Fated To The Alpha
Chapter 203

One week later, There is nothing worse than everyone thinking you are the solution to their dilemma. Sure, I could have saved him, but how do you choose whose life is worth more? How do you choose who to kill and who to save? Essentially playing god, and how do I live with choosing, what will the ramifications of that decision be, how do you choose whose life is more valuable when all life is precious. Marabella learnt the hard way. She chose to save her pack, but by doing so damned, the man she loved, cursed herself and paid the price.

A never-ending cycle of pain. Now I am the one to choose who could live or die. The risks of altering a future that I have no control over could be my downfall and the ruin of those I hold dear.

Choosing to do nothing and watch Kyan's heartbreak was the hardest decision of my life. I already regretted it, but Dominic's men had already killed the rogues and I couldn't take the life of someone undeserving. Skeletons Seline said, make sure you choose which to live with and I understood that with a clarity that was terrifying.

Every decision I make from now on will haunt me, it will break small pieces off and I don't know how Seline bore the weight of those decisions, how she chose

between her children, her children she entrusted me with and this job was impossible. I am not ready for this; I am not ready to take her place and the expectation that came with it.

Was it too much to be normal, free of consequence, and free to live without choosing? I felt tired, and this was just the beginning. I was already emotionally exhausted, and I felt dead inside. So many lives have been lost, and I just watched because sometimes choosing to do nothing was a better option.

This was all set in motion a long time ago and I was beginning to realize how right Seline was. We choose mates, not their destiny. Sometimes fate could be cruel, and I had to learn to take the punches and avoid causing more unnecessary destruction. One decision can have a domino effect. One wrong move and the entire thing will fall around you. Get it right and we may just survive it, but with death comes life and once that life is over, death comes for us again. A never-ending cycle. Each time washed of our sins and sent back until we get it right or choose not to. I realized Seline chose not to.

She chose to break the cycle of living with the things that haunted her. I wondered if I would make the same decision one day. Could I force this onto someone else? I am grateful for Seline bringing me back, but now I pay the consequences of my sacrifice. My kids forced to pay the sacrifice when they died with me.

"Kat?" Ezra whispers, his hands dropping on my shoulders and I hadn't realized I had been staring at my father's body in the coffin. Completely zoned out and thinking of what if I found another way? Would he still be here? His death was one skeleton I didn't want to live with.

It was his choice, his life to sacrifice, but it doesn't change the fact it was the man who raised me. The man that taught me to ride a bike, the man who tossed his pack away and his title for me. He was my father, my safe place and the hero of my stories growing up, and I killed him.

"Kat?" Ezra repeats and I look at him, finally able to pull my eyes away from the man that raised me. I kept waiting for him to wake up and call me that god awful nickname, but now I would take the teasing.

Anything to hear him say it again. Instead, I had been listening to his voicemail on repeat just so I could hear his voice and pretend he was still here and was just too busy to pick up.

Andrei walks up behind Ezra and pats his shoulder before nodding at him. Ezra looks at him before walking off only for Andrei to take his place. He was wearing a suit which was odd; I was used to seeing him dressed casually, yet he looked handsome. I could actually see the similarities he shared with our father.

"I don't know what to say, " Andrei admits and I nod before feeling his hand wrap around mine, engulfing it. He rubs circles in the back of my hand with his thumb.

"We don't need to say anything, dad knows. He knows already," I tell him.

"I never would have put you in that position. I understand the consequences of you having to do that for me, but I can't thank you enough. I can't make this up to you or dad"

"Yes, you can. You can live for him. He died to make sure you kept on living. He knew Sage was the only way that would have happened. You needed her more than him" "But what about you?"

"You're my brother. His death I will learn to deal with. I couldn't live with yours in my hands and neither could dad. I didn't have to do what he asked. I could have saved him, but I would have been condemning you and your family. One life for three, it was the right thing to do, and it is what he wanted"

"I'm sorry Kat. I know that would have been the toughest decision to make"

"It helps to know it was the right one. I have no regret over choosing Sage. I have regret of being the one to do it, but not of Sage. This was his way of giving you back everything he took from you, his way of showing you, you meant more than his own life and that he would give up everything to make sure you have the life you deserve, with your mate and your son.

He gave it up for them and for you. If our roles were reversed and it was for one of my children, I would lay my life down in a heartbeat, I would give my last breath to make sure they got to take another," I tell him.

Andrei tugs me closer to him, draping his arm across my shoulders before pressing his cheek to the top of my head before kissing my hair.

"I love you, " He whispers and I wrap my arms around his waist, hugging him back.

"I love you too, "I tell him before following him out of the church. Sage was waiting for us outside, her eyes bloodshot from crying. The guilt on her face was undeniable.

She hesitates as she approaches me like she thought I would turn away from her, cast her away for his death. She looks at Andrei as if she was worried she shouldn't approach so; I move to her instead and open my arms to her. Her hug was tight as she hugged me like she couldn't bear to let go.

"I 'in sorry, Kat," she whispers, and I let out a shaky breath. Her hug is warm and seeing her heartbreak makes my heart swell. I made the right decision and so did dad. He saved his son, but also killed me in the process. That was the beauty of sacrifice. Someone is always left pained no matter what. I may not have my father but he was right, saving their family was worth the sacrifice knowing my brother would be happy, Jonah would have both parents and Sage gets to live after a life full of heartache, and finally the cycle of Donnie's and Sierra's torment had come full circle.

He saved more than Sage, he ensured Jonah and Andrei had a future. He would finally know peace, knowing that he proved his love for his son outweighed his own life.

"Family, we are nothing without them and I am glad to have you as part of mine," I tell her and she sniffles and nods against my shoulder.

Survivor's guilt. But I know her life was worth saving. She deserved a happy ending after everything she endured; she deserved peace and happiness and Andrei and Jonah deserved the love she would give them.

"Come on, we should get home. Everyone is waiting, "I tell her, knowing that both packs were at home to celebrate the life of my father. His funeral differed from my mothers, he earned his place in both packs and earned the respect of everyone and his place amongst both packs. He redeemed himself for his past failures. My father thought he failed me by leaving, but I knew he would come back and he did. He just needed time.

He never failed me, neither did mum because I know everything they did was never to hurt me, not intentionally anyway.

Now to do this all over again tomorrow, but for Dominic. The man that gave his life for my daughter's. The man who I realized I had painted wrong from the beginning. All a misunderstanding based on fear of each other and fear for the packs we both served. The next day,

The funeral home is crowded, bodies pressed against each other, and there are members from every pack. Hundreds of people turned up for Dominic's funeral. So many people gathered outside the building all the way to the lush lawns surrounding the place. There were even humans, which showed how much respect this man had.

I stood at the back with Ezra and Mateo. Marge said she would watch the kids while we attended and I didn't think it a good idea to bring Marabella while it was still so raw for Kyan. Andrei, Sage and Jonah stood at the back with us and Lucas, spotting us, waved us forward. I shake my head, not feeling like I belonged at the front. When we didn't move, Lucas pushed through the crowd toward us.

"My Queen, you belong up there with Kyan"

"I don't think he will want me up there, "I tell him.

"Dominic gave his life for your daughter, that means you are worthy enough in his eyes" Lucas tells me and I felt torn when Lucas leant closer to whisper to me not that he had to, the crowd of those talking would drown out all noise as we waited for the funeral to

start..

"Your daughter is Kyan's mate, you are family whether or not Kyan knows it," Lucas whispers and I pull away to look at him, shocked.

"How?" I ask him, wondering how he could possibly know that.

"Dominic told me he wouldn't give his life for just anyone. His life was reserved for his son, so he gave it to save his son from himself" "Dominic knew?"

"Dominic was a remarkable man, but he was a father first and his son was his world. Despite being strict, there is no one in this world he loved more than Kyan. Dominic saw you coming before even you knew what you are. He saw the baby that would match his son one day, he saw the darkness that taints her, he saw who she would one day become to him"

"And what's that?" I ask him, wondering if Dominic saw a brighter future than what I was shown.

"His redemption " Lucas whispers, leaning in closer. When he pulls away, he stares at me and I nod once. I don't know what he needed redemption for, but I knew it involved my daughter, something I knew I would never be comfortable with. "Jonah, Kyan was asking for you earlier. Maybe you could cheer him up a bit, " Lucas says, looking at Andrei. Andrei nods to Jonah, who was waiting for permission.

"I saved you all seat's, " He says, looking from my mates to Andrei and Sage. I let out a breath before following him to an empty pew. Kyan was nowhere to be seen, but when Jonah went to follow his parents, Lucas patted the spot next to him in the front row. "You sit here, son, with Kyan," Lucas says, and he looks at Sage, who motions he could before sitting down next to Lucas. Jonah looked so small sitting beside the man. When the music started, the chatter quieted down and the aisle between the pews cleared. I couldn't see Kyan until he passed me.

Kyan's face was set in stone and void of all emotion. He was present; the shadows surrounding him, tainting him, were black as coal. The darkness encased him, numbing him as he walked behind his father's coffin, a silver urn clutched in his hands. I watched as they placed the coffin at the centre of the room. The men walked back to their seats as one of the funeral directors set up the coffin for open viewing before nodding to Kyan, who waited off to the side; he was staring at the wall off to the side of the room before the funeral director motioned toward the coffin.

Kyan walked up to it and I knew the second he laid eyes on his father because the shadows erupted out of him, filling the stage and spreading to the roof like dark smoky tentacles that only I could see.

Kyan places the urn in the coffin before turning around, his eyes vacant and not a tear in sight, like he had none left to give. He was an empty shell and despite being the picture of indifference. I could tell by the shadows that his father's death destroyed him more than he was willing to show anyone.

He sits next to his uncle, who then gets up and gives a eulogy. Kyan sat with his shoulders slumped, head down as I watched the shadows move back toward him, blanketing him and caressing him when he suddenly jumps. The shadows fizzling and I stare at him, wondering what caused it when I noticed Jonah's hand had reached out, grabbed Kyan's.

Kyan stares at him like he only just noticed Jonah was sitting beside him. The shadows recede a little when Jonah places his little head on Kyan's shoulder and I could almost feel his shock at Jonah trying to comfort him before he relaxed, resting the side of his face on Jonah's head.

"What did you put in with your dad?" I hear Jonah ask him.

"What's left of my mother" Kyan tells him. They don't speak after that, just watch the people give tribute to Dominic.

When it's over and everyone was leaving, Jonah stood up with Kyan and Lucas was talking to Ezra and Mateo along with Andrei, yet I was watching the two boys when Kyan let go of Jonah's hand, walking toward his father's coffin.

Jonah followed him. The room was empty besides my family and Lucas. Kyan leans in the coffin and I wander closer to check on them when I see Kyan whisper to his father.

"She will never be mine, because I won't allow her to be, not when she took you from me," Kyan whispers softly, barely audible. He stands up before removing a necklace from his pocket and placing it in his father's hand. "What's that?" Jonah asks him.

"It keeps the darkness away," Kyan answers him and I realize it was some protection necklace.

"But I thought you didn't like the darkness," Jonah asks him, staring at him worriedly.

"I never used to, but it helps me not feel" Kyan tells him.

"You don't want to feel anything?" Jonah asks.

"Not anymore," Kyan says before turning around to see me watching him. He stops before walking over to his uncle. He tugs his arm.

"We leave now," He says and Lucas looks down at his nephew.

"In a minute," Lucas tells him.

"No, we leave now," Kyan tells him, before walking off and heading outside.

"Sorry, he is struggling more than he lets on, he doesn't have any friends and Jonah is the only child I have seen him play with, maybe I could bring him over sometime to see Jonah"

"Of course, Kyan is always welcome," Sage tells him, and Lucas nods before bowing to me and chasing after his nephew.

"You ok?" Sage asks brushing Jonah's cheek with her hand.

"Yeah, but I don't think Kyan is mamma"

"He will be, he just needs time" she tells him and he nods, staring at the door where Kyan left through.