Palindrome
Drawing down the Moon

The car engine purred as he drove fast back to town, Ed Sheeran on the speaker almost drowning out the sound. I was dreading the end of the ride, wondering if he would blow me off again as he`d done before. I had too much faith in the Goddess; I kept telling myself she would let me know if I shouldn’t be with William, clinging to the fact she hadn’t said a word about something like that. I also had a bad conscience because of Samuel; I`d promised him to stay away from the Adamsons.

“Where is your mind right now?” He didn’t look at me, just kept his shaded eyes on the road. I shook my head, my ponytail bouncing. “I`m thinking I hope you don`t blow me off when we`re back.” There, I`d said it. A slight smirk appeared before he loosened one hand from the wheel. He took my left hand, lifted it to his mouth and kissed it. I`m sure I felt him licking it, making my libido jump. He took a deep breath, letting it out like a growl. “I should. We shouldn’t be together in any way, I`m not good for you, and you`re not good for me.” I didn’t know what he meant, but I was afraid to ask. “But somehow…” He looked my way for a second, “Somehow, we`re connected. I`m brought up to trust my instincts. If you`re serious when you say you haven’t put a spell on me, I have to believe there`s something here for us. We`re a people of prophecies and myths; maybe we are part of a bigger picture.” I blinked; this was overwhelming. Then he deadpanned, “Or maybe I just want to fuck you.” Air got caught in my throat; hearing him say that was the hottest thing I`ve ever heard. Right now - the choice between being star-crossed lovers playing a part in a prophecy or us just wanting to fuck, I`d take the latter.

He laughed at my cough and parked the car before my door. I looked over at Mrs Jensen and frowned. “She`s going to have the flowers and the bees talk to me soon; I just know it.” William laughed, “Oh, please tell me you know about that already?” Once again, he made me blush; I felt like I was 16. “I know enough,” I mumbled back, hiding my face. He turned his torso to me, “I want to kiss you, but I think that’s a bad idea, considering what happened last time. I might not be able to stop it.” The memory of the last kiss fogged my brain for a second; he didn’t need to stop it. No, he was right; I needed time alone. Time to think about the fact that William was 500 years old. He was the great-grandson to Noah, and Noah was still alive. William took off his sunglasses and I smiled, “You do know that it`s after nine and the sun is down?” I gasped when he locked his eyes with mine; his usual pale blue was gone, now they were purple and alien. “We have our full-moon ritual.” His voice seemed rougher, deeper. “Go, I`ll meet you at one.” He seemed distant suddenly, and my adrenaline spiked, sensing some danger. Without a word, I exited the car, and he spun off as soon as I`d closed the door. God damn it, I`d fallen in love with a werewolf.

There was no time to think about it; I needed tonight`s ritual more than ever. I had goosebumps all over my body as I cleansed myself in the stream, muttering the sacred words to myself. I dried off and walked up to the place of the circle; the moon was already up, I wanted some answers. Hopefully some would come. The altar was fully prepared; the sword lay on the ground. I had a candle in each direction, the altar at the North. On it there was a bowl of water and salt, together with the athame.

I took some cleansing breaths and dipped the athame in the water.

I exorcise thee, O creature of Water, that thou cast out from thee all the impurities an uncleanness of the Spirits of the World of phantasm, in the Names of Cernunnos and Aradia

I then dipped the knife in the salt.

Blessings be upon this creature of salt; let all malignity and hindrance be cast forth thencefrom, and let all good enter therein. Wherefore I bless thee and invoke thee, that thou mayest aid me, in the names of Cernunnos and Aradia.

I took the salt, poured it into the water, and stirred thrice with the athame. I grabbed the sword with both hands and started casting the circle from North to North.

I conjure thee, O circle of Power, that thou beest a meeting-place of love and joy and truth; a shield against all wickedness and evil: a boundary between the world of men and the realms of the Mighty Ones; a rampart and protection that shall preserve and contain the power that we shall raise within thee. Wherefore I bless thee and consecrate thee, in the names of Cernunnos and Aradia.

With the saltwater in hand, I walked around the circle in a deosil motion, sprinkling the line. Putting the bowl down again, I lifted my athame to the east and carved a pentagram in the air.

Ye Lords of the Watchtowers of the East, ye Lords of the Air; I do summon, stir and call you up, to witness our rites and to guard the circle.

I continued and summoned protection in each direction and from all the elements. When that was done, I stood in front of the altar with my hands in the air, palms up, like a chalice.

I invoke thee and call upon thee, Mighty Mother of us all, bringer of all fruitfulness, by seed and root, by stem and bud, by leaf and flower and fruit I do invoke thee to descend upon the body of this thy servant and priestess.

I cast my head back, feeling the light from the moon pour into me and filling my body and soul. I opened up to Her, begging her to fill and use me. It felt like lightning hit me and I crumbled to my knees.

Oh, my child, you must be stronger. It would be best to stand tall; you must withstand the storm. You have a Beast to tame. I`ll give you what I can without tipping the balance. He is yours and you are his, but the forces in you both are like the lightning hit; it has to have an outlet. Remember that this has been promised early, but you always have a choice. For there will come a time when you will regret this union, it will break you. Maybe it will be worth it in the end, maybe not. To save a Beast, a Devil, is it worth your soul?

The light left me, and I was in a ball on the ground, cold to the inner core of my bones. I don’t know how long I lay there, visions clouding my head from times past and times to come. She didn’t speak to me again, but I heard her voice. I saw her talking to an old man, dark-skinned and with a cane. He seemed to beg her, but when she refused, he became angry. The Goddess shook her head with tears in her eyes, but the man wouldn’t listen. I noticed a woman in the background, crying and holding on to a younger man; she too fell to her knees to beg. I watched in horror as the older man raised his cane and struck the Goddess hard, over and over. The blood poured down her face, and she crumbled to the ground and landed in my position. I then became her, and I felt the cane hit me repeatedly till I felt no more.

I don’t know what woke me, but it had to be almost two hours since the ritual. My legs felt like jelly; I had to use the altar to help me stand. I closed the circle but used a short version; the Goddess knew why; it was her fault. I`d never had her speak to me like that in a ritual; it was like she was right beside me instead of a vague voice in my head. The words were etched in my brain, playing on and on. It was then I heard the sound. Someone was coming over the grass on silent feet; my body instinctively recognized danger. The power from the moon was inside me; I just needed to bring it out. I was surprised when I saw I already had the sword in my hands, holding it differently than I had under the ritual. Damn me for closing the circle; it could have kept me somewhat safe. The full moon helped my sight, but nothing could have prepared me for what I saw approaching me.

It wasn’t human, but I couldn’t call it an animal. It wasn’t a wolf, or a bear, although it had similarities to both. It walked on two feet but with a rocking motion, suggesting it could run on all four if it wanted to. Short, dark fur, long claws. The face… the face was like taken out of the medieval stories about the devil; I could see the canines clearly in the moonlight, his breath coming out like growls. The horns were maybe twenty centimeters long, made of black bone that twirled around itself. His ears were pointed, and his body looked made entirely from muscles. The eyes glowed as they looked at me. I raised the sword, prepared to fight for my life. The fear and adrenaline made my body warm, but I wondered how long I could run with bare feet. I knew the Devil didn’t exist; at least that was what I`d been told. Standing before this creature I had to doubt the teachings.

Greetings, daughter of Lil.

The voice echoed in my brain, startling me.

Afraid?

In response, I lifted the sword and took a step forward, a tremble in my legs, but I hoped it wasn’t noticeable. It also took a step forward, lessening the distance between us. It didn’t feel like it would jump me, but one swing of one of its arms and I was dead. The Beast took another step towards me, and the words of the Goddess rang through my head. “You have a Beast to tame.”

I finally opened my mouth.

“What kind of beast are you?”

The body was bigger than a full-grown man, the head towering over me. There was a rumbling sound from his chest, almost like laughter. It was right before me, and I let the sword fall; I couldn’t yield it now anyway.

Tell me, Hannah. Have you ever danced with the devil under the light of the full Flower moon?