Mila: The Godfather (Unholy Trinity Book 7)
Mila: The Godfather: Part 1 – Chapter 30

MILA

“Would you love me even when I show you all of me?” – M

Idon’t remember much about the first five years of my life. Some memories are a blur when I try to recollect them. I once read an article that explains how one tends to block out the memories that cause you the most pain and trauma yet the memory of the night someone almost drowned me is still fresh in my brain.

I still don’t know who it was. Maybe it was my father. Or maybe it was my mother on one of her ’off days’, which meant she was drunk out of her mind. Perhaps, it was one of the maids or one of the men who worked for my father who tried to get rid of me following orders. I still don’t know. All I do know is that one second, I’m quietly playing with the bubbles in the bath water, and the next thing I know my head’s underwater as I struggle to breathe.

One.

Two.

Three.

I counted in my head while I was being pushed down, and yet the air wouldn’t reach my lungs.

Only water did.

I can still feel the burning sensation in my lungs because of all the water I swallowed. Right before I fell unconscious, my sister Arianna pulled me out. The strong arms that were holding me down were no longer there but my sister’s.

That’s all I remember about that night.

That and her eyes.

My older sister was an expert at concealing her pain, but in that moment, she let the tears fall.

She cried for me. I think I never saw her cry before or after. Just that time, and it will stick with me for the rest of my life.

A sudden squealing sound brings me back from the present and away from thoughts that hurt me. This morning, Riagan woke me up early because he wanted to show me something. He didn’t tell me what. He only asked me to wear a bathing suit and put lots of sunscreen on.

Now, we’re here.

In his stunning 35’ yacht, not far from the shore, just enough that the water is deep.

The sun is blazing today, and the water looks so blue it has me beaming with eagerness to jump in it. My past trauma with the water didn’t get the best of me. My sister, Kadra, made sure to teach me how to swim and what to do if I ever found myself in a situation where I could drown.

I’m no longer afraid of the water.

Especially not here in these magical, enchanting-looking waters of the Caribbean, where loud squealing is coming from sea creatures. Looking at the sweet dolphins now, I can’t help but smile from ear to ear. My favorite animal. “Riagan…” I gasp at the same time as I look over my shoulder where I’m standing on the deck, holding onto the lifeline and watching as he walks my way after making sure the yacht stays in place.

I don’t know much about boats, but I make a mental note to ask him all he knows about them later. Riagan is, once again, shirtless, with his impressive muscles and tattoos on full display. I notice that his skin has a golden hue now, and his hair looks like caramel in the sunlight. He takes the last step towards me, and I have to crane my neck to look at his face. Our height difference is ridiculous, but I don’t mind it one bit. In fact, I like it more than I should, but Riagan is my friend now. Friends like things about each other, right?

Keep telling yourself that…

Hush… I kindly reprimand the sometimes-sassy voice in my head.

“Do you like it?”

Do I like it?

“This looks just like the movies!” I jump excitedly, making him chuckle softly. I think of every wildlife that lives under this water. A world of its own. Every type of sea life and the ones that haven’t been discovered yet. The sea is infinite, and I truly believe there is more to it than we have been taught.

“Tell me one of your fun facts, Mila.” His gentle voice gets me out of my head, and all my attention is now on him. Tell me a fun fact… I always offer them, but no one truly asks for them.

Until him.

I blurt out the most recent one I learned. “Did you know that bottlenose dolphins swallow fish heads first so the fish’s spines don’t catch in their throat?”

“Clever little fuckers.”

I smile at that. “They are so smart and very chatty!”

“How so?”

“They have some of the most elaborate acoustic abilities in the animal kingdom.” I explain while looking at his face. I try not to get distracted by that face. It’s been happening a lot. When I look at him, I lose focus and control of my thoughts. My new friend is dangerous, and it has nothing to do with how skilled he is with his gun. It has everything to do with his beauty and his…heart. Call me naive. Call me young. But life has taught me to see the good in everyone, even when it’s really, really hard. Riagan has a lot of goodness in him. I see it in the instances when I replace myself lost in his gaze. Yesterday, he said that I shine, but I don’t see myself that way. He does. He shines and he doesn’t even realize it. Maybe it’s only with me? And that thought makes my heart beat faster. It shouldn’t but it does. A shake of the boat reminds me that I got lost in my head again and lost my train of thought because of Riagan. Clearing my throat, I smile sheepishly. “As I was saying… dolphins make a variety of sounds including whistles, clicks, squawks, moans, barks, groans, and yelps.”

“That I did not know.” I watch as Riagan looks away from me and toward the two dolphins swimming happily at sea.

“Now you do!”

“Now I do, baby.” He steps closer. So close that I can almost feel the heat radiating off of him. I notice he has an issue with not understanding personal space. Does he realize how close he is? Is he that close on purpose? Does it mean something? Part of me wants to believe it means he likes me, but I immediately throw that notion out the window. It was ridiculous. He was an older man. A god made of flesh, and I was…well, young, quirky, and well, I’m sure I’m not his type at all. He seems like a man who enjoys a confident woman. A woman just like him. Strong, independent, and well, closer to his age. But what do I know?

I wanted him to like me. I want him to smile at me like he is now. I want things I don’t quite comprehend, yet I just know it feels right.

He feels right.

In such a short amount of time, he has touched me in ways his hands haven’t.

Most of my life, I felt out of my element in certain situations, mostly when I am around other people, given the fact that the only time I am ever truly comfortable is when my nose is stuck in a book, and my hands are busy either tending to my plants, baking or painting. The rest of the time, I’m uncomfortable being around people, especially people I have never met. Being around people makes my skin feel too tight, makes my head feel too full of thoughts and sensory stimulation. When there’s a lot of chaos in my surroundings, my thoughts tend to run even faster, which makes me feel anxious, and I tend to shut down completely and distance myself from a person or situation. Men, especially, confuse or overwhelm me, but he does neither.

I also don’t know how to relate to others or get them to engage with me. I read on the internet that jokes help in the process of making friends. I don’t know how to crack a well-timed joke. Or make some pithy commentary. That is why I offer fun facts. It’s the only way I know how to engage with others without making them uncomfortable with my silence.

I’m an introvert.

But Riagan? He clearly isn’t.

Extroverted people make me edgy, and this man in particular, has got the fire hose in my brain turned on full blast. He’s so tall and handsome it makes me question my own eyes, my sanity, and my existence. Men like him don’t end up with girls like me. Not in real life anyway. Yet he’s here with me. At times, I replace myself spacing out, thinking to myself that he can’t be real. Can a man this sweet truly exist? Yet here he is, in defiance of all logic. Standing so close to me. The top of my head comes to his chest. I am so close that I can even count the freckles on his skin where there isn’t any ink. Right on top of his heart.

Then I remember he called me… baby for the second time.

Baby?

I am not an infant child, so there is no logic for him to call me that.

Men in books call their lovers baby, but there’s also no logical explanation to him calling me that.

We are not in a romantic relationship, nor does he love me. That begs the question, why is he calling me baby?

Sweetheart, I understand.

People tend to use the terms of endearment a lot.

Butterfly, I also understand because of the circumstance of our first encounter.

But the word baby? I do not.

“Mila.” Riagan speaks, getting me out of my head…again.

All too often, I replace out that I have missed a social cue, overlooked a hint, or missed a subtlety in a situation. This is, in many ways, a defining characteristic of mine. Sometimes when others are talking, I have to remind myself to tune in. To pay attention.

Like right now.

I curse myself mentally, realizing I’d spaced out—or what others termed spacing out, but which was really just my mind spiraling off into a maze of interconnected thoughts.

“Can I touch them?” I blurt out, trying to distract him from my embarrassment. I look away from Riagan and point at the sweet dolphins, but then a long moment passes where Riagan doesn’t say anything,

Nothing.

At all.

The only sound is that of the sea and its sweet creatures swimming joyfully around the boat.

Anxiety creeps in for a second, but then it quickly disappears as if I never felt it when I feel his gentle touch on my chin.

“You don’t ever have to ask. You want to do something? You do it. You want something? Take it.”

“I don’t think that’s how life works for most people.” I frown, trying to understand the meaning behind his words, but I am not so sure I truly understand. Riagan is like a box of surprises. Like a puzzle, I can’t wait to finish to be able to understand what the picture is.

He taps my nose sweetly. “You’re not most people. You’re mine.” My breath hitches, and he notices quickly adding. “You’re mine to protect from now on. You’re my…” He clears his throat and his face changes. I notice he grinds his teeth like people do when they don’t want to say what will come out of their mouth next. “Friend. You’re my friend.”

Friends… right.

All too sudden, he steps back and hunches over. “Get on my back.”

Frowning, I ask. “What for?”

“We’re getting in the water.” He says, as a matter of fact.

“But why do I need to get on your back? I know how to swim.”

Still hunching over, he taps his back, arguing with me to do as he says. “Yeah, but I don’t trust those little fuckers. Did you know a dolphin tried to rape a woman once? Horny little shits.”

My jaw falls, too stunned with his words. I look at the innocent-looking creatures, and suddenly I am not that excited to get in the water. “You are telling me that my favorite animals are the sea’s sex freaks?” I blurt out. I should really research more about this piece of information he just provided.

Then the best thing I ever witnessed happens.

Riagan throws his head back and laughs.

He laughs with his entire chest, and I stand there in awe.

I thought that this island was the most beautiful sight I had ever seen and will likely ever see.

Until now.

Until the sight of Riagan O’Sullivan laughing out loud out of pure joy.

Once again, his laughter is one of happiness and not cruelty.

Without thinking more about it, I step forward and hold on to Riagan’s neck as he quickly maneuvers me on his back. “Hold on tight.” He looks over his shoulder at me, and I have to concentrate really hard on his words and not on the thoughts that keep popping in my head. Thoughts about how his skin feels against mine. How not one single thing bothers me about this moment.

I don’t think about germs.

Not about the problems waiting away from this island.

Nothing.

I hold tighter, enjoying the feel of him, and he smiles.

Big.

He smiles, and the sun suddenly seems to shine brighter.

A second later, we’re going overboard and jumping into the water, going under.

And I have one thought, and one thought only.

I wish these moments could last a lifetime.

Every fear.

Every heartache.

Every bad thing that’s ever happened to me seems to have washed away once we reach the surface.

I let go of Riagan’s neck, and swim on my own. It’s freeing. So that’s what I do for at least twenty minutes.

I go under and swim like I would when I was a little girl with my sisters, pretending we were mermaids. All the while, Riagan seems contempt just watching me.

He even held me close while one of the dolphins gave me a kiss. Imagine that. My first kiss and it was a dolphin who gave it to me. The same dolphins Riagan accused of sexual predators. Just the thought of it all has me laughing by myself.

Throwing my head back, I stretch my arms out and float with my eyes closed, hyper aware that Riagan is not far away. Even with my eyes closed, and with my head in the clouds, I still feel him near me.

My head was buzzing with thoughts, wishes, desires, fears, doubts—a swirling maelstrom of them.

It’s still surreal to me that this is my reality.

How does one go from a lonely castle to this wonderful adventure in a matter of days?

“Butterfly…” I was jolted back to awareness.

No longer floating but swimming in place, I look at Riagan. I really look at him at this moment with his hair wet and pushed back away from his handsome face. His lips seem redder than pink today, and his skin is glistening.

Perfect.

The total opposite of me.

“This is the best day ever, Riagan, like it was yesterday and the day before. All my best days seem to be with you. I want more days like this one.”

He smiles gently. “I do, too.”

“You do?” My heart starts to pound fast, so I tap my chest repeatedly, trying to calm myself.

He nods and then sticks his hand out from the water toward me. “Here.” There’s a clam in his hand.

When did he replace this?

Where did he get it from?

“You found a seashell?” I frown, looking at it, confused as to what is so special about the clam. A clam is not a treasure. At least, I think it is not.

Wait.

Taking the seashell from him, I squeal in delight. “You found a pearl!” I gently pry the thing open. “That is so—” The rest of my sentence gets stuck in my throat when I see what the clam holds inside. Shocked and barely able to replace my next breath, I stare into Riagan’s eyes which are as blue as the sky today. “What is this, Riagan? I do not understand. How is it possible that you found this in a clam?” I mumble, alternating between looking at his face and the beautiful ring inside the seashell.

A small ring with a traditional diamond and a pearl next to it. The jewels are perfectly placed in the form of a heart.

His gaze burns hotter than the sun on my skin when he takes the ring, then my hand and gently places it on my ring finger.

“It seems we both found a treasure, butterfly. Cross it off your list.”

I swallow hard. “I’m sorry. I do not understand what this means.” I don’t.

The ring feels heavy on my ring finger, and I can’t help but bring it up to my face to look at it. It’s so pretty. A treasure, indeed.

“My future wife needs a ring, no?”

I nod, dumbfounded. “Yes, but you shouldn’t have gone to the trouble or spent your money.”

“Money is no issue, Mila, and you need a ring. Everyone needs to see my ring on your finger for it to look real.”

“Oh.” My heart was crashing, skipping beats, staccato and arrhythmic.

His thumb strokes my bottom lip, and it parts just like that. My heart hammers, and I think maybe I’m dreaming or something. He was a mystery. Fascinating, compelling.

“Riagan,” I mutter, his name falling from my lips. What did I want to say? I had no idea. This strange feeling in my chest is overwhelming.

I am no idiot.

I might not have the most experience in this subject, but I do read a lot, and these feelings I only experience around him seem to feel a lot like…

but it can’t be. Can it?

It’s too soon.

This is real life and not a romance book.

“Mila.” He breathes.

The water current seems to push us together. We’re chest to chest. I stared at his face. I try my darndest to maintain eye contact, but after a few seconds, my eyes fall down to his lips. I can hear his breathing change.

With him, I never feel the pressure to fill the silence. Our conversations don’t feel forced.

It flows naturally, as if words aren’t needed.

After a few minutes, Riagan’s hand tangles with mine. My heart slams in my chest hard enough, I worry I am at risk of a heart attack despite my youth and fitness, but I don’t let go. I hold on to his hand as he holds onto mine.

Here, in the middle of the sea, with his arms around me and his fake engagement ring on my finger… I’ve never felt more at home.

Home.

Without saying a word, I lean forward, pressing a soft kiss to his forehead. I keep my lips there. “I think… I think you might become one of my favorite people, Riagan.”

“Good.” He pulls me closer to his chest. So close that I can feel his heartbeat. “Because you’re already my favorite one.”

Closing my eyes, I breathe in his scent mixed with the sea with a smile on my face.

I’m screwed.

Because there is no doubt that I’ve become obsessed with this overwhelming and joyous feeling in my chest whenever he is near.

I am irrevocably obsessed with this man.