Lyon
Chapter 78

Coming back home was a little depressing, not a lot because we’d missed everyone. But for two amazing weeks it had been just us, me Kat and the baby. I’d pretty much come to terms with this fatherhood shit in the last few days or so since we’d been back.

I mean Daniel did it, not that I’d be asking the pothead for advice though he was chocked full of suggestions. I listened to his shit with a grain of salt. Drake was cool and Cy was chomping at the bit to get his hands on the little one.

In fact everyone was excited like it was a celebrity baby or some shit. Elena was a pest and my sisters weren’t much better but their reactions were good for my girl because she seemed to revel in that shit.

I took a lot of teasing that first week back because that’s when I went into over protective mode. Whatever; their excitement also helped me to get over some of my angst and though it didn’t go away entirely it was much better now.

I’d done some things to safeguard against any f**k ups and I’d had a good long talk with myself that put most if not all of my fears to rest.

My kid was going to be f*****g perfect, everything was going to go smooth from birth I won’t have it any other way. From the delivery room until the little shit became a grown man daddy was going to make sure his life was set.

The delivery room, f**k! I can’t deal with that bullshit so moving right the f**k along. From the time he comes home until he leaves the nest at eighteen to go to college or what the f**k ever he chooses to do with his life, his whole life is going to be perfect.

Nothing was going to go wrong ever. Good that’s settled, I have my shit together finally. I had that shit settled in my head and that was all I needed to get me through the day. If I dwelt on anything else I’d freak the f**k out.

I wondered a lot in those first months how men dealt with this shit. Angel gets to carry the baby yes, but as her husband I worry about both of them constantly. What if something goes wrong? What if they get hurt?

It was like living with a sword at my f*****g throat and no matter how much people told me to relax and enjoy this time I didn’t see how I could. I got joy out of seeing how happy my girl was but I can’t lie I was scared as f**k most of the time. Not the manliest thing to admit to but there it is. I could face grown men in battle but this little baby had me by the balls. They ought to be a support group for fathers to be just saying.

We settled into married life easily. I knew what my responsibilities were as a husband and I took that shit seriously. She also knows what I expect from her so with the two of us on the same page maybe that had a lot to do with the smoothness of the transition.

Anyone who claims marriage is just a piece of paper is full of shit. There’s nothing sexier I’ve found than when I’m balls deep in my wife and I see that ring on her finger. The ring I put there as a promise to her, to me to our future.

My Angel calls me her caveman but whatever, that shit means something to me. And with the baby coming she gets all the love she can stand. Her mother and mine pick up the slack when I have to put in long hours.

Because of all the new publicity business has been out of control and sometimes I have to stay way later than usual but I make sure she knocks off at a decent hour.

The kid makes her tire easily these days so I’m always on the lookout for that. She worries about stupid shit like getting fat and crazy bullshit but I’m always there to smooth that mess out.

I replace one of the easiest ways to make her feel like her man is still into her completely is to be in her as often as f*****g possible. It’s a win win.

I’d just left her upstairs sleeping. It’s the only time I get to putter around in my little workshop without distractions.

I heard the tread of her feet on the stairs, which meant I was about to be invaded. I wonder what fuckery she’s going to throw at me now? There’s always something with this girl, she likes to keep me on my toes with this baby shit that’s for damn sure.

“Colton what in the world is all this?”

“What?” I knew she was going to come down here and start her shit with me sooner or later; I’m surprised it took her this long.

She spread her arms out to indicate the contents of the room. It’s what I like to call my man cave. I’d taken a corner of the big a*s basement that was never in use except for the half that housed our home gym, and turned it into my own little space.

Hopefully she’d let me keep it because it seems to me women take over every f*****g thing. And when nosy a*s Elena and Char, not to mention their new sidekick Tina got to planning and shit I’d be lucky to be left with my side of the bed. F*****g women are a pain in the a*s.

“Babe this is all for lil man.” She gave me the ‘men are stupid look’. I don’t know if it’s hormones or what but when she wasn’t using me for s*x I was usually at the receiving end of one of those looks.

More often than not it came right behind me telling her she couldn’t do some stupid f**k thing she wanted to do. Like climbing the stairs with packages that were taller than she was, or eating chocolate ice cream for breakfast.

Even I knew that she wasn’t allowed to do that shit that it was all about healthy foods and shit. But when I tried to feed her the healthy crap they recommended in the books she threatened to throw that shit at my head, go figure.

She’s been getting away with a lot of shit these days because she knew I wouldn’t tan her a*s while she was pregnant. Though there was still no sign of a pregnant belly yet.

She was still a tiny little bit of a thing with a whole lot of l*p. Her body still makes me crazy as f**k with the piercings and tats that screamed she was mine and that wild as f**k hair that makes me think of fisting it while I slam her from behind.

Damn get a grip Lyon. I’d been afraid the s*x would taper off a bit because of the baby on board but I’m happy to say I was wrong. Everyday I woke up happy as f**k that I’d found her that she was now mine and will always be.

We didn’t talk about the past too much, just once in a while she’d have a flash back or a nightmare but those were growing less and less. When that shit happened I usually ended up loving her back to sleep.

I found that if I held her close all night they stayed away so problem solved. Our whole focus since coming back from our honeymoon has been the baby. It was all about the kid and like Daniel once said if mommy’s happy the baby will be too. Probably the only lucid moment the f**k’s had in a year.

Sometimes after reading one of my new books I felt the excitement of what was to come next. I could actually see her with a round tummy, ripe and blossoming with my child.

Then other times I’d wake up in a cold sweat and scared out of my f*****g mind. I knew that the fear was because this was unknown territory for me. It was something that I couldn’t control and I didn’t like that shit one bit. She’s been doing her thing too.