Perfect Match: Irresistible Desire For You -
Chapter 376
“April 19th
I sat on the window seat and gazed outside of the window as the train moved ahead. I wrapped myself tightly, but sleep eluded me.
It had been two days and two nights since I began this journey. I was basking in the warm sunshine, but there was no warmth within me.
My intention was to reach the city where there would be snow. I was under the impression I could bury my pain there.
Through everything, my mind went back to him. I hope he was leading a good life in the remote city.”
——
“May 10th
My mother’s death has left me devastated. I can’t remember having ever felt so lonely. However, I did a good job at hiding it from others. When I was a child, I was popular among children. I was a cheeky little monkey to all the adults. They considered me ignorant, naughty and crass.
Nobody knew that I was only vying for my father’s attention. My attempts failed miserably as he hardly took notice of me. After a certain point, I got used to behaving recklessly. If it wasn’t for this, I would have grown up like other girls.
In my twenties, I had a short-lived relationship. In the beginning, it was all beautiful like fireworks in the sky. But soon, it faded. I learned to endure all sorts of pain.
I cannot bring myself to forgive those two men who broke my heart! Never!
‘I have never loved you,’ was a line that would keep reverberating in my mind. The despair in his black eyes has remained vivid in my memory.
It has been half a month since I came to this desolate city. I tried to detach myself from the reality of these terrible events, but the nightmares in the dead of night never failed to fill me with dread.
In the end, I could do nothing but patiently wait for the dawn to come. Even when I closed my eyes now, I could remember the past as vividly as it was yesterday. My mind and heart were both bleeding with pain.”
“May 11th
I didn’t dare to read my old diary entries. I feared it might be akin to opening up old wounds.
I began the habit of keeping a diary to pour my heart when I was emotional. But slowly, it has turned and become a daily routine. I tried my best to keep myself busy during daytime. However, I was left feeling lonely during the nights. That was when I found solace in pouring my heart out to my diary. Every day was the same.
When I was alone, words remained my only companion.
Everything that has happened in my life had been recorded in this diary. I cannot help but think that one day I would die, friendless and lonely. From now on, I won’t bother to add any dates. I realized there was no need to be so precise about time and date when expressing my sadness.”
———
“In the plateau area of Frimery which was located in the western part of the country, the snow came a little earlier than it usually did. On the first day, the white and gentle snowflakes did a good job at burying tears.
I was overcome by an urge to bury my past there and never look back.”
…
“The people here were very enthusiastic and that helped me become enthusiastic as well. The army was brimming with ambitious people. I recovered my position of colonel and began a new life.
Even with everything happening around me, I still missed him.
I couldn’t forget his gentleness, although I knew it was wrong. I was deeply infatuated by him. I don’t think I had ever seen a man so thoughtful and tolerant. However, in the end, I consoled myself saying I didn’t deserve him.
Now I would forever by titled as another man’s woman. In short, I was dirty and revolting. I had no right to love him and he would be better off without me. But I couldn’t just forget everything and move on.”
…
“When I came to this desolate place under difficult conditions, I was depressed and had lost any interest in food and drink. As a result, I fell ill within a week. Adapting to this new environment was no easy feat. The doctor said this happened because I wasn’t accustomed to this place and I kept depressed for quite a long time.
I don’t remember being this sick before, but like everything else, my sickness won’t last long.
How I wished I had died then! Death would put me to rest. I wouldn’t have had to recall my past and torture myself with lovesickness.”
…
“I stayed in bed for three days. If it wasn’t for Erin in the dormitory next door, I don’t know what would have become of me. She was kind enough to bring me three meals every day and encourage me to resume a normal life. I was still sick when the regular inspections were carried out in the army. Cold wind was blowing outside. But I convinced myself this was the only way I could clear my head. Then I wouldn’t have to be haunted by my nightmares.” …
As Mike continued to leaf through this diary, his eyes turned red and sadness swept over him.
Rose had poured her heart out in the dairy, and every word went to show she had experienced great sadness. This tore his heart.
Heavy-hearted, Mike was lost in his thought. There was a sudden knock on the door, bringing him out of his reverie.
Before Mike had regained his senses, the door was opened.
Mike gently put down the thick diary in his hand. Then he adjusted his sitting position and turned to the door. When he raised his eyes, he saw a fat, middle-aged woman in military uniform. She slowly walked into the room, carrying a steel plate in her hand.
Closing the door gently, she regarded Mike. At first, a look of surprise crossed her face. Soon, it was replaced by a kind smile. “Hello! Rose asked me to bring you something to eat,” she said, still smiling.
After saying that, she walked forward and put the plate on the desk. “There are minced pork soup and millet porridge here. I am afraid they don’t taste very good. However, you have to make do with it.”
“Thank you.” Mike was moved to hear Rosa cared so much about him. He picked up the steaming millet porridge and asked gently, “Are you Erin?”
At this, the lady stared at him in astonishment. She raised her voice a notch and said, “Yes, but how do you know me?”
Mike didn’t answer her question. Instead, he began to eat the porridge.
Rosa had mentioned in her diary that Erin had a close relationship with her and cared a great deal about her. Erin’s response had confirmed his doubt.
Erin continued to regard the handsome man sitting on the chair. With a hint of uncertainly, she asked, “Are you… Mike?”
As soon as Mike heard his full name, his hand that was taking a scoop of porridge stopped mid-air. He looked up and asked, “Did she tell you about me?”
“No. Well, sort of.” Erin gave a vague answer. Seeing he was confused, she explained, “I know Rose is in love with a man. When she fell sick, she would often call his name. And that name was Mike. When Rose came to see me this morning, she looked a little flustered. She asked me to cook something light and bring it to her room. After saying that, she told me there was a pressing matter she had to handle and gave no further explanation.
I was under the impression she wanted to have breakfast before she left. I came here expecting to see her. However, now that I am here, I see a man. I am very surprised too. I think you are the man Rose loves.”
When Erin spoke, her voice was firm. She didn’t sound tense as before.
Mike was glad to hear this, but his happiness was mingled with pain.
Rose had been missing him for so many years and he could imagine the pain she had experienced all this while.
Seeing the pained expression on Mike’s face, the tiny little doubt Erin had about his identity disappeared. “Normally, Rose is strong and detached. The only time she ever showed her weakness was when she fell sick. She repeatedly called your name and had tears in her eyes. Just watching her look like this left me heartbroken.
I have no idea what has caused this rift between you both. However, I can vouch that she is in love with you and suffers a lot in silence. With all due respect, if you can’t make her happy and give her a sense of security, don’t come and intrude upon her peaceful life.”
“I love her too. Something did happen then, but now the misunderstanding has been cleared up. I won’t leave her behind again, absolutely not!” Mike said firmly, his eyes unwavering and steady.
He was also deeply in love with Rose. They had once shared a wonderful relationship. Both of them were dedicated and serious about each other. Mike thought getting back and resuming that life would be perfect.
“Mr. Guzman, you can’t just make empty promises,” Erin said in a deep voice. She was very guarding Rose. “She has stayed here for three years. Others envied her for her outstanding ability and the rapid promotions she achieved, but I knew she wasn’t happy. She kept herself busy just so she could run away from her own thoughts. I am aware you are the cause of her distress. When you two broke up, you gave up on her and never bothered to replace her. Mere promise will not help this time.”
A stranger was accusing him, but Mike wasn’t offended. Instead, when he spoke, his voice sounded calm and resolute. “I’m not just saying it. I intend to keep my promise.”
His face was set in determination and Erin was stunned to see that.
If you replace any errors (non-standard content, ads redirect, broken links, etc..), Please let us know so we can fix it as soon as possible.
Report