I Shouldn't Love Him
I Shouldn’t Love Him – Chapter 1

Liya’s point of view

It’s 7:00, my favorite time of the day.

The fresh wind hits my face deliciously, the birdsong carries me far away, my cigarette never leaves my fingers, all accompanied by my good cup of mint tea that I like.

I love sitting on the balcony, I love looking at the still deserted street and watching the sunrise. The calm calms me and terrifies me at the same time and I love that feeling.

I take a quick look at my watch…7:30! I blow loudly, if only I could prolong this moment of the day…

I put out my second cigarette and rush into my room. I put on my sneakers, tie my long red hair carelessly and I pick up my school bag from the bed. I’m finally ready.

I run down the stairs two by two and replace my mother in the living room looking at me in despair, moving her head from side to side.

—What did I do to have a tomboy for a daughter? my mother mutters to herself.

She always complains about my appearance, my t-shirt too baggy and my shapeless pants make her sick. I can’t help it if I like dressing like that, I don’t like dresses.

A 35 year old woman, my mother is very elegant, she dresses in skirts, heels, she likes makeup… in short, she is so beautiful that I am almost jealous.

— I’m going, mom… I say. I

k**s her cheek loudly, which makes her laugh.

— See you later, my darling.

I leave our little house and set off for the university, ready for a twenty minute walk. I arrive on time as always because I hate being late and attracting the attention of others. I rush to get to my little room, it’s my first year of law and today is my third day of classes, I admit that I’m still just as stressed. I don’t know anyone yet and I prefer to stay in my area.

The room gradually fills up and the teacher enters after 15 minutes late

. I’m concentrating on our first civil law class, or rather I’m trying to concentrate. The old professor’s class doesn’t motivate me, the gray walls around me make me nauseous and the small window suffocates me, all that to say that I don’t like this university.

Episode 1

Liya’s point of view

It’s 7:00, my favorite time of the day.

I never wanted to be there but I had to since I always wanted to study law. My mother alone can’t afford the best university in town and my little job as a waitress really doesn’t help.

I will never complain, for her I will bear all of this.

After my father died 3 years ago now, she managed to get back on her feet. Thanks to her, we managed to overcome this painful ordeal. A strong woman, that’s what she is.

The lessons are finally over, I rush outside with the bag on my back, I am extremely hungry.

I get home faster than bolt, my body is sweating, at noon the sun burns my poor skin.

I hurry to take a shower, quickly get dressed and heat up a slice of lasagna left over from last night.

I sit in front of the TV and watch a documentary on animals.

I can be very boring sometimes, which is probably why I have very few friends. In any case, loneliness doesn’t really bother me, on the contrary, since Dad left us I have withdrawn into

myself. I have changed…completely.

I jump when the front door suddenly opens. My mother appears

, I look at her with big eyes, not expecting to see her back so soon.

—Mom, what are you doing at this time? I ask, lost.

She closes the door behind her without looking at me, I sense her nervous.

— Um… I have an important dinner with colleagues this evening, I have to get ready. she replies.

I don’t know why but I feel that she doesn’t tell me everything.

– If you say so… I simply reply, shrugging my shoulders indifferently.

I finally leave the living room and go up to my room. I take a book from my shelf and jump on my bed.

absorbed in my reading I don’t see the time that has passed, I mark the page where I stopped and head towards the balcony, the sun set too early for my liking, I don’t really like the night, I replaces this darkness depressing, the silence is terrifying.

I go into my room, closing the window behind me.

I hear the sound of heels coming from the hallway, I rush to leave my room and my mouth is wide open when I pass Mom’s thin figure.

— Wow, you are beautiful! I exclaimed, whistling too loudly.

– There is ! she scolds me, smiling.

She turns around to let me admire her classy black dress

which makes her look super sexy!

— I wonder how you manage to walk in these heels that look more like stilts.

She smiles slightly then approaches me, placing her soft, warm hands on my frail shoulders.

— You’re a woman Liya, you have to make an effort, look at you, you’re so beautiful…, if you cared a little more… — It’s okay, mom, this discussion won’t lead anywhere… I cut her off.

Exasperated that she would bring this up again.

She sighs loudly at my response and she doesn’t persist, understanding my behavior.

— I might be late, sweetie.

– Okay, I hope your evening goes well.

She k****s my forehead and I take the opportunity to deeply inhale her pleasant and comforting scent. She then turns around to elegantly descend the steps.

She waves at me and leaves with a smile on her face.

..

I finally replace myself alone, I start to yawn until my jaw drops, I think I’d better go to bed.

I put on my pajamas, brush my teeth and go into my room.

I remove the elastic that traps my hair all day long and I sit down on my bed.

Quickly, to my greatest happiness, I joined the arms of Morpheus…