I ease the front door shut behind me, savoring the quiet after a long day at the office. My shoulders ache from hunching over reports, and all I want is a stiff drink and my bed. But as I shrug off my jacket, a flicker of movement catches my eye through the glass patio doors.

Someone’s out there. At this hour?

I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. Tessa seems to enjoy spending time outdoors and Chase seems to be anywhere she is.

Curiosity gets the better of me, and I step closer to investigate. My breath catches in my throat as I take in the scene before me. Tessa. Chase. Cole. Together. With a lot fewer clothes than I would have expected.

I blink hard, certain I must be seeing things. But no—there’s Tessa’s lithe form, sandwiched between Chase’s lanky frame and Cole’s broader build. My mind reels, trying to make sense of what I’m seeing.

‘Oh God,’ I hear her gasp, the sound muffled through the glass.

I should leave. I know I should turn around, go upstairs, and pretend I never saw this. But my feet seem rooted to the spot, my eyes fixed on the sight before me.

Chase’s hands roam Tessa’s body as Cole buries his face in her neck. The sight of my two best friends with the woman I’ve been pretending I’m not pining after hits me like a physical blow.

Walk away, I tell myself sternly. This is private. You have no right to watch.

But I can’t tear my gaze away from Tessa’s face, transported with pleasure. I’ve imagined that expression so many times, dreamed of being the one to put it there.

I close my eyes, trying to summon the willpower to walk away. Sarah’s face flashes in my mind. What would she think of me now? The guilt twists in my gut, but it’s not enough to break the spell.

When I open my eyes again, they’re still there. Tessa throws her head back, a look of pure bliss on her face. Chase grins that cocky grin of his. And Cole…stoic Cole…his eyes are closed in rapture.

A low groan escapes me before I can stifle it. Thankfully, the trio on the patio are too wrapped up in each other to notice.

What the hell am I doing? I think, disgusted with myself. I’m acting like some creepy voyeur.

With a Herculean effort, I force myself to take a step back. Then another. But just then, Tessa cries out, her groan so deep I can feel it in my groin.

I can’t help but stare as Tessa straddles Chase, her hips undulating in a mesmerizing rhythm. The moonlight casts a silvery glow on her skin, accentuating every curve and dip of her body. Chase’s hands grip her waist, guiding her movements as she rides him with abandon.

‘Fuck, Tess,’ Chase groans, his voice carrying faintly through the glass. ‘You’re gonna make me come.’

Tessa throws her head back, exposing the elegant line of her throat. The look of pure ecstasy on her face sends a jolt of desire straight through me. I feel myself hardening, my body responding traitorously to the erotic scene before me.

This is wrong, I think, even as I remain rooted to the spot. I shouldn’t be watching this.

But I can’t look away. My eyes are drawn to Cole as he moves behind Tessa, pressing his chest to her back. His hand snakes around her throat, applying gentle pressure. Tessa’s eyes flutter closed, her lips parting in a silent moan.

‘That’s it, baby,’ Cole murmurs, his hips grinding against her. ‘Let go for us.’

I watch, transfixed, as Cole’s other hand slips between Tessa’s legs. Even from here, I can see the way she trembles at his touch. The sight of them together, lost in pleasure, is both agonizing and arousing.

I need to leave, I think desperately. Now.

But still, I don’t move.

I can’t tear my eyes away as Tessa’s movements become more frantic, her breathing ragged. She’s close, I can tell. The tension in her body, the way she arches her back—it’s all building to a crescendo.

I grip the doorframe, my knuckles turning white. I’m achingly hard now, straining against my pants. The urge to touch myself is almost overwhelming.

This is insane, I think, fighting to control my breathing. I shouldn’t be this turned on. I shouldn’t be here at all.

‘Oh God,’ she gasps, loud enough for me to hear. ‘I’m gonna—’

Her words cut off in a sharp cry of pleasure. I watch, mesmerized, as she comes undone between Chase and Cole. The raw intensity of her orgasm is breathtaking. My own body throbs in response, heat pooling low in my belly. Fuck, I’m about to come in my pants like an inexperienced teenager. I’m thirty-six years old. This is embarrassing.

But the sight of Tessa’s face, flushed with pleasure, her body trembling with aftershocks—it’s almost more than I can bear. I feel myself teetering on the edge, dangerously close to…no. I can’t go there.

Cole guides Tessa to her knees, his hands tangled in her hair. I’m so captivated by the way he positions himself in front of her, freeing his cock and guiding it between her lips, that I don’t notice the patio door sliding open beside me.

‘Enjoying the show?’ Chase’s voice startles me, and I whirl around to face him.

‘I…I was just…’ I stammer, heat rising to my cheeks.

Chase’s knowing smirk makes me want to disappear. Panic floods my system. I can’t deal with this right now. Without a word, I turn and bolt towards my room, Chase’s voice calling after me.

‘We need to talk, Gray!”

I ignore him, my feet carrying me swiftly down the hallway. My heart pounds in my chest, a mix of arousal and shame coursing through my veins. I need to be alone, to process what I’ve just witnessed, to grapple with the conflicting emotions threatening to overwhelm me.

I slam the door behind me, leaning against it as I try to catch my breath. My room, usually a sanctuary, feels suffocating. I close my eyes, but it’s no use. Tessa’s face, contorted in pleasure, is etched into my mind. Her soft moans echo in my ears, refusing to fade away.

‘Get it together, Grayson,’ I mutter to myself, my hands clenched at my sides.

I push off the door and pace the room, my thoughts a tangled mess. The image of Tessa, her black hair wild and her gorgeous eyes blazing with passion, keeps flashing before me. I can almost feel the intensity of her gaze. It’s the same piercing look she gets when she talks about her beloved animals.

‘This is wrong,’ I say aloud, trying to convince myself. ‘Sarah would be…’

But I can’t finish the thought. Would Sarah really be disgusted? Or would she want me to move on, to replace happiness again? I shake my head, trying to clear it.

‘She’d understand, wouldn’t she?’ I ask the empty room, my voice barely above a whisper. ‘She always said life was for living.’

I collapse onto the edge of my bed, burying my face in my hands. The guilt is overwhelming, but so is the desire. Tessa’s passion, her fire, her determination—they call to something deep within me, something I thought had died with Sarah.

‘What am I supposed to do?’ I groan, looking up at the ceiling as if it might hold the answers I seek.

I glance down, my body betraying me with an undeniable physical response. Gripping my erection through my pants, I wince at how hard I’ve become.

‘Damn it,’ I mutter, standing abruptly. ‘A cold shower. That’s what I need.’

I stride to the bathroom, shedding clothes as I go. The shock of icy water hitting my skin makes me gasp, but it does little to cool the fire in my veins.

‘Come on, come on,’ I whisper, bracing my hands against the tile wall.

But it’s no use. The chill only seems to heighten my awareness of every sensation. I can almost feel Tessa’s phantom touch, her warmth a stark contrast to the cold water.

‘I’m sorry, Sarah,’ I whisper, closing my eyes as my hand slides down my body.

The first touch sends a jolt through me. ‘Tessa,’ her name escapes my lips like a prayer as I give in to the urge I’ve been fighting. In my mind, it’s her hand, her lips, her body.

I let out a shuddering breath as I stroke myself, the cold water a sharp contrast to the heat of my skin. Guilt and desire war within me, but desire is winning. I can’t stop the images flashing through my mind—Tessa’s lithe body, her head thrown back in ecstasy, the way she moved between Chase and Cole.

‘Fuck,’ I groan, my hand moving faster.

I know this is wrong on so many levels. But I can’t stop. The need is too great, the temptation too strong.

My breath comes in ragged gasps as I chase my release. In my mind, it’s Tessa’s hand on my cock, Tessa’s lips at my neck. I imagine her pressed against me, her skin slick with water, her eyes dark with desire. The fantasy is so vivid that I can almost feel her breath on my skin.

‘Tessa,’ I moan again, my movements becoming frantic. ‘Oh God, Tessa.’

The tension builds, coiling tighter in my core. I’m close, so close. My legs tremble with the effort of staying upright as pleasure courses through me.

With a strangled cry, I come hard, spilling over my hand. Wave after wave of intense sensation washes over me as I ride out my orgasm. For a moment, the world falls away and there’s nothing but this blissful release that leaves me both spent and conflicted.

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