By the time we get to my place, he’s opted to carry all the bags, leaving me to deal with the cat. As soon as I open the carrier, she darts out, heading straight for the sofa.

Gareth all but jumps behind me, dropping all the bags on the floor. “Motherfucking bitch!”

I throw my head back and laugh.

“It’s not that funny,” he grumbles, peeking out from behind me as the kitten hides under the sofa.

But, really, I love how he’s holding on to my waist, even if it’s to use me as a shield, he’s touching me without trying to choke, knife, or tase me.

Baby steps, right?

“It’s hilarious. Who knew the great Gareth Carson would be terrified of a tiny kitten?”

“She can do serious damage.”

“Oh, I’m sure. A real threat to humanity.”

“Stop laughing, Kayde! I mean it.”

He says that and yet he’s ogling me, as if he’s mesmerized.

He has these instances where he just looks at me, his lips parted and ears flushing a bit. I don’t think he’s aware of it, and I don’t want to draw attention to it or he’ll stop doing it.

As the laugh dies out, I face him. “I’ll give her some more food. Want to help?”

“No, thanks. I’ll go change.” He all but bolts in the direction of the bedroom.

Shaking my head, I set up a temporary litter box and put out food and water. The kitten, now a curious ball of energy, emerges from her hiding spot to eat before exploring her surroundings.

Meanwhile, I heat some milk and make Gareth a cup of his new strawberry hot chocolate.

A few moments later, Gareth comes out of the bedroom wearing black shorts and a white tee. He started leaving his stuff around after that time I first fucked him. He has a whole section in my closet now, and he keeps adding all his things to it.

Not that I mind.

He’s been around regularly for about two weeks, and in the span of that time, he’s been ordering all sorts of unnecessary stuff online that he uses once or twice, then loses interest.

It’s in his innate nature to get easily bored. Nothing can hold his interest for too long. Not possessions. Not relationships.

Not people.

Once something becomes ordinary, he just drops it.

Which is why his disappearance the past few days started a niggling doubt. He can’t possibly be bored of me.

He’s too obsessed with me, possessive of me, and—he would never admit this—craves my approval and affection too much.

So I need to figure out the reason behind the change.

My gaze follows him, admiring his form while he searches around for the cat.

“She’s behind the curtains,” I say.

“I don’t care.” He flops onto the sofa and I place the cup in front of him as he opens Netflix.

He’s been watching a lot of Korean dramas and shows lately, even while he scoffs at how ridiculous they are. But he still asks his cousin—Maya, I believe—for recs. I realized it’s because he’s trying to communicate with Ma Jina.

She said he sometimes sends her ridiculous Korean texts, and I don’t know why that made me smile.

Gareth takes an absentminded sip from the hot chocolate as he clicks on the show he was watching here three days ago. I don’t really watch TV and only got it and Netflix because he was complaining about the lack of both like a spoiled brat.

But seeing him so comfortable and natural in my space is worth it.

“Strawberry-flavored hot chocolate?” he asks, his eyes lighting up.

“How do you like it?”

“It’s amazing. Where’d you even replace this?”

“Just stumbled across it.”

“Thanks—motherfucker!”

The kitten jumps onto his lap, startling him so badly, he nearly spills the drink.

“Ah, fuck, Kayde, get her off!”

I suppress a smile. “Relax and behave while I go change.”

“No, seriously. I’ll let you choke me with your cock if you just take her away.”

My dick twitches at the offer, but I play it cool. “Tempting. I’ll think about it.”

“Kayde!”

Chuckling, I step away, pretending to leave. Behind me, Gareth mutters curses under his breath, clearly unsure how to handle the kitten.

Eventually, I hear him mumbling, “Asshole.”

I’m by the corner, my dick seriously questioning why I’m sacrificing his well-being just to help Gareth work on his issues with animals.

He lacks some empathy toward them and that’s not good. It’s textbook criminal ASPD behavior, and I need him to be different from those monsters.

“Okay, little demon, what’s your deal?”

A loud meow answers him, and he sighs begrudgingly.

“Oh, hell no. Also, Mom said milk isn’t good for cats.” He tries to push her away and she falls, but then she climbs back up on his T-shirt.

“I guess a bit won’t hurt.”

He pours a small amount of hot chocolate into his palm and lifts it toward her. She laps it up eagerly, her tiny pink tongue darting out.

For a moment, Gareth looks…soft. His shoulders relax, and he carefully strokes her head, as if testing the waters. “You won’t scratch me, right?”

I smile and disappear into the bedroom, answer some texts, especially from my nephew—while I ignore my brother’s—and then I change into PJ bottoms.

When I finally join him again, Gareth is lying on his back on the sofa with the kitten curled up on his chest, purring loudly.

He looks up and his lips part, then he swallows thickly, his Adam’s apple bobbing. It’s because of the glasses he’s gawking at me. Ever since I noticed he wouldn’t stop staring at me when I wear them, I started putting them on more often.

The other day, I fucked him while wearing them, and he was extra noisy. Well, until they fogged up and I had to remove them.

“Be quiet. She’s asleep,” he mutters.

“What happened to not wanting her near you?”

“She’s okay, I guess. Purrs like an engine for such a tiny thing.”

“Should I keep her?”

His expression brightens briefly before he schools it into indifference. “I don’t care.”

“What should I name her, Mr. I Don’t Care?”

“Moka,” he says without hesitation.

“Mocha?”

“The European spelling, with a K instead of a ch. She’s black with brown eyes. It fits.”

“Moka it is, then.”

I sit on the edge of the sofa beside him, sliding my hand over his chest as I lean in. “You did well tonight.”

“It’s not that serious,” he mumbles, attempting to sound casual, but his chest hums beneath my touch. He does love my approval. It turns him into a docile kitten.

He also really hates it when I scold him.

Which is why I’m using those two edges to tame him better, balance his unhinged personality so he doesn’t commit any impulsive actions.

This wasn’t in the cards when I first got to know him, but now it’s my mission. Someone like Gareth needs a more emotionally mature and strict person by his side to keep him in check, otherwise he’d eventually spiral.

He has this calm expression when he looks at me now, almost content.

“Does that mean no choking on my cock tonight?”

“Nah, missed your chance.” His dimples flash, and I can’t stop myself from grinning as I settle in beside him.

“There’s not enough room. Just go sit on the chair,” he grumbles as I move closer.

“Scoot over.”

I push him slightly, sliding one arm beneath his nape and the other over his chest, throwing a leg over his in a sideways hug. He’s so warm, and his scent—bergamot and something uniquely Gareth—wraps around me like a drug.

He releases a low grumble, tapping my arm. “It’s hot.”

“You’re the one who’s hot.”

“Corny,” he mutters, coughing slightly to hide his smile.

“It still worked.” I study the sharp line of his jaw and the freckles scattered over his nose. My fingers replace the hem of his shirt sleeve, lifting it just enough to trace the inked arrows on his arm.

“What do these mean? Is it about your love for archery?”

“Yes and no.” He stares at the ceiling, his expression clouding. “Do you know what crossed arrows symbolize?”

“Balance between opposing forces? Maybe it’s about how you balance your public and private personas?”

“Not quite. My personality bleeds into every part of my life anyway.” He lets out a small exhale. “The arrows remind me that no matter how tightly I try to hold everything in place, chaos is always lurking beneath the surface. It’s not about weakness or lack of discipline. It’s the tension and the constant pull between staying in control and being drawn to the uncontrollable. Think of it as a paradox, a memento that I’m never as in charge as I want to be.”

I stroke the pad of my thumb along the arrowhead, absorbing his words. I didn’t think it had that deep of a meaning. “Am I one of the things you can’t control but can’t help being drawn to?”

“Stop being so full of yourself,” he scoffs, though his gaze softens. He flicks a glance at my chest. “What about your tattoo?”

“It’s about rebirth.”

“Rebirth? Not danger?”

“No.” I let my fingers skim the ink. “A snake shedding its skin represents survival and growth. Power through transformation. It’s about staying fluid, adapting, and never getting too comfortable.”

He falls silent, his hand drifting to the edge of the lily inked on my side. His touch is hesitant and it burns even though he’s not touching the lily. He pulls away, returning to petting the purring kitten on his chest.

He’s always like this—fine with being bent, tied, or dominated in every way, but hesitant about simple gestures of affection. It’s as though touching me too freely will cost him something he’s unwilling to give. The only reason he’s still touching my arm that he tried to remove from his chest earlier is probably because he forgot it’s there.

“What about the lily?” he asks, breaking the silence.

“I’ve always admired its strength and how it blooms under the harshest conditions.”

He hums softly, neither agreeing nor disagreeing, his thoughts seemingly somewhere distant.

“Baby?”

“Yeah?” he murmurs absently. At least he doesn’t bristle at the nickname anymore.

“Why were you in such a bad mood at the archery range?”

“I wasn’t.”

“Gareth, I know when you’re not being yourself. You had that distant look in your eyes and didn’t even notice it was raining. Hyperfixation is your tell.”

He blinks, his eyes widening slightly. “You called me Gareth.”

“Am I not supposed to?”

He shrugs, but his dimples appear. “I prefer my first name to my last.”

“All right, but you’re not changing the subject. What had you so upset?”

His humor fades, replaced by something guarded. “Dad and Kill are reconciling. Or in the process of it.”

“And?”

“And I’m shoved into the background.” He pauses, his jaw tightening. “Well, that sounded dramatic, but yeah. I don’t like it. I’m supposed to be Dad’s favorite.”

Hmm, I suspected this before, despite his clear negation of the fact, but Gareth has some hidden daddy issues. Probably because he thinks his father will never accept him if he sees his true face.

Not that I know his dad, but if he doesn’t? Gareth should walk away. Or walk all over him.

But then again, I don’t have the best track record since I never liked my own dad.

“This changes that?” I soften my voice.

“I don’t know.”

“Does it matter if it does?”

“Of course it does.” His voice hardens, jaw clenching tighter. “Without that, I’d have no purpose. I loathe the very idea of it.”

“Then don’t concern yourself. You’ll always have a purpose.”

He blinks at me, wary. “Which is?”

“Being mine, baby.”

A laugh bursts out of him, the sound rich and unrestrained. His dimples deepen, making him look younger, boyish.

“Laugh all you want, but being mine is an important purpose.”

“Yeah, right.”

“I’m serious. Your presence is important to me.”

He swallows hard, his throat working as his eyes meet mine. “How important?”

“Important enough that the last three days were hell without you. Are you going to tell me why you disappeared?”

“It’s nothing,” he says, his gaze drifting back to the ceiling.

“What did I say about communication?”

“Do I have to tell you everything?”

“Yes.”

He remains silent, frowning slightly.

“I’m waiting, Gareth,” I say firmly.

After a long pause, he mutters, “If you must know, I didn’t like Yulian throwing himself all over you.”

“Yulian?”

“Yes, Yulian,” he snaps. “The one you went crazy over the first time we met. Did you have a crush on him or something?”

“No. And I didn’t go crazy because of him.”

“Then why?”

“Your actions. It didn’t matter who was on the receiving end—I would’ve acted the same.”

“Countering assault with assault? Seriously?”

“Not something I’m proud of, but we were both equally fucked up. We are both equally fucked up.”

He’s silent for a moment, his fingers absently stroking my arm.

“I’m not offering excuses for your actions, and it’s not like I was that innocent anyway, but I liked that.” He closes his eyes, his lashes fluttering on his cheeks. “From the start, I think I enjoyed how you dominated me and gave me no way out.”

My chest tightens as he turns his head toward me, his forehead almost touching mine.

I think he’s fallen asleep, but then he whispers, “I don’t believe I would’ve ever discovered that part of myself if it weren’t for those encounters, so a part of me is grateful. The other part would still stab you, though.”

A laugh leaves me, but it’s cut short when he opens those green eyes. They’re dark, as if peering into my soul.

“I mean it, Kayde. You betray me or put your dick somewhere it shouldn’t be, I’ll rip your heart out and watch you bleed out. I’m that brand of crazy, so don’t test me.”

“I’m that brand of crazy, too. So let’s not test each other. Deal?”

“Deal.”

“And, Gareth?”

“Hmm.”

“You’ll communicate properly from here on out. I will not stand for these tantrums in the future. Are we clear?”

“Okay.” He swallows thickly, his eyes softening. “What’s your relationship with Yulian anyway?”

“He’s my student.”

“That’s all?”

“I helped his dad in the States, and he asked me to look out for him.”

“Do you have to look out for him?”

“Not really. Why are you asking? Jealous?”

“I don’t like it when he throws his arm around your shoulders. I can’t even do that in public, so he shouldn’t either.” He gulps. “You’re the one who asked me to communicate, so I’m just doing that right now.”

“Fine. I’ll make sure to not allow him to do that again.”

“Really?”

“Really. You communicated properly and asked nicely, so you deserve a reward.”

He smiles, his cheeks creasing, and his lips remain frozen in a soft smile as his lids grow heavy and close again.

As I hold him until he falls asleep with some cheesy drama playing in the background, I think of all the ways my plans are fucked up beyond repair.

And I’m not even that sad about it.

Forget about what I came here to do.

I need to tuck Gareth safely away from those in my entourage.

I need Jethro to prepare me a gadget.

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