Mated To The Cold Hearted Alpha
Chapter 24

LEANDER’S POV

I’d paced a path through the carpet in my office, anxiety running rampant through my body. Hycinth was in good hands with Ever, but it didn’t stop me from stressing, particularly after her interaction with Sydney this morning. I cringed. Of all the shit conversations to have, my little mouse had somehow convinced me to give her a list of my past lovers! I cursed myself again and again for allowing that to happen. Nothing good would come of it.

Of course, I hadn’t expected Sydney to come off with that level of aggression. That part surprised me. Maybe it shouldn’t have. Sydney hadn’t been pleased when I broke it off with her three years ago. Truthfully she’d been relatively relentless in trying to change my mind over the years, but I couldn’t do it.

I told Ever to remove her collar during her session with Sydney and her team of she-wolves because I’d been sure a fight would break out. I’d even thought about attending the session myself, trying to head off the problem, but if I did that, it would only make Hycinth look weak, so I’d stayed away.

When Ever had reported what happened, I wasn’t sure how I felt. I was immensely relieved to replace Hycinth hadn’t been in hand-to-hand combat and I was seriously impressed at the way she’d handled herself. She was definitely ballsy. But on the other hand, I worried at the greater truth. Maybe they hadn’t been able to rile her up because she didn’t think I was worth fighting for. That thought made my stomach turn and made me wonder if she and I would ever work.

……….

I was still wondering that, four weeks later.

Hycinth and I had spent many days together over the last four weeks, interacting with the Pack and also alone together.

But I could tell, we were no closer to her agreeing to the Claiming Ceremony than we were when she first arrived. It was frustrating the hell out of me, but I suspected now that my frustration was due to more personal reasons than the Claiming Ceremony.

Over the past four weeks, during all of the time we spent together, a shocking revelation hit me.

I liked her, a lot.

And not just in the ‘she’s my mate, so I have to make this work’ way.

No, I really, really liked her.

She was bold and sexy with a killer sense of humor. She didn’t take shit from anyone, including me. And I desperately wanted more.

But every time we got closer, the same thing would happen. We’d be having a good time, actually laughing, and getting along and sometimes, even getting close to a physical connection. She’d let down her walls, everything else would fade away, and it would just be the two of us.

But then, she’d remember.

I could always see it happen in her eyes. Her laughter would fade. Her smile would falter, and then a frown appeared. Her body would stiffen, and she’d pulled away. All because she remembered the one thing she couldn’t get past what I’d done three years ago.

I had to give it to her. She was shockingly resilient to fight the bond like that, to refuse her mate, to ignore what I suspected she actually wanted. And not just physically, but on an emotional level. There were too many times when we’d gotten closer. But it just wasn’t happening. We hadn’t made any actual progress in the four weeks she’d been here.

And now I had a decision to make.

Should I just proceed with placing my mark?

She wouldn’t want me to, but the reality of the situation was pretty clear.

Ever interrupted my internal conflict. “Why don’t you just tell her the truth?”

I exhaled heavily. I’d asked myself that same question so many times and always came to the same damn answer. I just stared off into space, swirling the Bourbon in the bottom of my glass. There was only one answer, and the words were too difficult to say.

He pressed harder, “I’ve seen how you are with her… you’re different. I’ve watched you change over the last four weeks. Do you love her?”

I g*****d, “F**k if I know.”

“Then why aren’t you fighting for her?! Tell her the damn truth!”

“You don’t think I’ve thought about it?” I snarled. “You don’t think I’ve played it in my head a thousand times? I have! Over and f*****g over. And it always ends the same way. I killed her parents. That fact will always remain. The details don’t matter!”

“How can the details not f*****g matter?!” He was on his feet now, hands clenched into fists. The heat of his anger flushed his face red. “I dare anyone, anyone, to hear that story, to know those details, and then disagree that he needed to die! The bastard needed to die! Both of them needed to die. They were equally complicit!”

I shook my head and grunted bitterly, “If only it were that easy.”

He strode across the room to me, and continued adamantly in my face, “It is that easy! You know what he did that day. I’ve been through a lot of wars and seen a lot of things, but what he did was evil…it was f****d up. Anyone who could-“

Snapping to my feet, I cut him off with a fist to his face, growling, “Don’t f*****g say it! Don’t you say another f*****g word!”

I’d spent three and half years trying to get those f****d up images out of my head, trying to forget the details of that day, what I’d seen. My chest hurt with a familiar ache, the pain intense, it felt like I was drowning.

His head snapped to the side. He wiped the b***d from his l*p under his sleeve. “I think another f*****g word needs to be said because you’re not listening!”

“I am listening,” I replied. “Don’t worry. I’m not backing out of my responsibility. Hycinth doesn’t have to know the truth. I’ll mark her one way or the other.”

“You think this is about the f*****g Claiming Ceremony?” he yelled, exasperated, and threw his hands in the air. “You think my priority is a pup I’ll probably never have when I’m watching my best friend lose his mate…right before my eyes?! No, you stupid motherfucker, this is about you!”

I tried to swallow past the lump in my throat and sighed heavily, “Okay, here’s a thought. Say I did tell her, walked her through every gruesome detail, do you think she’d believe me?!”

He didn’t say anything.

I continued ranting, “She thinks that fucker hung the moon! She never saw the monster. He made sure of it!” A large part of me was thankful she was never exposed to those horrible truths, but it sure as hell sucked for me right now.