floated away.”

He cupped one side of my face. “And you know deep down what that all means, Elani.”

Love.

My throat numbed.

“You’re going to hate me.”

He hugged me tighter. “Not possible.”

“I don’t know if I can do this, Eros. It’s all so much. A destiny? You say I’m part of yours, but what if—what if I don’t go through with this?”

He turned me in his lap to face him, the colors streaking the sky above us, making his eyes gleam. “Destiny is destiny, but it isn’t finality. It’s seen as an irresistible force, but you wouldn’t be the first to resist its pull.”

The crinkle that formed between his eyes felt like a knife twisting in my gut.

“I need time.”

He kissed my forehead with a light sigh. “And you’ll have it. Take it all, Elani.”

As the wind carried the faint sound of bagpipes over the mossy cliff, we sat in silence for the rest of the sunrise. I imagined we were simply two humans who’d met in a bar, accidentally falling head over heels for each other.

Flora hugged me tightly against her chest. “It’s always so nice to see ye and worse to see ye go, Lani girl.”

“I’d like to come back more often. This trip has been especially enlightening.” As we continued to hug, I peered over her shoulder at Eros standing outside with his hands in his pockets.

“You give your da a big kiss for me, aye?” She peeled back and squeezed my chin.

I smiled, but it didn’t come as easy today. “I promise to give a peck on the cheek.”

“Alright.” She wiped a tear that’d rolled down her face and flicked her wrist at the door. “On with ye then before you go and miss your flight.”

Giving her arm one final squeeze, I walked out, rolling my suitcase behind me.

Eros lifted his head with a half-hearted grin as I approached. “You all set?”

Dammit, Elani. You have everything you’ve ever wanted in front of you, and you know it.

My heart went into a battle frenzy with my brain.

“This has been amazing, Eric. Sincerely, thank you.” I picked at a flaking piece of plastic on the handle of my luggage.

He winced. “Back to calling me Eric, huh?” He slid closer, letting the air escape slowly through his nose. “It was amazing. And I’ll never forget it.”

His words sounded so…final. Was this it? After our weeks of banter and play at the bar, after the magical moments here in the Highlands?

“Listen, about what I said, I—” I grabbed his forearm.

He shut me up by kissing me—a reminder of what we shared and what I had to lose. My heart fluttered, punching at my ribs, trying to wake me up.

He pulled away and swirled my cheeks with his thumbs. “Like I told you, replace yourself. You know where to replace me when you’re ready to talk. If you’re ever ready to talk.”

Damn him for being so perfect.

I dumbly nodded, fixing my eyes on his lips, already missing their touch.

He pressed a hand between my shoulder blades, guiding me to the taxi.

After tossing my suitcase on the backseat, I paused mid-way to sitting. “Don’t you need a lift back to your hotel?”

He gave a lop-sided grin as he leaned on the doorframe. “I have ways of getting where I need to go.”

My cheeks blushed. “Right.” I sunk to the seat, curling my purse into my lap.

He bumped his knuckle under my chin. “Have a safe flight.”

Flight.

As he closed the door, all I could think about was flying with him, cradled in his arms, and watching the world zoom by like a never-ending panorama. The driver pulled out, again not Mr. Campbell this time, which disappointed me. I turned in my seat, staring at Eric through the back window. His features hardened, and he stood rigid. I slouched and slapped my hands over my face. What could be said for a mortal fool who broke the god of love’s heart?

Back in Canada…

I swiveled in my desk chair, staring outside at the torrential downpour that’d been plaguing Toronto for days. Funny enough, if it’d been sunny, I would’ve kept my blinds closed. The dark clouds, the rain falling like a giant’s tears, matched my mood. Misery love’s company indeed.

My door flew open, bouncing against the door jam. It could’ve been a burglar or a bill collector, and still, I turned my chair like a villain in a Bond movie.

“Okay, Stewart. I’ve given you enough time to come clean to me at your own will, but it’s been three days of you moping around.” Alex stormed forward, slamming her palms on my desk. “Do you realize you’re wearing the same clothes as yesterday?”

I frowned and sniffed my shoulder with a shrug. “I don’t smell.”

“That’s not the point, and you know it. And when’s the last time you brushed your hair?” Alex tried to drag her fingers through my hair. They got stuck toward the middle.

I yelped and batted her away. Lifting my hand, I discovered a modest-sized bird’s nest forming at my crown. “I’ve been locked in my office this entire time anyway. No one has to see me to replace ‘love.’” I did air quotes and said the word “love” like one would cringe at the word “moist.”

“Okay, what the hell is going on with you? Does it have anything to do with a particular set of wings?”

My bottom lip trembled. “I broke up with him, Alex. I broke up with a Greek god! What the hell is wrong with me?”

Alex pressed her palms together in a prayer-like gesture and turned for the door. “Firstly, the door is wide open.” She closed it with a calm click and sat in the chair across from me. “Secondly, how could you have broken up if you were never officially dating? Lastly, do you want me to say what I think is wrong with you, or was that a rhetorical question?”

Groaning, I pressed my face against the desktop calendar taking up most of my desk’s surface.

“I’ve seen you miserable before, but this is a DEFCON 1 type situation. Talk to me, woman.” Alex tapped her finger near my ear.

I lifted my chin, a pen stuck to my forehead before falling and bouncing to the floor. “I had the most magical and romantic time of my life in Scotland. All because Graeme stood me up, and Eric appeared to pick up the pieces.”

“Eros.”

I scrunched my face.

“You keep calling him by his fake name, and you’re only going to make it worse.” She snapped her fingers in my face. “He’s not a mortal. He’s not human. He’s a god with wings who obviously is so head over heels for you I almost want to vomit.”

“The wings, Alex. The wings.” I threw my arms out to my sides as if I soared through the clouds.

A devilish smile pulled at her lips. “He totally fucked you with the wings out, didn’t he?”

I slapped a hand over my chest as if I had virginal ears. “Vulgar, much?

“I call it as I see it.” She flicked something from under her nail. “What’s the real issue here, Elani? You enjoy his company. He’s clearly phenomenal in bed, he likes you…”

“My life would change. Even my relationships with everyone I know. It’s a lot to ask for, to simply—become not human?”

“Careful. You’re in the running for Drama Queen of the year, and I’m not ready to hand over the crown.”

“I’m serious, Alex. You’re trying to tell me you’d just up and say, ‘Where do I sign?’”

“In a heartbeat. My life is my life. Yes, the family and friends deal would be huge, but if they’re going to get pissy over something I’ve decided for myself, to make me happy, then they never cared about me in the first place.”

I sunk in my chair until I was half falling off it.

“What does your gut say, Stewart?” She ducked her head under the desk, no longer able to keep eye-level with me otherwise.

I pouted. “I like him. A lot.”

“Then what’s stopping you?”

“He said we’re soulmates.”

“Well, duh.”

My eyes formed slits.

“Your favorite coffee shop is Cupid’s Corner. Part of his name is even in the name of your business.”

I cocked an eyebrow.

She walked to the 3-D “E-romantic” logo hanging on the wall behind my desk. After running her hand over the letters “E-r-o” highlighted in teal, she snapped her gaze back to me.

Groaning, I slid to the floor like a melting snowman. “Oh. My. God.”

She hoisted me up by my armpits with a grunt. “Let me guess. Because you’ve spent your entire life thinking such a thing doesn’t exist, it terrifies you?”

“Why can’t I let it all go?”

She picked up my sword-shaped letter opener. “You’ve built a business around the opposing force of fated love. It’ll happen.”

“But what if it doesn’t? Or what if it does, and he wants nothing to do with me anymore?”

She twirled the sword between two fingers. “He’ll live forever. Call it a hunch, but I think he’ll wait.”

“Well, that sounds downright selfish. Expecting him to wait around for me to stop being so stubborn?”

“Like he’s never been selfish.” She stabbed the letter opener through an empty water bottle on the edge of my desk.

I widened my eyes, shifting them from the skewered bottle to her.

“Why don’t you take the rest of the day off, go home, change your clothes, and do whatever it is you do to relax. Hm?” She rubbed my shoulders, but it was more like awkward petting.

I stared at the crow charm hanging from her necklace. “She came to see me.”

“Who?”

“Psyche.”

“Oh, shit. Why?” She sat on the edge of my desk, turning my chair so I faced her.

A sharp pain formed in my temple, and I pressed my fingers against it. “She told me Eros made a mistake with them. Said that she and I come from similar backgrounds.”

Alex tapped her finger against her lips. “Holy hell, Elani. You do. In myth, Psyche was super close with her dad. Guys were infatuated with her, but never had one commit…and your names both mean some form of the soul.”

“Yeah. That’s what she said.” I eyed her quizzically. “How do you know what my name means?”

She marched over and pulled me to standing. “You seriously need to get over whatever hurdle this is because, woman—” She grabbed my shoulders. “You’ll be missing out on something incredibly special if you let this go.”

Her expression terrified me almost as much as the idea of soulmates. She’d always been full of dry humor and sexual jokes, but right now, she was so serious her eyes bulged.

“Okay, Alex. I’ll head home.”

Giving one last squeeze to my arms, she stepped aside and gestured for the door. “I can hold down this fort with my eyes closed at this point, so don’t worry.”

I paused at the doorway, digging my nails into its wooden frame.

She really could handle this business. Better than I had all these years, even because she believed in all forms of love—she had an open mind. Hm.

Despite my apartment being three miles away, I opted to walk home. The crisp air stinging my cheeks kept me alert. I paused in front of my favorite coffee shop but couldn’t make myself go in. Cherubs of every shape and size drowned the place. White wings hung from the ceiling, and there were more hearts than I could ever remember seeing. He didn’t deserve this. He deserved someone who would give him the world in return. Someone who didn’t doubt what they were feeling and fate’s call.

Once home, I threw my purse and jacket on the couch, showered, and changed into a pair of comfy sweats. I’d opened the freezer, staring at the several pints of ice cream, but couldn’t stoop so low to become a cliché. Instead, I heated a leftover plate of spaghetti and cued up one of my favorite movies, How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days. I was a glutton for punishment. Kate Hudson had just won her first game of “Bullshit” with Matthew McConaughey’s family when a knock sounded at the door.

Fireflies beat against my stomach. Eros. He’d come to tell me I was an idiot—to kiss the denial straight out of me.

Without looking in the peephole, I whipped open the door with a smile that faded.

“Hi, Lani girl,” Da said.