Her Home
Chapter 2 — Sleeplessness

Vincent sighed for what seemed like the billionth time in the last hour as Roco explained to him his new ideas for the club. It wasn't that he wasn't interested in hearing his brother's ideas, they were after all, really good. He was just tired. His father was nearly ready to step down so he had been spending a lot of time reviewing things with him so that Francesco felt completely comfortable leaving the family in his hands. Vincent welcomed the extra focus needed for work because it made it much easier to not think about Rebecca. The problem had been when his mother, Nadia, expected his father home for dinner. The first night, Vincent had gone home to cook dinner. He had finished cooking dinner and went to tell Rebecca to come and eat before he remembered she wasn't there anymore. He had thrown all the food out and went to bed where he tossed and turned most of the night. Catching her scent that was on the pillow, she had used when she had slept with him every night, he gave up and sat up on the bed. It was only eleven o'clock, so he dressed in his best suit and went to the club. And that is what he's been doing every night since.

"Vince. Are you listening to me?" Roco asked, waking him up.

"Sorry, yes. Look, Roco. I honestly gave you the run of the place because I trust your opinion. I appreciate you running things past me, but it's not necessary. Just bring the paperwork I need to sign and I will." Vincent ran his hands over his face. He was really feeling the exhaustion. He wasn't sure how much longer he could go on like this, but, he couldn't stand the thought of going home and her not being there.

Vincent noticed the smile that grew on his brothers face and he was glad that he was able to give him that. Roco was just never interested in the lifestyle that came with being an active part of the family so Vincent was happy to help him do something he enjoyed.

A knock came to the door and Domenico, Ant, and Gio, walked in after Vincent shouted a "come in."

"Hey boss," Ant smiled mockingly at him as he took a seat on the couch that was against the wall beside the door. Ant had decided that he didn't want to be in charge in Italy anymore so he had given Teo the run of the place and stayed behind with Vincent's approval. He hadn't called anyone boss in nearly ten years, so he found it fun to call Vincent that whenever he was around. Vincent had told him over and over that he didn't need to. They were cousins and he was happy to have him there to help him transition into being the boss.

"Ant," Vincent nodded his head toward the men. He turned to the pile of papers he had in front of him and started looking them over, signing what needed to.

"How are the wedding plans going?" Roco asked Domenico.

"Great," he answered before launching into complaining about how Rosalina almost had the whole thing planned with Vincent's mom. Domenico had been able to convince her to wait long enough for the engagement party so Teo and more of the family could make it from Italy, but other than that, she hadn't wanted any help from him. Instead, she had enlisted the help of Nadia who of course jumped at the chance to plan a wedding for one of her children.

"Who is your date for the party, Vince?" Ant asked when there was a pause in Domenico's complaining.

Vincent sighed and threw the pen that he had been writing with, on the desk. "No one," he answered in a 'duh' tone.

"Why not?" Gio asks. Vincent shrugged.

"Because... I don't want to." Roco looked at each of the other men in the room wondering if he should ask what is on all of their minds. Finally feeling the nerve, he turns to his brother.

"Is it because of... Rebecca?" He tried to say her name quickly and quietly hoping that Vincent didn't hear him. Apparently, he heard him because the glare that he gave in response to the question would have killed him if that was possible. Rocco felt a hand on his shoulder, pulling him from his chair. He looked to see it was Gio as a low growl came from Vincent. Rocco decided that following Gio out of the room was the best idea.

"Vince," Domenico said his name loudly to get his attention. "You need to calm down. You better have your emotions under control before the party. Hearing her name is going to be nothing when it comes to the wedding stuff," he watched as his cousins' eyes glazed over. He sighed, "I want you to be my best man, but if it is going to be too much for you, let me know," he clapped him on the shoulder before walking out of the room.

Vincent stands up and walks to the window that overlooks the dance floor of the club. He watches as people bump and grind on each other. He wished he could be as carefree as them.

"Why aren't you with Rebecca?" Ant asked from behind him. Vincent had forgotten that he was still there. He clenched his fists before turning to look at him. He didn't want to snap Domenico was right, he needed to get his emotions under control before he had to see Rebecca again.

"I need to protect her," he answered the question. He walked to the couch and sat down beside Ant. He ran his hands through his hair several times. "If people know that she was with me, she would have multiple targets on her. Look what happened with Enzo." Ant nodded.

"I can understand that. In fact, I have been there." Vincent looked at him with large eyes. "I felt the same way with my wife. She was as innocent as she was beautiful when I met her." Vincent watched as Ant stared at nothing on the wall as if he was remembering something. "I fell in love with her so fast that I didn't even get a chance to think about how much danger she was in because of me. I tried to push her away so many times. Even went as far as almost cheating on her so she would replace out and leave. But she always argued with me and would give me list after list of why we were meant to be and how she knew that I would protect her. And after a while, I realized she was right." Ant looked at Vincent and gave him a little smirk, "She was safer with me, then she was not being with me."

Vincent sighed and looked at Ant he looked like he had tears in his eyes and he knew that there was more to the story. He remembered going to their wedding, but about a year and a half later Vincent didn't hear any more about her. "Can I ask. If she was safer with you. Why isn't she with you now?"

"Cancer." Vincent knew his eyes widened. Ant let out a laugh, "can you believe it. All the danger and cancer's what took her from me. I at least got a whole good year with her before she was diagnosed. It was too far along to fight it. I miss her every day, but the only thing I regret is that I spent so long pushing her away."

"I just can't imagine living in a world without her being okay," Vincent told Ant with a deep breath. "I miss her, but she deserves to be safe and happy."

"Didn't I hear you had your men scare a couple of guys she went on dates with?" Vincent's head shot up. He opened and closed his mouth. He knew he didn't really have an excuse so he shrugged and put his head down. Ant stood up and buttoned his suit jacket. Vincent stood up and offered his hand to shake. Ant pulled him into a bro hug, "Think about it. Do you really want to spend the rest of your life screwing up her dates and missing her? One day she will replace someone that won't run away. Then you will have to watch her move on fully," he patted him on the back before leaving Vincent to think about what he said.

Vincent threw himself back on the couch with a huff. Leaning his head on the back of the couch, he thought about what Ant and Domenico said. He hated missing Rebecca and he knew that messing up her chance at happiness was selfish. He hated himself for it, but couldn't help smiling every time one of the men guarding her reported that they had run off a guy and drove her home so she was safe. Sighing, he decided that he would try to get some sleep. No matter what he decided to do about Rebecca, he wanted to look his best when she saw him again.

He made sure to stop at Rocco's office to let him know that he was leaving. "Hold on," Rocco said when Vincent turned to leave. He stopped and turned back to face him. "I wanted to say I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked you that. I know that you miss her and that was a cheap shot."

Vincent nodded, "You weren't that far off though. If I showed up with someone that would be like telling her that she meant nothing and that is the farthest thing from the truth. I love her and no matter what, she is it for me." Rocco's nodded with a sad expression. "I'll see you," Vincent said and turned to leave.

"Take care of yourself," Rocco called after himself.

When Vincent got home, he took a look around his place and sighed. It was big and quiet. Ant had stayed with him and Rebecca when he was just visiting, but as soon as he decided to stay, Vincent gave him his own place in the building. He was kind of regretting that now. He took himself to his room and showered before crawling into bed and closing his eyes. Luckily, he was so tired he was asleep before he could imagine Rebecca beside him in bed.