Once My Mate, Always My Mate
How I Felt... What I Did In Return..

Sabrina’s POV

Xander hugs me from behind and I immediately feel wet from his body,using me as his towel to dry off and soaking me in the process. I try towiggle away from him but he tightens his hold on me.

"Calm down Sabrina, it's just water.” Xander says to me. He kisses thetop of my head and his wet hair slaps me sideways and drops of waterfall on my face. I giggle trying to force my way out but he has metrapped

"Tell me something I wan to hear.” He says to me and the words replaceme before I could even think about it.

"Never let me go?" I ask as a joke but to be honest, the words cutdeeper than that. Xander being here with me brought me more peacethan I could ask for. I felt safe, as a girl that holds so much power andmaking everyone else feel safe around me, I tend to be the only oneleft lacking. Xander gave me a love that assured me, made me feel atease with everything that I do and I can confidently walk around withzero fears of what is to come, because I know he will be here to standby me.

After leaving Xander, I searched long and hard for that sense of securityfrom the people closest to me. I looked for it in the man that happensto be my biological father but he could not give me his assurances,expecting me to replace it myself. Aiden could only give me so muchbefore completely going cold on me and for that, I partly blame myself.Everyone around me could never compare to Xander, when he is withme, I replace pure pleasure in life and the walks of it.

Nobody can take me any higher or show me appreciation constantly asXander can. To compare him is to insult him and with every pain thathas fought through my defenses, gaining entry to my heart to inflict awreckage I could never mend on my own, he has been there. I feelundeserving at times, for he is so perfect. Always ready to catch mewhen I fall and that is why those words, needing him to never let mego? That was not literal... I need him beside me always and I think hefelt the power in my words no matter how hard I tried to downplay justhow much I need him or my complete annoyance in how wet he wasmaking me with his wet self.

"I am not going anywhere. This time, I will be the very possessive alphawolf I should've been from the start. I will never let you go, not againand not for anyone." He says to me, his words holding so muchpromise and they ease my heart.

"We have both suffered enough being apart from each other, with theworld so hellbent on hurting us, it only makes sense to stick together.”Xander says to me.

He pulls away from me to get dressed. He doesn't even bother to dryup as most of the water that was smoothly cascading down everymuscle on his body was left on my now drenched clothes. The only wetpart of his body was the head full of hair, the hair that has grown waytoo long and he was in need of a hair cut. His hair was starting to coverhis eyes now, but I was low key starting to like this new broody lost badboy look.

"Remember the first time we met?" Xander asks me and I nod my headyes, remembering it like it was yesterday. His beta introduced us and Iwas thrown by his insanely good looks. It took so much of me to actsane..

"You had my heart racing the minute we locked eyes. I needed youclose to me at all times and I tried everything to keep you near and youfought me off... how frustrating that was but my fighter spirit would notgive up and I am glad I didn't. You are my beginning and end, the onlyface I want to wake up to in the morning and see before I close my eyesto sleep. I refuse to do this life thing without you and I can't allow youto do it alone too." Xander says, walking up to me and forcing to lookup at him.

"I don't think you understand my need for you. My wolf and I can neverimagine a life without you and when we did, I was on my death bed butyou would not let me die. That was the only way I could ever acceptwhat was, you being with someone else and to stop fighting myselfover this sacred law that has been ingrained in me from birth... nowthat I have you, it would be stupid of me to ever think of leaving you.Time has once again afforded us the the opportunity to be togetheragain and why should we waste it? I know I won't. All I want to do iscarry you over to that bed and keep you there. Praying nobody everknocks on that door because we have so much time to make up for."Xander tells me, my heart bleeding with joy with every word comingout of his mouth.

"Although I think for us to be together, we need to talk about a fewthings. I know I mentally suffered being apart from you and I need youto know just how bad it got. The only way we can make sure it does nothappen again, is to agree on certain things and promise to keep everypromise.. Like when you decided to replace me a new mate, forcing me tobe with someone else and trying to manipulate the situation had mefuming.. you did me dirty on that end but I thought about it, trying tosee things the way you did and believe me I struggled because my wolfand I could not come to terms with the fact that you would wantanother woman in the same bed you and I shared for some time. Thesame bed where we both made promises to each other, made love andthought that this was it." He says to me and I look down, trying to hidemy shame.

Xander gently uses his one hand to have me look at him again.

"Don't look away from me. I am just trying to tell you how it made mefeel, besides heartbreak which I believe was obvious, I was mad. I wasfilled with a rage that I could never ever bring myself to take out on youand unfortunately many people around me received it. My packsuffered for it, the mate you chose for me suffered because of thechoice you made for me and I failed to obey as you are my moongoddess... and even if you made it to keep me alive and force me to getover you, I could never get over how it looked too easy for you tothrow me off with someone else when all I felt was complete repulsionto the poor girl. I could sense her insecurities growing, an alphasdaughter, someone so beautiful feeling completely rejected by the manshe was fated to be with and I was her first mate... that is a scar that willstay on her forever. No time can ever ease her pain, her first heartbreakand every time she feels pain, it will be compared to the one I gave her.In no way am I saying this is your fault, I broke her and I will do my bestto help her heal from such sorrow. I just thought you should know howbad it was on my end, I was a horrible person and as if you had diedand forced me to marry someone else so I am not alone but I wasalone.” Xander says and the shame doubles, guilt starting to eat at mewhen he mentions Jade and all that she has been through.

My childish antics, thinking love will cure everything. I mean how can Ithrow two people searching for different things together? Xander wasdealing with a broken heart and I used glue to put his heart backtogether but who was I kidding? He was not fit enough to take on anew relationship. I screwed with two people even if my heart was in theright place...

"Look, I messed up and I messed because I failed to say no. I couldhave said no to you leaving me and just seen to my fate. My heart willalways choose you and that is something we both need to accept fromhere on out and that there will never be another to replace you. I loveyou Sabrina.” X says to me and I finally look up, in to his eyes.