His Blue Moon Princess
Chapter 95

I'm floating. I'm numb, drifting in a world of unknown colors. No smell and no sensations, nothing but emptiness around me. I'm a thought, a whisper in a sea of emptiness. I'm free, in a place that's nowhere....Is this what dying is like?

I wander for a long time, without directions, without space. It could be a second, it could be a year. I could be an instant mixed with eternity. It could be anything, it could be nothing. Time makes no sense here.

I wait without expecting anything. I don't know anything. Where, When, Who... No questions make any sense to me. I'm just there. Free and... trapped. An ethereal space, a dive in emptiness. My soul on a lock, my mind in a blank. Slowly drifting apart, losing anything No light and no warmth to accompany me, no one.

I gathered.

It's a grey neon, in a blinding world. A mute world, a deaf world. Colors with no warmth, sounds with no feel. A lonely place. I'm on my own, as if no one else ever existed. No one, no you and no us, no beings at all. Peaceful and scary at the same time, a black hole of emptiness, like I could fall at any minute. And a long, long thread of loneliness.

I'm so numb, and so tired. I'm asleep, gone in an ocean of peacefulness. Like drowning to higher depths, to a vast sky. I try to fly, I try to soar and climb. Find myself again. Go back to them... Back to Him.

Ghostly memories, echoing on my mind, striving to come back to me. Who am I? What have I lost...? The whisper of a forgotten voice, the shadow of a touch... Something I've long forgotten, something I yearn to remember again. Memories barricaded behind an invisible wall, a lock keeping me a thought away.

I hear... sounds.

A prolonged wind... Someone's soft breathing. A little, regular beeping sound. The rumbling of something soft. Footsteps, soft voices... Life. I'm alive.

Or... almost.

I can't feel a thing, nor my own body. Just hear those sounds, like an echo reaching me. A glimpse of life from behind a heavy veil. Something I can't touch, but I can gather. Finally. A peek at life.

It comes and goes. Like a wave that never dares to approach. Sometimes it fades away, sometimes it's brighter than ever before. I wait for it, I'll be patient. Please, please come back to me. Wait for me. Forgive me. I'll be back.

No matter how long it takes. I'll come back to you.

I hear them again.

It's a long road, a long way up. Wait for me. I'll come for you, I'm coming to.

A ghost of mist holding me back, losing me again. I'll try again, I'll replace my way back. I'll catch my breath, I'll grasp my life again. Wait for me. Give me some time, give me a chance.

The voices come back again. Calling my name, a name I can't recall. I'll listen to what I can't hear. Catching a thread, following it back. How do I get back?

Listen, listen to them. I need them. Guide me. Show me the way back home. I'm coming home, coming back to you.

I'll come back to my life.

I'll get it all back, I will be with you. Wait, wait a little bit.

One more time, and one more chance. One more breath.

Something changed?

I think so... Her heartbeat, it's faster. Look. Even her breathing looks more natural.

Check again. We need to be sure this time. We can't give him false hopes again after so long.

I'm fighting my way back.

Sensations crawl back in, one after another. The gentle caress of the air on my skin. The heaviness of unconsciousness. The inner echo of my breathing. My heartbeat pulsing in my ears... You think she can... hear us?

Maybe. I always feel like she can. I talk to her a lot, just in case.

I miss her, too. It's weird...

I know. Like, she's there, but... An empty shell. Even her wolf's gone, too. I miss her voice.

I miss you, too. I want to come back... A black hole is waiting for me, luring for every step I take back. I have to keep going. No hesitation, no looking back. Just this long, blind search for a way to return. A fog of unconsciousness, trapping me then and again. When will I finally wake up?

I need you... I'll wait, Nora, no matter how long. I miss you, I miss you, Love... Can you hear me? ... Or maybe you're dreaming? I want to join you in your dreams. I miss you so much... I... I...

A silence breaks, and something painful holding my heart. A memory choking me, overflowing me with emotions. Did I lose you? Will you be able to wait again, to wait so long? What are you going through?

I'm so sorry, Nora. I wish you were here... I wish I could tell you goodbye in person. I... I hope you'll be back soon. They all miss you. I'll miss you the most. Do you know how much you're loved, Nora? He is coming every day to see you... Liam and Bobo, too. Everyone loves you. They are all waiting for you... I hope you will be back soon. I'm so sorry we have to part this way. I hope you'll understand, Nora. We will see each other again, I promise. Forgive me.

Lips softly press against my forehead, and there is a gentle caress in my hair. Footsteps going away... Where are you going? I need you again. Where are you leaving? Why are you leaving me alone...?

The smell grows stronger.

Fresh roses.

Hey, Nora... Done playing sleeping beauty yet? We miss you, you know. Don't worry about us, but you gotta come back. Damian misses you. Again. My poor brother deserves the price for most patient boyfriend, don't you think? Well, he's not your boyfriend anymore now, but still. I can't wait for when you'll be back... I'm bored here. I miss Sylviana, and Nate is...

Do you have no one else but her to talk to behind my back?

What are you doing here, mister blockhead?

f**k you, Liam.

In a good mood again, I see. What are you doing here, anyway?

What, I can't even visit Nora now?

As if. You don't give a st about Nora, you were hoping to know about them. Well, I don't know a thing, and as you can see, Nora's not giving you a hint either, so fk off, Nate.

Trapped in darkness again, I breathe slowly. When will this be over? It's getting more and more painful now... A heavy sleep catching me, a consciousness it's hard to come to. Words coming back to me, and sounds reaching my ears again.

I know I said I'd wait but... it's hard without you... Can you hear me, Love? As long as you're not suffering again... I don't know how I'm getting by every day like this... I just wish you'd wake up.... I miss the color of your eyes, Nora. The sound of your voice, too. I don't know how they keep going with their lives while I'm stuck here. I want to be by your side every day, every minute. I think of you every second. I...

Fingers running through my hair, and something gently brushing the back of my hand. A smell I love. A familiar warmth, and that voice... A deep sigh.

I just keep going. I wake up, go to work, talk to people, live every minute... And I come back to you. I'm the Alpha they want me to be, but... Everyone's waiting for the Luna. They never mention you when I'm in the room. Do they think I'll break if they call your name out loud? They don't get it. I'm waiting for you, Love. I'll wait... As long as it takes for you to come back.

How long will it take? How long has it been? I feel like I've been here forever... I have no idea. Days? Weeks? Months? I'm so sorry... I keep fighting, looking for my way back, trying again. Why is it so hard? Why am I so weak...?

Moon Goddess... How did I lose my way? How do I go back to them? I'm scared I'll be too late, I'm afraid I'll be trapped here forever. Eternity isn't for me. I want to feel again. Life is waiting for me, but I'm a step aside from the world. In between.

I left my love behind, I left my heart in a crowd.

A promise I've forgotten, something I'll need to say again. I didn't know, I haven't seen anything but my pain. I need to breathe again, I need you.

Tell him I love him. I won't stay alone, I won't collapse. No life, no way out but this fear creeping in. But I'll be back. Tell Love I love you, tell them to set me free. I'll tell you when I'm scared again, I'll let you know when I'm injured again. Tell him to reduce my sentence.

I'm coming back.

I'm tearing down the wall, I'm screaming again. I'll let you feel my pain, I'll share it all with you. I'll be a wolf again, I'll be your mate, forever. I will cry, I will laugh, and I will share it all with you. Your Luna is coming back to life, your Luna is replaceing her way back. I'm right there, where Love was waiting for us.

Where you're waiting for me.

I'm back. I love you.