Forgive us
Chapter Eleven

Macey managed to get a couple hours of sleep only as she kept waking up in a cold sweat reliving things that had happened in her house of horrors. She was up and dressed before 8 so text Johan offering to shout him breakfast before they drove to Sydney. She also made sure her caller ID was off and then called Asher.

"Asher speaking" Asher answered the phone. "It's Macey, I will be coming today" Macey stated. "That's great Mace, you should know Dad took a turn for the worse overnight" Asher responded. Macey rolled her eyes, he didn't have to try to convince her to see that man as she already planned to be there today. "Is that Macey?" She heard someone ask. "Yes she is coming today" Asher replied.

Macey heard muffled talking until finally, Asher got back on the phone. "Macey, if you get a train to central one of us will pick you up. Bring a few changes of clothes and you can stay with us until Dad passes" Asher stated matter of factly. "I won't be staying, my life is here and I have uni tomorrow" Macey replied. "Ok well, I'll pick you up from the station. What time does your train get in?" Asher replied. "I don't need anything from you" Macey replied before saying goodbye and hanging up.

Macey headed downstairs to wait for Johan who had confirmed he would be over for breakfast. When he pulled up, Macey jumped in the car and they headed to the local cafe. Macey was stalling, she really wasn't sure if she could face her father after everything he had done. But she also wanted answers to her questions. She was struggling with the decision again. She had been doing this all night. Macey didn't notice that the waiter had come to take their order. She hadn't even really checked the menu to see what was on offer as she was so conflicted about whether she wanted to go try to get the answers from her father or not.

"Macey, are you ok?" Johan asked while touching her shoulder, Macey was sitting looking into space. "Sorry, what?" Macey asked snapping out of her head. "Can you give us a few more minutes?" Johan asked the waiter. Macey turned to see the waiter walking away from the table. "I'm so sorry, I didn't sleep well. I have been going back and forth on whether to go or not. I want answers for sure but I don't know if I can open that can of worms. I also don't know if I can accept those answers. This probably sounds like nonsense to you because I have been vague about my past" Macey rambled out. "Macey, take a breath for me" Johan called out stopping Macey from continuing to ramble.

"Sorry" Macey said shaking her head and taking a breath. "Now let's order breakfast and we can talk about it if you like?" Johan told her. Macey nodded and began to read the menu. She was going for the big breakfast and an iced coffee. She knew she would need coffee to stay awake and something in her stomach so she didn't pass out. "Ready to order?" Johan asked Macey to which she nodded her head yes.

Johan called the waiter back and they both ordered their breakfast before Johan sat waiting for Macey. "OK, so my home life was abusive as you know, well physically and emotionally abusive as well as neglectful. My father and brother Diesel were the worst. Asher ignored it all and Tyler would get violent when drinking. It started after my mother died. Before that, we were a happy family. I want answers to why things changed and why I bore the brunt of it all. What did I do to make him hate me so much you know?" Macey spoke openly leaving out details or the extent of the abuse.

"So, you want to know why? Why you and not someone else?" Johan asked to check he was understanding her properly. "Yeah pretty much. I just don't understand how he could go from a loving husband and father, and then next minutes, he was a monster" Macey replied. The waiter placed drinks on the table before scurrying away not wanting to interrupt the obvious serious conversation they were having.

"Are you ready to hear the answer though?" Johan asked Macey. He knew that the answer may not actually be what she wanted to hear. He didn't know what she exactly went through but he could see she wanted the answer to why. But was she ready to hear it? It could be hard to hear. "I need to know" Macey replied. "Yes but are you ready to hear it? What if he said I just didn't like you? Or you were an easy target? Or I never wanted you? Are you strong enough to hear that?" Johan asked. He didn't want to hurt Macey but he wanted to know if she was truly ready to hear the answers her father was going to give her. If she wasn't ready then it would be better to never know.

"I am, I wasn't when I was younger. If you asked me a week ago I would of said I didn't care. Now though, I am ready to hear the why so I can finally leave my past in the past. I hate that they all still have a hold over me in a way. If I know the why, I can just let it go" Macey replied. Johan nodded his head as he finally saw Macey relax her body and sit in the chair without looking like she could snap at any second. She had made her mind up without someone else influencing her.

The waiter brought their food over and they both moved on to lighter conversations. Macey asked why Johan had moved to Wollongong. "I moved for a fresh start. Nothing was keeping me where I was. I have mates here and they offered me security work" Johan replied. "What made you choose Wollongong?" Johan asked Macey. "I honestly don't know, something was pulling me here. It was far enough away from my supposed family without having to buy a ticket that could be tracked. It was large enough so people couldn't point out the new person yet small enough that I could replace my home" Macey replied shrugging her shoulders.

After breakfast, Johan and Macey took off to Sydney to see her father and get the answers she needed. The car ride was just a little over two hours but it went quickly as they laughed and sang loudly. Johan knew Macey needed the distraction and he didn't mind helping to keep her grounded until they arrived at the care unit.