My Fiancée Hates Me
Chapter 94: Doubt

Erik sent me a letter saying that he would like to visit my home. He came three days after I wrote a letter that he could come over.

I wore a light empire waist lavender dress with a low square neckline, long airy peasant sleeves, and a thin white lace design over the top to avoid the summer heat. My mother's Maid Stella helped braid my hair and tied it with a white ribbon and tied a white lace choker with a light blue jewel in the center.

I had been wearing my casual clothes and uniform for so long that I had almost forgotten all about dressing up and being a woman.

I am so sloppy that it hurts when I am reminded by my Mother or my retainers that I am not putting enough effort in taking care of my own looks.

"You are more beautiful than usual," Erik said as he greeted me with a smile and a single red rose.

"Thank you for the flower," I said as I accepted it.

Erik and I soon shared lunch alone together.

"Doesn't memories like this take you back to when we would eat together in our teenage years?" Erik asked.

"...We are teenagers now," I said.

"Haha...That is right. We are teenagers again. It feels a bit strange returning as a teenager. It was only until just recently that I had regained my memories of our past lives, so I am not used to having two sets of memories, but things must be more difficult for you since you only have memories of your past life," Erik said.

If you remember everything, I could support you if you just tell me more about my missing memories.

He cleverly avoids answering any questions about my memories. It is almost as if Erik does not want me to remember. "It is difficult," I said sharply.

"You will recover your memories eventually, so there is no need to rush in trying to remember everything," Erik said. "...Right."

"Arielle, I think that we should announce our engagement," Erik said with a bright smile.

"Pardon?"

Erik stood up and walked over to me.

"As per your request of your other self, I had been holding off announcing our engagement to the public," Erik said.

Why would my other self suggest such a thing?

Was she having doubts about her engagement with Erik?

It is true that I am having doubts right now...and it is not just because I am lacking my memories.

"Erik, I..."

"I think it is high time that we announce you becoming my Crown Princess," Erik said as he got up from his seat and walked over to my side. He lifted my chin up towards him and leaned closer to my face. "You still love me, right?"

"...I do," I answered.

"If two people love each other, the next step would be to get married," Erik said before kissing me.

Maybe my thoughts were too occupied for me to enjoy Erik's kiss.

I could not think of another reason as to why I could not feel anything from his kiss...

"...I think that we should wait at least until I regain my memories of this life," I said as I pushed on Erik's chest.

"...What if you never regain those memories? Will you make me wait forever?" Erik asked coldly.

How could he ask something so cruel like that?

"It must be difficult for you to cover me all of the time," I said.

"It is no trouble whenever you rely on me," Erik said.

The only person who knows everything from my past as well as the me from this world will not tell me anything.

I hate it...I hate feeling useless and always burdening him like this.

"Why not just tell me that I am a burden?" I asked.

"You are never a burden to me," Erik said as he cupped my face with his hands.

"It is a lie...I am always a burden to you. That is why you do not want me to remember, right?" I asked as I removed his hands from my face.

"You do not need to remember things that only hurt you," Erik said.

"Again...and again...you keep treating me as if I am some weak person who cannot handle the truth. I want to know everything. Please...Erik," I pleaded. How much do I have to plead and beg him before he will tell me anything?

"No..."

I never beg Erik to give me anything but having been denied so directly like that hurt my pride even more than I thought it would.

...For some reason, I feel like this is not the first time I have been denied of something from Erik.

"If you are going to keep things from me all of the time, how can I trust you enough to get married to you?" I asked as I gripped my dress. Erik kneeled on the ground beside me and placed his hands over mine.

"...Arielle, I have been waiting for you patiently day after day and am willing to wait for another millennium if I have to," Erik said.

"...It feels like you are being a bit pushy by suggesting marriage all of a sudden," I said.

"I am suggesting announcing our engagement. Marriage will happen at a later date. My retainers think that it is strange for me to not have announced my fiancée yet and other Noble houses are constantly introducing their daughters to me even though they are not even a quarter as wonderful as you are, Arielle. You are the only person I want as my wife. It has been that way since our past and current lives. I am the one who does not understand your reason for putting off the announcement of our engagement," Erik said.

I do not understand either... My hopes, doubts, and dreams of the future with Erik seem murkier with each passing day.

I pulled my hands back from Erik's hands and held them over my chest.

"...I need time to sort my own feelings," I said.

"I understand that you need time to sort out your feelings," Erik said as he moved closer to my neck.

He moved my choker down slightly with his fingers while he delicately held my neck. I soon felt his teeth nibble along with a strange suctioning sensation on my neck.

I flinched from the tingling sensation on my neck.

"...Stop, Erik," I said weakly as I tried to pull Erik off of me by pressing on his chest.

He ceased his suctioning soon afterwards and lightly tickled the spot where he just kissed my neck.

"There it is," Erik said with a triumphant smile.

"Why did you do such a thing?" I asked.

Marking me as his property?

"Arielle, you are the type who needs a little pushing...I know that you will always choose me in the end, but I want you to think only about me for the next few days," Erik said as he lifted my left hand from my lap and kissed the back of my hand.

I continued holding the spot of where he kissed my neck. It was oddly still warm after Erik left...

There was nothing patient about what he just did.