Let Me Love You Again
Chapter 71

Maya

That day had arrived and gone in a flash. All-day I had not received any news from Nate. Why didn’t he look for me?

Again I tried to wash Axel and he again refused. This time I forced him and scolded him and then put him in the bath to wash him. All the while he didn’t look at me and he just got himself washed up in silence with red eyes and swollen with tears.

I felt like s**t about it, but I couldn’t wait for Nate. Neither of us could wait for Nate.

I changed Axel and he remained silent without looking at me, offended to death with me.

Once I changed into his pajamas, I tried to put him to bed but he refused and kept repeating Dada endlessly.

I knew the argument was between me and Nate, but what was hurting the most was Axel, and that was one of the reasons I didn’t want anything to do with him at first.

Axel began to cry desperately, not wanting to stay in bed at all. I picked him up and went back to the salon and picked up my phone and dialed Nate’s number.

“Yes,” he said coldly.

“Where are you?” I asked as Axel continued sobbing.

“I’m in my old apartment finishing packing boxes,” he said and I heard the sound of boxes in the background.

“Dada,” Axel sobbed.

“What’s going on?” Nate asked in a concerned tone of voice.

“Can you come home? Axel hasn’t seen you in two days and he doesn’t want to sleep or eat, even if you’re mad at me, don’t bring him in,” I said.

“I’m not mad at you,” he sighed, “anyway, I was already coming back so don’t worry,” I heard the door to the apartment close and sighed.

“All right, I’ll wait for you,” I said and he hung up.

I sat on the sofa and looked at Axel in my arms, who looked back at me, his blue eyes red and tired but he had no intention of sleeping.

“Mama,” he said. I bent down and kissed him on the lips, “Mama” he repeated with his hands on my cheeks.

I cuddled him for a while until I heard the key in the lock. Axel snapped and turned his head towards the door as Nate came in.

His black hair was completely messed up and his shirt was wrinkled and dusty.

“Dada!” Axel squealed, trying to free himself from my embrace.

I put him on the ground and he held onto the sofa before moving towards Nate who immediately crouched to the ground and welcomed him into his arms. Axel made a few passes by himself and threw himself on Nate, hugging him tightly.

Nate got up and came to the couch, he still had his jacket on, and he kicked the door shut. Axel hung on to him while Nate filled him with k****s and sat in the chair with a sigh.

I watched them as I put my feet on the coffee table in front of me. Axel held his head in the gap between his neck and Nate’s head as he sighed fatigued as if he had worked all his life. I took the remote and started zapping the television while there was only grave silence between us.

“Whatever happens between you and me, don’t ever bring Axel into this again,” I said after a while.

Nate raised his head and looked at me, frowning, “I didn’t bring Axel into it,” he said immediately.

I raised an eyebrow “You disappear from the house and not even be seen by him anymore, if not to put him in the middle then I think we speak two different languages”.

“I didn’t disappear, I had two shitty days at work, plus I had to vacate the apartment. Have you forgotten? Or does it just matter what goes through your head?”

I bent my head to the side and I looked at him coldly, “Are you accusing me of messing with you?”

“No. I don’t want to fight Maya,” he got up and went to Axel’s room.

“You don’t want to fight, talk, or tell me the truth, do you?” I said.

Nate didn’t answer, but he closed the door behind him and I stood still and stared at the door. I was being a b***h and I knew it, but I wanted him to apologize, to say he loved me, that he just wanted me, and all that crap. I simply wanted him to reassure my soul, I needed it. I needed that confidence because soon I was going to have to face Brad and I wasn’t quite sure that I was standing still in my position, I was afraid to falter and I didn’t want to falter. That f*****g man abandoned me!

I just wanted to be sure that Nate was gonna be there for me, whatever happened or not with Brad about Axel, I wanted to make sure that he trusted me, that he really believed in what we had so that I could be strong enough to face him.

I closed my eyes and dropped my head on the back of the sofa, letting all my thoughts and fears crowd my head.

I don’t know how long I was in that position, but when I didn’t hear any more noise coming from Axel’s room, I got up and went to my room. I left the door open and changed and then I tucked under the covers.

I waited, and I waited, I don’t know how long I remained waiting but at a certain point sleep took over and the obligation enveloped me.

I was almost completely asleep when I heard Axel’s bedroom door closing and then steps entering the room. I wanted to open my eyes, look at him and talk to him but my body did not answer. But I felt him move.

He opened the closet and changed his clothes then approached me. With his fingers, he touched my face and then I felt his lips on my temple before oblivion wrapped me completely.

*****

I woke up with the alarm and turned it off immediately. With a sigh, I pulled myself up and noticed on the bedside table next to the bed a note with something written on it I took it.

Axel’s with me, don’t worry.

Have a good day

-N

That’s it? Why was he so cold to me? Didn’t he want us to solve it? I f*****g wanted us to solve it! It’s been like this for three f*****g days and I couldn’t take it anymore! I missed it!

I threw the blankets on the ground and grabbed my phone to dial Jess’s number.

“May May” chirped cheerfully.

“Your brother’s an a*****e,” I said.

Nate raised his head and looked at me, frowning, “I didn’t bring Axel into it,” he said immediately.

“Oh-oh. Troubles in paradise?” she said in response.

“Do you know the reason why he wanted to marry me so quickly?”

“Absolutely yes, I was the one to recommend it”

I froze with the coffee in mid-air, “What?” I said with my teeth clenched.

“May was an important issue and I suggested that he do it quickly. It wouldn’t have changed anything. Nate would have married you anyway. He is completely crazy about you. What difference does it make if it had been later? None! Or rather you! There would have been some difference! That a*****e could have taken advantage and done damage to Axel’s custody!” said Jess in one breath.

“Jess, he lied to me,” I said.

“You know I’d never defend my brother, I’d be the first to pillory him, but he didn’t lie to you, May, he protected you, that’s different.”

“He lied to me! He had to tell me about Brad! I wouldn’t do anything! It means he doesn’t trust me!”

“Where did you get this crap from?” Jess hissed “What the f**k May don’t be dramatic! The only thing Nate was really afraid of was the possibility that Brad might get close to Axel, not you. He trusts you completely. This is for Axel. He is always anxious for him, terrified that he may escape at any moment because he knows that he does not share his own b***d, I believe that this fear will always haunt him”

“I don’t care who Axel’s b***d father is. The only person in the world he loves like his father is Nate himself, and so do I. I would never change any of that” I poured coffee into my cup.

“But in the eyes of the law it was not so, that’s the difference May. What would you have done in his place? You would not have wasted time! Nate could very well have the adoption and taken custody of you completely, but he did everything to make sure you kept it. What exactly are you complaining about? I’ve never seen it so serious in my life”

I sighed and closed my eyes against the cupboard.

“What are you afraid of, May?” Jess repeated.

“Of what Brad wants to tell me” I admitted with a thread of voice “I just want him to reassure me that nothing will go wrong”

“Why don’t you f*****g tell him instead of sulking and doing the drama queen?!”

“I’m not a drama queen,” I excused myself.

“Ah no?” Jess asked, laughing, “Aren’t you the one complaining instead of clearing things up with him?”

“f**k you, Jess.”

“Andrew will take care of it,” she replied cheerfully.

“Since when are you the most diplomatic?”

“Since you opened your legs for my brother”

You roll your eyes and sigh, “What should I do?”

“First of all, stop being a b***h. Second, stop being a b***h, third, talk to him, and stop being a b***h,” Jess retorted.

“Don’t be a b***h, I get it. Thanks Jess, hormones are good for you.”

“I know, Andrew is especially pleased. Ciao amore!” she said this and hung up while I laughed.