I Shouldn't Love Him
I Shouldn’t Love Him – Chapter 6

Liya’s POV

I go home and go up to my room.

— Liya, are you back? my mother shouts from her room.

— Yes, mom..

I take off my shoes and start to undress.

— Did your jogging go well? she asks, leaning against my door.

– Yeah very good… I answer bored.

—And where is he? You didn’t invite him in?

— He was in a hurry, mom..

I replace myself in my underwear in front of her, she looks at me, not at all happy with my answer. I rush into the bathroom to end his interrogation and lock myself inside.

I turn on the ice water and rush into the cabin, letting out a long sigh of satisfaction. God, I was terribly hot.

I soap my body taking my time and my hand lingers on my neck, I close my eyes for a moment, he is not there and yet I still feel the contact of his soft lips against my skin, his warm breath , the delicious smell that emanated from his body.

He does it on purpose, he knows he gets me all worked up and he takes advantage of it, he plays a dangerous game…I hate him.

The next day

It’s finally Monday. I woke up a long time ago.

Seeing that the time shows noon, I finally get up, I have to get ready for my first day of classes.

Every step I take, I insult Xavier with all the names, this damn jogging has done me more harm than good.

After satisfying my stomach, I take a look at my email, my schedule shows that I have class at 2 p.m. which suits me perfectly. I simply dress as usual, take my school bag and quietly leave the house.

As the faculty is quite far from my house I take the bus, I would still have preferred to walk.

About twenty minutes later, I finally arrive in front of the University and it is huge, I go inside in amazement. My heart beats much faster, I still can’t believe I was accepted.

After some information, I head towards the amphitheater which is huge.

I sit in front and patiently wait for the teacher to arrive. My phone vibrates in my pocket, I frown when I see that it’s a call from Xavier, what does this one want from me? I finally pick up.

– What do you want ? I asked bored.

— Hello Liya.

— Yeah, hello, then? ?

— What time do you finish your classes today?

— At 7 p.m. why?

“Okay, I’ll come get you.”

— No need to come, I can go home alone.

And he hangs up, aargh I hate not having the last word..

— Hello everyone, are you okay?

I rush to put my device away and give my full attention to the teacher.

This day was really long but I’m not disappointed, the teachers are relevant and very dynamic, it’s impossible to get bored.

I walk quietly, an idiot rushes at me, I scream in pain and replace myself propelled against the ground.

— Oh shit! My head .

My eyes widen when I realize that this idiot is crushing me with all his weight.

His face is against my neck, he slowly draws back, brushing against his growing beard.

His face is very close to mine and we can say that he is not bad at all, he scrutinizes me intensely which makes me uncomfortable.

— You are suffocating me..

— Oh! Excuse me.. he said awkwardly.

He finally gets up and helps me do the same.

— Can’t you watch where you’re stepping?

What does he detail for me from top to bottom? He doesn’t like my shapeless clothes?

— Stop scrutinizing me like that..

— I’m sorry, I was in a hurry and I didn’t see you.. he said with a charming smile, showing his perfectly white teeth.

– Yeah, that’s it . I mumble, picking up my school bag and turning my back on him.

– Wait… he calls out to me.

I barely turn around, give him a falsely apologetic look.

— Excuse me but I’m in a hurry.

And I leave without giving him time to respond. I head towards the exit, cross the small alley and continue on my way.

– Where are you going like that ?

His hoarse voice immobilizes me, I turn around and see him more beautiful than ever.

Leaning proudly against his magnificent car, he wears a black suit that fits him like a glove and he has a smile on his face which for some reason makes my heart rate accelerate.

This specimen has a f*****g effect on you, my poor Liya! Without further ado, he opens the door for me like a gentleman.

—Who told you that I would come with you?

An amused smile appears on his thin lips.

— I won’t hesitate to force you like last time and in front of all the other students.

I grunt with discontent and climb into his vehicle against my will under his satisfied look

. He gets in in turn and drives off without further delay.

– So how did it go ? He asks .

— Um very good.. I replied simply.

He takes the road opposite to mine.

—Why are you going this way?

— I’ll take you to my place.

Does he care about me? This man gets on my nerves.

— I won’t go to your house..

— Your mother will come and have dinner with us.. he said, ignoring what I said earlier.

– Make a U-turn !

And the only answer is that he accelerates even more.

My heart beats much faster, my hands become sweaty and I close my eyes.

— Slow down… I whispered.

He does what I ask and I can see his worried look on me.

– Everything is fine ? He asks .

I nod and resume normal breathing, I lean towards the window and ignore him the whole way. Since this damn accident, I avoid all kinds of transport and I prefer to walk.

“Make yourself at home, I’m going to change.” he said while undoing his tie.

I follow his gesture attentively and I imagine for a moment him untying his tie, then his jacket and undoing the buttons of his shirt one by one.

– There is ? He said, arching an eyebrow.

— Um yes, go ahead, I’ll wait for you.

He finally comes upstairs and I mentally slap myself for having had those thoughts towards him. Sitting comfortably on the couch, I look around me, how could he have a home like this? it’s so immense, what attracts all my attention is this magnificent piano. After a few minutes Mr. handsome guy comes down the steps and…I think he wants to bury me alive.

How can you be so sexy except in pajama bottoms and a white t-shirt?

I bite the inside of my cheek and try to look away.

— We will have dinner without your mother, she will be late.

I nod and see him heading towards the kitchen. I get up and join him.

– What are we eating ?

— Chinese salad and spring rolls, does that suit you?

— It’s perfect, a little helping hand?

– No, it’ll be fine, settle in, you’re my guest this evening.. he said, winking at me.

— They are very good..

Sitting in front of me, he watches me, enjoys and eats too.

During the meal, we talk very little. I focus more on my dish because it intimidates me too much.

— Thank you for this dinner.. I say, satisfied and lick my fingers covered

with sauce one by one.

I stare at him and remain frozen in the face of his intense gaze on my mouth. I slowly remove my index finger from my lips.

– Stop staring at me like that, it’s embarrassing, I said, red with shame.

He closes his eyes for a moment and throws me roughly.

— Never make this gesture in front of a man.

He doesn’t give me time to respond as he gets up and clears his plate.

– Stupid… I said in a low voice.

— I heard it right… he says from the kitchen.

I roll my eyes and help him clear the table.

— Let me do the dishes… I say, taking the plates he has in his

hands.

– I’ll make them later, you won’t touch anything” he protests, taking them from

my hands.

– As you wish.. I say, shrugging my shoulders without insisting.

he leaves the kitchen and I follow him.

— Do you play the piano?

— Yes, since you were very young… he says proudly.

— It’s interesting.

He is now facing his majestic piano, he sits down and taps the free space near it.

I don’t make me pray and sit down next to him.

— Do you know how to play? He asks in turn.

— Um, no, not really.

He smiles at me slightly and places his fingers on the keys.

— Is there a piece that you want to listen to in particular?

— Yes…k**s the rain.. I replied without hesitation.

He lowers his head and composes the first notes, I look at him attentively, his long fingers move gracefully, his closed eyes leave me admiring her perfectly long eyelashes, the muscles of her bare arms contract deliciously.

My eyelids close slowly and I let myself be carried away by this melody and its captivating smell that surrounds me. My father played this piece to me over and over again, he wanted to teach me to play but I ruined everything by claiming not to have the time and since his

death, it’s the thing I regret the most in the world… .I miss you terribly dad.

The melody stops suddenly but I don’t deign to open my eyes, I can’t escape, my cheeks are flooded with tears and he saw me weak.

I sniff loudly and try to calm down, I feel his warm breath as well as his particular and soothing smell against my face.

It’s only when his strong, gentle hands encircle my face that I open my eyes.

His thumbs delicately wipe away the shed tears like a gentle caress, this contact completely electrifies me.

I let him do it in silence and close my eyes for a moment to deeply feel the softness of his palms.

But yet in the next second, I jump violently at the doorbell ringing in the room which brings me back to reality,…

Xavier gets up awkwardly, apologizing.

—- I’m going to go get some air, I said, avoiding his gaze.

I rush towards the big window and replace myself outside facing a huge garden, there is not enough light and that suits me.

I start walking, breathing in the fresh air, and start breathing normally.

I turn around slightly and see them kissing tenderly, for some reason this vision annoys me.

I blow loudly and continue my walk when I see a huge swimming pool, I take off my shoes without hesitation, I roll up my pants and delicately dip my feet into the water.

Tonight is the full moon, I look at it with a smile on my face and I try to put my mind in order. I don’t know how long I stayed like that but it did me

a lot of good, finally I got up, left this magical atmosphere and rushed inside.

I walk into the living room and see my preschooler lying completely on top of Xavier and quietly watching what I assume is a

romantic movie. I grimace inwardly.

– I think I’m going to go back, I said to get their attention.

– Why honey ? You can sleep here, it’s already late and that doesn’t bother Xavier at all,” she said.

— Of course, I have two free rooms, you can stay.

— No, I really prefer to go back.

My mother sighs annoyed but I I don’t care, I absolutely don’t want to stay here.

— I’ll accompany you then.. He said.

— Thank you my love, in that case I’ll wait for you in your room.. she whispers.

He whispers to her. gives a chaste k**s on the lips, I approach her and take her in my arms while wishing her good night.

Xavier takes the keys to his car and we leave his home.

He heads towards the parking lot but I stops him. — Can we walk please? I asked uneasily.

He looks at me for a long time, he puts his keys in his pocket, turns his back to me and starts walking, motioning for me to do so. follow.

I smile happy that he didn’t ask me any questions and rush to follow his steps.

We walk in silence, he takes a step ahead of me and looks straight ahead. His hands are in his pants pockets.

His broad shoulders, his tanned and well-muscled arms, his messy hair… Everything, Everything about him is attractive.

“Hurry up, young lady,” he orders, giving me a look over his shoulder.

I immediately comply and walk alongside him, I would have liked to continue fantasizing about his perfect body. I nervously hug my backpack against me, the silence is starting to get heavy.

“Give me your bag,” he said.

I frown and meet the beautiful blue of his eyes. I try to look straight ahead and answer him:

– It’s not heavy you know… heyy… I exclaim when he tears it off without difficulty.

He displays a winning smile and throws my poor little bag on his shoulder.

I exhale loudly and roll my eyes.

— Let’s go that way, it’s a lot quicker… I said.

He nods and we let ourselves be carried away by the calm of the night

– Do you have a boyfriend? he asks after a long silence.

I look at him surprised by his unexpected question.

– It’s none of your business…

– I doubt a girl like you would be in a relationship… he murmurs.

—What do you mean a girl like me? A tomboy ? I said angrily.

— I wanted to talk about your character, only the brave will take the first step to approach you. And for your style of clothing, it makes you mysterious, we only want to know what is hidden under his loose clothes… he whispers, winking at me.

Oh shit! I think I’m blushing.

— Pervert..

— You blush easily, tell me, am I the one who has this effect on you? It’s pleasant” he said leaning in my direction.

I quickly push him away by his incredibly hard shoulders, destabilized by his proximity, which makes a smile appear on his lips.

– Not at all, don’t be so sure of yourself, you are not the least attractive in the world..

His smile disappears in the blink of an eye, he looks to his right with a frown.

— What is it?” I asked, looking in the same direction as him but with the darkness I couldn’t see much.

Suddenly he grabs my hand and pulls me closer to him until our arms brush.

No . Does he feel all the shivers that run through me at this simple touch? I hope not .

– Let me go… I said, trying to remove my hand from his grip.

— Don’t ever take this shortcut alone, Liya,” he growls harshly.

I look everywhere and I can barely see a group of men, my heart starts to beat faster. These little dark alleys..this shortcut..this night when I was attacked comes back to my memory…and instinctively I squeeze Xavier’s hand.

— Don’t be afraid, they won’t try anything. He reassures me.

—How are you so sure? I whispered in a tone that was intended to be calm.

He doesn’t say anything and we continue on our way with our hands intertwined. It’s so nice to feel protected by a man, a real man!

An athletic body, an imposing size, yeah this man has everything a normally built woman wants.

And in this moment I envy my mother…a lot.

— Liya stop staring at me like that and if you continue to shake my hand like

that you risk crushing it. I don’t see why you’re still afraid, these men are far away now… he whispers in his hoarse and reassuring voice.

— I didn’t have time to be afraid to tell you everything with a specimen like you at my side, I was rather busy fantasizing about your Apollo body… I wanted to say.

But instead, I stay silent.

We arrived soon. the alleys are now well lit and I don’t let go of his hand. I don’t try to remove it either because I admit that I like its touch, its large palm is so soft and firm. its wild scent teases my nostrils, how can it always smell so good?

– I don’t have any… I said suddenly.

– How ? he asks lost.

– I do not have a boyfriend .

I don’t know but I had to tell him, he looks at me somewhat surprised and I bite the inside of my cheek uncomfortably.

— they are all blind so on the other hand if you were older and if I had met you before your mother I absolutely wasn’t going to let you slip away.. he said in a teasing tone.

— Correction if you were younger in any case it would be wasted since you are not at all my type…

— you offend me there.

He ruffles my hair as if he’s gotten used to it, I quickly push his hand away and stick my tongue out at him like a child.

He slows down and I realize that we are already at home, the weird thing is that I wanted to prolong this little moment.

— How are you going to get back? I ask when we arrive at my door.

— I think I’m going to take a taxi, your mother must have been waiting for me for a while. he said, lightly scratching his growing beard.

I nod as I return. I wanted to say a simple good night but I’m doing something else that I really want. Without him expecting it, I approach him, stand on tiptoe, taking his hard shoulder for support, and place my lips against his prickly cheek due to his beard.

I feel him freeze immediately, I wanted to peel myself away from his skin but he quickly puts his arm around my waist as if to still hold me against him. this gesture surprises me and completely electrifies me, my cheek is against his

and without embarrassment he inhales my scent deeply, I don’t know why he does it, it destabilizes me enormously.

Is it normal for him to do it to the daughter of the woman he loves?

No, this is anything but normal, I push him back slightly and move away from his grip.

— Thank you for coming with me, good night. I said looking at him somewhat embarrassed.

— Good night Liya,” he whispers with a clenched jaw.

I take the keys out of my bag and unlock the door, I slip in, before closing it I see him a few steps away staring at me intently. I shyly wave to him

. the hand he answers with a smile on the corner.

I close the door and lean against it with my hand against my chest.

But damn why do my beats

speed up in his presence? It’s stupid!

I take a take a long breath and lazily go up to my room.

I undress and put on my old favorite candy pink pajamas which are awful but are more comfortable, Well what? Don’t lie we all have a pyiama with whom we are inseparable. After

having brushed my teeth I throw myself on my bed exhausted by this tour.

This night, intense blue eyes haunted me during my sleep.

The sun rises timidly, today I replace that the sky is cloudy and the wind blows a not very strong which makes my ponytail fly in all directions.

I take one last drag on my cigarette before putting it out.

I take a look at the still deserted street, when a beautiful car arrives from afar, I recognize it as Xavier’s, he parks just below, he exchanges a languorous k**s with my nursery school, this one comes down just after and rushes inside.

I see Mr. handsome guy pass a hand over his magnificent face, he raises his head in my direction and at the same moment pushes him back against the wall and rushes me inside, my heart beating.

Hopefully he hasn’t seen me, especially not in this outfit.

I decide to get dressed, black pants and a navy blue t-shirt will do the trick, I have barely finished putting on my shoes when my phone flashes indicating the arrival of a new message.. .Xavier!

— Nice pajamas.

Yeah for sure, he saw me, shame!! I huff loudly and roll my eyes, what an idiot!

I prefer to ignore it and put my phone in my pocket. I take my school bag,

seems to be in a very good mood, no need to tell you who is the cause.

– Hello my dear .

— Hello mom… I said, kissing her.

She rushes into her room and I rush out, if I don’t hurry I risk missing my bus.

Luckily I arrived in time, I enter my room which is half full and sit down like yesterday right in front.

— Hello… I greeted a mixed race woman just to my left.

— Hello… she said with a smile.

I take out my binder and a pen under the curious gaze of my neighbor.

— Actually, it’s Inaya, she introduces herself.

— Liya, delighted, I say, holding out my hand which she shakes.

— You’re new if I’m not mistaken.

— Yes, I started yesterday… I replied.

— I see, so you don’t have the lessons… wait” she says while taking a computer out of her bag.

— Do you have a USB key? she asks.

I nod, I rummage in my bag looking for the key but I can’t replace it anywhere.

– In fact, I think I forgot it” I said shyly.

— Don’t worry, give me your email address and I’ll send them to you.

— Thank you very much, you really help me. I said

– Let’s see, it’s normal.. she said, winking at me.

We then exchange a few small talk until the teacher arrives.

After a few hours of lessons, we finally have our lunch break.

Inaya joins some of her friends and I prefer to stay alone. I head outside and sit on a bench, I take out my sandwich and

eat with gusto without worrying about the looks the other students may give me.

I take out my tablet and open my mailbox to check the lessons that Inaya kindly sent me.

I raise my head when I feel someone looking at me. I was not mistaken, not far from me is the man who rushed at me yesterday, his friends are in the middle of a discussion but he is staring at me strangely.

I look down, disturbed by the expression on his face, and just eat my sandwich.

After a little while, I glance at his group of friends but I don’t see him anywhere.

— Are you looking for someone…?