Let Me Love You Again
Chapter 82

Jess

Hours had passed, too many hours, the sun had risen, and now it was lighting up the whole room when they had finally given me my epidural. I’ve never screamed so much for a shot as I did in the last few hours. Andrew had taken all the insults that I had poured on him without fighting back, on the contrary, he was kind enough to make me cry and while I just wanted to tear my belly and put an end to that torture.

Now I found my legs wide open and three people looking where only Andrew could look.

“Okay, Jess, is it time to push!” said the gynaecologist between my legs.

I pulled myself up and looked at her with blurred vision and tears in my eyes.

“On three, I want you to push as hard as you can, okay?” she said again and I nodded, “One, two, three! Push!”

And so I did. I pushed with all the strength in my body, feeling excruciating pain. I threw myself back on the bed exhausted and shook my head “I can’t do it” whimpering.

“It’s just the beginning, Jess, you have to keep pushing,” said the doctor.

“NO! I can’t do it”

“Push!”

I pulled myself up and pushed again with all the strength I had in my body and then I threw myself back on the bed exhausted.

“Enough,” I said

“Come on Jess the head is almost out”

“I said no!” I shouted.

“My love, you’re halfway,” Andrew said, stroking my hand.

“NO!” I shouted again and shook my head.

The gynaecologist looked at Andrew for a moment as I continued to breathe deeply. Andrew sighed and I saw him get up before he helped me sit down and get behind me. He wrapped me with his arms and laid down, grabbed my hands and crossed his fingers with mine.

“Okay baby, I’m here, now push, don’t you want to see our kids?” he said in my ear and then give me a k**s behind my ear.

I leaned my back to his muscular chest, letting his warmth envelop me and calm me as much as possible.

“Okay?” he said.

I nodded with my eyes closed and took a deep breath. I squeezed Andrew’s hands and pushed as hard as I could, screaming at the top of my lungs and then I fell exhausted against Andrew as he kissed my sweaty forehead. I closed my eyes and leaned against his lips when a cry burst in the room and we both snapped our heads, in fear, only to see the nurse wrap the little body in a blue cloth and give it to me.

“The male is out,” said the gynaecologist as the nurse put the child in my arms, I immediately surrounded him, carrying him to my chest.

He had a weeping red face and b***d and placenta, a tuft of blond hair attached to his forehead. He was so beautiful. Immediately I completely forgot everything around me, including the pain that had opened in two a few minutes before.

My heart filled with love for the little creature that I had in my arms while tears of joy flowed on my face. I bent down and kissed his hot, dirty head as he stretched and yawned.

Andrew put a hand on the back of our baby and kissed him, he also cried.

“He’s beautiful,” he said in a whisper.

I leaned against him and sighed as I cradled our son in my arms.

“Liam,” I said in a whisper as I watched my baby’s perfect face.

“I like it,” Andrew said, leaning over to k**s Liam’s little head, which in the meantime had calmed down and rested quietly in my arms.

“Okay, Mr and Mrs Springs, I have to take little Liam now so that our Brad here can wash and weigh him. It’s time to deliver your girl,” said the gynaecologist.

I gave Liam another k**s and let the nurse take him. I didn’t let him down with one look while the nurse gently cleaned him and took all the measurements.

I felt another contraction and I bent over.

“Okay, it looks like the little girl wants to get out right away, Jess, I want you ready to push, okay?”

I nodded and I started to breathe again, as the pain radiated all over my body. I grabbed Andrew’s hands again and prepared. I took a deep breath and then I pushed with all the strength that I had in my body, holding Andrew’s hands so tightly that I had a distinct feeling that I had broken them.

“That’s it, Jess, again!” said the gynaecologist and I pushed again and again and again and then fell destroyed against Andrew and another cry filled the room this time more acute.

I looked in front of me, selling my beautiful little girl being wrapped in another blue towel and being handed to me. I immediately grabbed her and carried her to my chest, cuddling her with love and joy.

Andrew wrapped us both in his arms as we cried together.

“Emma,” I said in a whisper and kissed her on the head.

Emma also had a strand of blond hair attached to her forehead, and it was stained with b***d and placenta.

The nurse came and I handed her to him to clean while another nurse came and placed Liam in my arms.

My baby was sleeping blissfully, he had a hospital bracelet strapped to his wrist, and he was wearing one of the leotards that Andrew and I brought.

I bent down to k**s him as Andrew pulled away from behind me and stood by the bed. I leaned over and left Liam in his arms. I snuggled between the pillows and looked at them as my eyes became thinking until the darkness enveloped me.

*****

I woke up with almost excruciating pain in my body. I opened my eyes and I found myself immersed in pillows and the sky had darkened.

I sighed and looked around and found my wonderful Andrew sitting in the armchair, in his arms he had two bundles wrapped in covers. One had a blue hat and the other one had pink one. I looked at them, full of love.

Andrew didn’t realize I was awake, he just kept the kids in front of him and looked at them. His grey eyes werered and shiny and every now and then he pulled up with his nose, with a stupid smile on his mouth. God, I loved that man.

As if he felt watched, Andrew looked up and met my eyes. I gave him a sweet smile and he mimed with his lips I love you and I answered Me too.

Andrew carefully moved the children and got up, I moved to the bed and made room for him. Andrew sat down next to me and placed Liam in my arms, and he stretched and yawned, his hands in front of his chubby face. I bent down and gave him a k**s and then inhaled his wonderful scent.

I leaned my head on Andrew’s shoulder as he kissed me on the forehead and whispered a “Thank you”.