Heavenly Creatures
CHAPTER 19: Day Fifty

The Vatican was the most beautiful place I had ever seen. Sun made fun of me when I cried under the Sistine Chapel. Mother seemed stricken in front of the statue of Pieta.

“We all make mistakes,” my sister said, taking mother’s hand in hers.

“Your father,” mother began, her voice wobbling. Then she seemed to think better of it and stopped talking.

I stood by, silent and solemn. Sun put an arm around my shoulders.

“To truly forgive, we need to be free of the pain caused by others,” he said.

“I guess I need to cleanse my karma,” I joked, turning to him and smiling.

“That’s one way of looking at it,” Sun said.

I hugged him, and he wrapped his arms around me. I pulled away when I felt tears coming again. Sun laughed at the expression on my face, and I felt grateful for his irreverence.

“Hey you two lovebirds!” my sister called. She and mother were already walking out into St. Peter’s Square. We ran to catch up.

“To the Villa Medici!” Sun said. Several tourists looked over askance.

As we walked over, I felt a sudden rush of deja vu so strong I had to stop. I closed my eyes briefly, and when I opened them again, Sun and my sister were looking at me with worried expressions.

“You okay?” Sun asked.

“Fine, fine,” I said.

“I love Rome,” Sun said. “But I don’t love walking on these cobblestones. Let’s get there a bit quicker.”

Sun snapped his fingers, and we were suddenly standing in front of Ristorante Ciampini.

“My favorite restaurant,” Sun said.

My sister rolled her eyes. “Of course. The hedonist.”

“I don’t know what’s hedonistic about it,” Sun protested. “It’s nowhere near as expensive as La Pergola and some others. And we all need to eat.”

We were ushered in and put next to a pool of water.

“Hey! I think there are turtles in there,” I said.

My sister gave Sun a significant look as she opened up her menu. “You know you’re using merits chauffeuring us around the world, right?”

“Not that many,” Sun said. “And it’s never a bad idea when used for a good cause.” He caused a rose to appear in his hand and gave it to me. “For you, my lady.”

I smiled and accepted it, sniffing it before putting it next to my cutlery. I noticed my sister narrowing her eyes at Sun and looked between them, puzzled at the tension.

Sun ordered too many dishes for us, but all of them were excellent. He also ordered wine, and my sister relented after her second glass.

“This isn’t so bad,” she said. “I haven’t cut loose in—oh, I don’t know. Centuries.”

“We can tell.” Sun smirked, and miraculously my sister laughed along with me.

“You better be good,” my sister slurred at Sun.

Sun’s expression was innocent. “Whatever do you mean?”

“I mean, Tara isn’t a charity case,” my sister said. She glanced at me, noticing my expression shutter closed. “Oh, Tara. That’s not what I meant.”

“Always coming in to ruin my plans,” Sun growled.

I looked away from them, at the turtles. They sat on their rocks quite innocently, unaware of the argument beside them.

“Check,” Sun said, and time seemed to speed up until we were outside the restaurant, with Sun walking away from the three of us. I was holding a slip of paper with the address of a hotel on it. “I’ll see you three later.” And with that, Sun popped out of sight.

My sister looked at me in concern. Mother, who had recently grown to the size of a teenager, crossed her arms, unimpressed.

“Let’s call a taxi,” I said.

“There’s no need,” my sister said. “That address is just over here.”

“How would you know?” I asked.

“We’ve lived in Rome before, quite recently in fact,” my sister said. “It’s just that I remember, and you don’t.”

“Oh.” I thought for a moment. “Were we knights then?”

“Like many people, we have a long history with this city,” my sister said. She didn’t explain more and instead turned to mother. “Would you mind going back alone first?”

Mother shrugged and, without a word, began walking away.

“You know the way, right?”

Mother raised her hand without turning around.

My sister turned back to me and smiled. She sat down on the stone balcony and indicated the spot beside her. I sat down next to her.

“What did you mean by what you said to Sun?” I asked.

Sister sighed. “I’m truly sorry I said that,” she said. “It’s just that he said something about a ‘good cause,’ and I got worried.”

“You don’t think he likes me?” I asked, rolling and unrolling the hem of my jeans.

“No, that’s not what I meant. He likes you. That’s not what I worry about,” sister said. “He thinks that liking you is going to solve your problems, but it won’t.”

“What problems?” I asked.

My sister looked away. “You don’t remember fully now, but you will,” she said. “That kind of pain can only be acknowledged by you. Nobody else can do it for you.”

“Well, thank you mom,” I said.

My sister ignored my sarcasm and turned to face the setting sun.

“When we were knights, we would watch the sun set like this often,” my sister said. “We cherished these moments because we knew we might not have another. Those who live by the sword must die by the sword.” She turned to me.

“I always had hope, but you—you lived in despair,” sister continued. “I could never reach you, even though I tried.” She looked out at the horizon again. “When I became what I am now, I took a vow. Even now, I hear all of the suffering of the six realms. But a part of me stays here with you because, even if you don’t know it, you’re crying out…”

A chill had gone through me as she spoke. There was a place in me that I wanted to avoid so desperately that I would do anything to change the subject whenever there seemed a danger of treading there. I stood up hastily.

“Let’s get back,” I said. “I’m cold.”

Sister didn’t say another word, but she stood and led me in the direction mother had gone.