Mandy and the Tentacle Monster (Urf Oomons #1)
Mandy and the Tentacle Monster: Chapter 4

Calm. I must remain calm. That is the important thing in any emergency situation. Do not let panic and fear overtake me. I need to be calm and take in my surroundings and try to come up with a plan.

I can hear the tentacle monsters talking with each other. They are scary as hell and I can’t understand what they are saying. Their language seems to consist of hiccups and whistles. The whistles don’t sound like any sound a human could make, more like the noise you would expect from a bird. Add to that a few clicks. I guess it isn’t clicks – more like snaps, but not. Anyway, the point is, I can’t understand what these nightmarish things are saying. I’m pretty sure I’ve been abducted by aliens. I do remember an abduction, but I’m not clear on how exactly I was abducted.

I should try to remember. Ok, I was on a job. Two jobs actually. I was working as a makeup artist and back up dancer in a music video. I know what you’re thinking, I must be hot stuff to be in a music video. No. First of all, it wasn’t a music video by anybody you’ve ever heard of. Just some super-rich 19-year-old who had more money than sense or talent. He decided to make himself a music video for direct release on his youtube channel. Anyway, it’s not a real music video, but he was paying us real money. And I’m not a video vixen. I’m a little too old and a lot too curvy. But this spoiled rich kid offered to double my paycheck. So I agreed to shake my moneymaker with the other dancers. After doing everybody’s hair and makeup, of course. That’s what I do for a living. I have many talents that include painting, drawing, tattooing, piercing, dancing, and singing. But makeup and hair are where I make my money.

So, back to the abduction. We were shooting out in the desert. There was a film crew, a director, caterers, dancers, two drivers, three security guys. I definitely noticed the security guys. They were very hot in a beefy way. And one of them was definitely noticing me. And there was a handful of assistants. So, altogether about two dozen people. One minute we’re shooting the video and the next moment we are all in a naked pile in what seems to be a small warehouse. We figured out that we were in an enclosure where we couldn’t see the walls until we bumped into them. Everybody started freaking out. Some were crying, some were running into the invisible wall, and the rich kid was yelling. I guess everybody deals with terror and stress in their own way. So, that’s when the aliens show up. Real aliens. Like those skinny, grey ones with big heads and shiny black eyes. Three of them came into the warehouse and walked over to our enclosure. That’s when everybody, including me, started to freak out for real. I mean, anybody would freak out when confronted with honest-to-god aliens.

That’s when I passed out the first time. And that’s when I was hurt. I’m not sure about this part, but at some point I was trampled. I came to and my head hurt, like terrible aching pain and I felt sick and threw up. Then I noticed that my ankle couldn’t hold my weight, it seemed to be broken. I kept dozing off and waking up to someone dragging me around. Lots of yelling and screaming. I must have passed out again.

Anyway, I knew I was in a bad way.

But I’m all better now. I haven’t tried to stand up, but laying here with my eyes closed, I feel great. Scared of the giant tentacle monsters, but otherwise I’m good.

I had been having a nightmare. A bad one, but I can’t remember exactly what it was about. The details of my nightmares are always kind of foggy when I wake. But, the thing is, I seemed to wake from one nightmare into another. Suddenly I was looking at a terrifying monster with sharp teeth and claws. Then another monster came into the room and that’s when I noticed that they didn’t have legs – they have tentacles! Like an octopus! I passed out again.

I’m pretty disappointed in myself. See, I’m a sci-fi fan. I love Star Wars and Star Trek. Movies with aliens are my favorite. I always thought that if I encountered aliens, I would be cool about it. I mean, in my heart of hearts, I always hoped aliens were real. But now instead of being a super cool badass from a sci-fi movie, I keep passing out from fear.

And as far as I can tell, none of the aliens have hurt anybody. I guess I was passed out for most of my ordeal so far, but it’s the look of them that’s so terrifying. Every time I lay eyes on one – either the grey ones or these tentacle ones – I’m filled with terror. The kind of terror like if you were to notice a rattlesnake right next to your foot. Or you know that feeling when a rollercoaster is right at the top and your stomach drops? It’s a visceral, horrified reaction.

They are scary. And big. I open my eyes a tiny bit, peering at them. They are more like something out of a horror movie than a sci-fi movie. Now I can see that there are three of them. The biggest and smallest ones are arguing in their hiccup language and the middle one is looking on. Their bottom halves are all tentacles. Even though they are standing still, the tentacles are moving all around restlessly. Their top halves are kind of human-like. Kind of. They have ruffled ears, a small bump for a nose, no hair, and big animal like eyes with vertical slits. And fangs. And claws. Their bodies seem smoother than a human’s. I guess it’s the lack of hair. And they don’t have nipples. I know this because they’re buck-ass-naked.

The one not arguing moves toward me, seeming to notice that I’m awake and I tense up. I may have made an ‘Eeep!’ noise and that’s when the smaller one turns and intercepts him, blocking his path so he can’t see me or get near me.

The two bigger ones start talking louder.

The smaller one starts yelling at them and pointing at the door, seeming to tell them to get lost. I’m starting to like this guy. I’m definitely ok with dealing with only one tentacle monster instead of three. And he seemed to be protecting me from the other two.

Ok, so I could be friends with this one. If we can work on understanding each other, I could replace out what happened to the other people. Eventually, I could replace my way back to Earth. I have a very strong feeling that we are far from home.

Sitting up, I scoot to the end of the table and drape my naked legs off. I make eye contact with this alien. But then I worry that eye contact could be seen as aggression, so I glance away. His eyes are disconcerting anyway. Much larger than they should be, with those animalistic slitted pupils.

I point to myself and say, ‘Mandy.’

He tilts his head.

‘Mandy,’ I try again.

His color is changing. The center of his chest glows bright pink, radiating out. And his shoulders and stomach are turning a sparkly purple. It’s pretty.

‘Mandy. I’m Mandy,” I tap my own chest trying to get the point across. I need him to get it. This is the first step in communication. I need him to understand me so I can figure out what happened to the other people and how to get back to Earth.

‘Hsssssst,’ He makes a hissing noise and reaches one clawed hand toward me. I duck and flinch away.

He makes a couple clicks and then says, ‘Hssssst,’ again. Could be he’s trying to soothe me? Like, maybe it’s his equivalent of ‘shhhhh’?

I take a deep breath and try again. I’m not giving up. ‘Mandy. My name is Mandy. What’s your name?’ I gesture toward him, ‘You are?’

He makes what I can best describe as a trilling sound. This is obviously not his name. I may be wrong because what do I know about alien vocalizations, but it seems like a happy sound. His face is changing color now too, his cheeks a bright sparkly purple that fades into pink at his frilly ears.

Huh. He doesn’t look so monstrous any more. He’s kind of pretty for a tentacle alien, now that he’s changed from a gray to these cute, sparkly colors.

He reaches his clawed hand toward me again. I don’t duck away this time and I notice that he has five fingers on his hand. So, like a person, only with deadly sharp, shiny, black claws.

And now he’s petting me. Petting my head, like I would pet a house cat. No wonder he isn’t trying to say my name, he thinks I’m a pet.