His Blue Moon Princess -
His Sunshine Baby Chapter 89
My first thought, the next morning, is about how well I've slept. For the first time in a while, the sun is already up outside, and I don't feel like jumping out of bed. I would rather not, actually. Estelle is still soundly asleep right next to me, in a curled up pose, so cute I'm observing her for a while when someone slowly pushes the door. I frown before realizing it's James, on his short legs, looking at us with his big blue eyes. Damn, this kid is an energy pill...
I can't bear it. I slowly recall everything that happened yesterday as if it was a dream. But it's not, and my daughter is right here.
Having spotted is newly befriended cousin, he walks up to us with anticipation, but I frown.
"James, if you wake her up..." I whisper.
What time is it anyway? Probably not late, considering we are in July and the sky is still slightly pink... Of course, my nephew decides to play deaf, putting his hands on the bed.
Nora, Damian, your kid is here...
I sense my brother's frustration, while Nora is probably still asleep as well. A few seconds later, my brother walks in, but his sudden arrival makes his kid scream and run away. Damian grabs him before he can get out. "James, you little..."
"...Daddy?"
Damn it, now she's awake too. I sigh.
"Sorry, Nate, I didn't realize he was up," says my brother.
"Good morning uncle Damian. Good Morning James," says Estelle with her little voice.
"Stella! Up, up!"
She smiles and walks up to him. Damian gives up and lets his son down, who grabs Estelle and takes her somewhere else in the house. I sigh.
"Ever tried the leash on him?"
"Trust me, I hesitated a couple of times," admits my brother. "Coffee?"
"Moon Goddess, yes."
We both head to the kitchen, to prepare breakfast for everyone. From the snoring we can hear, Boyan slept on the couch... I check the cupboard to see what I can cook for everyone, and realize they are even fuller than usual. Who the heck eats so much pesto? "Don't ask," sighs Damian, spotting my confused expression. "Nora eats like a dinosaur with this one..."
I chuckle. It's probably better than being exhausted like she was with James. I finally replace enough to make some pastries and hot chocolates, while Damian is in charge of the coffees, which pretty much sums up his culinary skills. "Daddy? What are you making?"
Estelle just walked in, curious. She climbs up one of the kitchen stools.
"Croissants. Do you like it?"
"I don't know... Can you make a magic cake?"
A... What the heck is a magic cake? I exchange a glance with Damian, but he's about as clueless as me. I turn to my daughter, with her messy hair and oversized pajamas. "What is a magic cake, baby star?"
She hesitates the points out one of the hot cocoa cups. Something with hot cocoa?
"A mug cake, honey?"
Nora just walked in and quickly kisses her husband.
"Damian, I really hope it wasn't your son I just saw drawing on his bedroom wall."
"Crap..."
My brother runs out, and Nora turns to us with a large smile.
"A mug cake?" I repeat, confused.
Stella nods, smiling for ear to ear, while Nora laughs at my confused expression. She grabs one of the cups and some of the ingredients I took out, and start using the microwave. "Well, you know how bad Elena's cooking is, so I gave her this recipe. Two minutes to make a chocolate mug cake, with a microwave and basic ingredients. James loves those too." "You're telling me I just spent fifteen minutes preparing croissants for nothing?" I sigh.
"I love croissants; But for kids, this works better," she says with a confident smile.
As it turns out, Nora is right. Both James and Estelle eat their mug cakes in a few minutes, looking happy and satisfied. Okay, I may be the best at cooking but my sister-in-law definitely beats me at handling the kids. Damian lets me know that after a call to the Hospital, Elena hasn't woken up yet, but everything else looks alright.
"I'll go visit her this morning, I need to do my pregnancy check-up anyway. How about you take Estelle out?"
I nod. I did say I would take her shopping, and see my place too. I'm not sure how confident I am about watching a kid, though...
"How about you go with Boyan? He's good with kids, and it will give him a break from watching James and I all the time."
"...Okay."
I'm still not confident about this. I've never spent the day alone with a child, let alone my four-year-old daughter, who I didn't know until yesterday. However, I still went to spend as much time as I can to know her. I borrow one of my brother's cars and take us to the Mall, not too busy for a Sunday. Plus, the huge brown wolf next to us keeps away everyone, meaning we can walk side by side and take our time.
Truthfully, it's even better than I thought. First, Estelle is impressed by anything. She's never been to Mall, seen so many things or so much people in one place. Though she doesn't let go of my hand one second, her eyes are everywhere. I'm also shocked by how well-behaved and shy she is.
Even if she sees something she really likes, she will just stare at it and not ask for anything. It takes me a while to realize every time, and I have to insist and ask several times if she wants it. If I make her try on clothes, she's happy to show it to me and blushes anytime I or any of the salespeople give her a compliment. In the end, despite my best efforts we only buy a few outfits, two pajamas, and a drawing set.
I sigh as we exit another shop empty-handed, but Estelle doesn't seem to mind at all.
Don't worry. You're doing well.
You think so, Boyan?
Hm. She's just not your common kid. She grew up in a forest, this is too new for her. Spending time with you is probably more important for Stella than all those stuff you wanna buy her.
I realize he's probably right. Everywhere we went, Estelle made sure I was never out of reach or sight. She just won't leave my side, and looks for me for anything. I put a knee down to face her. "Estelle, shall we have lunch now? Are you hungry?"
"Hm... a little bit."
"What do you want to eat?"
She seems to hesitate, then looks around. This mall as a few open restaurants, and from across the hall, she spots the food court, with people lining up. It will probably be easier if she can see the food. We walk up there, checking what's available. There is a couple of Asian food stalls, one for sushis, two famous fast-food chains, an Indian one and a Mexican one.
"Daddy? What do you like best?"
"I'm not sure. Which one do you like, Estelle?"
"I don't know..."
A lady is giving samples a bit further, and after trying it out, we settle for the Asian food one. It turns out my daughter loves the noodles and sweet and sour pork. It's nice, to simply chat like this and eat together, trying each other's food. I realize it's also the first time I've really taken a day off in ages.
"...Daddy?"
"What is it?"
"Are we going to live at auntie Nora's house now?"
I hesitate, while Estelle is waiting for my answer with an anxious expression. What can I tell her? Until Elena wakes up, and even after, it will be a difficult question...
"I think so, until your mom wakes up."
"And when mommy wakes up?"
"It will be for your mom to decide?"
"We can't... live at your house in the sky?"
"Only if mommy wants to, little star. But I'm not sure."
That will probably depend on how mad her mother is at me... And if there's a chance for all three of us to be a family again, I guess. Estelle nods.
"I understand. I hope mommy will wake up soon."
"Me too, little star. Let's go see her after we are done shopping, okay?"
"Do we still need to buy more?"
"Didn't you want a new bunny?"
Her eyes suddenly lit up, and I'm glad she looks happy again. We finish eating quickly, and do some more shopping, but without replaceing a new plushie to her liking. She seems happy about her drawing set, though, and keeps looking at it back in the car, as I drive to the Hospital.
Nate?
Damian, we're going to the hospital with Estelle.
I was about to call you, Elena just woke up.
I stay blank. s**t, really? Now? I can barely think. I park the car on the first spot I see, taking deep breaths.
"Daddy?"
"A minute, baby."
I grab my phone, fidgety, calling Damian.
"What?"
"Is she... she okay?"
"Yeah. She's with a doctor, but she's fine. She just asked about Estelle as soon as she woke up, and Nora's with her right now. Are you far from the hospital?"
"We were on our way. I... We'll be here in five minutes."
"See you then," he says before hanging up.
Crap... I'm not ready. Despite all this time with Estelle, I'm so not ready to face her mom. What should I tell her? Should I apologize straight out, ask for forgiveness? Or try the friendly approach first? Damn it, what friendly approach, you dumbass... "Mommy is awake?"
"Yeah, baby."
"Can we go? Daddy, can we go see mommy? Please?"
I take a deep breath.
No matter what, I want to see her. I don't want to push this back any longer. For Estelle's sake, too, we need to have this conversation, as painful as it might be. "...Daddy?"
"Yeah, we're going. Let's go see mom."
"Yes!"
She looks bright and happy again, unaware of my inner turmoil. I drive to the hospital, a hundred thoughts fighting inside my head. I'm a mess inside, and I'm so not ready when I finally park, helping Estelle out while Boyan takes the lead.
We walk inside, and honestly, I'm torn between running to her room or running outside. I'm just... so f*****g ashamed. Ashamed of the i***t I've been, ashamed of everything I've said to her. How mad will she be? How much can she really resent me, after all this
time?
"Daddy!"
Estelle guides me back to her mom's room, she already remembers which one it was. We wait for a second outside, and Nora suddenly walks out.
"Auntie Nora! Mommy is awake!"
"Yes, she is, sweetheart. You ready to see her?"
"Yes! Can I go in now?"
"Go, honey. No running and no screaming, okay?"
"Yes, I promise!"
Just after that, Estelle lets go of my hand, to rush to her mom, yet not running as she promised. I stay outside the room, my heart thumping loud. Nora looks at me, a bit worried.
"Nathaniel? Are you okay?"
"I don't know... What to say."
"It's okay. You two need to talk, okay?"
"Yeah... Yeah, I know."
"Alright. I'll stay here with Bobo."
I nod, my mouth a bit dry. Yeah, I'll be fine. We will be fine.
I step inside, and the only separation between us is a simple curtain. I can already hear her voice, talking with Estelle.
"...So he bought you new clothes?"
"Yes! Daddy got me a new drawing set, too. It has fifty pencils, and a lot of pretty colors, and even animal stamps."
"Woah, you'll make pretty pictures with that?"
"Of course! I'll make new ones for you mommy. And for auntie Nora too! And Daddy!"
I try to gather my courage and take another step, but Moon Goddess, I'm scared. I can't remember the last time I was so stressed...
"....Nathaniel, if you want to talk you'll have to stand where I can see you."
Her voice took me by surprise, I jumped. Damn it. Of course, she felt me. I gather up all my courage and step forward, finally facing her hospital bed.
Damn it. It's so... awkward.
And Moon Goddess, she's so beautiful. Elena's sitting up, in a hospital gown, Estelle right next to her on the bed. Her hair's brushed compared to yesterday, and she looks a bit healthier too, despite the dressings on her head and her arm in a sling. Her face has better colors, and her eyes are open.
Open and looking right at me.
"...Hi," I finally manage to blurt out.
"Hi, Nate."
The simple fact that uses my nickname means the world to me. I walk a bit closer, and Estelle, unaware of that atmosphere between us, smiles at me. Elena caresses her hair, and I can finally see how alike they are.
"Thank you for taking care of her," Elena says.
"I should be the one to say that."
I smile a bit, she knows what I mean by those words. I know, I know she's my daughter, and she had to raise her alone.
"...It's okay."
"It's not okay, Elena. I'm sorry."
"I don't need an apology."
"I'm really sorry."
She glares at me, a bit annoyed, but I need to say it. I need to lift that weight off my heart, even if it's just a little.
"Things shouldn't have turned the way they did. I should have believed you, I should have helped you from the start."
"Nathaniel, I really don't want to hear that now. For now, I'm just glad we are both fine, okay? I don't... I'm not in the mood to have that conversation now. Really."
Her last words sound a bit annoyed, and I realize. It's maybe a bit too... early for that. I nod, and Elena turns to Estelle again.
"You've been a good girl, with auntie Nora and daddy, my baby star?"
"Yes! And auntie Nora made us magic cakes this morning!"
"You slept at auntie Nora's?"
While she says all about her night to her mom, I grab a chair, and sit next to them, unable to take that stupid smile off my face now. I'm just an i***t, happy to be with those two. I feel a bit relieved, though I know we still need to have the talk later. I'm just glad she didn't refuse to see me, cursed at me or kicked me out. It could have been way worse...
"Mommy, are you coming to sleep at auntie Nora's home?" Asks Estelle.
"No, baby star, I need to stay in the hospital. Mommy is still very tired, okay?"
"Okay. But Auntie Nora said I can't sleep with you..."
"Yes, but you can sleep at auntie Nora's house for now, okay?"
"Actually..."
I hesitate, but I really need to ask.
"I was thinking... I mean, Estelle was also asking if she could sleep at my place."
To my surprise, Elena nods.
"Sure."
"Really?"
I was prepared for her to say no, but she just smiles at Estelle.
"You can ask Daddy or Nora and pick where you want to sleep, okay? Auntie Nora says you and daddy can sleep at her house too if you want, but I think your cousin is tiring her out a lot..."
Estelle chuckles.
"James runs around a lot!"
"Yeah, and you saw auntie Nora's tummy? She will have another baby!"
"I know! So I will have another cousin!"
"That's right, little star, but until the baby is born, it's better to let auntie Nora rest, okay?"
"Okay! So I can go and sleep at Daddy's house then?"
"Yes, if Daddy is okay."
Estelle turns to me, excited.
"Daddy, can I sleep at your house tonight? The one in the sky?"
I smile.
"Of course, baby."
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