His Blue Moon Princess
His Sunshine Baby Chapter 92

I take a deep breath, trying to get my thoughts in order. I don't want to give in to him, not now, not so fast.

"Nate, we had that talk... about four years ago."

I see his pained expression, but his eyes are resolute.

"You know I didn't have all the pieces of the puzzle, Elena. It was unfair. I'm not saying it was your fault, but you can't... I mean, anyone would have had doubts. You had my medical records and the paternity test..."

I get furious just thinking about that damn, f****d up paternity test.

"I told you, my cousin...!" "Elena."

I calm down, remembering where we are. Moreover, Estelle is staring at the two of us, anxious and a bit lost. She is holding on to her hot cocoa, trying to grasp what's going between her father and I. Don't get mad now, I hate causing a scene... Nathaniel sighs.

"Elena, I'm just asking we go to my place, for now, to talk. I don't want to just pick a random place, and Estelle's stuff is there too, she can just watch a movie while we discuss calmly, like adults." "Mommy, Daddy and I watched Disney movies yesterday! It was very, very funny, and I even know the song a bit!"

I caress her cheek, thinking. Am I ready to step into his place again? We have so many memories there, just the two of us... This is the last place I saw him, too. Moon Goddess... I thought I had time to prepare myself, but I'm in a whirlwind of emotions right now. I was not ready to see Nate when I woke up, I am still not prepared. My heart is driving me crazy, torn between so many memories and desires. Seeing him again awoke some feelings I thought I had buried, but they rose up again in a snap. I sigh. "Fine, but... Just talk, Nathaniel."

He nods, looking suddenly relieved.

"Of course. I promise you're more than welcome, but I won't hold you back if you want to go to Nora's."

Why am I so happy to see him relieved? This is so stupid... He grabs my bag for me, and we leave the Hospital, Estelle happily walking between us, telling me all about her new room and the movies she watched with her Dad.

Nathaniel and I sit in front of his car, but we don't exchange one word. I was unconscious when he brought me back, so I can't help but watch Silver City while he's focused on his driving and chatting with our daughter. It didn't change that much, in four years... It's the same buildings, the same streets, even if they look a bit more crowded now. Is it because Nora and her mate got rid of the borders between the werewolves packs? I remember how I used to be careful whenever I would venture to the Blood Moon territory, but it all seems so easy now...

I do my best not to watch Nathaniel, or at least make sure he doesn't know. Moon Goddess, he really... changed for the better. He's got more muscles, I can see he's bulkier under his shirt. His hair is cut shorter, and he's sporting a beard. Back then, he would always have a clean shave. Shit... I didn't think he'd get more handsome.

We finally park in front of his residence. It's the same concierge, greeting me politely enough, and he looks like he's befriended Estelle, too.

I'm so nervous while the elevators go up... It's so damn fast, too. The door opens, and we walk in. This place hasn't really changed at all... It's so close to my memories, in every detail. Nate never had many things, to begin with, it's like a furniture magazine in here. Except that now, my daughter left her drawing set in the middle of the table, there is a box of strawberry biscuits next to it and a pink plaid cover on the couch. Estelle, who already visibly settled well there, runs to get her latest drawing. "Look, mommy! Daddy and I, we picked some really nice pencils! I did this yesterday!"

"It's beautiful, honey," I say, a bit quieter than I wanted.

Nathaniel gets on one knee to talk to her gently. I never get tired of seeing him interact with his daughter, so gentle and... fatherly.

"Baby, can you be a good girl and watch another Disney Movie? Mommy and I need to talk a bit."

"Okay, Daddy! I remember how to pick a movie!"

She runs to grab the remote and climbs on the couch, ready to watch. I sigh, and Nathaniel puts my bag on the kitchen counter, going to the fridge.

"Do you want to drink something?"

"I'm fine."

He only pours one cup of water for himself, turning to me while behind us, Estelle's movie starts with music. I follow Nate on the balcony. This way, we can keep watching Estelle from where she won't hear us.

Damn, I really loved the view here... Nathaniel drinks water and sits, but to my surprise, he doesn't take out a cigarette.

"...You stopped smoking?"

He nods.

"Yeah, about two years ago... I stopped a lot of things."

What does he mean by that? I take a deep breath, trying to sort things out in my head, focusing on what really matters. "Alright... I guess we need to discuss some things about our daughter."

"Elena..."

"Nathaniel, no."

I know this voice of his. I'm not going down that lane.

"We discuss Estelle. Because she's your daughter and if you have questions, I'm ready to answer it. Nothing else."

"Elena, it's not just Estelle I want to talk over with you. I know I... I really owe you an apology." "Nathaniel, I..."

"No, listen."

He puts his hand on mine before I can take it away, and when his electric blue eyes are on mine, I don't dare to say anything. I'm just struggling not to cry or yell at him, a big knot in my throat.

"Elena, I'm so, so sorry. For not believing you back then. No matter the numbers, the tests, the hospital... I should have... I regretted it so many times, I swear. Even before I even knew Estelle was really my baby, I wanted to bring you back and apologize. I didn't even care who her father was, I just wanted you back. You have no idea... How many times Damian and Liam kept me from doing some really, really stupid things."

What stupid things? What did he do? I want to ask, but once again, I know I'm going to fall apart if I open my mouth right now.

"I was a f*****g i***t, Elena. Because I was blinded by the idea you could have been with someone else. I died of jealousy. I just couldn't swallow it. When the results came back, I felt like you were betraying me a second time, and I lost it. I swear I never, never meant for you to leave Silver City. I had no idea you would go somewhere I couldn't reach you."

I take a deep breath, trying to think about how to answer that.

"Nate, I didn't just leave because of you. So many things happened back then... I had no choice. Yes, you were part of the problem, but... It wasn't just about you."

He looks at me, frowning, obviously confused.

"Your... Because of your pack? And your relationship to Nora?"

I growl back, a bit annoyed.

"I'm not saying it wasn't partially your fault! But... yeah. Because of all that s**t. And Estelle... As soon as I claimed I was pregnant with your child, things became complicated with my pack."

I see his alpha aura going wild, with anger. I can feel it from here, though he's trying not to display it too much in front of me.

I look down. What do I say next?

"Elena, why did you left?"

I feel like he already knows part of the answer. I glance at Estelle, biting my lip. Nate follows my eyes.

"She's... a Royal?" He asks.

I nod.

"Why didn't you told me? About your relationship with Nora?"

"It was so complicated, even for me, Nathaniel. I was barely sorting out who I was, no one wanted to talk to me about my origins. Even with Nora, we did nothing but guess until the truth came out."

"So it's true? You're... cousins?"

I nod. I explain to Nathaniel everything that happened back then. How I felt our bond, how we both looked for answers on our side. What I learned from Reagan and Sylviana, including about my own mother and father's story. Nathaniel keeps reacting to my words, but he doesn't say anything until I was done.

"So that's why you're not Royal... But Estelle is?"

"Yes," I answer. "Your Alpha blood is strong enough to awake her Royal gene or something like that. Daniel would explain it better than me..."

I brush my hair out of my face, while Nathaniel is still taking in all that information. I sigh and take his cup of water. This conversation is going better than I would have thought...

"Okay," he says after a while.

I frown.

"That's it? Okay?"

"What did you expect me to say? My daughter is a Royal, and you are Nora's cousin, though not Royal, because your mother was human. I am not saying I wouldn't have wanted to know earlier, but it doesn't change much. I want you and Estelle back." "She is your daughter, I never said otherwise," I remind him, wary.

"You know what I mean, Elena. I still love you."

Holy s**t, how can he drop a bomb like that... I look away, embarrassed, and more awkward than ever.

"Nathaniel, no."

"I'm not going to do anything. I just needed you to know, Elena. I still love you, maybe even more than before."

"Can we just focus on Estelle for now?"

He nods and looks at our daughter again, with a faint smile on his face.

"Okay. I just want what's best for Estelle, right now."

I can tell that, from that overprotective look in his eyes. He looks at our daughter, like any werewolf would look at his pup. He turns to me again, and I look away one second too late.

"I still want both of you to stay here."

Moon Goddess, how much more stubborn can that jerk be!

"I understand you want to spend time with Estelle, but don't include me in..."

"She is our daughter. And I don't want us to have to split our time with her, Elena. I'm not asking you to... Think of me like that. I mean, I do want us to get back together, but I know the most important right now is that we both stay with her. I have this vast apartment, with enough rooms you can lock anytime. Estelle likes it here, too. And I know you also do.

Damn it...

I'm so close to crying. I try to hold my tears back, I don't want to show Nate that.

I hate him, I hate him when he stays stuff like that... When his words make me weak. Now I'm really hesitating. I know I'm really considering that stupid offer of his. Truth is, I could stay at Nora's place, but my cousin is pregnant and already busy as it is with her two- year-old and her responsibilities as a Luna. Daniel moved to a Studio with Boyan, and anyway, living anywhere on the White Moon territory is out of the question for me.

Nora did mention the Sapphire Moon Clan could host me, but they are strangers to us... While Nathaniel is my ex, an ex I still f*****g love, and Estelle's father. Moreover, that i***t is right: my daughter obviously likes it here. She's waving at us from the couch, singing to some Disney tune.

A part of me doesn't want her to have to spend more time away from her Dad. That same part of me that reminds me every second that I still love Nate, despite everything. While I'm still hesitating, Nathaniel nods.

"You can think about it until tonight, Elena. I know it's complicated for you to forgive me, but I'm not going to change my mind about anything I said. So... Whether you live or you stay, it's up to you. But I do want you here, and Estelle too, of course." "Daddy!"

Our daughter came running, getting tired to watch us from behind the window. She runs to him, all excited with her pink cheeks. She puts her hands on Nate's knees, acting all cute to him. Moon Goddess, seeing her act like this with him, is the most beautiful thing I want to witness...

"Daddy, in the movie, they were eating bolognese spaghetti! With big meatballs, too! Can we eat that for lunch?"

I chuckle, to Nate's surprise.

"I... I was making bolognese before we left the house..."

"You made bolognese?" He asks, a bit surprised.

"Mommy burnt it! With crunchy parts!"

Moon Goddess, Estelle, can you stop embarrassing me in front of your father like that! Nathaniel laughs and stands up, carrying her.

"Alright, how about you let daddy cook for lunch? No crunchy or burnt parts and I'm sure we can replace some big meatballs for you to eat!" "Mommy! We're having some spaghetti!"

I sigh and smile at her.

"Alright, baby star, let's try daddy's cooking."