Grand Epic Elemental
Chapter 27: Nighttime Conversations

Dinner was a simple meal of rice and boiled edible plants foraged from the vicinity of the cottage. Amara and Leiyu sat on the floor before the low table, eating in awkward silence. When the food was finished and the dishes and utensils returned to the kitchen area, they went outside.

Amara finally broke the silence. “The sky is clear tonight. You can see the stars.”

“It’s getting colder,” Leiyu remarked as he noticed his breath was visible. “Winter should be here soon.”

“Want to go back inside?”

“Sure.”

Inside the cottage, Amara sat on the bed and looked out the window. “The moon is pretty big.”

Leiyu sat down near her. “Are you cold?”

“Just a little. I can generate internal heat to keep warm. Fire magic, you know…”

Leiyu smiled.

“What about you?”

“Since my qi is unblocked now, it’s easier for me to generate internal heat as well. Though this cottage is still pretty drafty.”

Amara moved away from the window and sat closer to Leiyu. At that moment, a strong wind blew through the cottage and shook the rickety wooden roof beams. She was startled and trembled a bit. He picked up the blanket lying on the bed and wrapped it around both of them.

Ah, this is familiar, she thought, remembering how Leiyu had wrapped his cloak around Thallios in the Northern steppes when it was cold at night.

“Are you warmer now?” he asked.

She smiled and laughed. “Leiyu, so scandalous!”

Leiyu looked at her quizzically.

“Look at us, an unmarried man and woman getting so close.”

Leiyu raised his eyebrow. “Your physical form is not female…”

“Eh?”

“Actually…now I’m wondering. Is it the physical form or the mind that makes one male or female?”

“Hmm…good question. Perhaps there isn’t a straightforward answer.”

“Like, right now, you see yourself as female.”

“Mm, yes, I am the avatar of the Fire Goddess, so that would make me female.”

“What about when you’re Thallios?”

“When I’m Thallios…I guess he thinks of himself as male since he is…or used to be a prince. Although it’s rather circular, since he is a prince because he was born as a male. Although to be honest, I’m not sure that Thallios really thinks too much about this. He grew up quite secluded from other people.”

“So, you’re saying everything is determined by the roles we play then?”

“I suppose. What about you?”

“Hm?”

“Do you see yourself as male or female?”

He became flustered. “Well…I’ve never thought of myself as female….but I guess I’ve never really given it much thought at all…”

She leaned her head against his shoulder and glanced at him through her eyelashes. “Maybe…it’s not just one or the other. Maybe there’s an in-between state…”

He contemplated this as he looked at her.

After a while, Leiyu and Amara became tired from sitting upright, so they laid down on the bed next to each other with the blanket covering them both.

“Leiyu, do you believe in fate?”

“Fate? What do you mean? Like prophecies?”

“Yes, prophecies. Or the whole idea that everything has already been predetermined and we’re just following along.”

“I…I suppose if it exists, then it exists. But I don’t personally like the idea that we have no agency over our lives.”

“Hm?”

“Like, why bother with anything at all if someone has already planned it ahead of time? Why are any of us even here? Just to act out some story? And who wrote this story?”

She grinned. “You’re quite bold.”

He sighed and smiled. “People might say I shouldn’t think such things…”

“No, I like it.”

“Although, if I met you because of fate, then I don’t object.”

She smiled and moved towards him. He pulled her in closer and wrapped his arms around her. They stayed like this for a while, the heat circulating between the two of them in the otherwise cold, drafty cottage.

“What do you think happens after we die?” she suddenly asked.

He was taken aback. “Why are you talking about this?”

“Not talking about our deaths in particular. More like in general. What happens to people after they pass on?”

“Well…in the Eastern Region, we believe in reincarnation. If someone has done good deeds in life, then they’ll be reborn into a better life. Eventually they can escape the cycle of reincarnation and attain eternal peace. Likewise, if someone has done evil deeds in life, then they’ll be reborn into a worse life. Maybe even be reborn as an animal.”

“What’s wrong with being an animal?”

He chuckled. “Nothing really. I guess there’s just a hierarchy of existence.”

“But…the highest form of existence is to not exist at all?”

“Hmm…I guess. It’s supposed to be an escape from suffering.”

“But life isn’t all just suffering.”

He gently caressed her face with his hand. “No, it’s not…”

Her breath hitched and she felt tingles radiate from her face to the rest of her body. “When people are reborn, do they remember their past lives?”

“They’re not supposed to. It would be quite burdensome if they did. Although glimpses of it could appear in dreams.”

“What if two people were close in one life and were then reborn? Will they recognize each other in their new life? Or at least feel some kind of connection if they don’t consciously remember?”

“Maybe…What about your beliefs? Or, what do they believe in the Western Region?”

“We don’t have reincarnation. You just get one life and that’s it. After you die, you are taken to the afterlife, where you get…sorted…so to speak. If you’ve done good deeds in life, you can retire to the beautiful golden fields for eternity. If you’ve done evil deeds in life, then you’ll be thrown to the dark, fiery pits, never to come out.”

“Sounds gruesome.”

“Hmm, yes…”

She was suddenly very quiet.

“Something wrong?”

“I don’t know if my parents made it to the golden fields…”

He ran his hand through her hair and held her more tightly.

After a while, he finally fell asleep. She opened her eyes and gently extricated herself from his arms, trying not to wake him up. Wrapping herself in a cloak, she left the cottage and headed deeper into the misty forest, not stopping until she found the lake where they met Suiling earlier.

Standing at the lake’s shore, she let her eyes wander over the water until she saw the pagoda. Suiling was still there, playing the guqin. After playing a few more melodious notes, she noticed Amara.

Amara leapt in the air and glided across the water, landing in the pagoda.

“What brings you back?” Suiling asked. “Couldn’t sleep?”

“I have a favor to ask of you.”

It was morning again. Amara and Leiyu went on their usual walk, exploring the forest. The usual mist that surrounded the forest had disappeared and they could see patches of blue sky peeking through the clouds above.

Up ahead, they saw a wall. As they approached it, they noticed a circular opening in the wall.

“A moon gate?” said Leiyu. “I’ve seen these in paintings of wealthy people’s gardens. Did a family used to live here?”

“Shall we take a look?” Amara suggested.

They walked through the circular frame of the moon gate. Suddenly, the bright sky washed away and they were transported into a dark tunnel. Turbulent winds whipped through the air, threatening to blow them away. Leiyu reached out and grabbed Amara’s hand. A circle of light up ahead zoomed toward them. As the circle passed through them, their surroundings became bright again. They were now standing in the middle of a mountain. Further up the mountain was a temple.

Leiyu was confused and disoriented. “Did we just get transported?”

Amara let go of his hand. “I guess we made it…”

“What?”

“That should be the temple of the Earth Priestess over there.”

He looked at her in shock. “Earth Priestess? We’ve been transported to the Southern Region? How…?”

“I asked the Water Priestess for a favor last night after you fell asleep.”

Last night…

“Is there an easy way for me to get to the Earth Priestess from here?” Amara asked.

“There is a moon gate - a circular door - in the middle of the forest,” Suiling replied. “I can link it to the mountain where the Earth Priestess’ temple is.”

“That’s good. Could I ask you for another favor?”

“Okay…”

“I want Leiyu to be safe. Could he stay here? At least until I settle things with the Earth Priestess?”

Suiling gave her an uneasy look. “Since he is not a goddess avatar, he can’t enter and leave the sanctuary on his own. If you do not come back, he’ll be trapped here.”

“Oh…but you can let him out, right?”

“Goddess of Fire, do you really want me to be the one who tells him why you can’t come back?”

“…”

“Also, leaving him behind without telling him why would be incredibly cruel.”

Amara sighed. “You’re right…I just didn’t want him to be in harm’s way.”

“It’s very sweet that you’re both so protective of each other, but you should not create misunderstandings. Just tell him…”

***

“What-?” Leiyu suddenly realized something. “No! You’re not planning to….We talked about this!”

“I need to settle things with her…”

Leiyu placed his hands on her shoulders. “Why?! I told you it didn’t matter if we had to hide away for the rest of our lives!” His voice grew louder in anguish. “How could you just go behind my back and make this decision without telling me?!”

Amara’s lips trembled and tears welled up in her eyes. “I’m sorry…”

Leiyu’s expression softened and he thought he saw a few flecks of amber in her golden yellow eyes. Thallios? He gently cupped her face. “No, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to raise my voice at you.” He brushed away the tears that were starting to fall down her cheeks. “I’m sorry…you’ve been taking care of me all this time…it must have been stressful for you. I’m recovered now so I can protect you and take care of you from now on. Let’s just turn around and go back…”

“No, I’m going to see this through,” she insisted.

He pulled her into an embrace. “Amara…don’t…”

She put her arms around him and they stood still for a while. She then shifted position and held his cheek with her hand. “You’ve been so good to me this whole time…I’ll never forget you…”

He looked at her in confusion.

“Just wait here…I’ll be back soon…if not in this lifetime, then the next one…”

“What-?” His eyes widened in fear as he realized the implication of what she was saying. “No!”

She cast a protective barrier around him.

“NO!!!” he screamed as he pounded against the inside of the barrier to no avail. “Amara! Let me out!”

“This barrier will protect you as long as I am alive.”

She started leaping toward the temple up the mountain.

He started sobbing as he pounded futilely against the barrier.

“AMARA!!!”

Author’s Notes

There is some irony in Leiyu’s rant about fate (“Why are any of us even here? Just to act out some story? And who wrote this story?”) since he literally is a character in a story.

Amara’s description of the “golden fields” and “fiery pits” in the afterlife are loosely based on the Elysian Fields and Tartarus from Greek mythology.

Although it seems odd for Amara to tell Leiyu that she’ll never forget him right when she is about to face off with the Earth Priestess (with the implication that she might not return), one interpretation is that she is saying this as the Goddess of Fire, rather than as Amara, so no matter how many incarnations she goes through in the future, she will never forget him.