His Lethal Love -
Chapter 20
Past.
Camille POV.
I stood in the church watching people show fake sympathy for my family during the funeral of my mother. Some of them pulled me into a suffocating hug, patted me on the back, and whispered sweet words about my mother. "What a lovely heart she had," said an old lady while wiping her tears.
Nobody there could understand how I felt at that moment, not even my dad. The guilt was cutting me deep. I was torn between keeping alive or dying. My stomach was churning with remorse and pain. As memories of my mother flashed through my head, my hands clenched painfully. How could I get over this grief?
When she needed me most, I should have been there for her.
When she was taking her last breath, I should have been there for her.
It was impossible for me to breathe, knowing my mother had left me forever. I felt numb all over.
"Our condolences are with you, Mr. Davidson," a brunette woman said to my father, placing her hand on his shoulder as she squeezed him.
Dad didn't pay attention to her as his eyes focused on the floor and he stood frozen. His expression was one of shock and disbelief. My mother's death made him feel lifeless, and I knew how much he loved her. "Say something, Neil," that woman commanded him while gently shaking his shoulder. "You're frightening me."
Suddenly, Dad shot out his hand and grabbed her neck before dragging her out of the hall viciously. "You caused her death!" Dad shouted and shocked us as everyone snapped their heads at him. "You took away my wife. If you hadn't seduced me, she would have been with me, and with my children." The next moment, he collapsed on his knees and howled loudly like an injured animal. He grabbed his head while crying harder. His entire body was shaking as he was allowing himself to drown in sorrow. I should be angry with him as he betrayed Mom, but all I could see was my fault. As much as he was guilty, I was guilty.
My father's uncontrollable tears caused me to weep. I had always seen him confident and proud, but to see him in pain that day broke another piece of my heart. Though he betrayed her, I was sympathetic towards him. I wondered if she would ever forgive us. My father was unable to fulfill his duty as a husband, and I was unable to fulfill my duties as a daughter. She died alone in a hospital bed.
"What's happening here and where is Mother, Cami?" Clarence, my baby brother, asked while clutching my arm tightly as if he was scared.
Natalie chided while snatching Clarence from me, "Come here." I frowned at her strange behavior. Since the day Mom died, her behavior towards me had completely changed. She became rude and ill-mannered day by day. "Go get dad. He's embarrassing us in front of our guest," she grumbled while nodding toward Dad.
Approaching him, I kneeled next to him and gently stroked his back. "Dad, are you okay?"
In a matter of seconds, he lunged at me before grabbing my shoulders and hugging me like a baby. "Camille!" he whispered to me. "I told her not to leave, but she..." his voice cracked. "I abandoned her. It's too late. She won't forgive me. She hates me. She never wanted to see my face. How do I deal with my life without her? I loved her like hell..."
"You should have thought this before getting another woman on your bed, Dad," I said stiffly and got him to his feet. "It's your fault. You'll have to live with this."
And I will have to live with this.
*******
While sitting in the greenhouse where my mother used to sit every day, I hugged my body. I could smell her papaya and cider scent as if she were roaming there. It was dark there; only moonlight was the source of light filtering through the glasses. A few discarded leaves brushed against my bare skin as I touched the plant.
Crying was not an option because she hated me when I shed tears. She always hoped I would be strong, courageous, and powerful, just as she had been for her children. She was cruel, but she was a wonderful mother and wife. She stood up for her children and stayed with her husband. Despite being young and beautiful, she never cheated on my father. If I could, I would want to punish Dad for everything he caused her, but I couldn't do this knowing how much her death affected him.
"What made you leave us?" I demanded angrily while looking at the dark sky. "I wanted to share many things with you. I wanted to share my pain and happiness with you. You betrayed me, didn't you? You don't know what I have been through. You don't realize I was rap..." I let out a shaky breath, trying to hold back my tears. "I need you, Mom. No one is there to listen to the cry of my broken soul. Why don't you take me with you? Why did God do this to me? He made me weak, and helpless. I don't want wealth, I want you! I want you no matter how horrible you are, but as long as you're in my life, I'll always love you."
"I miss you, Christian," I murmured, resting my head against my knees. My eyelids were heavy as I drifted off slowly. My eyes closed, and I slipped into sleep.
After a while...
"Camille!"
"Camille!"
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"Camille!" I sat bolt upright when I heard my name again. Rubbing my eyes, I cleared my view to see Scott kneeling next to me, his hand on my shoulder and his expression worried. Before I could speak, he growled, "What the fuck are you doing here on this frosty night?"
Sorrow shredded my insides when I looked across the greenhouse, and memories of her freshened my head. "It was my mother's favorite place," I mumbled.
"And yours?" He asked, and I shot my eyes at him, surprised.
"Forest," I replied, focusing my eyes on white lilies which had butterflies fluttering over them. "I've always wanted to live in the woods."
"You know..." he sighed and fixed his eyes on me. "I hate you for not being there for your mother, but I like the way you dealt with the situation. You stay calm, composed, and strong for your family. This is not what everyone can do, Cam." He slid closer to me, letting me feel his warmth and masculinity.
I rubbed my arms to get some heat as it was getting colder out there in the night. "It feels unreal she has passed away."
I gasped when Scott wrapped his arm around my body and pulled me into his firm chest. "You're feeling cold." I got myself comfortable in his arms and, for the very first time, felt relaxed.
"Can you please hold me like this for a while?" I requested while pressing my ear against his chest, listening to his heartbeat.
"Sure." He sighed before running his fingers through my hair.
We sat like that for hours.
********
"Listen to me, Camille!" Samuel shouted.
"I won't listen to your bullshits anymore, Samuel!" I stopped before turning around to face him and glaring into his eyes. He looked angry.
"Do you know what you are saying?" He hissed out. "I'll post your naked videos."
"Go for it!" I said, crossing my arms over my chest. "As long as my mother no longer sees them, you can post them wherever you want."
"Camille..." suddenly his voice softened as he cupped my face gently. "I need you so badly in my life. Don't break up with me, please..." Angrily, I shoved him away. "Get away from me, bastard."
Samuel landed on the ground and his face looked as if he was about to cry. "Don't leave me. I love you."
"I don't love you!" I screamed out, catching every student's attention in the hallway.
"Camille...we used to make love last night, right?" He whispered innocently as if he had never raped me.
Blinded by rage, I smacked across his cheek hard. "It was not lovemaking, son of a bitch! It did not love..."
"Camille..." a firm hand grabbed me when I was about to land another slap on his face. "What are you doing?" I shot my eyes at Scott when he jerked me away from his brother and made me look at him.
"Is she crazy?" Maura exclaimed, "What is she doing with poor Samuel? She is humiliating him in front of the school. If she doesn't love him, she could have told him personally. What is the use of creating all this drama in front of the entire
school? She just wanna show how black-hearted and bitch she is. She doesn't respect anyone's feelings. Now, you can see with your own eyes how badly she hurt your brother."
Scott said nothing as he stared blankly at me and listened to his girlfriend quietly. "Oh, poor Samuel. He's bleeding." Maura kneeled next to Samuel while examining his lips.
"Scott, listen..." I was about to speak, but he cut me off sharply.
"Shut up!"
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