My Brother’s Mate
Chapter 6

Emily's POV

It's black, nothing, alone. But not alone. Almost like a ghost or phantom remains. Not completely empty but not full. What is this feeling?

"Who is there?" I call out. But no one answers.

"Am I dead?" I call out again. Still no answer. And then I hear a voice say "Wake up Emily!"

I open my eyes to see Mike sitting beside my bed. He is asleep. He has wounds on his face and hands. I look around and I am in the pack clinic. I am hooked up to machines. I feel a hole in my heart. A sadness rush over me. Mike stirs and looks at me. "Em you're awake." He grabs my hand. "Thank goddess. I was so worried." He says.

"Liam?" I ask. My voice was weak and my mouth is dry. Mike was quiet for a minute. He looks sad and hurt. He didn't look me in the eyes.

"Liam... he didn't make it back." He says. I feel waves of different emotions. I feel cold and numb. I pull my hand from him and turn to my side with my back to him. I want him to leave. I want everyone to leave. I want to fall into nothingness. What do I do now? My mate, the man I love is dead. Who am I without him? Mike didn't leave though. He sat with me in silence. In fact over the next two days he didn't leave my side. We didn't talk. He just stays. Eventually the doctor says I can go home with a few more days of bed rest. But I don't know where home is without Liam. The Luna and Alpha insist I continue to stay at the Alpha pack house. Mike takes me over and up to my room. I crawl into bed and Mike stays with me still. I don't eat, I don't talk, I don't leave the bed. I can hear people talking when they think Im asleep.

"She won't survive like this." Mike says

"Dear, to lose a mate is ... well sometimes the other doesn't survive." Luna tells him

"So I lost my brother and now I'm going to lose my best friend" Mike whisper yells.

"They hadn't marked each other yet and that's a good thing in this case. But the mate bond is still strong son. You have to give her time." The Luna says.

"I can't lose her too." Mike says. I close my eyes. Poor Mike, and his family. I open my eyes and Mike is sitting alone by the bed looking worried out the window. I move to the far edge of the bed away from him. I pull the covers back and he looks at me. He climbs in the bed next to me facing me. He reminds me of Liam, but at the same time he doesn't. A tear falls from my eye. He reaches out and pulls me into his chest and I cry. I cry all over again. And Mike holds me. I cry everything out until I can't cry anymore. I fall asleep. When I wake up I'm still in Mikes arms. I look up at him and he is asleep. I look out the window, it's night time. I slip out of Mikes arms and out of the room. I walk over to Liams bedroom. I take a deep breath and open the door. I look around his room and all the memories we shared here. I sit on his bed. It was probably a mistake to come in here.

"Well at least you're out of your bed." My eyes look up to see Luna Jackie standing at the door in her robe.

"I'm...im sorry" I say with tears in my eyes. Will I ever run out? She comes over to me and kneels in front of me and grabs my hands.

"My dear what ever for?" She looks searching my eyes for an answer.

"You lost your son. And I'm..im just giving up. You can't grieve while you comfort me." I say looking at my hands. I'm ashamed. She smiles with tears in her eyes.

"Oh my dear. You haven't given up. And you are the last part I have of my son. Helping you helps me." Tears are falling down her face but her voice is still so sure. How does she do that?

"Who am I without him?" I ask, "My whole life was planned out the moment I became his mate. For the last months I have been training to take over being Luna. Now... who am I?"

"You are Emily Rivers. You have always been that person. Regardless of who your mate was. And you will be her again. You just can't see through the pain right now. We all love you Emily. You are not alone." We stand up and hug. I cry into her shoulder. We hug until I stop crying. She walks me back to my room. She looks in and sees Mike still asleep in bed and she looks at me.

"He has been so worried about you." She whispers.

"I know. I heard you guys talking." I reply. I know she's worried about him too.

"He won't lose me." I say and she looks back at me. She squeezes my hand and heads back to her room. I crawl back into bed without waking Mike. And I make a decision, I can't stay in this bed forever. I can't just give up on life. I know Liam wouldn't want that, and I feel the people in my life wouldn't want that. I should live for them, for him. I didn't sleep much, I kept thinking about what Luna Jackie said. When the sun comes up I am tried of being in bed. I poke Mike and he doesn't move. I poke him again this time in the face and he flinches. He opens one eye.

"What gives?" He asks in his scruffy morning voice.

"Hey." I say and his eyes pop open.

"Hey" he says softly like he was afraid I would break from his voice.

"I'm hungry." I say.

"Oh ok I can go get you some food." He says sitting up and getting out of bed.

"I was thinking we could go down and get breakfast." He just kinda stares at me for a minute.

"Well we definitely could and should but you might want to shower first." He says rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. OMG I haven't showered or bathed in DAYS. And people are hugging me and being around me. I want to die. I run to the bathroom and lock the door. I look in the mirror and I'm mortified.

"WHY DO I LOOK LIKE THIS?" I yell and I hear Mike chuckle.

"How about you just take a bath and I'll bring us breakfast. Baby steps" he says to the door.

“། might have to shave my head. There's no way I'm going to get these knots out." I say picking up strands of my hair.

"I'll go get my razor then." He says with a chuckle.

"Go get breakfast and I'll try and save my hair." I say

"Ok I'll be right back." I heard the door close. I run a hot bath and throw in some epson salt. I get in and soak. It's nice. I lay there for a moment in the quiet. I put in a lot of conditioner in my hair and rinse it out. I hear the room door open and close. "Mike did you bring coffee?" I ask.

"Be right back" he says. I decided to get out of the tub. I brush my hair, thank goddess all the knots come out. I put on a robe and I hear Mike come back in the room. I open the door and Mike is holding two cups of coffee. He hands me one and I drink it. Oh coffee how I missed you. We sit on the bed and eat breakfast. I didn't realize how hungry I was, and Mike was right there with me. We ate it all and it was good.

"Can we go for a walk?" I ask.

"Sure whatever you want." Mike says.

"I need to get changed. And you need to change too" I say. He's been wearing the same clothes for days. He laughs and picks up the tray.

"You're right. I'll be right back." He says and leaves. I put on some clothes and continue to dry my hair. I hear a knock and Mike asks if I was decent. I say yea and he comes in.

"Ready to go?" He asks. He seems excited. I nod and we head out. We pass by Liams bedroom door and I stop and look at it.

"You ok Em?" Mike whispers. I nod and keep walking. We go down the stairs and into the living room. Luna Jackie sees us.

"Emily dear." She wraps me in a hug and pulls me back to look at me.

"Where are we off to?" She asks looking at me and Mike.

"For a walk." I say. She smiles.

"Fresh air will be good for you." She hugs me again and let's me go. Mike and I walk outside and into the field. We don't have a planned destination in mind we just walk. "Mike. I want to know." I say and he looks at me.

"Know what?" He asks

"I want to know what happened." I say. He's quiet for a few moments. We seem to be making our way to the lake.

"When we got there, there were rogues everywhere. There were barely any warriors from Silver Stone pack left. Liam wanted to do a surprise attack from four different positions. He grouped us off to four different spots. I was on the southeast side he was on the southwest side. Once we were in position he gave the signal to attack. We rushed in and it seemed to be working. We were pushing them back but Liam got separated from his group and then four rogues surrounded him. He tried to fight them off, but.." Mike trails off. I place my hand on his shoulder.

"It's ok. You don't have to go on. Thank you for telling me." We walk in silence for awhile. I was taking in what I just heard. I felt a ping in my heart. We get to the lake and I sit down. Mike sits with me. We sit there and look out over the water. I take Mikes hand. "I'm sorry you lost your brother." I say. It must be so hard for him.

"I'm sorry you lost your mate." He says back. A single tear falls from my eye. Mike wipes it away and puts his arm around me. I lean into him and we just sit there for awhile. I sit back up and stand. Mike joins me and we walk back to the pack house. One day at a time, and this was enough for me today.

Each day I do more and more. I went to visit my parents. My cousin came and visited me. I am trying to spend less time in bed. I'll go for runs or walks, all with Mike by my side. When I have visitors he leaves and spends time with his father, now that Liam is gone the duty of Alpha falls on Mike. I try to keep myself busy, I've even got Mike training me a few days a week. Each day gets a little bit easier.