His Blue Moon Princess
His Sunshine Baby Chapter 36

I don't want to stop. I love the taste of our kisses, how we take it slow but deep. The way Nate always caresses my skin, my hair. He makes me feel different. Like something is blooming inside, something so fragile I had kept it hidden until now. It's a warm and cozy I interrupt our kisses, and our eyes meet, dangerously close. I can still feel his lingering taste on my lips. This is scary. A part of my heart that I had kept in ice is warming up, and I can't control it. So scary.

feeling, yet it makes me feel like I'm on edge. On the edge of a precipice.

I want to step back, regain my senses, but Nate suddenly grabs my waist, pulling me against him, and kiss me again, more forcefully this time. He doesn't want to stop. His tongue is insistent against mine, and his lips won't let me get away. One of his hands is on my a*s, fondling me over the thin layer of my legging, keeping me close. He grabs my hair like this when he's entranced...

Inevitably, I answer his kiss, completely surrendering to him. Before I know it, he is sitting on the couch, I'm on top of him, my hands on his shoulders. Moon Goddess, this is so perfect... The strange lighting of the rain and the slow jazz music make it more romantic than usual. It's endless, sweet, and delightful. Nate's hands on me, caressing me, getting rid of all my barriers one by one. How do I resist this? I just want to get lost in that moment, forget anything else and kiss him forever. It's not about s*x, it's about us. About that man who has been driving me crazy, making me lower my defenses day after day. I feel good when I'm with Nate. I feel safe, confident, happy. "Elena?"

He stares at me, a bit confused. I'm shaking.

Damn, I can't control it. I get off his lap, trying to calm down. Nathaniel looks worried, he grabs the blanket to cover me with it and waits, rubbing my arms gently.

"Are you ok?"

Stop being so kind and gentle. You make me crazy.

I nod, catching my breath.

"Sorry... Just give me a minute."

"Okay."

He gets up to fill my cup of lemon tea again, and I sigh. I'm slowly calming down. What a mess... When he comes back, I'm breathing a bit better. I take the cup to drink a bit, and Nate waits patiently for me, sitting close. "...Sorry about that."

"It's fine, but... Elena, what was that?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing? That looked like some small panic attack for me. Did I do this?"

"What? No! It was not a panic attack, Nate."

"Then, what was it?"

I sigh and shake my head. Why does he have to be so curious now?

"I was just a bit overwhelmed for a second. I don't... I'm not used to that kind of things anymore."

He frowns.

"Kissing? I'm pretty sure we do that quite often."

"No, i***t. Being so... Cared for. I mean, I have Danny, but he's family to me. And you... You f*****g scare me, Nate. I don't get why you're so nice, so caring. Even as s*x friends, you disarm me in a way that's past what I can handle." "What does that mean? I can't be nice to you?"

"This isn't about being nice, Nate! You're not just nice, you... You show me you care for me, and..."

"Why is my caring for you so frightening to you?" He suddenly interrupts me. "Yes, I like you a lot, and yes, maybe I overstepped a bit by coming here. But you don't have to backup or freak out because of that, Elena. I'm just doing what I want. I'm not going to lie, and I'm selfish as f**k. If I want to come here and be with you, I'll do it."

I shake my head again. Without me even noticing, he took my hand, and he's rubbing me gently with his thumb.

"Nate, I can't. I can't be selfish like you, and I can't act as I please. I am so f*****g scared of making my past mistakes again... I don't want to be hurt. I don't want to go what I went through again."

"Elena, look at me."

He gently raises my chin to have me look at him, at his face dangerously up close.

"First, I am not going to hurt you ever. I'll play by your rules and respect your wishes. If you tell me to come, I'll come. If you ask me to back up, I will. I won't be a mistake, or whatever a*****e you're thinking about. This is different. I won't be your boyfriend, or marry you, or give you children. I am not that type of man, so you can relax. Take it easy."

I slowly take in his words. He is right. From the start, I knew what this was going to be. A relationship without any promises nor commitment, only that one rule not to fall in love with the other. I don't know if I should be relieved or just sad. I just replace it... Hard and straining. I have to keep in check my feelings for Nate.

I nod, helpless. What can I say? I'm an emotional mess, maybe because of my period. But he smiles gently.

"Really not your day, today, hm?"

I sigh and rest my head on his shoulder, closing my eyes. He's probably right. I just needed something to whine about, and some comfort. Nate rubs my back and hugs me, and for a few minutes, we stay like this, with him gently caressing my hair. "...Do you like cold pizza?"

I chuckle. That i***t. When I raise my head up again, I'm feeling a lot better. Pouring a bit of my heart out to Nate did me some good. He gives me a quick kiss on my forehead, and I feel everything is fine. Alright, time to eat that pizza...

We share it, with comments like we are culinary experts. Well, Nate plays the part better than I do, I'm just stuffing myself. But Moon Goddess, that pizza asked for it, it's delicious! I gulp it down, slice after slice, barely leaving any for him. "The Baby dinosaur is back!" He laughs at me.

"Shut up, I haven't eaten in almost two days." "What?"

"Well, Danny is away, and I hate cooking, so..."

He rolls his eyes.

"I'm pretty sure I saw a microwave oven and a freezer in that kitchen, Elena. Even you should be able to use those..."

"Well, I usually do, but my cramps were killing me..."

He sighs.

"I can't believe you."

"Stop making fun of my poor culinary skills."

"Non-existent, you mean."

I growl at him, a bit annoyed. He is having way to much fun mocking me! I grab another slice of my delicious pizza. Damn, even that cheese is so much better than the one I usually buy! I can't stop eating, but I don't care. My cramps are reduced to a minimum, and my stomach is being very demanding.

"Alright, tell me how you got so good at this. Even chores, you cleaned the whole place in only one hour!"

Which is both annoying and embarrassing, if I am honest. Nathaniel shrugs and grabs his coffee, leaning on the couch. I put my feet on his lap, ready to listen.

"I used to do the chores for my brothers when we were younger. Our dad was a good for nothing at home, leaving us on our own. Damian worked himself to the bone, and Liam was too young, so... I started doing most of the chores naturally when our mother fell ill. It was my way of helping Damian, and I liked it. It kept me from thinking of most annoying things or worrying. I just had to focus on cleaning, washing, etc. It was simple. And I liked cooking from the start anyway. My mom used to teach me when I was a kid. She loved it, with her French roots."

"You have french roots?"

Now that I think about it, I did notice he had no problem pronouncing some of those fancy words from the menus. He nods.

"From mom, yeah. She was born and raised in the south of France before she came here to study. She taught us." "So you do speak french?"

"Evidemment."

I smile, amused. Damn, now he even speaks french, that is so damn sexy. I look around, wondering what I can ask.

"Alright, teach me some french! I mean, I know the basics, bonjour, merci, bon appetit..."

"That's a good start, mademoiselle Whitewood."

"How do you say... I'm hungry?"

"J'ai faim."

"I want to eat some pizza?"

"Je veux manger de la pizza."

I chuckle, amused. I'm pretty sure I won't remember any of this, but hearing Nate speak french is so damn cute! I look around, and my eyes end up on my slice.

"How do you say chicken?"

"Poulet."

"Mushrooms?"

"Champignons."

"Cham...Champignons? That one is funny! Cheese is fromage, right?"

I remember that from one of his restaurant's menu. He nods, amused to see me so excited.

"How do you say, Moon?" I ask.

"La Lune."

"I like that.."

"Sun is Soleil, and Stars are called Etoiles..." He continues.

I like that one too. Alright, maybe I'll make an effort to remember some of those. Nathaniel drinks a new cup of coffee. "What about you?"

"I just know a bit of Spanish... And Danny likes K-pop and cheesy Korean series, so I know a couple of words too."

"Kpop?" He says, frowning.

"Probably not your style, M. Black!"

I grab my phone and connect the Bluetooth, looking for one song. Nate frowns when some really girly and bubbly song suddenly comes out. His reaction is so funny; I laugh a bit. I decide to spare his poor ears and put a more soothing one. "I like this one on rainy days," I explain.

"...I like it too. Better than the previous one, that's for sure. What's it called?"

"You, Clouds, Rain by Heize."

He nods, and we listen to the piano and the singer's voice for a while. Nathaniel seems to really like it. I see him check something on his phone.

"Oh... I didn't expect the lyrics to be so sad."

"Really? I think Danny told me it was about love."

"More like a break-up," says Nate. "For the first time in a while, I thought about you today. I deliberately look for a song we listened to together. My heart says it's okay to be sad or depressed today. It doesn't matter anyway, when this night is over. I'll forget you again and live like that for a while, and you'll only live on in my heart..."

I listen to him reading the translated lyrics, and I have to agree. Quite sad, and a bit melancholic too. He gets absorbed in the reading for a while until I decide to interrupt him.

"You've had one? A sad break-up like this?" I ask.

I don't know where I get the courage to ask that question, I just blurted it out. Because I wanted to know. He never really gave me a reason for his "no-love" rule...

"More like a heartbreak... My first love, I was only seventeen. She was a few years older."

"Oh? One of your teacher or something? Teenage crush?"

"No... My fated mate."

I almost drop my cup.