My Kingdom Come book 1: The Saints We See
Chapter 43: Pressure

667 standard years after the signing of the Alliance

Hathu slammed his fists into the punching bag over and over until he realized he was leaving smears of blood on the leather. He looked at his wrapped knuckles. The wrappings were soaked in blood. Again. He let out a breath and dropped down on the bench against the wall. He rested his head in his hands for a long moment, his body trembling. He could feel the deep ache in his ribs he sometimes felt when he overexerted himself. He thought it might be caused by internal scarring from the beatings his father had given him years ago, but he wasn’t really sure.

Hathu took a deep breath and unwrapped his hands. He rinsed his knuckles and the wrappings in the little sink in the corner, then he hung the wrappings on their hooks to dry and climbed the stairs out of the basement.

He went to the kitchen and opened the cold cabinet. There were slabs of meat that Veli had his servants keep stocked there for Hathu. Hathu pulled one out and carried it over to the sink. He stared at the meat in his shaking hands for a moment then he lifted it to his mouth and bit into it, allowing the poison in his fangs to leak into the meat. Hathu’s prime took over and after a few minutes he came back to himself with a blackening, shredded piece of meat in his hands.

He took a shaky breath, dropped the meat into the trash and began washing up at the sink. He was still shaking. His routine of exercise and venom release barely kept his prime in check these days.

Things had started getting this bad two years ago. That was when Jed had invited Hathu to go hunting with him. Hunting on Kihiri with Jed had been exhilarating. The moon was teeming with dangerous predators. Every hunt had completely drained all of Hathu’s pent up emotions and venom, leaving him relaxed and calm when he returned home.

Unfortunately, Jed served in the Ir’klahn military and his ship had been sent out looking for Nediz. Hathu hadn’t been hunting in six months and it didn’t look like Jed would be returning any time soon.

Hathu wiped his face, hands and arms on a towel. After he cleaned up the spatters of blood around the sink, he made his way upstairs to his room.

He paused at Regia’s room. Light was showing under her door. He heard a quiet sob. He frowned, debating whether he should just keep going to his room or not. Finally he knocked softly on her door.

“Come in.” Regia called quietly.

Hathu pushed her door open. She was curled up on her side, her face pale and wan. She smiled when she saw him. “Hello, Hathu. What are you still doing awake?”

“I could ask you the same. Are you doing okay? Do you need anything?”

She made a noise of frustration. “I’m in pain and can’t sleep.” Then she gave a half smile and shrugged her shoulder.

“Do you need your medicine?”

Regia let out a soft sigh. “I supposed I should take it. It seems to work less and less these days.”

“Do you want me to get Tavah?”

“No, I’ve kept her up two nights in a row already, and we had a rough day today. Will you help me Hathu?”

“Of course.” Hathu came in and walked over to the bed. He helped her sit up, then placed pillows behind her the way she liked and helped her lean back on them.

“Oh, that’s better already.” Regia smiled.

Hathu swallowed. She was getting more and more frail as the years went on. “What do you want to take your medicine with?”

Regia smiled. “Can I be completely selfish and ask you for warm sweet-milk?”

Hathu smiled. “Sure. I’ll be right back.” He went downstairs and made two mugfuls of sweet-milk and then brought them back upstairs, half hoping he would replace Regia asleep.

She was still awake.

He handed her one of the mugs. She took a sip, her shoulders relaxed a little. “Mm, Hathu, you always make the perfect mug of sweet-milk.”

Hathu smiled as he looked through the medications on Regia’s nightstand. “You want the, um…where’s the purple bottle?”

“Oh, it’s orange now. The one with the red label.”

Hathu picked up the orange bottle and glanced over the red label. He frowned. “This…these are more than twice as strong as the pills you used to take.” He looked down at her. “Are you sure you don’t want me to get Tavah?”

Regia shook her head. “No, it’s fine, Hathu. The dosage is there on the label, right?”

Hathu swallowed. “Yeah. It says you’re supposed to take two.”

“Yes, the doctor had to up the dosage again. What did you do to your hands?”

Hathu frowned and opened the bottle. “Nothing.” He spilled two pills into his palm and held them out to Regia.

Instead of taking the pills, she closed his fingers over the tablets and turned his fist over. She looked at his bloody knuckles then up at him. “Having troubles with your prime again?”

He let out a breath. “Yes.”

She turned his hand right side up and Hathu uncurled his fingers. She scooped the pills out of his palm and put them in her mouth, then took a sip of sweet-milk and swallowed. “Thank you for that. Now, I want you to get me the roll of bandages out of the drawer there and sit here.” She patted the bed.

Hathu obeyed, retrieving the bandages and sitting on the bed facing her. There was something about Regia that always gave Hathu a little bit of extra calm when he was with her.

She handed him her mug of sweet-milk. “Put this over next to all the pill bottles.”

He put the mug on the nightstand. Regia took his hand and began to gently bandage his knuckles.

“I’m sorry things are so difficult for you.” Regia said softly. “There’s still no sign of Jed coming home?”

“No.” Hathu’s eyes moved from her slender fingers to where the edge of bandages peeked out of the neckline of her pajama top, then to her eyes, which were focused on his hand. How can she even notice my pain?

Regia chuckled. “We’re a pair, aren’t we Hathu? Your prime driving you mad and my body being allergic to my own venom.” She shook her head and released his hand. “There, this one’s finished. Other hand now.”

Hathu silently offered her his other hand noticing the way her bedside lamp shone through the strands of hair that had worked their way out of her braid, lighting them to a silver glow; how the unruly strands curled delicately around her neck and face. He jerked his eyes down to the floor, trying not to think too much about how gentle her hands were as she wrapped his aching knuckles in the soft bandages.

“There, that’s all finished.” Regia said tucking the last bit of bandage in on his second hand. “Hand me my sweet-milk.”

Hathu handed her her mug and got off the bed. He put the bandages away and picked up his own mug, silently cursing himself for being a fool. Even if Regia weren’t sick, he wouldn’t have a chance with her. He was the son of a criminal. She was the daughter of one of the emperor’s favored military officers.

“Hathu. I know you have school in the morning, but could you sit with me, for just a little while? My medicine should kick in soon.”

“Of course.” Hathu dragged the chair that was against the wall closer to her bedside and lowered himself into it. “Would you like me to read to you?”

Regia smiled. “If I let you do that, Tavah would smother me in my sleep. Reading to me is one of the things she enjoys about her job. I can’t get ahead of the story without her.”

“Ah.” Hathu smiled in spite of himself.

“Tell me about school, Hathu. What’s your most interesting class right now? Who’s the most irritating student in it?”

Hathu looked down into his mug and laughed softly. “The most irritating student in any of my classes is Nojus. She’s always ready to debate me on anything I say in class. Sometimes I think she’ll take a position just because its opposite mine. Last week, we argued for half an hour over Chakna’s tactics in the battle of Obealara, and whether the ravine hypothetically flooding would have turned the tide of battle in his favor or-” he glanced up at Regia and saw an amused expression on her face. “Sorry, I know strategy doesn’t interest you. Anyway, we took up a quarter of the class with our argument. Fortunately the teacher didn’t mind. She said it was much more interesting than what she had planned.” Hathu frowned. “I wish Nojus would talk to me about classwork outside of our arguments at school. She’s brilliant.”

“Poor Nojus.” Regia said thoughtfully. “I think she feels invisible. Mom and dad are so busy keeping you and me alive, they don’t have much time left over for her. If we were a normal family, she would be the center of attention. She is brilliant.”

Hathu’s frown deepened. “You’re probably right.”

“Oh, don’t feel badly, Hathu. I wasn’t trying to make you feel bad. Your condition and circumstances are not your fault. We love having you in the family. Nojus will grow out of her childish jealousy. I think she actually has a crush on you.”

Hathu raised an eyebrow at Regia. “Are you talking about the same Nojus that I know? Girl about this tall,” he held a hand up to his chin. “Golden eyes, fierce little thing.”

“Ooh,” Regia giggled. “Am I sensing a reciprocal crush?”

“No. I’m not interested in her.”

“But you are interested in someone?”

Hathu gave her a little frown. “Why would- no, there’s-” His cheeks heated, his eyes dropped back down to his mug. “I’m not interested in anyone.”

Regia giggled again. “You do like someone! You have to tell me all about her. Did you meet her at school?”

Hathu swallowed. “Don’t tease me Regia.”

She laughed softly. “Okay. I’ll leave it alone. Tell me about your most interesting class.”