FOREVER KNIGHTS: #16 To Keep Her
Help Me Find Her

The holiday was closing in and no one had seen Elsabet. And Bast felt his spirit’s waning.

Despite that it’s my favorite time of year.

It was the day he’d normally go in search of the tree but he’d fought all day the urge to stay in bed. When he rose he found Elengard had already put the scented candles throughout the stronghold and the smell of sweet breads filled the air.

She’s taking care of it. He gave her a smile as he passed.

“Heading out to get a needle tree?”

“Nay, not this year, Elengard.”

“The devil you say!” She expostulated in a rare show of emotion. “You’ll not continue stewing in this sorrow. It is your favorite time of year.”

He stared at her, surprised at her sudden rise of temper.

She softened her tone. “And it was theirs too.”

“I doubt it was Elsabet’s.”

“It was.” Elengard sighed. “You were not here with her year around. It was the only time that her cheeks would flush and she’d glow. She knew she could count on you being here that time every year. It was one thing she could count on with you.”

There’s nearly reprimanding in her voice.

“What does that mean, Elengard.”

“Lad, you know I love you dear, but in many ways you drove that girl away. You forced her to stay close but held her at arm’s length.”

He gave a helpless gesture. “How can you say that?”

“It’s truth. We both know the Dear had suffered an ugly past. You gave her beauty, romance, and you certainly loved her more than anything that walked. But,” Elengard shook her head sadly. “You gave her no guarantees, no truth, no freedom, and no consistency to count on.”

His brow furrowed in confusion. “I gave her everything I could!”

“But all she wanted was you.” Elengard argued. Crossing her hands over her thighs as she often did when speaking to him as though he were a naïve child.

Though it was a rare occasion she felt the need.

“She had me!” He cried. Feeling emotion washing through him. He caught a small crystal vase and tossed it against the door.

“Feel better?” Elengard lifted a composed brow.

“Not in the least.” He grumbled. Shoulders heaving.

“Perhaps you should throw more. Nothing settles the soul like acting like a spoiled six year old.”

He glowered darkly. Perhaps I am acting one. Doesn’t mean I need to appreciate hearing it from her.

“Why don’t you say what you mean? She did have me, Elengard.”

“She didn’t. You gave her whatever was left of you between trips to save your brethren. But she knew nothing of where you went or what you suffered. You told her no tales of your feats.”

“It’s not my way! She’d just worry.”

“She would’ve. But you weren’t sparing her anything. She worried anyway. Spending long hours at the windows and hardly eating. You were eating away at her soul even as you yearned to love her wholly.”

“That’s not what I wanted”. He deflated and sat on the lowest step of the stairs. Dropping his face into his hand.

She walked over and lifted his jaw. “Certainly, it wasn’t, My Lad but if she was every going to give you all she was she needed to know she had everything you were. That when you were leaving it was truly to do as you said and that nothing need be hidden from her. Perhaps she longed to go with you occasionally.”

He gave Elengard a forlorn look. “I always wanted them with me.”

“But did you ever offer to take her?”

“No…She did ask.”

“But you said no. She could do nothing that might mean she’d leave you. And that fear has gotten you where?” She cruelly gestured around the empty castle.

“Why are you being so heartless?” He asked. Blue-green eyes nearly tearing despite his constant resilience.

“You wanted consoling. But you needed to understand. And I’ve always been one to give you what you needed. Not what you wanted.”

That’s probably true.

“Now you go. You make this holiday as warm as all those before it. Because if she comes back she’ll be heartbroken to see you let her down. And I won’t have that.” She ruffled his hair fondly before walking away.

“Yes, mother!” He called after her in feigned bitterness.

“Were you my son, Love. I might have considered drowning myself.”

“You’re cherished by me as well, Elengard!” But despite himself his usual humor surfaced at the banter and he was smiling.

As she knew I would be.

Bast put on warmer clothes and Elengard met him in the foyer to drop his furred cloak over his shoulders. Lifting the furred hood.

As he walked out the first flakes of winter had begun to fall. Marking the season.

As he entered Warlock Grove, he made his way to where the needle trees began. Finding the spot where several trunks were sawed off from trees he’d collected over the season. As he walked down the line to replace the next pretty tree that would suit WaterRose’s Parlor. Many were too tall but soon he found one of the right size, and width he preferred. Something glinting under the snow caught his eye. He brushed some snow aside and saw a woman’s earring dangling from the tip of a branch.

Scooping it into his hand he observed it was a beautiful pearl cradled in a lovely blue inlay.

It can’t be?

The earring she’d hung so many years ago was safely bundled in the crate he kept under the stairs.

But this seems an exact replica. Without even meaning to, his eyes moved further over and found a string of green stones like the necklace she’d put on their tree in 1703. This one was somewhat different, but he’d have sworn that those earrings and the others he found on the tree were the matching ones to those she’d lent to the crate. And down below was two earrings attached by a tiny silver chain.

She did this. He realized in shock. She picked the tree for WaterRose.

He was nearly breathless as he fingered that pearl.

“Elsabet?” He looked around. “I can feel you.”