Lustful Hearts
Chapter 76: Bіrthdау Celebrations- P1

My ears registered the noise but it was like being submerged under water, his mouth was moving, but I just didn't hear the words.

My mind was always busy wandering somewhere else. I spent most of my days like this, zoned out. It was the only way to keep sane.

It was like I'd unhooked the plug on real life and checked out of my head, but being around Elijah that never lasted long. Alone I would spend hours subconsciously drifting in and out. I knew it wasn't good for me, but right now it was the only coping mechanism that worked.

"Izzy, are you even listening to me?"

"Yes, Elijah." I huffed as I sat back on the bed, bringing my knees up to my chin. His words instantly made me go into defensive mode, waiting for his usual interrogation to start. "What did I say then?"

Oh shit.

"What do you mean?" I asked in an attempt to buy some time as my brain struggled to recap the last five minutes, wondering what he'd actually said.

"What was I just talking about?" He crossed his arms, and his eyes bored deep into mine.

This was not good.

The chances of it being about himself were always pretty high. It was his favourite subject after all and always a safe bet to go with.

"You were talking about your birthday?" I replied, feeling hopeful my answer was correct. I'd be in for a world of pain if it was wrong.

Elijah narrowed his eyes at me as his tongue flicked across his lip. "Lucky guess. Now listen up, we need to make arrangements for the big day."

Oh god.

I needed this lecture like a hole in the head. I stopped my eyes mid roll knowing his were firmly locked on mine. Instead I just sat frozen, busy rolling my eyes internally where he couldn't see. "This needs to be taken seriously, Izzy. It's my big day, and I want everything to be perfect."

Jeez, always such a drama queen.

"Fine," I snapped. Not feeling up for another one of his lectures, I'd do anything just for some peace and quiet.

Elijah smiled and pulled out a pad. "So we're having the meal at Dukes, the new restaurant in town. There are ten of us going, unless you have anyone you'd like to invite?"

My eyes widened at his plus one suggestion, my mind automatically returning to Joel. Once again being reminded I was left all alone.

A warm hand brushed up against my shoulder. "Hey, I'm sorry if I've upset you."

"You haven't, I just need to get used to the fact I'm on my own." I couldn't look up at that precise moment. I could barely breathe. My heart felt like it was being squeezed at the reality of my words that were so cruel and painful.

"Hey, you'll always have me and Sam. We'll always be there for you."

I smiled softly at his sweet words. "I know and thank you." He was trying his best to be there as a friend, but there was no avoiding the gaping hole left in my heart.

"What time do we have to be ready?" I asked, quickly changing the subject. I couldn't handle his look of pity a moment longer.

"Saturday at seven p.m. We're taking a taxi there, so we'll pick you up on the way. Make sure you wear a dress," he said sternly.

My eyes instantly flashed to his in annoyance. "I'll be far more comfortable—"

Elijah quickly cut me off. "We're going out afterward to a club, so you're wearing a dress and if not, then I'll march you back up the stairs to make you change, you got me?" "Jeez, okay, loud and clear." He wasn't taking any prisoners.

"Good girl and make sure you curl your hair too. We're going all out, and I want you looking hot. I guess while I'm here I might as well pull out the outfit, so I know you'll be perfect." He threw open the wardrobe doors, sifting through the rows of clothes, finally coming to rest on a short white dress that was trimmed with black. "Perfect," he said, almost to himself.

"I guess I don't get a say then?" I huffed while he blatantly ignored my comment.

"Now we need shoes." He twisted his face, scrutinising my shoe rail. "Ah ha, these will give you a colour pop." He lifted up the red stilettos and grabbed the black clutch holding them together. "Yeah, I think that will work nicely."

I pulled a face, not looking forward to traipsing around in shoes, which would literally shred my feet the majority of the night.

I'd gotten used to my comfy clothes but turning up at the restaurant in sweats and Converse, I was guessing was not an option.

The moment he turned around, I put on a big old fake smile to masquerade my annoyance. I didn't want him having another go at me; I just wanted to be left in peace.

Twenty minutes later, I was left alone with my thoughts, sinking deeper into the darkness, welcoming every single part that circulated through my veins.

I didn't need to put on an act with myself, there was no need to hide my own misery. It was the only time I truly acted real.

Saturday rolled by and as much as I wanted to languish in my own pain, it was Elijah's birthday. He would hunt me down and personally dress me himself if I even attempted to get out of going.

I needed to ease myself into this, so I began drawing a bubble bath, hoping the mixture of soothing aromas would de-stress and lighten my present mood.

Lying back I tried to blank out what was ahead of me tonight. Elijah, of course, would be in top form entertaining everyone.

I would have to fix on a smile and put up with it all for a few hours until I returned home, and then the mask would slip once again.

I would take tonight as a way of reacquainting myself with my old friend vodka. Losing my mind for a few hours seemed like the perfect form of escapism right now. Maybe tonight wouldn't be so bad after all?

The taxi arrived at six thirty sharp, and Elijah leapt out before it had even come to a halt. "Well, hello, sexy girl, see I knew behind all those layers there was a hot body.

You are so rocking that dress and goddamn those heels, if I was a straight guy you'd certainly be getting lucky tonight."

His lips pressed against my forehead and I pulled back, embarrassed by all the attention. Only to replace the taxi driver and Sam looking over at us both, grinning.

He cupped my chin with both hands, his eyes staring deep into mine. His face suddenly grew serious and brought a frown to my own.

"Thank you for coming out tonight. I know you'd rather be curled up in your sweats, lost in your Kindle world, but I need my best friend here on my birthday."