Left Field Love
: Chapter 24

The total lack of sound wakes me. I’m used to shouts and yells in the morning. Whistles and gongs. Brian was not a morning person, and he made sure the rest of us shared in his misery.

Consciousness slowly trickles in with the sunlight, and it’s the absence of any obvious indication I need to wake up that makes me do so. Well that, the fact I forgot to draw the blinds when we arrived late last night, and how there’s the foreign warmth of a body pressed against me.

I open my eyes, slowly registering the unfamiliar surroundings of the Adams’s lakeside cabin. A red quilt, cream-colored walls, and matching mahogany furniture decorate the room. I came here with the guys once in high school, but memories of that trip are hazy.

I turn my attention to the girl sprawled out beside me. The sheets cover her from the waist down, but there’s still a whole lot of skin on display. She teased me about my new freckles, but there are just as many additions on her arms and shoulders.

“Len,” I whisper. “Lennon.” She groans, tossing an arm over her eyes and almost whacking my left one in the process. I smirk as I lean down and kiss her neck. “Wake up.”

“What time is it?” she mumbles from behind her elbow.

“Early. No one else is up yet.”

“Why are you?” Pragmatic even while half-asleep.

“I want to go canoeing.” Not what I planned on saying, but a thought that’s been circulating around in my head ever since I saw the small boats stacked by the garage when we arrived here late last night.

“That’s a terrible idea,” Lennon mutters. I chuckle.

“All you’ll have to do is sit there while I paddle,” I promise her. “Preferably not unexpectedly yelling.”

Lennon slides her arm off her eyes, finally giving me an unobstructed view of her face. She squints up at me, an adorable pink flush spreading across her chest once she realizes we’re both naked and her boobs are on display.

I lean down to kiss her, unable to help myself. We hardly ever wake up in bed together, and mussed hair and sleepy eyes is one of my favorite looks on Lennon Matthews.

“Come on,” I cajole when my lips leave hers. “For old times’ sake.”

Lennon lifts her head off the pillow to kiss me again. “How about we just do this?” she suggests, sliding her hand down my stomach. My body instantly reacts, blood rushing south so fast it’s painful. I catch her palm before she reaches my hardening dick, weaving our fingers together.

“Please?”

She groans but throws the covers the rest of the way off and climbs out of bed. “I can’t believe you’re turning down sex to go canoeing.”

I grin as I roll out of the now-empty bed to pull on a sweatshirt and a pair of basketball shorts.

“We can have sex in the canoe.”

“Hard pass,” Lennon replies as she pulls on my old Landry Baseball hoodie. With nothing underneath.

If I wasn’t so eager to get going before Colt, Jake, and Luke wake up, I’d push her right back into bed and fuck her while she’s wearing it.

In high school, I never participated in any of the silly traditions most of the other guys did. I never gave a girl my letterman jacket or asked her to decorate my locker on game days.

Because there was only one girl I wanted—this girl—and for most of high school she wanted nothing to do with me. I wish I could go back and tell my younger self there are better ways to get a girl’s attention than antagonizing her every change you get, but the logic made sense to me at the time.

We were never a real couple in high school.

For a long time, I thought we’d never been a real couple, period.

So every time I see Lennon in my favorite sweatshirt—the one she stole from me when we started officially dating—I experience a satisfying, possessive thrill.

Lennon Matthews has always been hard for me to read. Maybe because I’m twice as desperate to know what she’s thinking as I am with anyone else. The fact she wears an article of clothing with my name on it nearly every day gives me some much-needed reassurance.

I’m in deep with her.

Deeper than I ever imagined being with a girl at just twenty-one. I planned my life out a while ago, centered around baseball. High school, college, pros.

I didn’t factor in dating, much less a serious relationship. But I know, with absolute certainty, that if it ever comes down to choosing between baseball and Lennon, I’d pick her and walk away from the sport.

And that’s…kind of terrifying.

Once we’re both dressed we head down the hallway, past the shut doors to the bedrooms where Luke, Jake, and Colt are passed out. Through the massive kitchen Lennon’s eyes widen at. I carried her in fast asleep when we arrived, so this is the first she’s seeing of the cabin besides our bedroom.

Cool, damp air greets us as we step outside, tinged with the scent of pine and grass. Lennon shivers at the cooler temperature. I pull her into my side as we walk along the dirt path that leads down to the shore of the lake.

I drop my arm once we reach the canoe rack so I can pull a green one down and haul it down to where the water laps against the sandy shore.

I gesture to the front of the boat.

Lennon sighs, shakes her head, and then steps inside the canoe.

“You’re the only person I would do this for,” she tells me.

I chuckle. “Love you too.”

She pauses and glances back at me, a soft small on her face that’s totally different from her reaction the first time I said those words to her, less than a mile from where we are now. This trip feels like a do-over from the one we took as seniors, which is part of why I’m trying to recreate it.

“You good?” I ask, after she’s crawled through the canoe to the front seat.

“Uh-huh.” Lennon settles in the seat and lets her hair out of the messy bun she pulled it back in. The cool morning breeze blows some of the light brown strands off to the right.

I climb into the back seat, pick up a paddle, and shove away from the lake’s shore. The wind picks up as we move away from the sandy stretch, the trees no longer providing any measure of shelter.

Unlike the last time we were on this lake together, there’s barely any mist. I paddle along the shoreline, passing floating docks and the occasional duck. Lennon catches my eye after the first mallard we pass, and we share a bittersweet, secret smile. Aside from that moment, she seems lost in thought.

I know she’s stressed about the future. About our future.

Lennon Matthews and I have little in common, at least at first glance. Probably after a second look, too.

We have different families, dream, expectations, and opportunities.

Most of all, I thought that our feelings for each other would never be comparable.

Ever since we got together, I’ve been worried Lennon’s waiting to tell me it isn’t worth it. For her to decide she wants a guy who’s around for more than just a weekend once every couple of months. Who doesn’t spend most of the summer in Georgia and all of the spring traveling around the country to play at different colleges.

“Okay, this isn’t terrible,” Lennon finally admits, twisting around to smile at me.

“Told ya.” I smirk back as I continue to paddle along. “Just wish I’d paid attention to which direction we came from.”

“You had better be joking, Caleb, or I swear this is the last time you’re going to get me in a canoe with you.”

“That’s what you said last time,” I tease.

Lennon sticks her tongue out at me before turning back to look out at the lake. “Guess I’m a sucker for baseball players.”

I chuckle, because we both know she’s the furthest thing from a groupie. The girls who flirt with me at Clarkson parties and hang around the bleachers after our practices know nothing about me aside from the fact I can throw a baseball pretty damn fast. Lennon knows me better than anyone else in the world.

“Good to know,” I tease her.

Lennon scoffs as she leans back on her palms. “So…are you excited to go back to Clarkson next week?”

I look away, out at the smooth surface of the water, any amusement slipping away as things turn serious between us. “Yes and no.”

I’m excited to be reunited with my teammates and friends.

I’m eager to prepare for the next season—for my final season of college ball.

I’m dreading leaving her.

“I’d be more excited if I knew you’d be there this fall.” I can’t help but add the words, even knowing it will pull the sudden tension between us tighter.

Lennon says nothing.

She might not have heard back yet, but I’m not harboring any doubts she’ll get into Clarkson. I doubt she is either. She was our class valedictorian at Landry High, which is the best school district in the state. And, as far as I know, she’s gotten nothing but A’s at Richardson Community College.

We both know the chances of her attending Clarkson this fall will be decided by her attachment to Matthews Farm and to Earl rather than the whims of the Admissions Office.

It would be a lot easier for me to resent her indecision if I didn’t get just how hard of a choice it is.

I’ve spent a lot of time at Matthews Farm since my first visit there, over four years ago. With Earl. With the horses. I know what those acres of grass signify to her.

“It’s fine, Len,” I assure her when the silence continues to stretch between us. “Whatever happens, we’ll be fine.”

Lennon likes to challenge me. It’s one of my favorite things about her. She’s not one to shirk from a problem or pretend everything is fine when it’s not. The fact that all she says in response is, “Okay,” gives me a clue of just how worried she really is.

“I mean it.”

“What is it with you and serious conversations in canoes?” Lennon asks me, spinning around fully so she’s looking at me, not the lake.

I’m relieved to see she’s smiling. The sun is rising, backlighting her hair and pulling out tints of red in it.

“We’ve had plenty of serious conversations on dry land,” I reply.

“Yeah, I guess,” she concedes.

We have a lot of serious conversations, period.

“I like having you to myself,” I tell her. “I feel like I hardly ever do.”

Most of the time I spend with Lennon is at Matthews Farm. I’m closer with her grandfather than I ever was with either of mine, but it never feels like we’re totally alone there. And whenever we’re not at her farm, it’s around my friends or Cassie or worse, random people from town who stare at us the whole time.

I feel like I’m often on eggshells, not wanting to appear too desperate for her attention. Not wanting to get into an argument about anything when we probably won’t have time to come to any sort of resolution before I have to leave again.

“I like it too,” Lennon tells me before tilting her head back to catch the sunbeams filtering down from the sky.

The only sound is the splash of my paddle as we glide along the glassy surface of the lake, topped with a light layer of mist that’s quickly disappearing. A bird’s call echoes in the distance, reverberating across the empty, open space.

“Must not be many early risers living around here,” Lennon comments, looking around the lake we appear to have to ourselves. “Guess none of them got dragged out of bed.”

“You would have been up by now anyway,” I retort.

She doesn’t deny it. “Yeah, the curse of growing up on a farm. If I ever do leave, that’s going to take some getting used to.”

I catch how she says if, not when.

It’s not news to me that Lennon’s life plan has never not included remaining in Landry. Or that I’m really the only complicating factor.

We keep drifting along the surface of the lake until the sun truly starts to shine, burning away any lingering mist and bathing the surface of the lake in sparkles.

“We should probably head back,” I tell Lennon.

She nods in agreement, so I paddle to the left. The green hull of the canoe slowly spins around to face the way we came from.

I’m distracted by maneuvering the canoe around a floating dock, so I miss the moment Lennon takes my sweatshirt off. I glance over in response to the movement I catch out of the corner of my eye and watch as she shimmies out of the shorts she’s wearing as well.

“Wh—” I clear my throat, taken totally off guard. “What are you doing?”

She grins unexpectedly, as she tosses her clothes in a heap on the floor. “Exactly what it looks like.”

Before I have the chance to blink she’s in the lake, her brown hair looking black when her head emerges from the water and she bobs beside the canoe.

“Come on, Winters.” She leans back so she’s floating on her back. “Water is warm this time.”

I glance around. There’s still no one else in sight on the lake. We’re close to a small cove with a rock outcrop that will keep motorboats away. And the shoreline here is densely wooded, no houses visible.

My eyes return to Lennon floating.

I smile at the sight.

Lennon is serious and responsible and often inscrutable. A playful, joking Lennon is rare. A version of herself I hardly get to see, and have never seen her show anyone else besides Earl.

I stand, the canoe rocking slightly as pull my hoodie off. Lennon shifts so she’s treading water. Her hazel eyes are focused on me and filled with heat. I pull down my shorts, and after a moment of hesitation, add my boxer briefs to the pile. Wearing them back wet under dry clothes will suck.

When I break through the surface of the water, she’s right next to me. “It’s nice, right?”

“Definitely warmer than last time.” When we came here in high school it was spring, not summer.

Now that I’ve adjusted to the initial shock, the water feels refreshing. I’m way more focused on Lennon than the temperature, though. She’s close enough I can see every freckle on her face. Study the droplets of water clinging to her eyelashes. Watch the pulse of her heartbeat thrum beneath her jawline.

A line of water streaks down from her darkened hair to her cheek, and I brush it away with my finger.

“You know,” she starts. “Since I’m naked, and you’re also naked…”

I groan, having no trouble figuring out what she’s suggesting. “Len, there’s no way I can keep us both afloat and actually move once I’m inside of you.”

“Thought you were so athletic, Mr. Hotshot Baseball Pitcher.”

I smile and shake my head. “Not that athletic. We’ll drown.”

She floats closer, winding her arms around my neck and wrapping her legs around my waist. “What a way to go, though,” she whispers.

I manage a laugh before her lips are on mine. Our bodies fit together like two puzzle pieces. Her hands travel up my back and across my shoulders, slipping into my hair. I got it cut recently, so there’s not much to pull. But her fingernails graze my scalp, and it feels so good I don’t care.

My hands slide down to her hips, the water adding a slipperiness that’s surprisingly erotic. The last—only—time I kissed a girl in the water, it was her.

Things were uncertain between us in a different way back then. Every time I kissed her, I was worried it would be the last time. I’m not worried about that now. And I’m no longer a fumbling teenager either. Just because sex seems logistically impossible doesn’t mean we can’t do other things.

Lennon gasps when I pull her right on top of my erection, severing the connection between our mouths. “Make yourself come on me,” I whisper, moving my lips down the side of her neck.

“Here?” she murmurs back. I can’t see her face from this angle, but I’m sure she’s looking around our surroundings. Even if someone has showed up, it doesn’t matter. They’d have to be right beside us to see what’s going on beneath the water.

“Yeah. I want to watch.”

“What about you?”

“Len, we both know that even when you get into Clarkson, we’ll still be separated for another year. I get it; it’s okay.” I press another kiss against her wet skin, right in the curve where her shoulder meets her neck. “I have an excellent memory. I might not get off right now, but I promise I will. Many times, probably.”

Lennon bites her bottom lip, a blush working its way across her skin despite the cool water.

Her hips begin moving. Slowly, at first, then faster and faster. Her breathing quickens as she rubs against me, chasing pleasure.

Sexy.

Shy.

Mine.

I never experienced jealousy, until I met Lennon. My whole life, everything has been handed to me. Other people wanted to be me. Be around me.

So it took me a little while to figure out what the tightness in my chest was when I’d see her walking out of Biology, laughing with Will Masterson. Why it pissed me off so much when someone would make a joke about the grass stains in her jeans or the hay in her hair. And once I admitted it to myself, I kind of wished I was still in denial. Because nothing changed between us for a long time. I spent years knowing I had absolutely no claim on her and hating that fact. Even if we do break up one day, if she decides long distance isn’t worth it, the way she once told me, I’ll always be hers. And I’ll never forget this moment, seeing her fall apart and knowing I’m the reason her lips are parted and her eyes are hazy.

Lennon pulls my lips back to hers when she finishes. We stay like that a while, laughing like little kids every time one of us has to splash to stay afloat.

It’s the happiest I’ve felt in a long time. Staring down a player with a bat has never given me this feeling.

Just her.

“You know the canoe has been floating away this whole time?” she asks me.

I wince and look around. Sure enough, the green canoe is a couple hundred feet away from us. I’d probably care less if I had any clothes on. Getting arrested for public indecency isn’t on the itinerary for this trip.

“I’ll race you,” Lennon challenges, following my gaze to the boat floating further and further away.

“Deal. Loser makes breakfast.”

Lennon doesn’t reply. She starts swimming at a much faster pace than I’m expecting. I’m a decent swimmer and in great shape, but I’ve got more bulk and muscle than she does, and it means I arrive at the canoe at least five seconds after her.

She grins when I grab the opposite end of the boat. “I’d like eggs and toast, please.”

“When did you get that good at swimming?” I ask, between heavy breaths.

“I did swim team in elementary school,” she replies.

“You did?”

“Uh-huh.” Lennon is studying the boat. “Should I get in first?”

“Uh, yeah. Hang on.” I swim to the opposite side, directly across from where she is. “Okay. Climb in.”

Lennon pulls herself over the rim of the boat and lands in a heap on the floor. Once she’s dressed, I tell her to lean to the right. Hopefully, it’ll be enough to counteract my weight.

I haul myself up and over the left side. The canoe doesn’t remain as steady as it did during Lennon’s return, sloshing side to side precariously, but it doesn’t capsize.

I pull on my shorts and hoodie, then grab the paddle to turn in the direction of Colt’s place. The sunshine warms my damp hair and wet clothes, but neither of us are dry by the time we reach the spot we started from.

Lennon helps me pull the canoe onto shore, and then we walk along the path back toward the house.

“This place is really nice,” she comments as we pass the four-car garage.

“Yeah, it is,” I agree.

“You’ve been here before?”

“Once, in high school. The four of us came up back in junior year.”

“What did you guys do?”

“Stupid stuff you do when you’re sixteen and there’s no parental supervision,” I reply.

Lennon rolls her eyes as we enter the house. Colt, Jake, and Luke are all in the kitchen. Colt is fiddling with the coffee maker, Luke is surveying the contents of the fridge, and Jake is slumped on one stool at the kitchen island, looking half-asleep.

“Morning, guys,” I greet.

My three best friends all look over, wearing matching expressions of confusion.

“We thought you two were still in bed,” Colt says.

“Why the hell are you all wet?” Jake asks. “Again.”

I forgot he saw us after the last canoe trip we took together, too.

“We took a canoe out,” I answer, heading for the fridge and reaching around Luke to grab the orange juice. “Lennon wanted to go swimming.”

“You went canoeing?” Luke questions.

“Yeah.”

“You should’ve taken the speedboat out instead,” Colt comments. “Way more fun.”

“There’s a speedboat?” Lennon asks.

“Uh-huh. We can go out after breakfast,” Colt tells her.

“There’s a speedboat,” Lennon informs me.

I nod, smirking. “Yeah, I know.”

Lennon huffs out an annoyed sigh. “I’m going to change. Breakfast will be ready when I get back, right?”

I turn back toward the fridge. “Yeah, yeah. I’m working on it.”

“’Kay.” She smiles at me before disappearing down the hall.

“Sweet. You’re making breakfast, Winters?” Jake finally perks up.

“Not for you.”

“You’re cooking for Lennon! Just make extra!”

“I’m making her breakfast because she’s my girlfriend. And because…” If I don’t tell them now, Lennon will probably mention it later. “I lost a bet.”

Colt laughs. “What was it?”

“Swimming,” I grumble.

“Is that code for something else?” Jake asks, wagging his eyebrows.

“No, you idiot. I literally mean swimming. She beat me back to the canoe.”

“Are you sure there’s not a third reason you’re on kitchen duty?”

I pull a carton of eggs out of the fridge and glance at Jake. “What?”

“I got a really good night’s sleep last night. Seems like a sad effort on your part, Winters.”

I shake my head. I’ve never discussed my physical relationship with Lennon before, and I’m not going to start now. That stays between us. “Why the fuck were you listening?”

“I’ve never vacationed with a couple,” Jake says. “I was expecting some noise, that’s all.”

“We’re crashing at Colt’s for two nights. I wouldn’t call that a vacation,” I respond, cracking and mixing the eggs.

“Whatever. If you need some pointers to spice things up, I got you.”

I pick up a banana from the bowl on the counter and throw it at Jake. “Talk to me when you get a girlfriend. Far as I can tell, no girl wants to fuck you on a regular basis. That’s hardly a ringing endorsement.”

He grins at me. “I don’t have a girlfriend because too many girls want to fuck me on a regular basis.”

“Keep telling yourself that, Barnes.”

“I really should have spent longer changing.” I glance at the doorway, watching Lennon walk across the kitchen to the island and take a seat on the stool next to Jake. “Put a sock on the door next time, you guys.”

It’s almost comical, watching Jake sit up and the tips of his ears turn red. “Sorry, Lennon. I’m just…tired.”

Lennon reaches over, grabbing the banana Jake caught off the counter and peeling it. “Thought we didn’t keep you up?” She pops a piece of fruit into her mouth.

I don’t hide my grin as I pour the eggs in the pan.

“I—that wasn’t…”

“Maybe you should just stop talking, Jake,” Luke suggests.

“Don’t act like you’re not single too,” Jake replies.

I look at Luke. “You and Amanda broke up?”

He shrugs. “Yeah. She got super serious. Wanted to know my plans for next year. Said we should be figuring it out together. I told her I don’t even know what I want myself, never mind factoring in another person. That was pretty much that.”

“I’m sorry, man,” I say. When I look at Lennon, she’s studying the empty banana peel on the counter.

Luke and Amanda were together for a few months.

Lennon and I have been dating for almost three years. We’ve known each other for seven.

The two situations aren’t comparable.

At least, I hope they’re not.

After breakfast, we all head back to our rooms to change into bathing suits. Lennon remains in the kitchen, loading the dishwasher.

“I’m glad you brought Lennon this weekend,” Colt tells me as we walk down the hallway toward the bedrooms. “It’s nice seeing you so happy, man.”

“Thanks. I am.”

“Luke’s break-up didn’t freak you out?”

“Me and Lennon are nothing like that. I’m serious about her. Always have been.”

Colt laughs. “Yeah, I know. I’m the one who tried to get you to just tell her you were crazy about her and got a lot of shit for it, remember?”

I don’t deny it. “I never saw it going well. And I was right. It didn’t go well when I finally did say something. But I always—I just… I don’t know. I knew, you know?”

“Not really,” he replies, and I chuckle.

I think Colt’s longest relationship has lasted a week.

“Yeah, I guess you wouldn’t.”

“I’m glad it worked out for you two. Every other guy in Landry is not.”

I side-eye him. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You know what I mean, Winters. Ryan James looked like he’d sucked on a lemon when you showed up at my place last night. And you know Will Masterson is single again. Plus there are probably lots of guys at RCC who—”

“Are you trying to get punched in the face?”

Colt laughs. “She’s crazy about you. I almost want to consider a serious relationship, after seeing you guys together. And I knew why you were in such a foul mood, the last time we were here. Even if you wouldn’t talk about it.”

I don’t deny it. The summer after junior year was when I really started to give up hope of anything changing between me and Lennon.

“I’ll meet you down at the dock.” Colt punches my shoulder, then heads into his room.

By the time I head outside, all traces of the early morning chill Lennon and I were met with at dawn have disappeared, replaced by a heavy blanket of heat.

The shiny motorboat Colt talked about for most of the drive here last night is tethered about thirty feet offshore, the white paint blinding in the sunshine. I wish my parents had bought a place here instead of the ski chalet in Aspen I’ve only been to once.

I made no secret of my distaste for Landry when I was a kid. Or how much I hated the idea of moving there for high school. I’m positive my parents assumed graduation was the last time I would spend any time in the small town.

Instead, I’ve spent every possible second there I could.

Neither my mom nor my dad were supportive of my relationship with Lennon when we first started dating. And they both assumed it would be a brief fling.

Two and a half years later, the comments about spending time at one of the other properties they own besides the Kentucky farm have increased in number significantly.

If my parents thought I wasn’t serious about Lennon Matthews before, they most certainly know I am now.

“Swim or row?” Colt asks, nodding to a rowboat lying next to the canoe Lennon and I took out earlier.

“Swim,” Lennon answers, pulling her shirt over her head and revealing a dark green bikini underneath.

I’m not the only one looking. I glare at Luke when I catch him glancing at Lennon as well. I know none of my friends would make a move on her, but the direction of his gaze makes me question the wisdom of bringing my girlfriend on a trip with three single guys.

Jake and Luke shuck their shirts as I wade into the water. I didn’t bother with one. Lennon’s already halfway to the boat, and Colt’s rearranging stuff on shore.

Lennon’s climbed aboard the speedboat by the time I reach it. She’s studying the array of dials and gauges behind the wheel when I climb the ladder, lake water pouring off my body and dripping from my swim trunks. The bright sun immediately starts to dry me.

“Do you think Colt knows how to drive this thing?” she asks.

“No idea. I don’t think boats are all that complicated, though. You just turn it on and go, right?”

Lennon rolls her eyes. “Yeah. Sure.”

A quick glance behind reveals Colt is still on shore, and Luke and Jake are just entering the lake. I stalk forward, caging her against the side of the railing.

“Jake was just talking shit earlier. I didn’t say anything.”

“I know.”

“I don’t talk about that stuff, Len. Not with anyone. It’s just between us.”

“I know,” she repeats, then rises up on her tiptoes to kiss me.

I move closer to her; tightly enough, the water coating both our bodies doesn’t have a prayer of sliding downward.

It’s been a long time—years—since we first kissed at the baseball field I spent high school playing on. Up until that moment, I wasn’t sure if she had the slightest attraction toward me.

I thought that was why kissing Lennon Matthews felt different than kissing any other girl. But it’s been three and a half years since Lennon Matthews first kissed me. And the feel of her lips against mine is still a sensation I know I could never replicate with anyone else. There wouldn’t be this rush of love, along with lust.

“Get a room, you guys.” Jake’s on board, Luke right behind him.

“The room next to yours, you mean?”

My cheeks stretch with a grin in response to Lennon’s comment as she slips out of my arms, leaving me leaning against the side of the boat to watch Colt swim toward us.

We spend the day driving around, disturbing the pristine surface of the lake: swimming, tubing, and water-skiing. Drinking and joking. By the time we return to the dock, we’re all sun-kissed and exhausted.

Jake and Luke collect sticks for a fire in the stone pit set up in the yard, while Colt and Lennon head inside to grab hot dogs to roast for dinner. I contribute nothing, stretching out on one of the benches that surrounds the fire pit and staring up at the rapidly darkening sky.

I know my future holds a lot of options and question marks. I also know I’m fortunate to have the choices I do. But this is one of those meaningful moments in time not resulting from any accomplishment or dedication on my part

I’m at his family’s lake house right now simply because I wasn’t a dick when Colt asked me if I wanted to sit with him at lunch on the first day of high school. There’s been no investments of blood or sweat to get to this peaceful spot in the woods. But I feel the same sense of accomplishment and contentedness I do when I throw a perfect strike anyway.

It makes me wonder if I might be happy living in Landry. If settling in a small town might not be so bad if I get to stare up at the stars every night the way I’m doing right now.

“Up for some Truth or Dare?” Jake asks loudly, disturbing the peace.

Without looking over, I can tell he and Luke managed to light the fire. The air temperature has risen thanks to the dry heat cast by roaring flames.

I sit up, turning my gaze to catch the grin Jake’s aiming my way. Luke is looking at the freshly lit sticks, barely interested in our teasing. Like usual. Of the four of us, he’s usually the most mature.

I narrow my eyes at Jake, not rising to the bait dangling in front of me. Guess I’m not the only one who’s been recalling our senior year trip today.

“Wrong approach, Barnes.” Luke opts to get involved, after all. “Just get Lennon to play.”

“Yeah, that’ll be easy,” Jake replies, settling back in one of the Adirondack chairs with a huff.

I smile.

The sound of Lennon’s laugh echoes through the pines, and I turn to see her stumbling down the path to the fire pit, giggling at something Colt is telling her. They reach us. Colt takes a seat across the campfire, next to Jake. Lennon plops down in my lap, dropping a package of hot dogs on the dead pine needles that litter the ground.

“Feel like roasting me one?”

“Are you admitting you always burn them?”

“Once. It happened once, Caleb.”

“Hey, Lennon,” Jake calls. I shake my head as I grab a roasting stick and stuff it through the raw meat. I know what he’s going to ask. I also know what the answer is going to be.

“What?” she replies.

“Feel like a game of Truth or Dare?”

Lennon laughs. “No.”

I shoot Jake a triumphant smirk. He pouts. “Why not?”

“I don’t feel like it,” Lennon responds as she opens the bag of hot dog buns and fishes a couple out.

“Not even if you get to kiss Winters during it?” Jake persists.

“Caleb is pretty amenable to kissing me even when we’re not playing childish games,” Lennon tells him.

I chuckle as I hold the stick out to the open flame. Jake lets out a resigned sigh, then sets about roasting his own dinner.

The hot dogs disappear quickly, as do the marshmallows Colt runs back to the house to grab. Jake heads inside as well, returning with a guitar I’ve seen him strum before. I know for a fact he learned how to play as a way to get girls, but he’s actually pretty decent now.

He starts off with a couple of country songs, then transitions into a Mumford and Sons one I’ve heard before but don’t know the words to. Lennon does. Her soft soprano mixes with Jake’s deeper baritone, adding to the bird calls and lap of lake water that were our only soundtrack before.

Like swimming earlier, singing is something I randomly discovered Lennon is really good at. I’d heard her hum along to the radio in the barn, but it wasn’t until we were driving in my truck one day and she started singing along that I realized she’s better than average.

She and Jake duet for another few songs before Lennon’s head droops on my shoulder. I hide a smile. I’m pretty sure the one time I called her after ten p.m., she was already asleep. It’s nearing midnight now, and neither of us got a full night’s sleep.

“Bed?” I murmur.

Lennon groans as she snuggles closer.

“We’re headed in,” I announce, standing with her in my arms.

“Cool,” Colt replies. “I’ll be ready for bed in like fifteen minutes, if you could come back to carry me in then.”

I can’t flip him off while I’m holding Lennon, but I’m pretty sure my face conveys the message.

Climbing a dirt path in the dark carrying someone is a challenge, but I manage to make it to the door. Lennon groans again when we reach the bright lights of the cabin. I walk through the living room and down the hall into our bedroom, closing the door with my foot before lying her down gently on the bed. When I start to stand up, she doesn’t let go. Her hands are clasped behind my neck, clinging to me like a monkey.

“Len,” I whisper, pulling back enough to see her face. Her eyes are wide open, her lips curved up mischievously.

“I don’t want you to go anywhere,” she murmurs, tightening her grip. I could easily break through her hold, but I don’t.

A lump forms in my throat. I know she’s not just talking about right now. She means next week, when I’m supposed to be back on campus. Next month, when I’ll still be at Clarkson. Next year, when I’m not sure where I’ll be.

“I’ll always come back, Lennon.”

“Do you promise?”

The vulnerability in her voice pierces right through the center of my chest. I shift so I’m supporting my weight on one arm while my other hand brushes across her cheek. “I promise. You’re the one thing I’m sure about. You’re my home. All the other stuff, it doesn’t matter. We’ll figure it all out.”

She gnaws on her bottom lip. “It’s your senior year. You shouldn’t be wasting time driving back to Landry and—”

“Len. Stop it. It’s what I want to be doing. If I could, I’d drive back every weekend.”

The anxiety on her face finally recedes. “I’m in this, Caleb. You’re better at saying how you feel and you’re making more sacrifices and—”

“Le—”

“Wait. Let me say this. I was wrong, back in high school. I didn’t believe you. I didn’t believe in us. And I’m so grateful…” Her voice breaks in the middle of the word, and she inhales before continuing. “I’m so grateful that you did. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, Caleb Winters. I want you to know, whatever happens this year, or next year, I’m in this. I’m all the way in. You could get drafted to a team that plays on Mars, and I’d wait twenty years for you to get back from space.”

I didn’t think it was possible to love Lennon any more than I already do. But the warmth in my chest is more powerful, more consuming, than anything I’ve experienced before. “Only twenty? What if the spaceship took a wrong turn and it took me twenty-one years to get back? I’d come back and replace you with another guy?”

She rolls her eyes and shoves my shoulder. Since it’s holding up all of my weight, I quickly drop my other elbow so I don’t crush her. “Way to ruin the moment.”

My smile mirrors her reluctant one. “I think you’re pretty good at saying how you feel.”

“Roll over,” she whispers. “I’ll show you too.”

And I know that’s the end of any serious conversation.