Lustful Hearts
Chapter 46: Thе Bіg O - P1

"Hey you," I breathed, sinking deeper into the pillow, watching as Joel strolled back into the room. I was feeling drained after the long, intense conversation with my mother.

Her reaction to my injury had been way overboard. It had taken a lot of calming down, even reassurances from the doctor himself had barely appeased her.

I had received the all clear on the head scans, but I had to remain in hospital overnight. My ankle was badly twisted and heavily bandaged, so I'd been given crutches as a means to get around on.

I had sent Joel out of the lion's den before she had arrived. Of course he had put up a protest wanting us to face her together, but I couldn't allow my mother's cruel, harsh words to crush him.

I wanted to intervene first, to get everything sorted before they got together in the same room again. We had spent an hour talking and despite her dubious look, she left looking a lot happier. The sight of Joel alone brought a smile to my face. His presence brightened up everything that was cold and clinical about the room.

His smile was like sunshine, and I sighed, feeling the warmth spread throughout my body, welcoming it into every pore.

He shuffled over and sat down in the chair beside me. I moaned softly when his lips lingered on mine. I cupped his face with my hand and brushed my thumb along his cheekbone. His eyes closed and our foreheads rested against each other.

I savoured every single moment, breathing in his delicious scent. I still couldn't believe he was here. During my darkest of days, I never thought it would be possible.

He broke away from my lips to press little butterfly kisses over every inch of my face. My eyes fluttered shut, and I shivered at every single touch.

It was pure heaven against my skin. I never wanted it to end. I wanted it to go on forever and be in a permanent state of bliss, but then it did end.

My eyes sprang open when his warm, soft lips left my skin. I was confused as to why he had ceased such pleasure.

He looked at me warily, his eyes desperately searching mine, almost too scared to speak. I knew the words he was about to say before they even left his lips. "Don't," I whispered frowning, not wanting to go there. I didn't want to talk about it. I just wanted to forget.

"Iz, we need to talk about David."

I instantly pulled away in horror at the mention of his name. Turning so my back became a barrier between us as the tears began to flow.

"Iz, I heard him say you'd slept with him. Is that true?"

The sobs became louder. My biggest mistake was forever going to haunt me. The bed dipped when Joel crawled in behind me, spooning me tightly.

"It's okay if you did, Iz. We were on a break, and you thought I was cheating." He paused, waiting for my answer. But even after his words of reassurance, I had no guarantee he would still feel the same.

I swallowed deeply trying to clear my throat. I felt sick at the thought of telling him something, I knew would ultimately break him.

"I went to a party. Elijah forced me, he said he was sick of me moping around over you. He said I needed to move on, and that's where I met David. At first, he seemed nice, and he slowly charmed me, getting me wasted. I just wanted a night off from missing you.

I drank to forget how miserable I was, and he took advantage of that..." My voice broke, and I started to sob again. His arms grew tighter around me, and his lips gently pressed against my neck, giving me the strength to carry on.

"In my head I was kissing you, that's the only thing I recall, the rest is a blank. I remember waking up afterwards and realising what he had done. I felt so cheap and disgusted with myself. I'm not a one night stand girl. All I ever wanted was you-"

My hands gripped his tightly, clinging onto him. His body providing the support I needed to deal with the pain.

I would always feel safe and secure in his arms, but the trickle of cold tears against my skin instantly snapped me out of my own misery. I was more concerned for his suffering than my own.

I turned to console him. "Hey, I'm fine. You're back now. I just want to forget about it. He doesn't deserve anymore of my tears. I just want to concentrate on us. I have missed you so much."

His head dropped down, and he cried hard into my chest. I soothingly stroked his hair, pulling him close and wrapped my arms around him, trying to ease the pain I know I had inflicted.

"I should never have left," he whispered, clinging on to me tighter, his body shaking next to mine.

"It was a good job opportunity you needed to go, I was just too insecure. The Facebook comments and photos just twisted the knife, setting off my paranoia even more. Then when I heard the message that I wasn't important, I just wanted to curl up in a ball and die."

Tears streamed down my face at the memory, remembering every emotion I had when I thought he had abandoned me.

His head pulled up to look at me, our eyes locking together. "You know you're the most important person, right? That no one would ever come close? Our time spent apart wasn't easy on me either, Iz. I spent the whole month languishing in my own misery.

The job was the only thing stopping me from falling deeper into my own personal hell, but I need to know, Iz, why did you act so cold with me on the last few days of the holiday? What did I do wrong that you couldn't bear to let me touch you? It nearly killed me being so near, yet you seemed so far."

My whole body froze, oh god, it was confession time. I gulped down the lump in my throat and let out a deep sigh. I needed to compose myself before facing the moment of truth.

"After we had that lovely cosy day together you started to act weird, you just left, no explanation, nothing. I waited for you to come back, after an hour had gone past, I got really worried and rang your phone, but you'd left it in the cottage." I paused, taking some deep breaths.

"I checked your phone. I know it was wrong, but I needed to know why you were acting so strange. I read the last text you received before you left, and it was from a Lauren." I felt his body stiffen at the sound of her name.

"Joel." My voice broke slightly, hesitant to know the truth. "Are you still seeing her?" I closed my eyes, scared of what his answer would be.

"No, but it's complicated, Iz. We have a history, and unfortunately, there will always be something between us."

My eyes sprang open at his words. I could tell by his face he was being genuinely honest, but I didn't understand why he would still be seeing her.

I pushed back from him feeling slightly annoyed. "Like what? Joel, you need to tell me. I am sick of worrying myself stupid over all these girls."

He sighed heavily and lay back down, pulling me back in so both our noses were touching.

"Iz, Lauren was pregnant with my child." He closed his eyes like the words were too painful to speak.☐☐☐☐☐☐