Once Rejected, Twice Desired (Book 1 of Blue Moon Series)
Once Rejected, Twice Desired Chapter 46

Alaia POV

water, I would say it was a while.

I could feel that Xander was stressed, or at the very least, he was upset, so I went to go and check on him. I found him standing in the shower, letting the water wash over him. How long he was there for I couldn't say, but judging by the lack of steam coming off the I stood right at the door and called out to him. "Xander?"

I got no response. He had one arm propped on the shower wall, his eyes were closed, and his head was tilted down toward the floor. His mind was somewhere far away from here, and I needed it back.

"Xander? Can you hear me?"

When I again didn't get an answer, I stepped under the water and reached up to cup his face.

I was right about the water; it was freezing, and he didn't seem to notice at all.

When he finally registered my touch, his crystal blue eyes shot open, then focused down on me.

"Alaia, baby, what are you doing? We need to get you dried off and warm. The cold water isn't good for you and the baby."

But I didn't move. I stood firm and looked up at the man I loved.

"What happened, Xander? Why are you standing under a cold shower clearly lost in your own thoughts? What can I do?"

"It's been a long day, little one. I'm just a bit tired."

"Is this about Francesca? I know you sent Matt to go get her."

I knew I was right without him having to answer me. And I knew that he would tell me whatever I needed to know about what had happened. But I also knew that whatever happened affected Xander, and I wouldn't make him relive it. At least not now. When he opened his mouth to respond, I shook my head.

"You don't have to tell me. That's yours for now, baby. I know that you did what you felt necessary at the time. I support whatever that was 100%."

"Thank you, Alaia. I don't regret my actions, but I just wonder if I could have done anything differently to prevent it from coming to this. I guess we'll never know now." It seemed like his mind was going back to the abyss again before he shook it off and shut the water off. "Come one, beautiful. I need to get you out of these wet clothes. Why would you step in the shower fully dressed?"

"I felt that you needed me more than I needed to be dry. Was I wrong?"

His eyes shined before a breathtaking smile claimed his face. "You're not wrong; I always need you. More than my next breath." He then began to remove my clothes before letting them drop to the floor. He spun me around and rang the water out of my hair, then wrapped it up in a towel. Finally, he reached outside the shower door and grabbed a giant fluffy robe he helped me into before he stepped out and draped his towel around his waist.

"Did you have dinner yet? If not, I thought we could have something brought up and just hang out in front of the TV," I suggested.

"Sort of like a date night, that sounds good. What did you want to eat? I'll get someone started on it."

I walked into my closet to get some comfy clothes while I thought of what little bean and I had a taste for. Then it hit me. "I'll need pizza, Doritos, chocolate cake, and Snapple."

I heard Xander chuckle at my order. He knew that I had a special love affair with food, and he wouldn't dare criticize the eating habits of the woman carrying his child.

When I walked out of the closet, I saw he was mindlinking someone, so I went and sat in the seating area.

"Geoffrey will have the food up to us in twenty minutes. Luckily for you, the omegas know that you love Doritos and Snapple and now keep them stocked, and Mrs. Dyson made a large chocolate cake this afternoon. Geoff is making your pizza now, so we're all set." I wiggled my butt in the chair, doing my happy dance. Fresh homemade pizza was music to my hungry ears.

Xander stepped out of his closet in just some thin, gray sweatpants that made my mouth water. It seemed that I was hungry for more than just food.

I looked him up and down before the words came spilling from my mouth. "My God, you're sexy."

As he threw his head back and laughed, my eyes wandered to his bobbing Adams's apple. I wanted nothing more than to suck and lick and bite all over it.

Xander saw the lust in my eyes and said, "Be careful little one. You don't want to start something you can't finish. And I doubt you want to miss out on the food you have coming."

"Can't we just have a quickie? Please?"

He leaned down to me, grabbed the back of my head, and attacked my mouth with a kiss. His tongue twisted and tangled with mine as he probed and explored.

When he finally pulled away, he said, "When have I ever been quick? You know better than that. I will take my time with you each and every time. This body of yours deserves hours of worship, not just a few minutes."

Damn him and his smooth-talking ways.

He went over to the bed and grabbed a blanket before returning to the couch and draping it over me. He then sat down, placed my feet in his lap, and began to give them the most fantastic massage while I searched for what we were going to watch. "Is there any part of you that isn't magically delicious?"

He laughed before he asked, "Did you just reference the Lucky Charms' slogan?"

"I'm hungry, and my hunger manifests in strange ways. Do not judge me!"

"No judgment here at all, love. And to answer your question, I'd say no. There isn't any part of me that isn't magically delicious, but only when it comes to you."

"Good answer, sir. Damn good answer." I flipped through the options before I found one of my all-time favorite movies and squeaked in delight.

"The Godfather? I didn't know you were a fan."

"I'm a fan of all old Italian mobster movies, especially The Godfather." When I was getting settled in, Geoff knocked on the door, signaling my dinner had arrived.

A foot massage from my favorite man, watching my favorite movie while eating a few of my favorite foods. This would spoil me for sure.

Xander went to the door, then walked back, rolling a tray filled with hot, super cheesy pepperoni pizza, a massive bag of spicy sweet chili Doritos, ice-cold strawberry kiwi Snapple, and a humongous slice of chocolate cake.

My happy dance went into overdrive when the smell of the pizza hit my nose.

"Geoff says that he hopes you enjoy, and congratulations on the pup."

I was almost too caught up on the euphoria of pizza to notice what Xander had just said.

"Wait. What? How does he know about the pup?"

"Babe, you have a bump. A noticeable one. And an appetite. We were going to tell them all soon anyway, just a few people will know before the rest."

"I guess so. Well, no big deal. We will tell everyone tomorrow. Tonight, we watch the greatest movie of all times and stuff our faces."

I didn't even make it one hour into the movie before it was watching me instead of the other way around.

The combination of food and foot massage quickly knocked me out, and I wasn't complaining.

I felt when Xander lifted me up and carried me to the bed before laying me down and snuggling in behind me. He placed his face in my hair and breathed deep, letting my scent carry him off to dreamland along with me.

***

When I woke up the next morning, Xander was already up and dressed.

"Good morning, gorgeous. Get dressed quickly; we're having breakfast with the pack to announce the pregnancy. You've got twenty minutes."

"The entire pack? Seriously?"

"Well, no, we didn't have time to plan for so many. This will be about a tenth of the pack, the head families, and such. Letting them know is essentially letting the whole pack know. The existence of their future Alpha will be common knowledge by lunchtime. That is if they haven't already smelled the cinnamon rolls and figured it out themselves."

"So, I really do smell like cinnamon rolls, huh? It makes me want some with my breakfast. Is that weird?"

He laughed and leaned down to peck my lips. "Everything about you is weird, and it's just how I like it. Go get dressed; I'll make sure you have cinnamon rolls ready."

I took a quick shower and pulled my hair up in my messy bun. I decided that I didn't have to try so hard to cover my belly anymore, so I grabbed a navy blue maxi dress and my gray Chuck Taylors and pulled them on.

Xander was working on his phone in the seating area when I finally walked out of my closet. It was then that I remembered that when he took over as Alpha, he also took over three businesses. I don't know where he found the time to do everything, and do it successfully, but he did.

"I'm ready, babe. Do you need me to help with anything?"

"Uhh, nope. I think the kitchen staff has everything handled. You just need to relax and enjoy yourself."

"I meant with work, Xander. I can help you juggle some of the business demands if you need me to. I know you've got it all under control, but remember that I'm your partner in all of this, and not just pack stuff."

"I could use some help getting some contracts organized and a few other things. We'll take a look later on, okay?" "Sounds good."

We walked down to the dining hall together, talking about all the work he does outside of the pack and how Kade and Matt help keep him sane and things running smoothly. It made me happy to know that he had help before I came along and didn't have to do it all alone.

Arriving at the dining hall, I saw we were the last ones to show up. Everyone turned to give us their attention, which made me a bit nervous. I squeezed Xander's hand a little tighter, and he instinctively took a small protective step in front of me to shield me from all their glances.

"Good morning, everyone."

"Good morning, Alpha," they all replied in unison.

"Thank you all for changing your day around to come on such short notice. It's truly appreciated. The reason your Luna and I have asked you here is to make an announcement." He gave my hand a reassuring squeeze and pulled me to stand in front of him. He leaned down and placed a hand on my small bump, causing excited gasps, whispers, and murmurs to fill the room. "Today, we celebrate the existence of a new life. We have been blessed, and in a few months' time, your future Alpha will be born." The room boomed in celebration and congratulations. The pup heard all the commotion and decided to give a few well-placed kicks to join in on the fun.

"Little bean has got some seriously strong little feet and legs. These kicks are insane."

"What else would you expect from a child of mine?" Xander asked with a healthy look of pride on his face. He was going to be such a good dad.

Then, out of the corner of my eye, I saw that same blur of black hair and crystal blue eyes that greeted me when I first arrived at the house.

"Ahh! I'm going to be an aunt? I'm so f*****g excited. I hope it's a girl, or a boy, or-"

Kimmy was cut off by the ice-cold glare of her mother, who had also walked up to us. "We'll talk about that mouth of yours later, young lady," she said while looking Kimmy right in the eyes. She then turned her attention to Xander and me. "I am so happy for you two and this pack. This is the best news that any of us could have ever asked for." She gave me a tight hug, then Xander, before she stepped away to speak with Kimmy.

Just then, I was hit with a wave of nausea that made me dry heave.

"Baby? Are you alright? Do I need to go get the doctor?"

I just waved him off. "No need for the doctor. Just some orange juice, please. Nausea only comes when I'm hungry, and the orange juice helps to get rid of it almost instantly."

He helped me into my seat before waving over an omega who was carrying the carafe of juice. She poured me a huge glass and set the carafe down on the table before backing away. She must have known because I downed the drink in seconds and was moving on to my second in no time.

"Okay, I'm good now. Let's eat," I said with a smile.

Everyone took their seats as food began to fill the table.

True to his word, Xander somehow managed to have large cinnamon rolls the size of my face and smothered in icing prepared, as well.

I took one, cut into it, and watched the steam rise from its gooey insides.

When it touched my tongue, I shamelessly moaned out aloud. "Xander, be careful with these. They are almost better than s*x. Almost..."

He faked being offended and snagged a bite for himself to verify. "I see that I'm going to have to step my game up. I can't have a pastry trying to take my spot as the top pleasure giver."

"I'm willing to volunteer to help out your cause, but right now, this pastry and I have unfinished business." I destroyed that cinnamon roll in record time then grabbed another and placed it to the side.

When an omega came by to check on us, I passed the sweet treat over to her.

"Would you please have this wrapped up and set aside for me? I'm afraid they will all be gone soon if I wait any longer."

"Of course, Luna."

She took the plate and walked back toward the kitchen.

"Is that a snack for later?" Xander asked.

"No. It's for Alexi. We all enjoyed sweets when we were kids, and cinnamon rolls were some of our favorites. I just figured he could use something sweet and happy to help him remember the good times." "You're a really good person, little one. Have you decided if you're going to help him with his wolf?"

"I have. If it's what Alexi really wants to do, then I'll do whatever I can for him. He deserves to be happy, too." Finally, having made my decision, I felt lighter than I had in a while. Now I needed to go and share the news with Alexi.

***

After breakfast finished and the last few pack members left, I told Xander I would meet him in his office at noon to see what I could do to help with work. I then went to retrieve Alexi's surprise before heading down to the basement. Kade was already down there, waiting to unlock the cell door for me. "Hey, bean. How is your day so far?"

"No complaints here. I was just given massive amounts of delicious foods, so you know I'm happy. Did you miss breakfast? I didn't see you or Matt up there."

"Yeah, I woke up late. It was a long night. Sorry I missed out on the cinnamon rolls, though."

"Don't worry, Mrs. Dyson is making me another pan as we speak. I'll make sure one is reserved for all of my guys."

He gave me a quick smile and hug before opening the door for me.

I walked inside to see that Alexi was almost back to normal, but he looked a little sad. "Hey, Alaia. It's good to see you."

"Good morning, Alexi. What's going on today? You seem a bit down."

He stood up and stretched before pacing the room.

"Just a bit stir crazy is all. I really feel like a run, but obviously, I can't let Max out, so I don't know what to do. Since I'm still a werewolf, and a Beta at that, it's hard to turn that part of me off when it still exists right beneath the surface."

I thought about it for a minute before I came up with an idea. "You probably just need to stretch your muscles a bit, right?"

"Yeah, pretty much. I have a lot of pent up energy I need to get rid of, and I haven't worked out in weeks."

"Would sparring help? We have an indoor sparring ring, and I'm sure one of the guys would gladly partner up with you for a few hours. What do you think?"

He thought for a few seconds before smiling at me. "That's perfect, Al. I can get the exercise without needing to shift. Thanks!"

"Let me clear it with Xander first, and I'll let you know for sure. I don't think he'd have a problem with the idea, but it's still something he should make the call on."

"You're a great mate, and an amazing Luna, Al. Xander is a really lucky guy."

I heard Kade growl behind me, causing Alexi to put his hands up and take a couple of steps back.

I turned to Kade and rolled my eyes at him. Can't these guys even let me receive a simple compliment? Overprotective much? "Thank you, Alexi. Anyway, I came down here for a couple of reasons. First, I wanted to give you this." I passed him over the plate.

He looked at it like a kid in a candy store, and it made me feel thrilled to see. "I knew I smelled cinnamon rolls, but I just thought it was you. This is amazing." He ripped the plastic wrap off and shoved a huge bite into his mouth. When I heard him moan, I laughed. "Almost better than s*x, right?"

"No, this is so much better."

He took another bite, and I heard myself say, "You're just not doing it right or with the right person. Nothing can ever be better once you replace the right person."

Alexi looked up at me, shocked at what I had said. When his eyes, which seemed to fill with more than a little bit of lust, stayed on mine a little longer than he liked, Kade stepped forward and growled again, this time much louder. "Sorry, guys, that was my fault," I said, trying to clear the air. I reached out and touched Kade's arm to calm him down a bit.

He soon started to relax and took a few steps back to the wall.

"Anyway, besides the snack, I wanted to let you know that I'm willing to help you with your wolf. Whatever you need for me to do. I just want you to finally be happy." I stood up and began to head for the door. "I'll go see Xander about the sparring and let you know in a bit, okay? Enjoy your cinnamon roll." I walked out before he could respond. Things had gotten awkward in there thanks to my mouth, and I needed to create some space quickly.

Kade locked the door and looked over at me like a disapproving older brother.

"Don't look at me like that, okay? It wasn't intentional. I was just trying to make him feel better."

"Bean, he's still in love with you. You can't say things like that around him. In his mind, you are his 'right person. Got it?"

"I've got it. I need to go see Xander. Thank you for everything you've done to help with this mess so far. You're amazing." "More amazing than Matt?"

I laughed and said, "Not even close, but still great, though. I'll see you later. And go see Mrs. Dyson about your cinnamon roll."

I made my way up to Xander's office and walked in. He was on the phone, so I sat silently and waited for him to finish. When he was finally done, he looked up and smiled. "You're earlier than I thought you'd be. How is Alexi?"

I wanted just to discuss the sparring and be done with it, but I had no secrets when it came to Xander.

"He's okay. Can I show you something?"

He looked at me curiously before saying, "Okay."

I sat in his lap and placed my forehead against his. I closed my eyes and replayed the memory of what had happened in the cell, and transferred it over to Xander.

His hands possessively gripped my hips and pulled me closer as a growl rumbled from his chest.

When I was all done, I leaned back, but couldn't bring myself to look up at him yet. My hands in my lap were suddenly extremely interesting. "I'm sorry, Xander. I didn't mean to do or say anything that would cause any issues."

He lifted my face to meet his. I could see that he was still a little angry, but he was trying to cover it up. "Alaia, Kade was right. Anyone can see that Alexi is in love with you. Just because you have moved on, doesn't mean that he has."

This made me sad. Why couldn't all the people I cared about just be as happy as I was?

"Alaia, you have moved on, haven't you? Do you still have feelings for him?"

I was surprised by the question. Xander was the love of my life and my reason for breathing. I could never love any another man the way I loved him. But Alexi was my first crush, my first mate. When I saw him on my birthday, I felt that mate bond, and it was intense. I had loved him, too. How could I tell Xander that although my heart now belonged to him, it was Alexi's first, and he would always hold a piece of it? "I have moved on, and I'm so happy with my life now. But I can't lie to you, I did love him once, and a part of me always will. Not the way I love you, but love is still love. I am so sorry about that."

Xander cupped my face and wiped away the tears I didn't know were falling.

"Don't apologize for the way you feel, beautiful. I understand what you are saying, and I'm not upset."

I looked up into his beautiful eyes and saw nothing but the truth in them. "Thank you," I whispered.

"Anytime. Now, about the sparring. I think it's a good idea. I'll even volunteer myself as a partner, or he can go against Matt or Kade. We can get a session going in thirty minutes if that works. I could use the workout myself."

"Okay, I'll link him now and let him know. Can you have the guys meet down there? I guess you can figure out the arrangements once you all arrive."

"That works. Why don't you go lay down for a bit? I'll come to get you after we're done, and we can go over the work stuff?"

I nodded my head and started the walk to the door.

Xander's reaction was a bit strange. I didn't expect it at all; then, he seemed like he couldn't get me out of the office quick enough.

I linked Alexi to tell him to get ready, then went to the room to lay down.

Something was going on in Xander's head, and I was going to replace out what it was.

***

Xander POV

I wanted to kill Alexi for something that wasn't his fault. It was like the Francesca situation all over again. The Moon Goddess had named him Alaia's mate first, and that bond had formed no matter how soon after he broke it. I needed to talk to him man to man and figure all this s**t out. Alaia didn't deserve to feel like she was doing anything wrong for the feelings in her heart.

I went down to the cells and unlocked Alexi's door.

He was obviously not expecting any company, as I found him on the floor covered in sweat pumping through push-ups. When he saw me, he hopped to his feet and nervously looked around.

"Alpha Xander, were you ready for the sparring session? I thought I had more time before someone would come to get me."

"Sit down, Alexi. I'm not Alpha Xander right now. I'm just a man talking to another man. So just relax, okay?"

He looked at me for a moment before he nodded and took a seat on his bed.

I grabbed a chair and sat down as well.

"Okay, so Alaia showed me what happened a little earlier." I raised my hand to stop him before he could say anything, I just needed to get through this. "I'm not here to attack you or anything like that. We just need to talk, so don't worry. Anyway, it's obvious to anyone with eyes and a brain that you are in love with her. Anyone would be. She is the embodiment of female perfection, so I cannot blame you at all. But, it's now clear to me that she still has love for you as well."

I watched him as I spoke. He remained tense, but when he heard my words, I saw happiness and relief bloom in his eyes.

"Xander, I promise you that Alaia hasn't done anything inappropriate, not since you found that she was yours, or ever, as far as I know. It's true that I love her, I have always loved her, but I lost that right when I rejected her. I hope you won't think any less of her because of the way she may still feel for me. She's moved on, and I've never seen her happier. I just want her to be happy."

I wanted him to be smug about her feelings for him. I had hoped that he would tell me how she would never be over him, that he'd always be her first love. But instead, he showed real maturity, sincerity, and selflessness. It was clear that he only wanted what was best for Alaia; his needs were no longer his priority.

"Let me ask you something. Why do you really want to get rid of your wolf?"

"It's simple. Mas is a threat to Alaia's happiness and wellbeing. It's not my job to protect her anymore, but if I know of something that can or will cause her any harm, I'll wipe it out in a heartbeat. Max has got to go. I can be happy as a human knowing that I did all that I could to keep her safe."

f**k this kid and his perfect f*****g answers.

Now I knew that I had to do this. It was my only option. I took a deep breath and looked him straight in the eyes. "Alaia loves you, and that is never going to change. And right now, she feels bad about it, like she's betraying me for things placed in her heart before I ever came along. I never want her to feel that way. So, I was thinking, what if she was able to have and love both of us, at the same time?"