Love is Weakness. [1]
Here We Go Again

Conan.

When I reach the office I start my laptop again. Pushing in Anastacia's number in a tracer I stare at the screen. Where would she be? What if Eadon was out there looking for her? I quickly shake that thought. Eadon wouldn't dare to come close to her again, especially not after what he did to Avril. The couple hours without Stacia are already rubbing off on me. I feel weaker and my wolf howls in my head. We spend so much time with her that he doesn't know how to be without her anymore. Once again I question wheter I should have marked her or not. My father was right, love is weakness. I should have just broken the bond and I could have gone back to my normal life. I have faced grief before and I didn't have a Mate lifting me up then either. But even my own thoughts hurt me.

This phonenumber is not connected.

Great, she still hasn't got her phone on. I browser in the history to see where it went off. The other side of the city.. That is weird, what would she do there? I write down the last street her phone has been on and hurry back to Duncan's car. I should have just ask her about her damn stuff. Ask her to stay with me for a while. It's not like she could afford her appartment on her own anyway. I shake my head at my own dumb behaviour. I get to the street where she last has been seen on her phone. There is no nearby hotel or B&B. Where is she?! I search for hours through the city but without luck. When I almost fall asleep behind the wheel I decide to turn back. I will take a nap and continue searching. I will replace her.

The day after I spend from noon till evening searching. I have called all my contacts and spread my photo everywhere. Kacey and a few others searched too but without luck. Nobody knows where she is. Her phone is still off and Tiffany calls me every two minutes to ask for an update. The more she calls, the more we lose hope. I feel like I'm losing my sanity. My health is already going down and my head is dizzy often. But I don't give up. I search in every place twice and when I can't scent her anywhere I move up my search area. My phone rings and I look down at the display. When I see her name, I almost sway off the road. I pick up while I put my car in a parking spot.

'I'm coming back, are you home? We need to talk.' her sweet voice fills my ear and I moan in pleasure. I missed her so much. I quickly tell her I'll be home soon and get out of the parking space. She needs to talk. What would it be out? I will surely apologize. A million times if I have to. Right then and there I make my decision. I will mark her. My wolf springs up and down in my head, chasing his own tail howling in excitement. I laugh at him, feeling his happiness rub off on myself. I can't wait to tell her! I hope she'll be my Mate. I will talk to Tiffany first to convince Stacia.

I send Duncan a mindlink saying Stacia is okay and that I want to mark her. I give him orders to talk about it with Tiffany and make her talk to Stacia later. This is going to be alright!

Finally you've come to your senses. Congrats, Alpha.

I roll my eyes at Duncan's responds. Now that he has found his Mate he is even worse then he used to was. I drive home so fast that I even drove through a couple of red lights. Oh well, I'll just pay the tickets. I missed my Mate.

When I come in the house I already smell her. She is here and she let herself in. That's a good sign! I follow her scent into the living room. She is sitting on the couch and I immediatly wrap her up in a hug. I hear her sigh deeply and I smile. She missed me too. I sit down next to her but I don't let go of her hands.

'I am so sorry that I moved you things here without asking permission. The thing is, I've been an Alpha for so long that I have forgotten how to ask for things. But you make me want to be a better man and not just the wolf side of the man.' My eyes search her face for any reaction. I could be mistaken but I think I read sadness. Why would she be sad? She pulls me in for a hug and whispers assuring words. She forgives me! I'm so happy. Orcan jumps around in my head, begging me to come out.

'Orcan want's a cuddle too.' I say laughing. Stacia nods at me and stands up to turn around. I quickly undress and let Orcan out to play. He jumps against her, taking her to the ground and licks her face everywhere. Stacia giggles and puts her arms around his neck. We both feel the love radiating our way. She will accept us! She will be our Mate, Luna to our pack and we will be together forever.

After a couple of hours running around with Stacia I send her to Tiffany's house. Kacey sends me a mind link that she is coming by. She's been waiting for this for a long time, so she'll probably want to celebrate it. I go make us some tea and a quick snack. When I get back in the livingroom Kacey is already sitting there. I smell nerves coming off of her. That is not good, Kacey is never nervous. I put the stuff on the table and go sit across her.

'What's wrong?' I ask her in a demanding voice. I don't want her to talk around it.

'There has been something about your mother's death that I have never told you.' Kacey says with sad eyes. 'I never told you because I didn't want you to feel any worse about what happend. But I've heard you're going to mark Stacia and I don't know what reason there's behind this but I think you should know the whole story.' I gesture at her to keep going. I don't want to talk about my parents, not in this happy moment. But I have the feeling that I should listen.

One day when you and Eadon were around eleven, your father had to go the boarder. There were some Rogue's, wolves without a pack, trying to get into ours. Back then Rogue's often came to get a place in the pack, but your father always refused them believing they were too wild. Your father left with two others. One woman and one man, mates. The woman Nathalia believed that Rogue's were desperate and that they wouldn't be so if they were just given a chance. It was a long fight, the Rogue was an ex-Alpha, so he was strong and well trained. At last the man had the Rogue pinned to the ground. Just as he wanted to snap his neck his Nathalia stopped him. She wanted to give the Rogue an honest chance. Distracted by his Mate's voice the warrior looked away. That's when the Rogue grapped his chance and broke the warriors neck in two with one bite. Nathalia was devestated, she charged forwards and the Rogue killed her too. Your father was ofcourse stronger then the Rogue and he killed him. Nathalia and her Mate Marco left behind two childeren. The two that left the pack when they turned sixteen. Your father was absolutely broken. Nathalia and Marco were his close friends and warriors for years. So your father decided that if all packs would be united as one pack, they would be too strong to ever be defeated again. He wanted to challenge Alpha's so he would grow his pack. You see, Eadon didn't come up with that plan himself. It has always been your father's plan. However, you know your mother didn't agree with the madness of your father. Conan, the ritual that killed your mother was him breaking their Mate bond so he didn't have to listen anymore. Once you're marked, you will kill your Mate if you break the bond.

Kacey looked at me with serious eyes. This was all too much. Father wanted to take over all the packs? He wanted to kill all those Alpha's like Eadon did? Then I remember why she is telling me this. If I mark Stacia, I can't go back on it or she'll die. I look at Kacey with determent eyes.

'So I see father didn't just scarred me, but he also made Eadon who he is. However, I don't want Anastacia just for now. I have been afraid for a long time, but even more now I've heard the true reasons mother died I want Stacia to be my Mate, the mother of my pups and the Luna of my pack.' A bright smile takes over Kacey's face as she comes towards me to grab me in a hug. I let her hug me, but I don't hug her back. Lost in thoughts about my father and my mother's past, my own future and that of Eadon. Once he was a brother, ruined by father just like me. If I was saved, maybe he could be too.