Left Field Love
: Chapter 21

The familiar green sign flashes neon in the light cast by the car’s headlights. I’m surprised by the nostalgia the sight of it sparks.

Crossing into Landry, Kentucky at the start of the summer used to be an event I dreaded. Time spent away from my friends and baseball camp that would instead be filled with stuffy parties or at the racetrack.

I threw one hell of a fit when I found out we were moving here in time for me to start school at Landry High. But my father couldn’t ignore my grandfather’s health issues, and I didn’t exactly have the option to stay behind alone at age fourteen.

Landry looks exactly the same.

There was a time when that would have bothered me; the way this tiny town in the middle of nowhere stands like a time capsule. So certain every other place on earth is envious of its timelessness. Its pedigree.

I used to think it was ridiculous. Who measures a state’s importance by one tiny postage stamp in the heart of it? Turns out a lot of people do.

I lost track pretty quickly of the number of people at Clarkson who would ask eager questions after learning Landry is my adopted hometown, wondering what it was like to live in such a hallowed place.

I was half-tempted to tell them the truth: that Landry is small, and conceited, and doesn’t live it up to the hype.

But something stopped me. She stopped me.

Because anywhere Lennon Matthews lives can’t be any of those things.

I climb out of the car to type in the code at the front gate of my family’s estate. The imposing metal doors open slowly, revealing the long, curving drive that winds through the property.

The house is dark and quiet when I park in front. My father’s gone, like usual. My mother won’t be back for a couple more days. I might have told her my exams ended two days later than they actually did.

It’s close to ten, but I head straight for the kitchen when I enter the house. I didn’t have time to eat dinner after my last exam, and I’m starving now.

I pull out my phone to call Colt as I eat the turkey sandwich I hastily threw together.

“Winters! Wassup?” he answers.

“You free tonight? I just got back.”

“Wait, back as in here? You’re in Landry?”

“Yeah,” I reply. “Are you free, or what?”

“Uh, yeah, sure. I’m at Jake’s. Come on over.” There’s a strange, almost uncomfortable note in Colt’s voice. Someone starts talking in the background before he hangs up.

I change into clothes that don’t smell like fast food and recycled air, then head back out to my truck.

I’m not surprised to see there are at least five cars in the driveway when I reach Jake’s. His house was always the de facto gathering place in high school. Mainly due to the fact he’s the kind of guy who’s universally liked with the added benefit of his house being only a couple of blocks from the high school.

Unlike me, Jake doesn’t live on a massive estate. His parents’ house is part of a gated community of residents who appreciate the elite status of Landry’s zip code but aren’t interested in dealing with the hassle of participating in the horse industry.

I park and walk up the front path.

The front door’s unlocked, so I don’t bother knocking, just stroll inside like I’ve done many times before.

“Winters!” Jake calls when I enter the kitchen, drawing the attention of the dozen or so other people huddled around the kitchen island. “What are you doing here?”

“Great to see you too, Barnes,” I say dryly, walking over to the fridge and helping myself to a bottle of beer.

Friendships shift in college, I guess. I’ve spent the last several months making new friends and practicing with new teammates. But I didn’t think things would be weird with Colt, Luke, and Jake. They were my best friends basically from my first day in Landry.

Jake ambles over to my side. “You said you wouldn’t be back for a couple more days.”

I open the beer and take a long pull. “You sound like Colt. Didn’t know you guys were so interested in my travel plans. I’ll send you both an updated itinerary next time.”

I look past Jake at the rest of the kitchen. There are more people here than I initially realized. Far more than the number of cars out front indicated.

“You’re the one who showed up at my house out of nowhere.” Jake’s trademark easygoing grin appears, but there’s that same undercurrent of something in his voice that was in Colt’s on the phone earlier.

I return my attention to Jake and narrow my eyes at him as I take a sip of the cold beer. “I called Colt and told him I was coming.”

“Hey, you made it.” Colt appears in the kitchen and gives my shoulder a punch in greeting.

“Hey,” I reply. “Jake was just about to tell me why the two of you are acting so weird.” I raise my eyebrows and glance between the two of them.

Jake rolls his eyes. “Luke!”

The fourth member of our crew pokes his head into the kitchen. “Wassup?” Then his gaze lands on me. “Winters!” He bounds over to bump fists.

I would be much more pleased to see my three best friends for the first time since August if I wasn’t becoming increasingly aware there seems to be something they were all keeping from me. “Hey, man. Are you going to explain why these two are acting so strange?”

Luke glances between Colt and Jake, looking lost.

“We were thinking Winters might like a heads-up about the guest you invited,” Colt finally prompts.

Luke sucks in an audible breath. “Oh shit, yeah.” He turns to me. “Uh, yeah, so I ran into Cassie Belmont over Thanksgiving break,” he says.

The words are innocuous enough, but then he glances at Colt, then Jake, making me think they actually aren’t.

“Cassie Belmont,” I repeat, trying to figure out why that name sounds so familiar. And then it clicks. “Cassie. She moved here senior year.”

“Yeah, so, she seemed interested, so we hung out over Thanksgiving a bit. She’s friends with…they came over here one night. Both of them.”

I take another sip of beer, trying to act casual.

Probably too casual. Everyone in the kitchen is paying attention to us, likely wondering why we’re huddled next to the fridge.

I should shrug and put them all at ease. Reassure them I’m not bothered. But I’m too curious. I can only hold the words back for so long.

“You saw her?”

Jake doesn’t bother to hide his smirk. I’m pretty sure he figured out I had a thing for Lennon before I did.

“Uh, yeah.” Luke replies.

“And you didn’t tell me?” There’s a dangerous note in my voice, and I know Luke hears it.

I’m fairly certain I hear Jake mutter “wonder why,” but I’m too busy waiting for Luke’s response to pay attention to Jake’s sarcasm.

“She didn’t stay long,” Luke replies.

“Did you talk to her?” I press, eager for more information.

I’m well aware I’m sounding a little more pathetic with each question. I also know I’m going to visit Matthews Farm at some point during this trip home. Might as well be as prepared as possible.

“Uh, no. She spent most of the time talking to Masterson, actually.”

I say nothing, even as my chest tightens. She wasn’t interested in him before. Has six months changed that?

“She wasn’t flirting back,” Colt tells me.

It’s embarrassing—but convenient—that he can read me so well. Colt’s a straight shooter. He wouldn’t say that if he didn’t mean it.

“Okay,” I respond. Acknowledging I care.

Which isn’t a surprise to any of my best friends.

They all know Lennon is a touchy subject, so they tend to avoid it. Jake and Colt telling Luke to mention it makes no sense.

“Wait…why are you telling me this now?” Luke glances at Colt, and that’s when I realize. “You invited Cassie again tonight.”

Luke nods.

“And you think Lennon will come too.”

Another nod.

I take a longer sip of beer. Luke, Colt, and Jake all study my expression, but I know it’s not giving anything away.

I’m good at hiding my true feelings. Very good. To succeed in life, always know what others want, my grandfather would tell me. And never let them know what you really want.

It’s usually easy to tell what people want.

Except for Lennon.

I could never tell what she wanted. And ironically, she never seemed to believe I wanted her.

Seeing her tonight shouldn’t matter to me. I know I’m acting nonchalant, but I can’t convince myself I actually am.

I don’t ordinarily need to feign being confident. I just am. I know what to say, how to act. But something about Lennon Matthews has always disarmed that ease.

“Fine. Whatever,” I finally say, because they’re all waiting for me to say something.

Jake rolls his eyes, but that’s the end of the discussion as far as the rest of us are concerned. Luke and Colt start asking me questions about college ball, and Jake jumps in eventually. Our group expands as other friends and old teammates join the huddle.

I move into the living room when the kitchen gets too crowded. It reveals a whole new wave of people wanting to talk to me. I’ve been mostly silent on social media for the past few months, and everyone wants to catch up now that I’m back in Landry. There are lots of inquiries about baseball from the guys. Lots of not-so-subtle inquiries regarding my relationship status from the girls.

I’m talking to Brett Michaels when I see her.

Lennon Matthews appears in the doorway, and I forget where I am. Forget my own name. A pickup truck could drive into this living room right now, and I’d still be focused only on her.

She’s cut her hair since graduation. The light brown strands only fall a few inches past her shoulders now. She’s wearing a pink fleece and jeans. Most of the girls here are in tank tops. A few are even wearing dresses or skirts, despite the December weather. Lennon’s outfit heats my blood in a way the bare skin doesn’t manage to.

Her mouth is curved into a subtle grimace as she scans the people scattered about the living room, her freckled nose slightly wrinkled. It’s fairly obvious she’s not here of her own volition. She whispers something to a blonde girl I recognize as Cassie Belmont, who giggles in response.

Then Lennon spots me. And she freezes.

Relief hits me like a wave. Because if she didn’t care, if she were totally over me, Lennon wouldn’t be looking at me like I’m a ghost.

Seconds suspend in time as we stare at each other. There’s no music on, and I don’t think it’s my imagination that the room around us quiets, exacerbating the fact that neither of us are saying anything.

People pay attention to me. And to Lennon, even if it’s for reasons she hates. Add in the fact we argued throughout high school then ended senior year with a series of private moments in public, and I’d guarantee there’s still gossip circulating town about us.

I don’t move any closer to her. Don’t say anything.

It’s childish, but I want Lennon to be the one to speak first. Her poker face is almost as good as mine, but her words give a lot away. I could really use that insight right now.

So, of course she doesn’t give it to me.

She stays silent and still. Cassie is a bit slow to realize what’s caught Lennon’s attention. Once she sees me, she glances between me and Lennon with wide eyes.

I watch her whisper something to Lennon I’d bet my trust fund is an offer to leave. When Lennon shakes her head, I’m certain I’m right.

She wouldn’t risk me, or anyone else, thinking I’d run her off.

Jake appears in the doorway behind Cassie and Lennon. “Drinks are this way, ladies.” He takes on the role of host and ushers them toward the doorway that leads to the kitchen. Toward where I’m standing with Brett.

Luke and Colt choose this moment to exit the kitchen. I’m a bit suspicious about the timing. They replace my awkwardness around Lennon hilarious.

“Surprised to see you here, Lennon,” Luke calls out as he approaches.

It’s a practiced move. Talk to the friend, or girl, you’re not interested in, so you can see how the one you are interested in reacts. Cassie doesn’t appear affected by his lack of attention, but I don’t think Luke cares either way.

This time he’s not trying to bait Cassie.

He’s trying to bait me.

Lennon ignores him and addresses me instead. I’d be lying if I said that didn’t give me a secret thrill. “You’re back.”

“What tipped you off?” I tease her for stating the obvious, and I’m rewarded by the sight of a slight flush in her cheeks.

I don’t know what else to say, though. Don’t know how to broach into any of the heavier topics dangling between us. The last time I saw her, she kissed me and then walked away.

“The kitchen is just through here,” Jake says, cutting into the silence that’s fallen.

Lennon heads in the direction of the kitchen without saying anything else to me, with Cassie right behind her.

I drain the end of my beer. “I’m going to the bathroom.” I stalk down the hallway to the restroom. Miraculously, there’s no line.

After I wash my hands, I stare at myself in the mirror for a minute. Six months, and she still affects me. Maybe I’ll never get over her.

With an impatient sigh, I shove away from the sink and leave the bathroom to head back down the hallway.

Even more people have arrived in my absence. I have to maneuver my way through them to reach the kitchen for another beer. I finished my first, but that’s not why I’m in here. I’m looking for Lennon. And she’s standing by the sink. Talking to Ryan James, of all people.

I grab another bottle of beer and slam the fridge door shut harder than necessary. My gaze stays fixed on nothing but the condensation dripping down the side of the brown glass as I head back into the living room, taking a seat on the couch to the right of the fireplace. After a couple minutes of solitude, Colt makes his way over.

He sinks down beside me. “Reunion not all you were hoping for?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I lie, taking a long swig of beer.

“We can skip past this shit, Winters. It’s pretty fucking obvious how you feel about her.”

“Whatever,” I mutter, drinking more beer.

“You planning to do anything about it?”

I make a purposefully unintelligible sound, and Colt sighs before standing and leaving the living room.

It only takes a few seconds for Poppy Tisdale to fill his empty seat. She asks me a few questions about college, and then launches into a long description of the sorority she joined, clearly thrilled to have what appears to be my undivided attention.

I’m paying attention, but I’m definitely not focused on her. Especially once Robin Jones joins us on the small couch and jabbers away about her own sorority experience.

But I sure act focused on them when Lennon enters the room. I’m not proud of it. But my pride is still smarting from watching her in the kitchen with Ryan, and it’s a hell of a lot easier to pretend I’m listening to what Poppy and Robin are saying than facing why it bothered me so much.

By the time I finish my third beer, which Robin helpfully provides, I’m feeling pretty damn good. The turkey sandwich I wolfed down is no longer absorbing much alcohol, if any, and I’ve hit that sweet spot where colors seem a little brighter and jokes a little funnier, before the world turns hazy and anything anyone says sounds amusing.

The crowd around me has grown, hanging on to my every word as I describe the slip and slide set up during the first week of classes for the entire baseball team.

About halfway through my story, Jake appears. “Caleb, I need to talk to you. Right now.”

His serious tone is enough to capture my attention, but his use of my first name ensures it.

I stand up immediately and follow Jake into the front hallway. “What’s going on?” I ask urgently.

“Not here,” he replies, veering to the right. Jake slides open a glass door, and steps out onto the back deck that overlooks the expansive backyard. There’s about ten people standing on it, and several more standing on the patio that melds into the covered pool.

“What is it?”

“I need one more person for pickup,” Jake responds.

I stare at him for a minute, slowly registering there’s no serious problem. “You’re joking.”

“Nope.” His serious exterior falls away. “Come on, Winters,” he pleads. “Your fan club will still be around later.”

“This doesn’t have anything to do with my fan club,” I reply. “I took a three-hour exam this morning and then drove for a few hours. I don’t want to play baseball right now.”

“Excuse me,” a familiar voice says. “You’re blocking the door.”

I keep my gaze straight ahead, but know the grin spreading across Jake’s face means he’s recognized the voice as well. “Lennon!” He turns to face her. “Any interest in a ball game?”

“You just said there was only one spot,” I point out.

“You just said you weren’t going to play,” Jake replies.

Lennon ignores our side commentary. “I’ll pass,” she replies. “I was just leaving.”

“Bummer,” Jake responds. “I thought you liked party games. Or was it only Truth or Dare?”

I send him a warning glare for that comment, but Lennon beats me to a verbal response. “I’m sure you can convince Caleb to play. Although he doesn’t seem to be very daring tonight.”

I forget about Jake, my attention immediately snapping to her. “What is that supposed to mean?”

Lennon shrugs, sending me an infuriatingly serene smile. “Awfully easy to just sit on the couch and get fawned over all night.”

“Jealous, Matthews?”

“You wish, Winters,” she scoffs.

I do. I’d love to know she cares.

“I should have known that’s exactly how you’d act,” she continues. “Enjoying the attention.”

“Well, we can’t all be like you, Lennon. Not needing anything. Or anyone.” Yeah…that was the wrong thing to say. Lennon’s expression hardens into a glare.

“Come on, Winters. Let’s just head to the field. We can’t play without you.” I’m fairly certain Jake is regretting lulling me out here under false pretenses by this point.

“Maybe I didn’t want to need someone who was about to leave for who knows how long,” Lennon retorts, ignoring Jake.

“Yeah, how dare I go to college,” I snap.

Lennon breaks eye contact with me and looks at Jake. “Actually, I will play.”

I know Jake’s serious expression isn’t faked this time. He looks to me, panicked, and I know Lennon catches it. She snorts and strides back inside the house.

“Fuck,” I curse. “Let’s go.”

The couple dozen guys Jake already drafted for the game are waiting on the lawn to head over to the field, but once it becomes clear I’m playing, the house pretty much empties out.

It’s only a five-minute walk to the high school, and I’m hit with another powerful wave of nostalgia when we arrive at the baseball field.

I haven’t been back to Landry High since graduation. The sight of the brick building brings back a lot of memories. Not all of them involving baseball.

Jake designates himself one captain, and I’m offered up as the other. I pick Colt first; Jake picks Luke.

Almost everyone from Luke’s house made the trek over to the field, meaning the pool of prospects has grown with the number of spectators. Jake gives me five chances before he picks Lennon. I’m sure that’s her preference, and I’ve already experienced enough rejection from Lennon Matthews.

We grab equipment from the shed tucked between the bleachers and the school, and then the game begins. My team takes the field first, and I’m automatically designated as pitcher.

It’s strange, stepping on to the mound I’ve spent so much time atop. Like coming home, only to realize it’s a place I’ve outgrown.

Robin Jones is the first one up at bat for the opposing team, her eyes as wide and inviting as they were on the couch. “I just swing and hit it, right?” she calls to me.

I nod, chewing on the inside of my cheek to hide the smirk that wants to form when I see Lennon roll her eyes.

Robin swings, but she doesn’t hit the ball I send flying her way. Colt is playing catcher, and I know he’s capable of handling anything I throw at him.

They’re nowhere near what my arm is capable of, but I lob two more pitches fast enough I know Robin won’t be capable of connecting with them. She flashes me a disappointed yet sultry smile before handing over the bat to Ryan James.

Normally, I’m ambivalent toward Ryan. I’ve sometimes gotten the sense he’s envious of me. But this time is different. I’m jealous of him. I’m not about to pass up the opportunity to make him look like a fool after watching him chat Lennon up in the kitchen like they’re old friends.

The first pitch I throw isn’t quite my top gear, but it’s close. Much closer than a late-night pickup game warrants. Colt notices, raising one eyebrow before tossing the baseball back to me.

Ryan swung two seconds too late on the first throw. I can tell he’s a bit wary of my next pitch based on the way he takes his time setting up his stance. He’s a decent athlete, but I’m better. And we’re playing my game.

Rather than pitch another fastball, I send the curveball I spent junior year perfecting over home plate. Ryan’s reaction is faster this time, but his angle is wrong. The ball whizzes past the bat and lands in Colt’s glove with a satisfying smack. The most beautiful sound in the world.

Ryan’s angry now. It’s obvious to me. And it’s obvious to everyone else watching. I allow myself a small grin behind the shield of my glove before I toss another fastball his way. Not my top speed, but almost. And more than enough power to ensure he doesn’t have a chance to connect.

“Guess you did earn that scholarship, Winters,” Ryan spits out.

I don’t reply to him, because I’m preoccupied by the fact that he’s handing the bat to Lennon. Shit. I was hoping two straight outs would push this back one inning. Maybe two. Maybe never, if we grew a commanding enough lead, which I’m certain we will. No one here is going to be able to hit off me.

Right now, I’m quite annoyed with Lennon Matthews. But I still experience a rush of pride as she moves to stand at home plate. Because she adopts a stance identical to the one I taught her during our baseball lessons senior year.

Once again, I’m grateful for the cover my glove provides. I don’t have a lot of time to decide how I’m going to play this.

People paid close attention to me striking out Ryan, but it was nothing compared to the scrutiny I can feel on me now. This is primetime entertainment.

The longer I hesitate, the worse it will get.

I’m irritated with Lennon, but I can’t make myself throw the ball much harder than a gentle toss. It’s a throw Ryan would have knocked a couple hundred yards. That Robin probably would have at least made contact with. Lennon comes close, but she doesn’t tap the baseball. Her hazel eyes narrow at me, as she realized I took it easy on her.

Colt tosses the baseball back into my glove.

I know I could hurl it whizzing past Lennon before she even batted an eye. But I can’t do it. I want her to have a chance to hit it.

So I lob her another softball, one she doesn’t even attempt to hit. “Are you fucking kidding me, Winters?” she yells, loud enough for every outfielder to hear.

Anyone who wasn’t already paying attention to us sure as hell is now.

“I could ask you the same thing,” I call back. “You can’t hit the ball if you don’t even bother swinging, Matthews.”

“I can’t hit a ball that takes ten minutes to reach home plate, either,” Lennon retorts.

“Here, let me help.” Ryan steps forward and crowds next to Lennon. He whispers something to her as I grind my teeth. She doesn’t encourage him, but she sure doesn’t push him away either.

Fuck it.

I throw the third strike as soon as she looks at me, poised to hit the ball. But unlike the last two, she doesn’t have a prayer of doing so. I don’t check my speed or force; all I bother to do is ensure the ball is as far away from her as possible while remaining in the pocket.

The sound of leather hitting leather resonates around the field. I give Colt an apologetic look. Even with the glove, I doubt his hand is feeling too great right now. That was at least ninety-five. Maybe a hundred.

Lennon looks stunned.

She asked for it, but I don’t think she expected for me to deliver.

I drop my glove on the mound for the next pitcher, then walk toward the dugout. I skirt the edge of the field, so I don’t encounter anyone on the other team.

“I’m going to have a bruise tomorrow,” Colt mutters to me, shaking his right hand.

“Sorry. Didn’t mean to throw that hard.”

“Yeah, you did.”

I don’t deny it as our first batter heads to hit Jake’s pitch.

The game proceeds, but it’s lopsided. The teams are pretty evenly matched, aside from me. No one on the opposing team can hit a single ball I throw, not even Luke or Jake, which means we score run after run, while the other team can’t manage one.

Luke has had his fill after three innings. “Let Adams pitch, Winters!”

Normally, I would resist being replaced. But right now? I could not care less.

I lost my pleasant buzz a while ago, and most of the people watching and playing are oblivious to the fact I’m throwing pitches that college players would have a hard time hitting. It’s the only outlet I have for my anger at the moment.

“Fine.” I stride toward home plate, barely pausing to toss the baseball to Colt as we switch places.

“Matthews! You’re up,” Jake yells.

She’s not. Robin Jones is next in the batting order. I glance over at Jake. He grins at me. I don’t know whether to be grateful or pissed about his interference.

Lennon’s long, denim-clad legs approach me, and I promptly forget about Jake’s meddling.

She’s close to me. Really close. Closer than we’ve been for six months. She realizes it, too. Lennon’s lips are a terse line and her shoulders are tensed.

She misses Colt’s first two pitches, the second of which is an obvious ball. I call it, and he rolls his eyes.

Lennon readjusts her position, and I can’t help myself. “Drop your right shoulder.”

She does, along with her left. So she can lower the bat and glare at me. “You’re giving me pointers?”

“You didn’t seem to mind last time.” Lennon’s cheeks are pink, but I’m not sure if it’s in response to the cold or my comment. It’s just occurring to me, now that the alcohol and adrenaline are wearing off, that it’s fairly chilly out.

“Speak for yourself,” she responds.

“Fine. I didn’t mind giving you pointers last time.” I stand, abandoning my position so I can move behind her. I shift slowly, giving her time to move away if she wants to.

She doesn’t, and it prompts a powerful flash of déjà vu as I adjust her grip on the bat and then reluctantly step away.

It’s the first time I’ve ever been happy to see an opposing player hit the ball, and I don’t hide the stupid grin on my face watching her jog to first base.

Despite the other team managing to hit some of Colt’s pitches, the game winds down pretty quickly after that.

It’s getting late. I don’t know exactly what time, but I fight back a yawn as I massage my right shoulder. I’m going to feel those pitches tomorrow.

People depart in waves, but Lennon’s not one of them. She leans against one of the posts of the dugout, not even pretending to talk to anyone.

I help Jake return the baseballs, bats, and gloves back to the equipment shed before returning to the field. It’s almost empty now; just a few stragglers still here.

Mostly my friends. And hers. None of them are oblivious to social cues, so they disappear quickly once it becomes clear we’re both waiting on purpose.

Even once we’re alone, she still doesn’t say anything.

“It’s nice to see you,” I finally state. Lame, but true. And what I should have led with, as soon as she arrived at Jake’s. “How are you?”

“I’m in love with you.” Her response is matter-of-fact.

I experience a little sympathy for how Lennon must have felt when I dropped the same declaration on her. I know I surprised her then, but surprised doesn’t really cover how I’m feeling right now.

It takes me at least a minute to regain the ability to speak. Once I do, I say the first thing that pops into my head. “Absence really does make the heart grow fonder, huh?”

“I felt this way before you left, Caleb.” Another shocker.

“You did?”

Lennon nods, then bites her bottom lip. “I know you said you were going to come back. I believed that you believed that. But…” She didn’t believe I was coming back. It’s so apparent, the words might as well be written across her face. “You lived here for four years, Caleb. Your grandfather is gone. Your parents are hardly ever here. You don’t even like horses! There’s nothing pulling you back here.”

“There’s you.”

“I thought you’d meet lots of girls and that anything you felt for me wouldn’t matter for very long. I don’t have the best track record of people choosing to stick around. And, you’re Caleb Winters. You have everything going for you. I was scared to replace out what it would be like to compete against all that.”

“And all that’s changed? Just because I came home for winter break like I thought you knew I would all along?”

“No,” she says softly, shaking her head. “Nothing has changed. That’s the problem. I thought your feelings would go away. And…I thought mine would too. I thought I’d be busy enough with everything here—that it would be a relief when you were gone. But not telling you how I felt and doing nothing about it…didn’t make any difference. So, I figured I would at least be honest with you, since you were always honest with me.”

“What are you saying, Lennon?”

She looks away, out at the field. “Nothing’s changed, Caleb. Landry is my home. I have Gramps and the farm. I don’t know if—or when—I’ll ever leave. And you have this whole other life now.” Her gaze meets mine again. “I mean, I don’t even know if you’re single.”

“I wouldn’t have flirted with you earlier if I wasn’t single, Lennon.”

“There wasn’t a single time tonight I thought you were flirting with me, Caleb.” There’s a clear challenge in her expression, revealing a glimpse of the girl who kept me on my toes for four years.

I can’t help it; I laugh. “Oh, really?” I take a step closer to her.

“Really,” she confirms, pushing away from the post.

One more step, and she’s inches away. “I’m going to kiss you,” I tell her. “But you have to agree to something first.”

“I don’t think Ryan would make any demands—”

“Don’t be a smart-ass,” I inform her grinning face. She obviously noticed my jealous behavior earlier. “You have to agree to give me a chance. Give us a chance.”

“And then what?” Lennon asks.

I shrug. “I don’t know. I don’t have all the answers. But I want to try, Lennon. That’s all I’ve ever wanted from you: a chance.”

She searches my face, giving no indication of what she’s thinking on her own. “Okay,” she finally says.

I’m not expecting the rush.

It’s a release, like finally letting out a breath I didn’t realize I was holding. Reaching the end of a journey when I thought I still had a long trek ahead.

I kiss her, and I forget we’re standing on a high school baseball field in the small, snooty town I used to dread visiting.

Lennon kisses me back, alongside the patch of grass I spent most of high school on, and for the first time, Landry feels like home.