My Fiancée Hates Me
Chapter 62: My Mistakes [Vance]

[Vance's Perspective]

I watched her beautiful figure slowly recede away. With such thin shoulders, I am surprised that she can even hold up a sword...

"Maybe you should have also chased after her," Gavin Lord of The Church Sect said as he came in and sat down.

The presence of the priest in training startled me a bit from how quietly he snuck up on me.

"I have decided on the name Vance," I said.

I was to choose my new name and get adopted to a new family through The Church. Lady Arielle chose this strange person as her trusted representative.

"She is on the market, so why not go for it?" Gavin Lord asked.

I tried changing the topic, but it seems that my love life is much more interesting.

"I cannot..."

"Even though you gave her a lock of your hair? I hear that Knights will often give their most special person their prized possession or a lock of their hair to remember them by..."

"...I simply want to be remembered by her," I said as stared and admired her yellow flowers.

Lady Arielle was my first love for both of my lives. She probably will always be for the rest of this life too.

I first met Lady Arielle when we were both three. She does not remember this at all. Neither did I until I was leapt backwards with all of my memories intact. The first person who lent their hand out towards me and opened up my heart was Lady Arielle.

"Your hair color is like the sun...It is really beautiful!" she told me.

She appeared during my time of loneliness like an angel with her soft pink hair, lovely light blue eyes, and white dress. The memory of her faded as I grew up.

I met Lady Arielle again when I saw her with Prince Erik. She was beautiful then as well. She took my heart by storm. While holding such wrongful feelings, I felt like I was breaking until I met Lady Kaya. Lady Kaya said something similar along the lines of what Lady Arielle said to me before. As I got to know her, I found that Lady Kaya was quite lovely in the way she gave her heart all to love. I ended up falling for her instead. For someone who just abandoned their first love, she was a breath of fresh air. However, she led me astray by making me wrongfully hate Lady Arielle over a misunderstanding.

I expected to lose my position beside Prince Erik for my rudeness in picking the side against his fiancée. I did not lose my spot for some reason. The very person that I showed malice towards vouched for my abilities as a Knight. I could not understand why Lady Arielle would vouch for me back then. I was incompetent and naive to have believed in the lies that she was a cruel woman because of Lady Kaya. Despite knowing that Lady Kaya told me lies about Lady Arielle's demeanor, I still chose to be with Lady Kaya because I thought that I liked her and could change her into being a better person.

In the end, Lady Kaya left me too when she realized that I could not comfort her in the bedroom...due to my selective impotence towards her.

The doctors were unable to determine whether or not there was anything wrong with me physically since I was healthy in the mornings. It was just when it came to bedroom matters that I was unable to give he what she desired, so she went to other men. I felt guilty about never being able to satisfy her ever since then. When she approached me that fateful day and asked for a favor, I let her in the Castle without knowing that she would cause harm to both of my Masters.

Even though my feelings for Lady Arielle have returned, I am the last person who is able to profess my love to her now...

"I am alright with just watching over her," I told him confidently.

I could never compare to Prince Erik no matter how many times I am reborn. That is the same for any man she falls for. If she were to fall for him, he would have to be someone extraordinary to match with her. That is why I am fine if the person she fell in love with was still not me.

"Men are simple creatures, huh?" Gavin Lord said. "You are probably one of the most complicated men I have ever known. That goes for anyone involved with that person."☐☐☐☐☐☐☐☐