I Shouldn't Love Him
I Shouldn’t Love Him (Book 2) – Chapter 71

LAKE

I woke up before anyone else, even Hannah, and sat up in bed. My hair had dried but was tangled from my midnight bath. And from Manning’s hands. The memory, only six hours fresh, made my stomach tighten. So that’s what it was all about. That was why Tiffany was always flirting with boys. Mouths. Hands. Hardness and softness. Adrenaline.

We almost got caught. We had almost gone too far. To be enveloped in Manning, to belong to him – I didn’t see how that could ever be far enough away.

The early morning light cast shadows around the cabin, over the sleeping girls. It was our last morning, and I never wanted it to end, but still, I smiled.

“Hey,” Hannah whispered, her eyes puffy as she smiled back at me.

“Did you go anywhere last night?”

“No,” I said immediately.

“For what?”

“I woke up and you weren’t there.

“Maybe I was seeing things.

“I was here. I went to the bathroom, but that’s it.

She sighed. “It’s so quiet right now. Should we wake them up?

“Only if we want to send them home with what they brought. Gary wants us to start packing before breakfast. Some girls were getting agitated.

“Again, this is our last day. What is he going to do ? Send us home? »

I opened my sleeping bag.

Hannah sat, piling her mass of hair on top of her head, watching me move around the cabin.

I put on The Bodyguard soundtrack and sang “I’m Every Woman.” Some of the girls laughed. They woke up confused but smiling, just like Hannah and I had.

Hannah stood up too. In drawstring pants and t-shirts, we ran outside and started shaking our h**s.

“Are you seriously going to make us dance alone?” I called.

The girls were crawling out of their beds and rushing outside like ants from a hill. Someone put on the music. Another booth yelled at us to shut up, but we continued dancing. It was a beautiful morning, and I was filled with memories of last night. Brimming with the possibilities of what was to come. For the first time since Manning and I had met, my feelings felt validated. Maybe Manning couldn’t say what he felt, but it was there in his eyes, his touch.

Once the girls were exhausted, Hannah and I accompanied them to Reflection. We took the path to the clearing at the same time as cabin 9. Manning’s hair stood up in every direction. He had dark circles under his eyes, probably like me. We fell into step next to each other and slowed down, lagging behind. “Your hair is a mess,” he told me.

“I haven’t washed it yet.”

“Aren’t you afraid something will grow in there?”

I laugh softly. “I wouldn’t mind if it did. A souvenir.”

Manning gave me a look I recognized. He was going to scold me. I pretended to close my lips again and he seemed satisfied. “Oh, before I forget.” I reached into my pocket. “I made you something in arts and crafts.”

“Me?” He asked.

I showed her a brown, orange and forest green wax bracelet that I had woven earlier in the week.

He snatched it from my palm, twisting it between his fingers. “What is this?”

“A friendship bracelet. But I thought about it this morning, and . . I don’t think that should be it for us.

Manning slowly raised his eyes to mine, peering at me from under his long dark eyelashes. “Lake . .”

“Every time you want a cigarette, look at the bracelet.”

“And?”

“And think of me. You seem really good at not smoking in front of me, so pretend I’m there. You always want stop, right?”

Manning inspected the bracelet, swallowing. “No one ever gives me anything,” he said. “Especially no jewelry.” “

I tried to choose manly colors . They reminded me of you. I smiled. “But you don’t have to wear it. Just keep it in your pocket or something.

He scratched his jaw. “And when I feel like smoking, I take it out and look at it?”

I nodded. “And think about me.”

He seemed to be thinking about it. “It looks small.”

I stopped walking and took the bracelet. The clasp was adjustable, so I pulled it as wide as possible. Manning held out his hand and I placed it on him.

As I did so, he looked at the bracelets stacked all along my wrist. “You have a lot of friends.”

“But I only made one bracelet.”

“Where’s the gold one?” » He asked. “I left it at home.

I could have lingered there all morning, brushing my fingers over his strong, tanned forearm. He didn’t exactly make a move to leave either. But another cabin appeared behind us: Tiffany and her daughters. Not only were they on time, but they were also on a straight line.

I tightened the bracelet and took my hand again. Manning shook his head. “After last night, I promised myself I’d never be alone with you again. Yet here we are, not even seven hours later. “

We’re not alone,” I remarked. “Everyone is here.”

“I have something I want you to have too,” he told me, looking at Tiffany. “But I’ll give it to you later.”

I smiled. The fact that I had no idea what it could even be made me even more dizzy. “Later then.”

We all found our seats in the stands and Gary waited up front. As it was the last morning, the children took a little longer to settle in. “Hello,” Gary greeted the group. “You should already know the drill, campers. Close your eyes. Breathe in the morning. Appreciate your existence. Let’s all say thank you for such a beautiful day.

“Thank you,” I whispered along with everyone else.

“For a fun and active week.”

“Thank you.”I felt eyes on me, so I opened mine. It was him, bracelet replaceer, cigarette hoarder, Pink Floyd beast man. For the first time I knew, he had looked at me during Reflection.

“It’s important to spend time outdoors,” Gary said, “to enjoy all that Mother Nature has given us.”

Manning looked three times the size of anyone around him. He was significantly taller than Kirk, his teenage co-advisor. Gary too, who had a great presence but was actually quite nervous. No one could compare to Manning. It was a bear in the mountains. My big bear. One day he would be mine; I already felt he was, I just couldn’t say it. But he knew. I knew.

We looked at each other until Gary cleared his throat. He was looking at us, so I closed my eyes again and he continued. “Sometimes we get consumed by the TV or get caught up in issues that don’t matter. Sometimes we let our friends and family dictate our mindset. When you wake up tomorrow, even if you are at home, continue this practice of being grateful for what you have and for the gift of the day to come. Be calm. Be grateful.”

“I will be grateful,” we all said in unison.

“This morning, we’re going to go around and say what our favorite part of this experience was. Take a few moments to think about the week before opening my eyes. Where to begin? There have been so many moments I wouldn’t trade for the world. Last night, for one. Riding with Manning. And perhaps my favorite of all, our time under the stars as he showed me the constellations. But it wasn’t like I could say anything.

Seeing the girls looking at me this week made me feel like I had grown up a little, unlike last year when I still felt like one of them. I had enjoyed getting to know Hannah and even spending time with my sister. It was exciting to stand in front of the crowds and perform skits at the nightly campfires.

A murmur ran through the camp. When it got louder, I opened my eyes. Two police officers stood at the edge of the clearing, near the woods. One had his thumbs hooked on his belt, the other crossed his arms. My stomach dropped as I immediately thought of last night. I looked at Manning. He was talking to a child but his eyes were fixed on the officers.

Gary had his back to them, so he continued. “Counsellors, discuss the week with your cabins and decide what moments you would like to share with the camp. Then we’ll go around and…” When he noticed he’d lost our attention, Gary looked over his shoulder, but only briefly. “We’ll go around and. . share with the group. Lexi, take over for a second? I stopped breathing. Moments earlier, I had breathed in the beauty of the day. Expel negativity, as Professor Sal had said. Now I couldn’t even feel my mouth, my lungs, my hands. Just my heart pounding against my ribcage. The cops were there. Surely it had nothing to do with Manning and me, but I couldn’t ignore the coincidence. Last night was the first time I was close to getting in trouble with the police, and they were back.

I looked to Manning for clues. He stood straight. Only his eyes moved as he watched Gary cross the dirt towards the police officers.

Lexi took Gary’s place, but everyone ignored her.

“What is going on?” one of my campers asked.

“Nothing.” It came out as a whisper. Gary and the officers turned to look at us. All of us. Not me. Maybe me? Then they closed their circle, speaking with their heads bowed.

“Lake?”

“Hmm?” I blinked, looking at the sea of ​​worried faces beneath me.

Hannah rubbed one of the girls’ backs. “I’m sure it’s nothing,” she said, but she whispered to me, “Why are they here?” »

Manning wasn’t looking at me, but I needed him to look at me. I hadn’t seen the officer last night, but he looked younger than the two cops standing there. Bucky appeared out of nowhere, shuffling his feet as if he had literally been dragged out of his bed. Behind him came a few other permanent staff members who I recognized but couldn’t name. Manning finally turned to me and slowly shook his head. No, I could only guess what he meant. Don’t look at him. Do not say anything. Don’t act suspiciously. To show him that I was adult enough to handle this, I took a well-deserved deep breath, tore my gaze away from him and turned to my daughters.

“I think I know what happened,” I said solemnly.

Eight pairs of eyes widened. “What?”

“Someone snuck candy into the cabin, even though Gary warned us not to.”

Hannah clapped a hand over her mouth. “Will they arrest the culprit?

“Maybe.” I smiled. My face was stiff. I felt like I could throw up at any moment. “I tried to tell you guys.”

Some of the girls gasped. “We didn’t. We cursed.

“Then you have nothing to worry about,” Hannah said.

“It was probably the boys’ cabins,” I said.” They always pull stupid pranks.”

“It must have been Manning,” Hannah said.

I looked at her. “Why would you say that?”

She nodded over my shoulder. I turned. Gary turned. headed towards cabin 9 as the cops retreated into the woods. I reached out to steady myself on something and Hannah was the closest. “

Are you okay?” she asked when I grabbed his arm. It was bad. They knew. Gary knew. Manning and I hadn’t even done anything, but would anyone believe us? What would they think, knowing that Manning and I had spent a few hours outside the campsite in the middle of the night? I wanted to go listen to what Gary had to say, but my feet felt like concrete, as if Manning’s withering gaze had stuck me to the spot. And everyone in the camp was watching.

Including Tiffany.

The girls were giggling and laughing. They whispered to each other, excited by the distraction. “I have Skittles in my bag, but my brother said bears don’t eat them.”

Gary said something to Manning. The entire exchange lasted only a few seconds. Then he came back to relieve Lexi of the work she hadn’t done. “Okay, everyone. Calm. It’s not much.” He smiled, but behind it, in his eyes, I felt something was wrong. “Where were we?”

Manning wasn’t in the cafeteria. Neither was Gary. .I made myself a plate of food but didn’t touch it. When breakfast was almost finished and it became clear that Manning wouldn’t show up, I asked Hannah to take over and I went to get them.

The camp was empty, over a hundred children crowded into the mess hall. I went straight to cabin nine and felt a bit of relief to see Manning up front. He was talking to someone in the cabin.

I recognized Gary’s voice. “…last night…alcohol. How come…what took so long?

I went through a pile of leaves and Manning turned around. He shook his head. “Give us a minute, Lake.” “Why are the police here?” I asked. Gary walked up to the front porch

. “We manage it.”

I ignored it. “Manning?” »

He sighed, facing Gary again. “I need a second to talk to him.”

“We don’t have a second.”

“She’s Tiffany’s sister, dude.”

Gary raised his hands. “I’m just saying you probably don’t want to keep them waiting.”

Manning left him there, motioning for me to follow.

When we were out of earshot, he stopped. His eyes scanned our immediate area, and when he seemed satisfied that we were alone, he spoke in a low voice. “It’s okay. I just need you to promise me one thing.

Good didn’t sound good. It sounded bad. I wanted to be strong, but my legs were about to give out. “Why? What’s going on?”

He went to put a hand on my shoulder but stopped. “Do you trust me?”

I nodded. No hesitation.

“So trust me when I say, it’s nothing.” He looked over my head as he spoke. “The reason the cops are here has nothing to do with you.” “What about you?”

“

J I just need you to promise.” He brought his eyes back to mine. As if he had some sort of power over me, my heart rate calmed. I would promise him anything, because Manning would protect me. I knew that. But who would would protect? “Don’t tell anyone about last night. It doesn’t matter what. If anyone asks where you were, lie and make it damn convincing. “

But-“

“Did Hannah hear you come in? One of the girls?

“No. Yes—Hannah. But I told him I was in the bathroom. “Last night, after the party, you went straight to your cabin and fell asleep. Then you woke up this morning. If you feel the need to tell the truth, don’t do it without talking to me first.

“But why?” I begged. “Why would anyone ask me where I was?”

“They won’t. I won’t let them. Your only job is to protect yourself. Mine is to protect us both. Now go get your sister for me.

I recoiled as if I had been slapped, my face tingling. “My sister”

“Send her here alone. Fast. I do not have a lot of time.

“No. You can’t just tell me that and send me away. Where are you going?”

“They’re taking me to the station. It’s nothing, Lake, but if you open your mouth, it could become something. Understand?”

He wasn’t in trouble. I had to trust that. But he was right – it didn’t matter that nothing happened last night, we were the only two who knew for sure. I don’t couldn’t think of a coherent answer so I just nodded.

“Come on,” he said. I wanted something. Anything. A k**s. A hug. I would have taken a pat on the back. All I got was a hard look. “It’s an adult thing,” he said, his jaw ticking. “You are too young.”

His words were as sharp as knives, and they cut deep. Even after last night, I was still a child to him. Immature. Not being entrusted with important things. I swallowed hard to keep from crying like the baby he already thought I was. And then I went to get Tiffany.