Maliha
62: Accepting the Past

“Maliha? Is that you? Papa, it’s Maliha.”

Maliha’s green eyes opened slowly at the loud commotion being made. Her eyes widened at the very pregnant sight of Nia. Her lips were wider, and her features slightly swollen with the carrying of a new life. Her once long and pale blonde hair was a dirty brown and her vibrant blue eyes looked haggard. The ethereal quality that Nia had once carried in abundance had seemed to disappear under the harsh conditions of the Svolik but the joy in her eyes could not be confused. Such joy left Maliha perplexed.

“Nia, how are you doing?” Maliha smiled politely as she awkwardly excepted Nia’s embrace.

“I can’t believe it is you, what a way the goddess works.”

Maliha’s head tilted to the side in bewilderment at Nia’s reference to a singular deity. The last she knew of the Melikit tribe, they had worshipped multiple deity’s and held not one in preference over another.

“The goddess does work in mysterious ways.” Maliha bitterly acknowledged this as she spotted Javid clinging to who Maliha assumed was his father. His stature was one that Maliha would never forget causing all of her self-deprecating thoughts to crop up in her mind.

Sensing Maliha’s distress, Ujarak placed his arm securely around her waist whilst Enzo nestled his head into Uja’s chest. Enzo’s large grey eyes drooping in fatigue now that he knew his father was safe.

“Is this your- your husband Maliha?” Nia’s eyes gleamed with interest and what appeared to be genuine excitement.

“No, but yours is approaching now.” Maliha’s throat was thick with suppressed emotions that not even she could decipher or understand. Her hands shook as the familiar physique approached them.

His piercing grey eyes lamenting onto Maliha’s soul. As soon as they were in touching distance, Javid reached out for Maliha and she reluctantly took him into her arms.

“I am assuming that you are the one who took after Javid?”

Maliha’s mouth ran dry as the familiar and yet different voice questioned her. The man before her had vastly changed from the young boy she had once known and yet she could still see remnants of the old him in this older and man.

“Yes, he stayed with my son and me.”

“Well thank you, I appreciate it- “

“Maliha,” she reintroduced herself with pride and stenches that she did not feel.

Ujarak’s grunt of approval had made her façade turn into a reality. She was strong and she was proud of the woman she was becoming.

“Maliha? He whispered in awe.

Glee flitted across her face when she noticed the flash of recognition in his eyes. “Yes, it is me Petr, congratulations on your mating and children.” Maliha smiled sweetly.

“Javid is not my son, he is my sister Amala’s son, but we have not found her yet.”

Maliha swallowed her emotions and tried her best to be impartial. “I’m sorry to hear that, my father sent out warriors to replace them a few nights ago.”

Ujarak shifted at Maliha’s side, his free hand climbing possessively as he stared down at Petr. Although there was a clear language barrier, Ujarak could see the way in which Petr was staring at Maliha and how he had blatantly ignored the presence of his wife.

“I will speak to my father and see if we have found Amala and her daughter. Please make yourselves comfortable and Nia please make sure you eat something. Again, congratulations on your child. May the goddess grant you a healthy child and a prosperous paring.”

Nia stumbled over a weak thank you and as Maliha handed Javid over, her gaze remained on the woman who had once been her sister, with such indifference. Maliha had always thought that this moment would break her, cripple her and for a moment seeing Nia’s pregnant swollen belly had almost done that. That was until she felt Ujarak by her side. His presence alone was enough to remind her that a future with Petr had never been hers and with that acknowledgement, all of her apprehensions seemed to dwindle down to nothing.

Ujarak was not Petr. Although he could be callous and mean, demanding and abrupt, Ujarak was not a man who loved lightly. It would take him a while to realise and accept such emotion but when he did, there was nothing he would not do to keep his loved one. Petr was not that type of man and seeing him only confirmed to Maliha that she had never loved Petr. Not in the way she had imagined. She had been in love with the thought of love. The idea of being accepted and cared for was what had tied her to Petr which was why losing him had been so heartbreaking because she had lost her sense of belonging and self-worth.

Nia’s soft voice halted Maliha in her retreat. “I know it may be too late, but I want to apologise. I was mean and cruel to you, we all were. I did not treat you like one of us and I took someone important from you when you had no one else. I had no right. I’m sorry, there is no justification for my actions.

Maliha was starting to believe that people were put into your life for a reason. They were there to teach lessons and, on this occasion, to guide you onto the path that was sometimes always destined for you. Without the Melikit’s callous treatment and Petr’s abrupt and cruel dumping, Maliha would have never left that tribe and as a result, never found her people.

“You can never take from me what was ordained to be mine and clearly Petr was not. So, thank you, both of your actions and words set me on a journey that led me to here. I’m where I was always meant to be.”

Maliha placed her delicate palm in Ujarak’s much larger hand as they walked away. There was still

much for them to resolve but Maliha felt better knowing that chapter of her life was officially over.

Maliha squeezed Ujarak’s hand, “Thank you for your support.”

“I didn’t understand a word of your conversation, but I could tell that you were uncomfortable. Was that him?”

“Yes.”

Ujarak grunted gruffly, “He is a lot less intimidating then I anticipated he would be. I imagined him to be so much more considering the hold he had over you, but he was very underwhelming.”

Maliha chuckled lightly at Ujarak’s tirade. Though she agreed with Uja, she knew that Ujarak was only saying those things to reassure himself. “I think my memory of him was greater than the reality. Sometimes we can convince ourselves of things that truly did not exist. Time is rarely our friend”

Ujarak tilted his head in interest, “How so?”

“I convinced myself that I loved him, that he was this great man and our bond was so pure, so much so that when he rejected me, I felt worthless, but the reality was something different. I never loved him in the way I thought I did and by holding onto the memory of him, I was subconsciously comparing everyone to an unrealistic memory and expectation. If this great man could hold my heart in his hand and break it so coldly, who was to say that anyone else couldn’t. That you couldn’t? I think that was another reason why I ran.”

“I didn’t make your fears any easier, I literally did all that he did and more.”

“I agree but yours came from a different place and I think if I did not have all of these reservations and insecurities, I would have seen that and then allowed you the time to process everything but because I had been hurt before and by a man who meant the world to me, I couldn’t give you that. so, I am sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry,” Ujarak tutted, “I have continuously communicated one thing with my words and another with my body. The fault lies with me alone. Had I been consistent with you from the start, I doubt that my words would have sent you running so quickly.”

Maliha acknowledged that truth.

“I guess this time apart has given us the clarity that we were not able to gain whilst together.”

“I agree. Time apart has really put my life into perspective. Without you and Enzo the world has no meaning.”

Maliha pulled away from his intense gaze, her eyes focussing on her father’s hut where her brother would be healing.

“I’ll put Enzo to sleep,” Maliha mumbled awkwardly while taking her sleeping son from Ujarak’s arms. Uja opened his mouth to speak but then shut it again, his eyes dimming and his shoulder dropping in defeat. “If you are free in an hour, I would like to speak to you alone. It’s important.” Ujarak’s head shot up at Maliha’s not so subtle demand. His head nodded eagerly as he watched Maliha retreat inside the hut.

The hut was dimly lit with flickering lights and a soft chant carried from her brother room. Maliha stripped Enzo and then tucked him inside the bed before she headed down the narrow corridor to her brothers’ room.

The chants grew louder the closer she moved. Through a sliver in the door, she caught sight of her brothers writhing form and her aunt Filsan praying over him. His thigh was bandaged and stained a dark red and his eyes were covered in a thin dark strip of material. Sweat beaded on her Makaio’s skin and dripped down his body in rivulets. Maliha reached to open the door but abruptly halted when her aunts’ white eyes snapped up at her.

Clutching her heart in fear, Maliha closed the door firmly and stepped outside for fresh air. The crunching of grass made her aware of someone’s approach.

“I don’t think it has been an hour yet.”

“It hasn’t but I couldn’t wait any longer. Walk with me?”

Maliha nodded her head slowly and walked beside him. The tension was thick between them bit Maliha tried her hardest to ignore it and refocus on what she would say. When they were a fair distance from her home, Maliha sunk to the grass and patted the earth beside her, motioning for Ujarak to sit beside her. His shoulder grazed against hers and she found herself leaning into his touch. This night reminded her of all those many nights they shared under the starlit sky.

“I guess I should start.” Maliha croaked, still staring off into the distance. “Makula showed me the missive you sent her. I understand, that was not what you wanted or intended but I am glad she did show me because I would feel so guilty if you made that decision based off of temporary feelings.”

Ujarak puffed out an aggravated breath of air as he twisted to face Maliha. “My feelings for you are not temporary. I love you and if I have to give up my position as Razi to prove that to you, then I will. I will happily do that because as I have stated so many times before, you are my life. You and our son give me more purpose than anything else ever has and I know I have a weird way of showing it. I know I have hurt you on multiple occasions and even though my actions were rooted in my own fear and lack of knowledge of what true love is, I can admit I was wrong. I was so wrong, and I regret my words daily. I regretted those words as I said them. I am sorry and I will do anything to prove it. Anything.”

Maliha remained silent as she slowly processed and accepted his words. There could be no more denying it, Ujarak was taking accountability for his actions and openly baring his heart with not only his words but also his actions.

“When I said temporary feelings, I didn’t mean yours I meant mine. I didn’t want you to make such a life-altering decision when for the past few days I have been doubting my own choices. I want to trust you again. I want to give us that chance, but you have to understand that I can’t take much more. I won’t take more, so don’t put me in this position ever again because I will not choose you again.”

“Never.” Ujarak murmured fervently as he pulled her into his arms. Maliha giggled as she toppled on top of him, causing Uja to fall flat onto the grass. A wistful smile spread across her lips as she stared down at him.

“I have missed you.” She smiled shyly, stroking at his freshly washed skin.

“I missed you more. I love you and whether you decide to return to the Der Surjaz or stay here, my choice is you.” Ujarak rubbed his thumb over her cheek and then gripped her chin in his clap, pulling her face closer to his until their lips were touching.

Maliha’s eyes shuttered closed as the world shifted around her. Being in Ujarak’s embrace always felt so right. Their tongues duelled together as bit by bit clothes became discarded. They had no care for the fact that they were close to her house and outside where anyone could see them. All that mattered was their joining and living in this beautiful moment.

With his lips, hands and words, Ujarak told Maliha how different things would be this time. As their bodies joined in a furious rhythm, Maliha showed Ujarak that she was open to exploring their future together.

Whatever that future looked like, Maliha knew she wanted to share it with him.