Merit (Treasure State Wildcats Book 4)
Merit: Chapter 11

“Where are we going?” Stevie asked as we headed out of Mission.

“Fourteen minutes.”

“Huh?”

I tapped the clock on the dash. “It took you fourteen minutes to ask. I’m impressed. I didn’t think you’d make it out of the parking lot at Adair.”

She rolled her eyes but there was a ghost of a smile on her lips.

Maybe what we both needed to get back to our normal was the teasing and ridicule.

I’d spent a lot of time thinking about Stevie over the past week. Up until about an hour ago, I’d planned to forget this entire thing. To drive to my parents’ house and disappoint my mother.

Except then I’d found myself packing a cooler of food. And when I’d climbed in my truck, I hadn’t once considered turning off the route to Adair. I’d had a hunch she’d be at work today, and when I’d parked beside her Jeep, all of the doubts from the past seven days had disappeared.

I couldn’t explain it. I couldn’t put this feeling into words.

I just wanted to spend time with her.

Like how it used to be when we were little kids. During the summers, when I wasn’t at football or basketball or soccer camp, I’d wake up and, before breakfast, ask Mom when I could go play with Stevie.

That’s why I’d chosen the mountains for this date. We needed space. Some fresh air. A spot we could go and not get interrupted by fans or ex-hookups or waiters.

Just Stevie and me.

“So are you going to tell me where we’re going?” she asked.

“Guess.”

That won me another eye roll. Did she realize I liked them?

“The mountains.” She pointed down the narrow two-lane road ahead toward the foothills and forest in the distance.

“That’s not a guess. That’s stating the obvious.”

“You’re kind of a smartass. Has anyone ever told you that?”

“Yes. You. On multiple occasions.”

“Maybe you should write it down so you don’t forget.”

“I haven’t forgotten.” I shifted, draping an arm over the steering wheel. “I just refuse to change.”

She turned, meeting my gaze. Her eyes were serious, all of the humor gone.

“No snarky comment?”

“No.” She swallowed hard, then faced forward.

The playful mood from moments ago might as well be roadkill in my rearview mirror.

All right. Guess I shouldn’t have said I refused to change. Is that what she wanted? A different Maverick?

I didn’t know how to be anyone else. This was me, for better or worse. If there was a soul on this earth who knew me, good and bad, it was Stevie.

“What did I say?”

“Nothing.” It was a blatant lie.

“Stevie.”

She sighed. “If you refuse to change, and I refuse to change, will we ever really be friends again? Part of me wonders if we’re doomed and this is a waste of our Saturdays.”

Was this her way of ending this arrangement? Was this her way of calling it quits before we had to have the hard conversation about last Saturday?

This virginity issue wasn’t only hanging over her head now. It was looming over mine too. And it wasn’t something I could forget.

What had she expected me to say? Yes, and sweep her away to bed? To fuck her senseless and then walk out?

Yeah, I’d done that with other women. But this was Stevie. She was different. Special.

She deserved more than a meaningless night.

We drove in silence for a few more miles, neither of us sure what to say. Until she broke the quiet.

“We’re going to that place where we used to go camping, aren’t we?”

The corner of my mouth turned up. We hadn’t even turned off the highway yet. “Yeah.”

“Why?”

“It’s a Top Five.”

I held back a grin as she stared at my profile. She wouldn’t ask what I meant by Top Five. She’d already figured out Top Five meant my favorite places. But she was undoubtedly trying to figure out what the other four were.

“I can hear the gears turning in your head.”

“The family campsite.” She held up one finger, then two. “And the Wildcats stadium. Those are two of the five.”

“Yep.” The obvious choices. If she got the next three, then I’d really be impressed. I hadn’t meant for this to be a test, but maybe it was.

If Stevie knew me well enough to name the Top Five, then I could know her well enough to take her virginity, right?

She hummed, thinking it over, her eyebrows knitted together.

I slowed, taking the turn off the highway to a gravel road that would lead us into the mountains. It took until the first bend before she guessed again.

“McDonald’s.”

“Fast food?” I gave her a sideways glance. “You really think I’d pick a cheap burger place as a Top Five?”

“I’m right.” She spoke with sheer confidence.

I chuckled. “You’re right.”

A smile, beautiful and brilliant, lit up her face. God, she was gorgeous. It wasn’t a matter of attraction. Not a damn bit. If she were any other woman, sex wouldn’t have even been a question. I would have fucked her on that couch last week, then whisked her to bed for another round.

Then she would have pulled away. Then she would have spent the next decade ignoring me.

And now that I’d sort of gotten Stevie back, I wasn’t ready to lose her again.

“I almost took us to McDonald’s tonight,” I told her. “It’s been a while. You could have gotten a chicken nugget Happy Meal.”

“I do love a Happy Meal.” She laughed. “I thought you and your mom went there every couple weeks.”

“We used to.” Every other week, Mom and I would meet for lunch at the local McDonald’s. She’d ask me about school and football and girls and whatever else she wanted to know. It was basically an inquisition, but I’d answer all of her questions with limited grumbling as I inhaled a couple burgers and fries.

“After she started treatments, her taste buds changed. All she could taste was the salt.”

“Oh. Sorry,” Stevie said.

“Me too.” I missed those lunches with Mom, so much that it was actually a shock that McDonald’s was still a Top Five. I doubted I’d ever go there again after she . . .

Maybe it was time for me to redo the Top Five.

“Okay, two more.” Stevie drummed her fingers on her knee, chewing on her bottom lip as I kept driving.

She was the only person I knew who’d spend the time to guess. Who’d give it all her brainpower simply to see if she could get it right. Most would have given up by now and asked for the answer. But Stevie wasn’t the give-up type.

It was as endearing as it was infuriating.

“Give up?”

She shot me a scowl. “No. Don’t rush me.”

I’d learned a long time ago not to rush her. She did things when she was ready.

Maybe that was part of the virginity thing too. She hadn’t been ready before. And now she was, which meant it would be foot on the gas, no brakes until it was done.

If it wasn’t with me, she’d replace someone else. That idea made my entire body tense and my hands tighten on the steering wheel.

Sex would mean lighting the fragile remains of our relationship on fire. But I didn’t want her screwing some random guy either. I didn’t want her with a James. I didn’t want her hitting the bars and picking up a one-night stand.

That wasn’t Stevie. She’d regret it.

And she’d regret sleeping with me too. If it didn’t mean anything.

What if it meant something?

What if it didn’t happen soon, but someday? Someday when we didn’t hate each other. When we could survive meals together. When we were friends again.

When she actually wanted me.

Shit, was I actually considering this?

“This truck,” she said, tearing me from my thoughts. “It’s a Top Five.”

“It’s not a place.”

“Yes, it is. Behind the wheel, it’s one of your favorite places. Am I right?”

“You’re right.” I’d been sure she wouldn’t guess that one. “Pretty good, Adair. Still got one to go.”

“It’s your bed. Number five is your bed.”

A place she’d never seen, at least not since we’d become adults, but she’d guessed it anyway.

And damn if she wasn’t right again.

“How’d you know?”

She giggled, pride lighting up her hazel eyes. “Lucky guess. It was that or the gym.”

“Definitely not the gym. I like working out but not that much.” I slowed as the road narrowed into a two-lane track that was the final stretch to the campsite.

“I haven’t been up here in years,” she said, gaze wandering beyond the windows as she took in the soft evening light.

The sun was on its way toward the horizon, casting the treetops in rays of gold and yellow. By the time we made it home, it would be dark, but it was worth the drive to watch the sunset.

The campsite was nothing more than a small, oval-shaped meadow in the trees. There was a fire ring of stones, and once upon a time, there’d been a picnic table too. After it had broken from too many years in the elements, someone had cut it up for firewood.

The grass in the meadow was lush and green, growing tall from the spring rains and afternoon sun. In the summer, there’d be flowers of every color in this spot. Our families used to come up here and camp for a few weekends every year.

Dad would load up our fifth wheel and Mom would stock it with enough food for a month. I’d always spend the night in a tent. So would Stevie.

The moment I parked, she opened her door, letting in a blast of cool mountain air. It smelled like pine and wind and rain.

She shivered as she took in the view, the chill sinking past her green Adair Landscape and Nursery T-shirt and jeans.

I reached for the Wildcats hoodie I’d left in the back seat, taking it along as I joined her outside. “Here.”

“Thanks.” She pulled it on, fishing her braid free. The hem hit her thighs, the sleeves so long they covered her fingertips.

It was just a hoodie. Given the stain on the sleeve, I couldn’t tell her the last time I’d put it in the washing machine, but hell if I didn’t like seeing her in my clothes.

I tore my eyes away, forcing them to the view of the jagged, snowcapped peaks in the distance. To the evergreens swaying in the breeze.

Stevie meandered past my side, stopping where the gravel around the firepit met the edge of the grass.

“Mom wants her ashes scattered up here. She told Mabel and me over dinner on Wednesday.”

Stevie’s spine went rigid. She turned over her shoulder, eyes instantly filling with tears. But she swallowed hard and didn’t let them fall. Instead, she gave me a sad smile and held out her hand.

I was stuck beside the truck. Maybe she knew I was having a hard time putting one foot in front of the other. So I took her hand, her fingers holding tight to mine, and let her tug me into the meadow.

This was another Top Five that would change soon, wasn’t it? If we all came up here and scattered Mom’s ashes, I doubted I’d ever visit again.

Stevie stopped in the grass, tilting her head to the sky as she filled her lungs.

I did the same, letting the fresh air and mountain scents chase away the sadness in my heart. If my time up here was limited, then I wanted to enjoy it.

The link between our hands changed. She’d been holding me up until this point, but I laced our fingers together, this time holding her.

She looked up at my profile, the tip of her nose as rosy as her cheeks. Her lips.

Stunning. Absolutely fucking stunning.

There wasn’t a moment in my life when I hadn’t thought she was the prettiest girl around. Sweet. Caring. Feisty. Competitive. She could be absolutely vicious when she wanted to win.

So could I.

What happened when we both lost? Complete and total annihilation? Would we ever speak to each other again? Would this fake relationship of ours eventually destroy us both and cause a rift in our families?

It was possible. Probable, even.

Maybe it was the reason we’d started fighting in the first place. Or kept fighting. It was easier than admitting there might be more beneath the surface. That if Stevie and I truly imploded, if we broke each other’s hearts, it would screw with the vibe of our families.

The smart thing to do right now would be to let go of her hand. Walk away. Ignore the pull to Stevie Adair like I’d been doing for a decade.

Instead, I tugged her closer until the tips of her shoes were touching mine.

Her eyes searched my face as I memorized the swirl of colors in her irises. Brown and gold and green and gray. They were a forest of their own, as breathtaking as the one around us.

“What?” she whispered.

You’re beautiful. “Nothing.”

Her eyes narrowed, reading the lie.

I didn’t want to get into an argument. Not here. So I did the only thing that was guaranteed to keep her mouth shut. I captured it with my own.

Stevie gasped as I sealed my lips over hers. With my free hand, I cupped the back of her head, my fingers sliding into those chocolate strands of her braid. I used the hold to angle her face, to keep her exactly where I wanted, neck stretched and chin lifted, so that I could slide into the furthest corners of her mouth, tasting them all.

Taking them all.

A moan vibrated in my chest as our tongues tangled.

Stevie whimpered, rising on her toes for more. Her free hand came to my arm, fisting the fabric of my shirt.

Fuck, she tasted good. Like sunshine and honey. I licked her bottom lip, then nipped the top with my teeth. And when she whimpered again, I unleashed, giving everything I had to that kiss, getting back even more.

That was Stevie. She wasn’t going to be upstaged. For every flick of my tongue, she did the same. She sucked on my lower lip as she balled my shirt in both hands, pulling on it so hard it strained across my shoulders.

We clung to each other and let the world around us fade into a blur.

It should have been awkward. It should have been detached or messy. But it was fucking phenomenal. The best kiss of my life, surpassing even that one on her stoop.

God, this woman. How was this possible? How was this happening with Stevie?

When I finally broke away, my chest was heaving, my body flaming, my cock aching. I forced my eyes open just to make sure this wasn’t a dream.

Stevie’s breaths came in heavy pants. Her mouth was wet as she stared up at me with hooded eyes. Bedroom eyes.

Yeah, I wanted to see her in a bedroom. Stripped bare. Her cheeks and chest flushed. Her lips just as wet as they were now.

She wasn’t mine. But she kind of was.

“Okay,” I said, more to myself than to her. I was doing this.

She blinked. “Okay, what?”

“Nothing,” I murmured.

Selfish as it was, I didn’t want her with another man. Her first time was going to be with me. I’d make sure it was good. Comfortable. Safe.

As long as she wanted me. As long as she chose me on merit.

Not just some guy. Me.

That meant I needed to make her my girlfriend. For real.

How the fuck did I do that?