Palindrome
The First and the Last

I watched him take to the sky, his despair hitting my soul like a cannonball. I knew he wasn’t gone for good, he would never leave his family in all this, but would he ever be truly mine? Could we survive this? I had changed, I wasn’t the one he`d fallen in love with. Natan asked my something, and I had to force my mind over on the more pressing subject.

“What are we supposed to do now?” He spoke with one eye on Belinda, wearing a frown. Was this the right time to tell them the good news? Or hopefully good news, I hadn`t gotten to know their relationship yet, but they seemed determined to push away differences and make it work. Well, now they had to. I pulled them aside, grabbing them both by the arm, giving Samuel a look to make him stay away.

“Natan, Belinda. What have you been up to?” I smiled mischievous, putting on a mask for their sake. They looked at each other, not sure what I meant. I rolled my eyes and turned to Belinda, “Have you been feeling alright lately?” Besides the zombie-invasion and the self-inflicted murder of her family, that was. She stared at the ground, kicking pieces of a leg left behind, and shrugged her slim shoulders. Natan grabbed her waist and pulled her closer, “Have you been sick? Why haven’t you told me?” She glanced quickly at me, then back at him. “I`m fine, nothing to worry about.”

I snorted, “There will be in a 6 months’ time.” Natan blinked one, twice. Belinda bit her lip, she had obviously had a feeling, my news wasn’t a surprise. “What… What do you mean, what happens in 6 months?” I patted his shoulder and left them to talk this over, smiling at the idea of me being an aunt. Half a year ago, I`d thought I`d been almost all alone in this world, now I had my brother back, and Belinda and Benjamin. With him came also Oscar, and I had rekindled my connection with Samuel and his family.

Another name burned in my heart, but I didn’t dare take him for granted. He just had to come to his senses, I tried to reassure myself.

I walked towards them, they were tired and hurt, but we had survived. Samuel told me Oscar had lost a lot of blood, but they had managed to stop the bleeding and he would be ok, after some time. Belinda and Natan came over, hand in hand, Natan with a joyous look on his face. Neither of them asked after William, had they seen him leave? My brother smiled wide and gestured to the house, “We need a glass of Champagne. Not you, sweet cheeks.” He said sternly to Belinda, who giggled in response. “The Zombies are gone, and the big Beast has flown away, we need some celebration after the last months.”

The cork made a popping sound, and they all cheered. Oscar on the sofa, and the rest of us scattered around the living room. There was a manic side to the too cheerful celebration, we all knew the battle was far from over, nobody talked about William or Bridget, or what the next step was. We all nippe d at our glasses, the atmosphere suddenly heavy. I excused myself and blamed my previous near-death episode. Benjamin sat down beside Oscar, Samuel went into the study and closed the door after him, Belinda and Natan talked low amidst themselves as they went to bed. Just a few hours earlier we`d been in a battle, my scars were still pink and tender. I needed time alone to think, but I needed William more. I`d wanted to give him space to figure things out, but I was selfish.

In my room, I sat down by my desk and lighted a candle. I stared at the flame, willing it to burn steady and let my mind wander at first, before I concentrated on William. I found him in a dark place, a statue behind him where he sat on a bench with his head in his hands. He was in his human form, dressed in only jeans. He was at Lady`s Dwell, I remembered the first time he brought me there, a lifetime ago. William sat back abruptly, tossing his head back and used his hands to wipe away tears. My heart exploded in pain, and even though I wasn’t there in my physical form – William looked up with burning eyes.

“Hannah. Is it you? Are you really here?”

I opened my mouth to answer, but the words didn’t come. Seems I was mute in this shape. I could still feel my actual body sitting dead still at the desk back in the house, like a wax figure. Instead, I glided closer, and stopped before him, my heart bleeding for us.

I pressed my hands to his cheeks, but I had no momentum. His eyes still burned, but with another flame.

“You should go back; I want to be alone.” His voice was raw. I shook my head. “Hannah, you don’t understand. My family has tortured and killed your kind. We held your brother captive in our basement, my father had you drugged and kidnapped. I was supposed to torture YOU when I turned five hundred.” He closed his eyes briefly. “Today. I`m 500 years old today. And I was wrong, it is you who`s torturing me.” I flinched violently, his emotions slicing me open. I tried to convey my love through my expression and mouthed “I love you.” He just shook his head. “Not possible, at some stage you will think more about what we have done to witches, and you will hold it against me. If it hadn`t been for us, your parents would still be alive. Natan would have been with you. There is too much shit between us. And you…” He looked almost mad as he tried to grab me, his hands meeting air. “You are a Goddess. How can any be worthy?” I wanted to scream in frustration, I needed him to know that love didn’t work that way. A bizarre idea formed in my head, and I looked down at my shimmering hand. Hesitantly, I let it glide inside his chest, reaching for his heart. It was a funny feeling, my ghost-hand could feel the warmth from his blood, and the slickness of his organs. I cradled his heart gently, musing over his astonished expression. He held completely still; he didn’t even breathe at first.

I didn’t do anything, I just marvelled at his purple eyes, and held his heart until it beat in sync with mine. His face softened and I saw his lips curl at the end, a small smile more beautiful than a sunrise in September.

Back at the house, someone opened my door with a bang. I whipped my head around, scaring William. In my real body I saw Samuel in my doorway.

“Hannah, snap out of it. Bridget is back, and she has a guest.”

William talked fast but I shook my head at him and pressed my non-existent lips to his, hoping he could feel my kiss on some level.

Come back to me.

I shouted the words in my head before I got hurled back. The candle had burned down, and I was freezing, but I had no time for pity. “Is she OK? Who`s with her?” Samuel was pale and held out his hands helplessly. “You have to see it for yourself, he says he knows you.”

I ran down the stairs, followed closely by Samuel. Bridget stood in the kitchen, a coffee mug in her hands. I leapt in her arms, feeling the love streaming freely from her little body. “Hannah, good to have you back in this world.” Her smile was like a little kid`s. It was first when I pulled back I saw the very old man in a wheelchair by the door to the living room. He was so old he was almost curled up in a little ball, like a dead spider in the kitchen window. His eyes held so many emotions and wisdom, I felt almost drunk looking into them. It was faint, but I could see the emerald shine coming from them. They looked almost snake-like.

Something in me took command, and I bowed my head slightly to him, and he did the same to me.

“Greetings, Old One.”

He wheeled the chair closer, and his voice squeaked with old age.

“Greetings, Goddess. It`s finally happening. I have been waiting for this day for eons.”

I could feel his exhaustion.

“The time is near, The First one will be the Last, Ophidian.”

I heard shuffling behind me, and Benjamin came in, supporting Oscar, who looked confused.

“Ophidian? That`s Mr Pevensy. I thought you were dead?”

¤¤¤