How does it feel? (Infatuated Fae Book 1)
How does it feel? – Chapter 17

Mendax

I leaned against the wall as rain pelted me, hidden by shadows and smoke. They would walk through that door any minute now. Unless they didn’t make it past my mother.

The door opened, and the girl practically fell onto the roof, sliding her small frame against the door as if her little body would keep it closed.

All my senses reached for more as soon as I saw her.

She quickly scanned the roof looking for something. The shadows cloaked me as I watched her large innocent eyes search in panic. She was breathing hard, her full chest rose and fell heavily.

It never ceased to amaze me what idiots humans were.

A thrum of excitement passed through me as I watched her. She had no idea her biggest threat lurked in the shadows, taking in her every move.

In truth, I could understand why Walter had been deceived by her. She was unlike any other creature I’d come across. On the outside, she appeared innocent and weak, but I knew better. I’d seen a fire flash in her eyes, a burning madness that threatened to push her to the edge. I wanted to be the one to shove her into the fire.

There was a pull to her that just didn’t make sense. It was wrong for a human to have such an effect on us . . . on me. I knew she was affecting the animals somehow—that was why Walter, the ever heroic man he was, couldn’t help himself, same with Alistair. I had no animal in me, but gods was I effected by her presence. I hated it.

She leaned over the castle’s edge and quickly stumbled back, falling on her ass. She sobbed as the rain poured down on her. The filth of the dungeon seemed to wash away from her skin the more the rain fell on her.

I shifted, needing a better look at the spots on her shoulders. The tiny speckles of sun. I had noticed them on her nose the first night I saw her—it was one of the few things I could see on her that night. In the darkness of the mangled forest, they had fascinated me. Even once I had returned to the castle, they stole my thoughts. So much so that I had to go to the library to replace out what they were. We had a small bit of the sun during the day in the Unseelie realm, but it was more of a gray haze. Nothing that would cause what they called “freckles.”

Walter had tried repeatedly to get me to free the girl, which was quite unlike him to favor a human. To say I was shocked when he had tried to break her free would have been an understatement. He had grown up here, a brother in every sense except blood. One of the few people I tolerated. I suppose he wasn’t thinking, his needs too primal in the middle of his shift but maddening nonetheless.

I watched him go to her as a stupid rat and climb all over her little body, and she obviously enjoyed his company.

What would it feel like if she looked at me that way?

Imagine his surprise when one day he crawled out to replace me. He told me wild theories of why she was different and that he couldn’t help it, that he needed to protect her. I nearly killed him then.

She was mine—my prisoner.

He told me he would leave her alone, begged me to return her to safety.

Seems he had other plans.

He had no idea what he was doing. A brat ever since my aunt died and dumped him here. He thought he would get her past the guards and take her to the hidden portal. It didn’t matter that he didn’t know where it was or how to use it.

He was a fool and would pay for his mistakes as soon as I saw him, if the human assassin hadn’t killed him first. That seemed unlikely. She trained with humans, so even as a skilled human assassin, Walter would easily over power her.

I silently moved behind her and waited.

Her shoulders shook with her sobs. The rain pulled away the gray dirt of her skin, and her red hair was matted in such a dense ball it presented a patch of her smooth neck.

My hand clenched involuntarily at the sight.

The memory of how soft her skin had felt under my fingertips clouded my mind. I itched to see if other parts of her were as soft.

My wings unfurled silently, stretching wide.

Shit.

I clenched my fists at my side.

I would never degrade myself by touching a human in such a way. They were the lowest scum created, and I refused to debase myself with the thought of how delicately soft her skin was.

I reveled in it. The moment she felt my presence behind her.

She turned, and pure terror filled her sweet doe eyes.

My breath caught tight in my chest at the sight of her. Thankfully it was controlled, not giving anything away. The rain and tears had stripped the dirt from her face.

Was this the same girl?

The night she had been sent to assassinate me was a blood moon, and darkness shrouded the creatures of the night everywhere they ventured. No matter what realm, everything was darker and harder to see during a blood moon. It’s why we had chosen that night. But with that cloak of darkness, I hadn’t been able to see her face quite like I could now, with some of the grime and mud not camouflaging her features.

She was incandescently beautiful.

The kind of beauty you hear of but never witness. The kind that crawls inside your mind and haunts you until it destroys everything and consumes your soul.

Upon seeing me, she cried out, shouting as if someone would come and help her.

Apparently, she still hadn’t realized no one was coming for her, nor would they ever.

She was mine now.

I was still frozen, caught up in watching her.

This would end now. This distraction would end now.

Angry, I stepped forward and grabbed her matted red hair.

“Please, you’re hurting me,” she cried.

Even the unique silkiness of her voice had crept inside my mind. I would rip her head from her shoulders for making me feel this way. Human filth.

“Why won’t you die?” I growled as my frustration caused my wings to pulse.

Her arm pushed against my thigh in an attempt to free herself. The touch simmered through my leathers and forced me to wonder what her fingertips would feel like.

What has happened to me?

I was the Unseelie prince, soon-to-be king. I felt nothing for humans other than hatred. What—

Walter slammed into me with force, knocking us all to the ground.

There he was, traitor.

I slowed myself and let him feel like he was in control. He wrapped his jaws around my throat with a deep growl, and I had to fight back a bloodthirsty smile.

This was what I knew. These were feelings I was familiar with.

Killing.

He was like a brother to me, yet here he crouched with his shifter teeth pressed against my neck. He had trained with me enough times to know better.

A yelp rang out as I slammed him to the ground with a grunt. That should shake him out of whatever delusion he held toward the human.

He knew better than most exactly how much I enjoyed inflicting pain on others.

His compassion and closeness to me were the sole reasons half of the people I ruled over hadn’t been slaughtered. Yet.

“After everything, you betray me,” I growled at him.

The idiot got up and moved his body in front of the girl’s, blocking her protectively as he snarled at me.

Something foreign rippled through my gut.

I didn’t like him near her, keeping her from me. It made me want to kill them both more.

She shouted something and ran to stand in front of him.

What the fuck? Why would she risk her life for his? He was weak but still much stronger than her.

“How sweet. The human protects you. I wonder how far she’s willing to go to save you, brother?”

I never played well with others, and apparently, I wouldn’t begin to now. If he thought he had a chance at taking something, anything, that was mine, then he desperately needed a reminder of who he was playing with.

I unfurled my fingers; my magic absolutely itched to see blood.

“No! Please let him go! Take me! It was my idea! I convinced him, it’s not his fault!” she shouted, running to Walter’s side.

What?

This human bitch was going to trade her life for a shifter she barely even knew. She’d only even been here a few weeks.

An ache pulsed through me.

Half the Unseelie realm would gladly die for me, but it would be from fear. Fear from me or whatever devastation would take them all once the Smoke Slayer was no longer here to protect them.

My fist clenched inadvertently.

My smoke snake wrapped around the wolf’s neck, drawing a gargled choking sound from him as it squeezed tightly.

“I must say, I thought it was very impressive the scheme you two worked out. Walter kills the bog while you fashion some sort of key? I’m just dying to hear all about it,” I said, a twitch of my fingers causing the smoke to tighten further around his neck. I wanted him to hurt.

I want everyone to hurt.

“Stop now! He had nothing to do with this! I killed the bog, I used the acid to soften the bone, I carved the key, and I escaped!” the tiny human cried, trying to break the smoke’s grip on Walter, but it was no use.

Her hands swatted through the smoke as if it wasn’t even there. That was stupid. Only Smoke Slayers commanded the smoke—didn’t they teach her anything during her training?

The girl bravely ran to me.

She was so small compared to us. She punched and kicked at my chest wildly. It was kind of . . . cute. I couldn’t help but laugh.

When was the last time I actually felt anything enough to laugh?

This was starting to get messy, and I needed to finish this.

“When you told me all of your theories about the human girl, I had no idea you meant to become a traitor with her,” I said, never removing my eyes from the choking wolf.

I could easily tell if he was lying; he was the closest thing I had to a friend.

I summoned my magic to bring him closer.

His eyes held an innocent gleam as I moved him in front of my feet.

Something more was going on, and I didn’t think he understood it enough to be capable of lying to me.

Shit.

The others were coming, their heartbeats flooding into my senses.

Well, I suppose now I’d have to be deceitful. At least until I found out more. I enjoyed killing. I enjoyed the way it made me feel, but I had very few people I could trust, and Walter had been one of them. It would be smart to learn more before I killed him.

Poor mother.

I grabbed Walter roughly by the scruff and lifted him over the roof’s edge. His eyes went so wide the whites made an appearance from panic.

Be calm. My eyes silently spoke to his, the way only those closest to you could interpret. I glanced dramatically back to where the queen and her cronies began filtering through the door. He glanced back with a small nod of understanding.

It was performance time.

Lightning flashed against the gray sky.

“Please! No! Stop!”

The girl was physically trying to pull me away from the ledge. Gods, she was beautiful.

And stupid.

A small smile tugged at the corner of my mouth before I fought it away.

Walter saw it and drew his furry brows together in confusion. I never smiled.

“Finish him or I will,” mother stated.

I rolled my eyes at her dramatics.

The queen stood in the center of the roof. I could see how conflicted she was. She was ruthless, but not to my extent. She liked Walter. Probably more than me, but reputation was everything here, and with such an audience, I knew she wouldn’t show an ounce of weakness, or they would use it against us.

“Mother dear. Why don’t you go back to your little party and let me handle this,” I said, still holding Walter over the ledge as I tightened my grip on him.

“Well, it is my sister’s child you hold over the portcullis,” she said matter-of-factly. “And had you truly taken care of it, my party wouldn’t have been ruined by a human.”

She crossed her arms. She was angry, and her magic strained against her fingers turning them black.

“As a matter of fact, had you truly taken care of it, my love, there would have been no more humans,” she trilled.

She despised humans. Possibly even more than the Seelie—maybe not.

She would do anything to ruin the Seelie since Queen Saracen had taken the throne.

Taking the human realm had been her idea. It burned her alive that the Seelie were granted access to the human realm and not us. That the Seelie were given something we weren’t. She let jealously rule her decisions. Another reason she was a weak queen. Emotions and feelings had no place here.

“Get back inside, now,” I commanded her, letting the tiniest wisp of power leak through my words. Enough that they would know I meant my words.

“Not until you finish the traitor and the human off. You see, my friends missed out on their dinner”—she looked the human over briefly—“and I feel I owe them some entertainment to make up for it,” she purred dramatically.

I wasn’t certain I was ready to give up my new toy just yet—I still needed to break it.

“I have all kinds of entertainment for you now, Mother.” I reached out and grabbed a handful of the human’s wet and matted hair.

She tried to slap me away. Cute.

“You see, I’ve just taken a new pet.” I looked back to Walter, his feet still dangling in the bottomless night sky.

With the slightest nod that he and only he could see, I spoke my message to him.

“Don’t worry, brother, I’ll take extra good care of her,” I whispered, heavy on the theatrics as I let my eyes take in her tight body.

He breathed a relieved sigh so deep I saw if from my peripherals.

Then, I opened my hand dramatically and dropped him.

I waited to feel something like a pit in my stomach, something like a feeling of regret, but as usual, nothing came. I shrugged, thinking surely I would have enjoyed that more. I usually loved dropping bodies from high places.

He didn’t even know I’d dropped him into the hidden portal.

For all he knew, I was killing him.

I stifled another smile at the thought of him landing in the golden seas. It was Seelie, the only place this portal traveled, hence why it was never used, and only about a handful of our line’s kings and queens had even known of it.

Mother and I did.

Now it was the human’s turn to die, and she would not be so lucky.

The sharp wail of the girl pierced the pitter-patter of raindrops, startling me.

Why did she cry for him?

I watched as her eyes seemed to morph, the sadness seemed to wrestle with fire, and for less than a second, I saw a flash of her darkness.

It was her who had killed the forest bog. I had no doubt now. Why did she continue to act so sweet and innocent when obviously capable of something so impressive as severing a man’s finger and carving it into a key?

My interest in the human flared dangerously. The thoughts of what darkness pulsed behind her large doe eyes were enough to cause a tightening of the leathers that covered my groin.

“Move her cage to my room,” I stated to the guards that hovered nearby.

I couldn’t seem to peel my eyes away from the dirty ball of flesh in front of me. I tightened my grip on her hair. What would my new pet look like after it had been given a bath? Curiosity slithered into my mind like a snake. A little fun before I killed her wouldn’t hurt me.

It would most definitely hurt her.

“Disgusting. I’d rather you throw her over the ledge too,” said the queen standing bored. She knew I had just dropped Walter into the portal—her heart rate had slowed significantly. “Have your fun, but make certain she’s dead before next week, or I will handle it.” She turned and walked through the doors, followed by her guards and the other Fae.

Despite the many mats, Callie’s hair felt soft in my grip. I felt each wet strand brush the underbelly of my palm like a caress. My grip loosened quickly. Poison may as well have rubbed against my hand.

“You’ve turned my best men against me. First Alistair, now Walter. Somehow my men have failed to kill you now three times. I will not,” I threatened.

I have never wanted to kill someone more in all my years. To be rid of this girl that has wriggled into my mind like a maggot. She was a human.