In My Desperate Time -
Chapter 210 Are You Crazy?
This fact shocks me too much.
Refusing to give up until all hope is gone, I test it again with the other pregnancy test stick. There are still two lines!
I'm pregnant!
The news was like a thunderbolt out of a clear sky.
Why is God pulling a trick on me when I learn that there is no future with Frances?
I have never experienced something like this before, and I really don't know what to do.
I put the two pregnancy test sticks in the bag carefully. Then I send a text message to Mindy as I leave the bathroom.
"I'm pregnant, Mindy."
Just then, I count down in my heart.
As expected, when I count to one, Mindy calls me on the phone.
"Are you kidding me, Jane Noyes? You are really pregnant? With whose baby?"
The corners of my mouth twitches as I say without emotion, "Whose else can it be besides Frances?"
There is no one in the office at the moment, so I don't have to cover up when I talk.
"Are you crazy?! Why weren't you on the pills? Don't you know you should use protection? Smart women know that they should use protection. Otherwise, your boyfriend will be angry." Mindy is sneering at me on the phone. No doubt I know how to use protection, but Frances threw away all the pills. And he never wears condoms. I was so busy that I forgot to take after-pill.
And here comes the aftermath.
"It's meaningless to talk about it now. The question is, what should I do?"
"Get an abortion. Frances will drag you to the hospital and force you, even if you don't do it yourself. You really believe that he would let you give birth to his child? He is going to have a baby with his wife, not you." Mindy's words undoubtedly hurt me like knife but also make me more sensible.
She is right. Frances probably would not keep this child. And Whitney would definitely not allow my child to be born. I might as well kill my baby by myself, rather than worrying about something unexpected might happen to him. Although it is cruel, it is the best result for the child.
"I understand. I will go to the hospital for the abortion."
I whisper to Mindy while feeling blue.
It breaks my heart to think of this child I never meet.
The kinship I miss since childhood makes me have a deep affection for this baby even though I just replace out his presence.
"Who are you going with? By yourself?" Mindy asks.
"Do I have a choice?" I answer with a wry smile.
I don't have any friends, and it is impossible to go with my mother. So, I have to do this by myself.
"You are out of your mind! What if something happens during the abortion? It is best to have someone accompany you. Never mind, I'm flying back tonight. I need to be there for you."
I am very moved by Mindy's words.
She really is my best friend. I think she is probably the only warmth I can feel in this world.
"Thank you, Mindy."
I whisper to her.
There are people speaking coming from outside. It seems like everyone is back from lunch break.
"What are you talking about? Share the love for your child with my child then. You can't get away with it, godmother."
"Okay. I'm going to grab a bite. Talk to you later."
After that, I hang up.
I pack my things and prepare to return to Louis' house after getting off work.
It feels really amazing that suddenly there is a tiny baby in my belly. Although I already decide not to keep him, every step I take is extremely cautious. This feeling is beyond language.
No matter how unwilling I am to give up on this child, I must be responsible for his future. I can't get rid of Frances for the time being, so keeping him will only harm him.
When I am waiting for the bus outside the company, a figure opposite gets my attention.
The employment agency is opposite my company. The man in suit who is looking for a job is Noah!
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